jaymejate:

Guy, you don tok am finish. But barca and Chelsea no de freak me. Just be intelligent and submissive, lobatan!

drop your number make crystallss contact you.. she has those qualities already..

besides, if u dey lagos.. e don finish

lolssss

Am reading this with mouth opened,cos am surprised that someone still has sa shallow mind in this 21st century.


This isnt marriage,but slavery,its definitely a one man show directed by the dad.

Lady,quit the guy,and his myopic family,you are still young to dabble into slavery.

And note,marriage isnt an achievement.

.

honestly even Bari is not involve in this kind of arrangement....mm.

I won't be surprise if his parent asked that you both leave with them in the same house even after marriage.

stand with the scripture and here it goes

A man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave unto a woman and the two shall become one.

until he leaves, he can not cleave!!!! Period.

@23 you can achieve all that you want in your life....dont tie yourself down in the name of marriage or maybe u have dated for 5years, if it's not working it's working Period.

if all that you said is the truth, Pray about it and speedily move on!!!

Lastly this is the least time, u need fear or timidity to influence your decision. Stand firm!!!

God Guide you.

.

Crystallss:
Im scared of breaking up. What if i regret my actions later if i cant find someone else to love and by the time i realize that he already has someone else? On the other hand what if we do get married and i get angry and fustrated later in life because i couldnt meet up with my goals. I dont want to make a mistake that will hunt me the rest of my life

can I ask you something? Have you been having other suitors since dating this guy? My guess is that you don't. If that's the case, you should think of restrategising.

I love a woman like you who thinks big. If I have someone like you by my side, I will be motivated to achieve more.

So what am I implying here? If I can fall for your ambitious qualities, so are other guys out there. In present day, I can't marry a liability wherein I will be the ONLY on bringing in money for the family. Ambitious women turn me on more than sex and I am not exaggerating and if she has the beauty to match, damn, I go crazy. Which means you will always get men to fall for you. You 23 for crying out loud, you shouldn't be worrying yourself with marriage like this. If you don't have peace of mind now, is it when you get married? I don't know why we Nigerians take marriage as a do or die affair, honestly. You will guys who can barely feed themselves also getting married and thereby destroying the life of future kids when he can't cater for them.

That guy is lazy and trust me, many Church Goers who carry this thing on their head are. They always leave everything to GOD but same God say faith without work is dead. Same God gave them a brain, mind and hands to work.

I am not against having faith but I am not someone who support being lazy under the guise of serving God. God isn't lazy, God is creative, thus the birth of the world.

she will still marry him den come bk here to lament. pple will advice u to pray nd endure, bt even prayers cu not save okotie nd oyakilohmes marriages . be wise o

Crystallss:
I was just stating my concerns but was misunderstood and Required to go for 3 days deliverance which i did because i didnt want to cause any trouble.

Forgive me for laughing dear, I just couldn't help it.


Thing is, I won't advise my sister to go into a family like that, I mean 3 days deliverance for stating your concerns is silly nah.

BTW, where you delivered in the end? Seems like they ain't powerful Christians.

Another thing is that no son of a pastor will allow his wife to wear trousers, except his father's church allows it so you're never gonna win there.

Besides there are many more dresses out there that are in any way better than trousers.

What I think is that you guys should break up already, what he wants and what you want are not thesame and his father influences his decision, that is if he's not the one making all of it.

.

.

Crystallss:
i have been having marriage requests from all angle even when i was still 17yrs but i sent them all away and im still doing that cause i thought i would end up with this guy. 2 years ago i almost left him for someone i had a crush on when he asked my mum for my hand in marriage but i couldnt bring myself to leave when he hasnt done anything wrong. So i pushed the guy away until he got married to someone else after waiting for 1 year for me to change my mind. My mum and friends were angry with me though. I cant double date either. I was dedicated to my relationship

NEVER please anyone to displease yourself. Now see where this has gotten you.

One thing is certain. That guy ain't changing. I don't believe a woman has no voice in matters that involves two hearts, especially if your suggestions are for better prospects.

Above all your HAPPINESS should come FIRST in anything you do. That's one lesson a friend gave me

Op, u are young and naive .... So is he, I don't think he loves u, that's y he doesn't consider ur own decisions.... Love alone can't keep a marriage.... Respect does and I doubt if he respects u

My advice.

Pay no attention to people who will tell you that men are scarce, for you are very young.

Make a list of things you like about him and things you don't like, any list that outweighs the other... You have yourself a deal.

Lastly, listen to your inner mind and quietly go to God in prayers.

Crystallss:

I can assure you that its not money cos even with the little i make it is still more than what his dad pays him. Plus im not materialistic. I dont ask him for money or fuss about gifts. most times im the one giving gifts and recharging his phone although he tries to pay me back but i dont allow him do that.

see d kind of babe i don dey look for. I guess u ar not a Nigerian.
OP, on a very realistic note I advice u break-up with that guy who will kill ur dreams after u marry him. He will make u a full time pastor's wife and make u accepts all his decisions DOGMATICALLY.
Honestly, I wish to meet u in person.

[quote author=Crystallss post=43114759]I wanted to work in lagos or abuja as soon as i finished school and even got a job offer in lagos that pays me twice the amount i receive now but i didnt go because he wanted me to be close to him. Now i work in warri close to agbarho where he wants us to stay. Where does he stay.

Crystallss:
Im scared of breaking up. What if i regret my actions later if i cant find someone else to love and by the time i realize that he already has someone else? On the other hand what if we do get married and i get angry and fustrated later in life because i couldnt meet up with my goals. I dont want to make a mistake that will hunt me the rest of my life

Marriage is not the main priority in life.
You are just 23yrs...you got a long way to go in life,this dude is selfish and egoistic,he doesn't want your happiness but want his.

