I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. We share a lot of dreams and aspirations together, we've had lots of fun as well despite our differences. She recently completed her university degree and I am hoping to propose to her immediately after her Nysc as I wouldn't like her to wear an engagement ring for too long. But that aside, I'm an extrovert while she is an introvert. Her dad is a pastor. Maybe that's why she lives a reserved and lonely lifestyle. More so, she told me she was raped 5years ago and that's how she was deflowered.
The issue here is that she hates sex. She always complains of being exhausted no matter how gentle I ride. Because of this, we barely have sex. I had thought her reason for denying me of sex most times is because we ain't legitimately married until this morning when she opened up to me and it was like the shock of my life.
She confessed she has never enjoyed any of our sexual intercourse and most times she fakes the moaning because she wants me to feel like a man and this morning, she doesn't have the energy to fake anything, if its possible for us to stay without sex that she doesn't enjoy anything that all she feels is pain. Then I asked to know if she's doing all of these because we ain't married yet. She said no that even during marriage, it will still be like dat. She began suggesting my sexual demand is too high for her and she can't take it any longer that I should go look for someone else who enjoys sex like me. Since this morning, I can't help clearing off those stuffs off my head. I don't know if the issue lies with me or her and if its me, how can I slow down my urge? And if its with her, how can I make us both reach a state of equilibrium?
Useful advise please?

The girl is sincere to you honestly.. You re even lucky that she disclosed this to you before marriage. Some ladies are like that, if you can't slow down your sexual urge as you said, I gues you look for another lady bcs the lady will not change her sexual urge. Personal opinion pls. But come u no fit endure? Is like na doctor's prescription u dey do? 3X3? If you love her go ahead and marry her.. God will help you in future. Maybe na bcs una never marry make God no allow the girl dey enjoy the cat-killing... Pastor pikin.. Chai!



Nairaland official comedian

The combination is big really;
-An intovert
-A rape victim
-A pastor's child instinct
And u an extrovert won't be able to endure it for long (most extroverts are not emotionally intelligent)

Well if u love her, count d cost. I suggest u help her with psychological therapies bcus if she continues like this, she may be a victim of puerperal psychosis after childbirth (it happens to many women with this kinda nature). She needs to be happy b4 she can be sex-loving. So anything u can do to make her really happy is what u shd do.

On the other way round, she may have said that to discharge you for another guy whose lifestyle soothes her because like I said extroverts are usually not emotionally sensitive. It only tells you that life isn't a bed of roses, many ppl are enduring in their marriages.

fall from ewedu tree... . this is what happens when your relationship is build on top sex...the gal Don do the test before going further

Are u sure she is not a lesbian.. Maybe u are having sex with a man that do transplant and look like a woman, may God save u from this dilemma...

You are the problem.

You're not giving it to her well. There's no way any human being will claim to hate good sex.

She's having pains because you want to destroy her 'unwet' punanny with your 9imches.

Bros, to find better woman marry these days is like me saying I want to win Ballon d'Or.

You guys should sit and talk. Ask her what she likes and how she likes it. Sex is a very important something. If not treated with care, it will break the marriage.

PS: I hope you didn't believe that bullshît about getting deflowered via ràpe.

Lol

It is a psychological thing, i feel she is yet to recover from the rape incident when she was 5year-old. The pain she felt then still rings in her head whenever you guys are hot-up in the mood. I will advise you stay-off sex for the main time and if need be that you must touch her, just do more of a slow deep sensual pre-intimacy and dry-humping, and try to hold yourself from sexing her. I know it might be hard but just try Bro, atleast for the main time. These will change her i can assure you.
In addition, apologize to her and let her know that you do not love her for the sex but for her beautiful heart, and promise her that you will change. Play along for the main time, and hope for a positive transformation.

#TalkingFromExperience

Like the niggar above me said...



An introvert= Usually hard to please



A pastor's daughter= Her concience that she's committing furnication wnt allow her give all in the relationship.




