How physically assertive should you be with a girl?

My freshman year of college I woke up in bed with this girl Stacy.

After I walked her out of the dorm in the
morning, all the guys on my floor came to
congratulate me.

Every one had assumed that I had slept with her.

But the truth was that I hadn’t even kissed her. I couldn’t tell the guys that. So I was vague and pretended that I didn’t want to kiss and tell…

What really happened?

I talked on the edge of my bed with Stacy all night. I was scared to touch her. I was scared to even look at her too long.

The next time I saw Stacy on campus she politely said hi to me, but was too busy to hang out that week. Or the next week…

Why didn’t I try anything with Stacy?

I didn’t want her to think I JUST wanted to have sex with her.

That would scare her away, right? She’s think I was using her for sex. Or I was a player. Or that I was “just like other guys”….

That is the way my brain worked for a long time.

Hide your sexual desire. Girls will think you’re a “player” if you’re too assertive. Show them that I’m different.

Unfortunately it wasn’t until a few years later that I realized this wasn’t true.

Not only wasn’t it true. It was a HORRIBLE strategy.

And makes me wish I had a time machine to go back to freshman year of college. And get a “do over” with all those 19 year olds I fumbled the ball with.

The truth is, the more physically assertiveness you pursue a girl with, the more aroused she becomes…

Bold and aggressive pursuit of a girl TURNS HER ON.

EVEN if she wasn’t interested in you in the first place.

The opposite is also true, a girl can be completely  into you… but if you’re not physically assertive that interest quickly fades.

Being sexual forthright triggers a girl’s arousal and gets her thinking about you in a sexual way.

Now, the caveat is that you have to be smooth about it, or you risk looking like a creep.