Mouth Action

Akpos was approached by a co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. Akpos said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem, "When you get home
tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's undies, and give her 'Mouth Action'. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."

So Akpos agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself.

Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's undies and gave her MouthAction. She moaned and
groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realised he had to pee, so he told her he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the bathtub.

"How did you get in here?" he asked.
"Shhhh!!!" she replied, "You will wake up my Mum!"

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Special Christmas Day Gift

Akpos wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart for Christmas Day. As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision. After careful consideration, he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sister, Cynthia, he went to the store and bought the gloves. Cynthia purchased a pair of undies at the same time.

The clerk carefully wrapped both items, but in the process got them mixed up. Cynthia was handed the gloves and Akpos got the undies. Akpos sent his Christmas Day gift with the following note:

"This special Christmas Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister Cynthia, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.

"These are lovely ones, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely. I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you will wear them on Sunday night for me."

From Akpos, your darling.

"Staler"

Knock! Knock!!

As an ultimate test of his will power, Akpos decided to give up sex for lent (fasting). Although not thrilled with the idea, his wife agreed to support him in this effort. The first few weeks weren't too difficult. Things got tougher during the next couple of weeks, so his wife wore her dowdiest night clothes and chewed on garlic before going to bed.

The last couple of weeks were extremely tough on Akpos, so his wife took to locking the bedroom door and forcing him to sleep on the couch. Easter morning finally
came. A knock came on the wife's bedroom door, "KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!"

AKPOS: Guess who?

WIFE: I know who it is!

AKPOS: Guess what I want?

WIFE: I know what you want!

AKPOS: Guess what I'm knocking with?

Author: @njuwo

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