What’s the average penis size? Is my penis normal? Does my partner really care? The answers are surprisingly reassuring

Guys are obsessed with their joysticks from roughly the time they’re 18 months old, when babies develop object permanence (that is, knowing that something doesn’t go away just because it’s hidden).

When we get older, though, a penis takes on more meaning. It’s not only a convenient way to pee in the woods, it can be a very literal symbol of masculinity and a huge source of anxiety. Is it big enough? Angled the right way? Bigger than our boss’s?

Close to a third of all men aren’t happy with what they’re packing, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as a perfect penis.

The statistically average penis size isn’t as large as you might think.
There is, shall we say, extensive research on the average size of a flaccid and erect penis. The scientific consensus? Three and a half inches when it’s just hanging out, and between 5.1 and 5.6 inches when it’s business time. A key point to give you some locker room confidence: Flaccid length seems to have little impact on erect length, which is the basis of the expression, “you’re either a grower or a shower.”

Other body parts can (and should) be part of sex.
The penis is only one tool for sexual pleasure. Give your partner a hand. Or a tongue. Or … you fill in the blank. Variety, as they say, is the spice of doing it a whole bunch.

Even if it’s really, really small, you’re fine — really.
A “micropenis” is a medical term to describe a penis that is more than 2.5 standard deviations below the average size. With average size around 5.5 inches, this means a significantly smaller-than-average penis is less than 3 inches long, thought to be a result of low testosterone levels during the second and third trimesters of pregnancy. It’s not common, though — only about one in 200 men have one. A man with this condition can suffer from anxiety or depression, which should be treated by a mental health professional. Most people, though, don’t really mind this when they encounter it. When Buzzfeed interviewed women who had slept with men with micropenises, they mostly said it wasn’t an issue so long as the guy didn’t make a proverbial mountain out of a molehill, and men with advanced oral skills earned themselves some high praise.

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