Then you as an extrover= You'd always be an outgoing person, you'd like exploring every part of your life, and this is one of the reason you are having problems sexually with her....




Solutio?...well, let her live her life the way she wants, take sex easily with her, it even seems she's a good girl and wife material...look for a way to put things right before you lose her to me

My bro, sex is not something we can pray about in future. It's very important in marriage, very very important. The least the Op can do is to make her enjoy sex. Maybe he's the type that's not good in pre-intimacy. Maybe he just wanna bang and release. He should make her enjoy sex and when she does she will yearn for it. #my personal view thou#

funnynation:
The girl is sincere to you honestly.. You re even lucky that she disclosed this to you before marriage. Some ladies are like that, if you can't slow down your sexual urge as you said, I gues you look for another lady bcs the lady will not change her sexual urge. Personal opinion pls. But come u no fit endure? Is like na doctor's prescription u dey do? 3X3? If you love her go ahead and marry her.. God will help you in future. Maybe na bcs una never marry make God no allow the girl dey enjoy the cat-killing... Pastor pikin.. Chai!



Nairaland official comedian

Richardonald:
Are u sure she is not a lesbian.. Maybe u are having sex with a man that do transplant and look like a woman, may God save u from this dilemma...

U are drunk

PrinceAlex001:
It is a psychological thing, i feel she is yet to recover from the rape incident when she was 5year-old. The pain she felt then still rings in her head whenever you guys are hot-up in the mood. I will advise you stay-off sex for the main time and if need be that you must touch her, just do more of a slow deep sensual pre-intimacy and dry-humping, and try to hold yourself from sexing her. I know it might be hard but just try Bro, atleast for the main time. These will change her i can assure you.
In addition, apologize to her and let her know that you do not love her for the sex but for her beautiful heart, and promise her that you will change. Play along for the main time, and hope for a positive transformation.

#TalkingFromExperience

She wasn't "ràped" when she was 5 years old. She claimed she was ràped 5 years ago. Take note, pls.

HateU2:
U are drunk

thatz how u respond to ur boyfriend brat.

sex is not for boyfriend & girlfriend

it is for husband & wife.

Stop been proud of sin.

Richardonald:
thatz how u respond to ur boyfriend brat.

Do u have to say that

OP, the problem I guess, stemmed from when she was raped!
Rape most often have debilitating effect on someone that experiences it. It is called Post traumatic stress disorder.
Discuss with her how her life was before she was raped compared to after she was raped. It will give you a clue to what is happening to her. If the rape incident is still etched in her memories anytime you want to sleep with her, then you will need to take her to mental health doctor because her thought processes has been messed up by the sexual violence she experienced. They know what to do to reassure her. Then you will do your best by making her enjoy sex. Discuss at length with her.
Sexual compatibility is sine qua non in any marriage.

A rape victim usually first react to all men as rapists and needs a professional counsellor to be weaned out of that mentality. Secondly, a lady below menopausal age should not feel pain during intercourse if the labia is well lubricated with vaginal fluid secreted during an effective fore play. So, assuming all you said are true, and you really love and desire to marry the lady, slow down on sex and address the above two issues. Her response will determine your next decision. Sex is sweet and enjoyable and should not be endured in marriage. If you can't make it, call it quit. Good luck.

HateU2:
My bro, sex is not something we can pray about in future. It's very important in marriage, very very important. The least the Op can do is to make her enjoy sex. Maybe he's the type that's not good in pre-intimacy. Maybe he just wanna bang and release. He should make her enjoy sex and when she does she will yearn for it. #my personal view thou#

i think you have a point.. Some guys are not good in making love.. All they care for is banging as the person is running away.. pre-intimacy matters.. Infact there is a level of touching and twinkling that you will give a lady she will start moaning.. Op abeg learn her weak point and the area she love while touching... No just rush to insert ur 2 by 2..



