Humnnnn Nigeria Police na them be the real armed robbers in naijiria. I culd remember a time a broda of mine spent my friend money about #500K and we were looking for de guy and.went to Area G police station @ Ogba to report den few dayz later de guy surface back home den we went back to inform dem the guy has returned and I and my friend will sort the issue of money. The next tin I heard was no we av to bring de guy to dem and I should refund my friend's money and dat their share from it is 10% wot for and likewise my friend. Infact dey trace my address and brought a warrant of arrest to arrest my broda all cos we told dem to close the case file and we ar goin to settle the monetary issue but I refused them. In short if yu see naijiria police pls run away from them. Tank U allll.

Hmmmm

Sometime last year,my friend and I were driving to Enugu from awka. We were stopped around 9th mile corner(as it is with Nigeria police when they see two or three young guys in a car). One of them told the officer that stopped us to search us and make sure he finds something even if it's a rizler(a white paper used for wrapping marijuana).His reason was that we might be suspected criminals or even kidnappers(reason being that my friend was driving a Nissan Armada). The officer(inspector I guess) did as he was told but the found nothing on us and in the car. He reported back to his superior officer and his superior came to search us and the car by himself. While searching us he saw our different IDs and he was like...“who una papa be and wetin una dey do?”..it was amusing because he saw our age and he believed we were too young to be driving a V8 jeep except we are criminals or kidnappers(stupid naija mentality)...we showed him our complimentary cards and suddenly his mean face changed to a smiley face.
He was like “make una find us something naa”...I now took it personal with him and told him that there is no way I will give him something considering the level of embarrassment he gave us(i forgot to add that when he was searching he opened a sealed parcel which was a gift meant for someone)..
After telling him my churchmind,he started shouting,telling us to drive off or he will do something stupid...as we were about driving off he called us BLOODY CIVILIANS...couldn't help but laugh because he doesn't know he is a civilian too.

Despite their many sins. Some have been fortunate to have received their help also. A man was robbed of all that he had on his way home. The fuel he had, could not take him home. As luck would have it, he met a police checkpoint and stopped. He narrated all that happened to them. To his surprise, they showed empathy, took him to a filling station, bought fuel for him and gave him N5,000 in addition for anything that may occure on the way. He said, "God will bless and protect them, and that, someone also would help them at the point of their needs"

I went somewhere while returning this police guy stopped us his name is Sunny (I have forgotten his Surname/Number) so he started shouting at the driver because the guy previously gave him a bad money.

He said:
"U no my right and you no what I can do. U no that power Pass Power u thought I was a fool and you gave me torn money abi see am warning you don't try it again or I will deal with you"

currentbrands:
Sometime in 2006, i was driving back to Uyo from Lagos where i had gone to buy my Nissan Quest car. I had set out from Lekki via Epe on a friday morning as early as 6am driving peacefully through ijebu Ode, past Ore and approaching Benin where my predicament started.
On entering Benin city, trying to navigate my way through the town, in an instant i was cornered by two cars with fierce looking men in mufti and heavily armed, who i later realized were men of the NPF.

I was accompanied away to their station in Benin on allegation of not carrying authentic vehicle particulars. After a senseless delay of about 3 hours, a deal was brokered. The DPO asked me to part with 100k, which of course i didn't have. We finally settled for 30k which i agreed to pay and which i didn't have on me either.
The DPO asked me to deposit my Identity card and my phone with him as surety, while he detailed a Police constable to accompany me to Uyo where i would give him the agreed sum to take back to him (DPO) in Benin, after which my deposits (Fone and ID Card) would be couriered to me.

On getting to Asaba that night, the poor constable who tried to chat me up severally, but i gave deaf ears to, suddenly became quite uncomfortable. It immediately dawned on him that he's been sent on a suicide mission. The next thing i heard him say was: ''Oga, abeg drop me off in Onitsha.......i no dey follow you again, make person no go chop off my head......my mama and papa still dey alive.....make oga DPO go kill me when i reach office.....my life is worth more than 30 abeg''

LWKMD!!!!!