Pls sit down and think over it,marriage is an institution,its better for worst,Remember God hate divorce.

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

.

OP, notwithstanding everything that has been said here this is what will happen.

You will echo Team Nairaland's opinion to the family. Team boyfriend & family will be shocked at your decision to end the relationship. They will brand you as a 'wayward sister' who fell by the way side. They will then cajole and convince you to change your mind. You will succumb to the pressure and marry him. You will end up a shadow of yourself and may consider divorce. Boyfriend turned pastor will be shocked and his congregation will take sides against you.

Abeg free that guy jor. You have your life to live.

Allwility:
OP, notwithstanding everything that has been said here this is what will happen.

You will echo Team Nairaland's opinion to the family. Team boyfriend & family will be shocked at your decision to end the relationship. They will brand you as a 'wayward sister' who fell by the way side. They will then cajole and convince you to change your mind. You will succumb to the pressure and marry him. You will end up a shadow of yourself and may consider divorce. Boyfriend turned pastor will be shocked and his congregation will take sides against you.

Abeg free that guy jor. You have your life to live.

i did'nt want to comment but i won't hide what i heard @ church 2day in our convenant day of marital breaktrough.

If u realy love him, then u have to abide

That is called SUBMISSION!

Family planning is good though, but u hav to consider the fact dat he's gonna be d head of d house.

concertrate more on how to Try to do what would make dis relationship grow more, aftarall marraige involves

Perseverence
Endurance and alot of overlooking
Sacrificing
And in few case's sacrificing most dreams.

I know alot of pipo wont agree and then fire me wit harsh qoutes, but its just somtin u should try to put into consideration.

Hate to sound this way but the good book says:
Can two work together except they agree
#I rest my case

but seriously your borne of contention is so infinitesimal... you talk about wearing skirt to church but trousers when not in church, that means you feel the need to impress God on Sundays but don't care to impress your husband?... that's a bit of hypocrisy

sorry! your longer-throat to travel ;is it borne out the fact that he has traveled before and you want your own share?

it there anything you would archive by traveling, that you can't archive by staying back?

check your detailed desires!

.

[

Crystallss:
i respect the fact that he is going to be the head of the house and i have to sacrifice some of my dreams if we want this relationship to work. Does that mean i have to be the only one compromising just to prove that i am submissive?

Not neccesarily,

But in that case u have to make him see reasons in a calm lovely but reasonable way, but if he still refuse, u should ask urself whats the essence of the relationship but in every thing u do, dont ever listen to anyone sayin u should leave the relationship, cos they don't know how far uv'e both come and so they judge him juz 4 one lil argument, we all here dnt know him like u do.

But if u wanna go with them its also up to u

Ok. Thanks

One question to you op,

Must you marry?

Honestly to me, marriage is over-rated

skywalker240:
i did'nt want to comment but i won't hide what i heard @ church 2day in our convenant day of marital breaktrough.

If u realy love him, then u have to abide

That is called SUBMISSION!

Family planning is good though, but u hav to consider the fact dat he's gonna be d head of d house.

concertrate more on how to Try to do what would make dis relationship grow more, aftarall marraige involves

Perseverence
Endurance and alot of overlooking
Sacrificing
And in few case's sacrificing most dreams.

I know alot of pipo wont agree and then fire me wit harsh qoutes, but its just somtin u should try to put into consideration.

bros, don't annoy me. The God I know is NOT selfish and will never will be. The God I know is not selfcentered, The God I know is Not Lazy, The God I know is understanding... where does the OP's boyfriend stand in all of this?

Save the scriptures please... God gave us a brain and a mind to apply common sense.

This is how you guys use bible to decisive people. Your plan will not work here. Period

The major problem is that this girl knows the truth and what to do but she is not strong enough to do it. I can understand. 23 is the age where you feel you should already know who to settle with and you don't want to let go of this one you are sure of. My sister, I can relate.


But what must be done must be done. The marriage ceremony is just a starting point, the marriage itself is the hardest work.

Don't put yourself in a position you will regret. Don't make yourself married and frustrated. Single and developing is a much better alternative.

Crystallss:

We have been trying to settle this since last year. I even gathered the courage to talk to his dad abt it last year and he said i am just looking for excuses not to get married. This is not true. I was just stating my concerns but was misunderstood and Required to go for 3 days deliverance which i did because i didnt want to cause any trouble.

little things you ignore during courtship becomes demons in marriage, don't manage him sis, no point subjecting yourself to unnecessary stress or yoke cos u wanna become Mrs

Richiy:
The major problem is that this girl knows the truth and what to do but she is not strong enough to do it. I can understand. 23 is the age where you feel you should already know who to settle with and you don't want to let go of this one you are sure of. My sister, I can relate.


But what must be done must be done. The marriage ceremony is just a starting point, the marriage itself is the hardest work.

Don't put yourself in a position you will regret. Don't make yourself married and frustrated. Single and developing is a much better alternative.

well put. there are lots of gals gave up thier dreams jst to marry early. nd are now sad nd full of regrets. the op is not strong enuf. nd will end up marrying him. a pastor will always manipulate pple to potray u bad when d issues start

sage50:
well put. there are lots of gals gave up thier dreams jst to marry early. nd are now sad nd full of regrets. the op is not strong enuf. nd will end up marrying him

Sadly, that is what will happen. 5 years from now, she will get tired of life and accept her fate that way. Every day will be a struggle. Tufiakwa biko.