Nairaland official comedain

If she was truly raped and lost her virginity forcefully, then that says it all bro...She will find it very hard enjoying sex...I don't believe she will never enjoy sex again..that's a big lie...For her to enjoy sex, you have a lot to do Bro... I won't advise you using condoms for now (not in support of unprotected sex though but if you see yourselves as future partners and you are ready to be man and wife, do the necessary things you know will make having raw sex with her not a big deal - if you know what I mean)...Then you need to learn a lot of pre-intimacy...pre-intimacy that can get her or any lady in the mood and make her extremely wet (you'll spend sometime on pre-intimacy..No rush at all)..Ensure she's relaxed before you start pre-intimacy...Assure her that she's gonna enjoy it...Take everything slowly and make the "environment" the best for this..Make sure she is relaxed and calm all through while you do "things" to her.... Wish I could say more naughty things you could do to her but I don't wanna get banned oo......

Lasgidy1:
I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. We share a lot of dreams and aspirations together, we've had lots of fun as well despite our differences. She recently completed her university degree and I am hoping to propose to her immediately after her Nysc as I wouldn't like her to wear an engagement ring for too long. But that aside, I'm an extrovert while she is an introvert. Her dad is a pastor. Maybe that's why she lives a reserved and lonely lifestyle. More so, she told me she was raped 5years ago and that's how she was deflowered.
The issue here is that she hates sex. She always complains of being exhausted no matter how gentle I ride. Because of this, we barely have sex. I had thought her reason for denying me of sex most times is because we ain't legitimately married until this morning when she opened up to me and it was like the shock of my life.
She confessed she has never enjoyed any of our sexual intercourse and most times she fakes the moaning because she wants me to feel like a man and this morning, she doesn't have the energy to fake anything, if its possible for us to stay without sex that she doesn't enjoy anything that all she feels is pain. Then I asked to know if she's doing all of these because we ain't married yet. She said no that even during marriage, it will still be like dat. She began suggesting my sexual demand is too high for her and she can't take it any longer that I should go look for someone else who enjoys sex like me. Since this morning, I can't help clearing off those stuffs off my head. I don't know if the issue lies with me or her and if its me, how can I slow down my urge? And if its with her, how can I make us both reach a state of equilibrium?
Useful advise please?

If she was truly raped and lost her virginity forcefully, then that says it all bro...She will find it very hard enjoying sex...I don't believe she will never enjoy sex again..that's a big lie...For her to enjoy sex, you have a lot to do Bro... I won't advise you using condoms for now (not in support of unprotected sex though but if you see yourselves as future partners and you are ready to be man and wife, do the necessary things you know will make having raw sex with her not a big deal - if you know what I mean)...Then you need to learn a lot of pre-intimacy...pre-intimacy that can get her or any lady in the mood and make her extremely wet (you'll spend sometime on pre-intimacy..No rush at all)..Ensure she's relaxed before you start pre-intimacy...Assure her that she's gonna enjoy it...Take everything slowly and make the "environment" the best for this..Make sure she is relaxed and calm all through while you do "things" to her.... Wish I could say more naughty things you could do to her but I don't wanna get banned oo......

Truth is u can't Fvck.. N she just told u. Release that girl now put for surulere make bad guy catch her now, my dear, story go change o.
U need to work on ur sexual skills, how to please a woman in bed n many more, it ain't all about hitting d boobs n next kitty, there is more to it, try other stunts, she go melt,
No b me type am o.

ellechrystal:
Truth is u can't Fvck.. N she just told u. Release that girl now put for surulere make bad guy catch her now, my dear, story go change o.
U need to work on ur sexual skills, how to please a woman in bed n many more, it ain't all about hitting d boobs n next kitty, there is more to it, try other stunts, she go melt,
No b me type am o.

Hmmmmmmmm! Sombody need more training.. abeg u fit teach me skills?
.




Nairaland official comedian