Funniest

Pheals:
Yes Nigerian police as progress no more #20 it's now #100 witnessed this in a bus ... The driver was like "who get 100naira there before will. Move" I can see the female police officer near .untill he gave her the money she left .... Few minutes later will move forward as the passanger start to complain to the driver .another police officer came again the driver said "officer how far now " . he said "i dey wait o" the driver quickly reply " i don see one of the officer oga ! "

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another experience: when travelling to my home town for the new year celebration I saw my uncle counting 50naira note then I ask " uncle wetin u wonh use this dough for? He then hand it over to me "take. Tosin count it for me" ..after am done I said "uncle na 1000 naira" he said "na the police officer money be that , immediatly u see them just hand me one #50note do that when we are returning to Lagos also OK ?



Now Nairalanders share yours!!!

Police is our friend indeed cos wen u carry case cum dem go change evrytin cum put d case 4 ya head...#meninblack

some years ago was driving around afrikan shrine ikeja (with expired docs and weed in d car)

got stopped n searched n everythin was found
police- oga ur money na 100k
me- lol oga na cashless society be dis hw i go hold 100k 4 hand
police-oya go use atm quick
me- oga money no dey d atm, but i hold small somtin here i fit drop for u
police-hw much?
me- na 1k oo
police-u no serious oya enter motor we dey go station
me- ok no wahala

we drove some distance, towards MKO Abiola garden, dey stopped, i stopped behind dem

police- oya oga talk better no waste our time, if we reach station na die u dey oo
me- oga make we go station i no get pass dis 1k for here, if arm robber go person house and na only 20 naira d person get 4 house, robber no fit comot with 40 naira
END OF STORY- dey collected d 1k, and gave me my weed back.


2nd incident, i was travelin, got stopped along onitsha-owerri road just after obosi
police checked everything. all was intact dis time

police-oya where ur engine number dey come show us
me- ahh oga mi make i park well be dat, and make una find me somtin cold to drink coz we go tey small 4 here oo, b4 i go fit show una as engine need cool down wella
police- o boy come show us engine number u too talk
me- ah oga mi me i no fit put hand for dere oo, motor wey i don dey fire non stop from lagos, u say make i put hand 4 engine show u d number? na flesh dey my hand o no be metal
police- o boy u funny o oya carry ur motor dey comot for here
me -yes sir
police- anythin for us? we don dey work under sun since morning
me- oga if i don dey come bk i go see una .. den i zoomed off

moral of all dis? know hw to approach and talk to dese policmen, they are humans just like us, forget uniform and gun. keep ur cool at all times, dnt form hard guy, and be jovial/pleasant too.

LOL, Nigerian Police and Bribe

Everybody is busy talking about the police,what about the Nigerian army?
They are doing the same thing now,few days ago i was in a keke and we were asked to stop by some hoodlums and they demanded 100# from the keke operator and i was so disappointed when i found out that the military men were using the boys to collect 100# each from the keke operators in that check point.
When the man refused giving the bribe as requested one of the military guys walked up to him and was threatening to deal with him if he don't comply,He gave them the 100# + 50# already giving to police in a previous check point +20# paid to their union before leaving the departure point...he was left with 30# at the end of the journey.
We were all looking and couldn't say a word as the helpless keke operators paid the 100# with 'THANK YOU SIR' but only to start complaining immediately they left the check point.

The military check points is at obikabia,along new umuahia road ogbor hill Aba,Abia State and the police check point is opposite seven days Adventist hospital along the same new umuahia road and the distance between this two check points is not more than a mile.

Nigeria JAGA JAGA!!!

Wicked Guy, I Feel You

Driving along Akin Adesola few years back, I was on the wrong lane as I wanted to drive into adeola Odeku street. There was some traffic on the left lane (which is where I should have been) and not the right lane (for motorists driving towards Falomo bridge).
By the time I noticed my mistake (I had started trafficating left and caused a small traffic on my own for legitimate motorists), police came to my vehicle.
I was so calm as I simply reached into my purse, pulled out N500, smiled at the police man and quickly explained that I made an honest mistake.
The guy didn't even wait for my explanation. He plucked my money from my fingers, stopped traffic for the legitimate lane turning into d same Adeola odeku, smiled at me and asked me to go!