4C2215131:


Word! I've dated my fair share of difficult folks. Maybe they were sent my way for self development.

Remember dating one sent to me from the fiery pits itself. Men! What that individual that was spawned from the loins of Lucifer himself made me go through, lawdy!

The good thing is that the situation made me see where I had to work on myself also as I wasn't perfect either though I was far from being a hell spawn demonoid masquerading as a human.

Mindfulness:
Is it the only problem you have with her? If the answer is yes, then ignore it. Go silent on her and do not even bother to think about it.
I say it because it seems to me that you two are quite comfortable and because I believe that there are situations where our siblings need and deserve our help and you are doing the needful without depriving your own family of anything necessary.

If your wife has other attributes that are pleasing you, then it is enough. Nobody is perfect.

4C2215131:


Please hope you understand I was speaking in the third person perspective. The comments were not for you o!

Princewell2012:
Ha bros na joke I dey o

freecocoa:

The nerves, she even called your brother to bring back some stuffs, OP e be like say your wife no get respect for you o.

Acidosis:

I was raised in a peaceful nuclear family so I understand the meaning of marriage. OP married the wrong person, he ignored the warning signs. Its as simple as ABC.

Did you read where the wife finds it easy to help her OWN sisters, but the sight of her husband assisting her brother in law drives her craz.y?

Your anti-men principles should not becloud your ability to rationally analyse issues.

Saying "this is not a big deal" is not proper please. How did you arrive at "she loves hanging on old stuffs"? Is the property hers? The marriage is barely 1 year, what is she hanging on please? What is old about an electronic she didn't buy with her money?

@OP, Please put that woman in her place. Such a woman does not deserve to know how, where and when you spend your hard earned money. It is your money, your property and how you use it on your brother is not her business.

If you ignore your brother, trust me another helper will locate him but one thing is certain: NOTHING is PERMANENT.

stonemasonn:
OK, as an advice to the OP in this situation where should he (the OP) work on his self?

freecocoa:
Oh! Well, sounded a lot like we were having a conversation, not restricting whenever cares to join in, of course I understand that you weren't trying to preach to me per se, my reply was just saying I share the same belief.

Don't get it twisted, like they would say, we cool bro.

cococandy:
Don't stop helping your brother please. Mtchew.

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.
Truth be told bro. You have marrried a Jezebel. U see ur wife will cause wicked hatred between you and ur family ery soon. That you married her doesnt mean you should kick out ur blood brother in need knowing fully well that ur brothers are not pushovers. its jst a little misfortune they encountered. My brother u had better cut down ur wifes wings now or watch her turn ur family into a war zone soon. You are d man n stand as a man. she shouldnt control u. Women shouldnt be given chances atal in a marriage. Put them in their righful place and position. Dnt even take some descions with her.
u had better start acting as a man early now before its too late
To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

4C2215131:


Would have couched my post in the appropriate terms to denote I was addressing anyone who cared to read but I guess I was just being lazy. Will do that henceforth even if it is in a reply to your post just so we don't get it "twisted" eh?

But this one is for you o!

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

afilaka:
I don't like ladies dat ar like that,she must be a stingy and selfish person,u shuld caution her and make her to understand dat no1 s above the trials of life n ur bro s just passing tru his bt al shall pass. Bible sayz itz more bless to give dan receive.

yemi16:


Yea..that is the only problem i have with her...but its a big one for me and i dont see myself not thinking/talking about it...i want a united and peaceful extended family...thanks for the advice though!

yemi16:


I might be soft but really i cant help it....its just 6months into our marriage, its not so easy to go real hard so early....
thanks anyway for the advice.

ifeomaekol:
Op yes u married d wrong woman simple. Our wealth shuld be used to help humanity, and if she cnt understand dt u hv to help ur brother, then she's bad. This is wat to do---- do nt tell her wen u wnt to give any of ur family member anything, jux do it on ur own. Rem dt dia is a blessing attached to those who give, my brother u dnt kw tomrw, so make sure u give as long as u hv it to give. And be careful wt her, d truth is dt u r yet to see oda characters of hers dt she hid during courtship, bt bck urself up wt prayer, d lord ll see u through.

yemi16:


I might be soft but really i cant help it....its just 6months into our marriage, its not so easy to go real hard so early....
thanks anyway for the advice.

freecocoa:
You still don't get it, there is nothing wrong with your post, I guess you have a problem with the phrase 'preaching to the choir ", you don't have to, not in this case as it's only me agreeing with you.

Also seems you don't remember quoting me with the said comment.

4C2215131:


I get it perfectly. Was just explaining to you why it may have sounded like I was addressing you given that I quoted you and made use of personal pronouns ( would have fared better using collective ones). Was just trying to make light of the whole thang. I know we're in sync (at least with regards to this palaver). Maybe I don't know how to tell a joke.

freecocoa:
Hahaha, okay then.

Seriously though, I just feel like confronting the OP's wife.

Mindfulness:
Is it the only problem you have with her? If the answer is yes, then ignore it. Go silent on her and do not even bother to think about it.
I say it because it seems to me that you two are quite comfortable and because I believe that there are situations where our siblings need and deserve our help and you are doing the needful without depriving your own family of anything necessary.

If your wife has other attributes that are pleasing you, then it is enough. Nobody is perfect.

4C2215131:


Will take the bold step some day and time dem knots but in the meantime, really doing some real research, troubleshooting and whatnot. Don't want to end up with a lemon or knucklehead for a spouse.

I'm sure given the comments, the OP sure has an idea on what to do by now. If he doesn't, its signed sealed and delivered to the cleaners for him.