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Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? - Romance - Nairaland

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Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by bondxie(f): 3:19pm On Nov 08, 2006
Is it quite advisable to Kip your ex-lover as friend?
Cos I ve a load of them as friend after break-up and
nw my partner doesnt feel comfortable wiv it . As
for me i dnt c anytin wrong in it but i guess i have to
toll the line of my partner cos i want er happiness
and mind you,am about walkin dwn the aisle wiv er.

What is your opinion?
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by Free(f): 8:37pm On Nov 08, 2006
well
yes maybe they are not good boyfriend/girlfrnd
but maybe a goof frnd
i think theres no harm in keepin em as a friend grin
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by ima1(f): 9:54pm On Nov 08, 2006
No because they are exes for a reason, and u shouldn't impose them on your new partner, its just wrong, if i stay friends with my ex, it will be on a HI - HELLO basis
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by Free(f): 10:09pm On Nov 08, 2006
ermm just cuz dey was ur ex- dont mean noting
it dnt mean ya'll cnt be good friends still grin
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by Nikegenius(f): 9:07am On Nov 09, 2006
Yeah, keep dem as friends but plsssssssssss, not too close for ur patmers comfort. She knows wot ladies are capable of doing so i understand her view. Just friends is OK for me. gives me a chance to let em know i have the best thing they cldnt handle.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by ThoniaSlim(f): 10:01am On Nov 09, 2006
nope cause in such situation its really hard to consider your ex a friend.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by bondxie(f): 2:05pm On Nov 10, 2006
Hey guys! Where are U at?
Ur opinion count tooooooooo.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by kingjoe(m): 3:06pm On Nov 10, 2006
noo, dont keep them as friends but neither as enemies. i tried to keep but when i had a flashback on the good times and found her more beautiful than before ,i fell.we are humans .especially when you separated for trivial reasons
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by candylips(m): 3:20pm On Nov 10, 2006
u can be friends if you are both comfortable with it
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by iice(f): 3:50pm On Nov 10, 2006
candylips:

u can be friends if you are both comfortable with it

Yup true that. Most of my ex are my friends, we still yan and gist till today.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by sweetlinda(f): 4:22pm On Nov 10, 2006
i think it a good idea but a fresh ex of mine cant be my friend thats for sure. i ll hate him too much for a friend
but give years i
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by Freestyl(m): 4:46pm On Nov 10, 2006
I think i'ts a welcome idea but depends on how good u people were
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by LoverBwoy(m): 6:27pm On Nov 10, 2006
Theres nothing wrong with having them as your friend especially if you broke up amicably

But you shouldnt be seeing/visiting them as frequently as before, no long chat on the phone at night wink


Just explain to your wifey theres nothing there anymore cool
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by joyblinks(f): 6:41pm On Nov 10, 2006
as for me, there is no need keeping them as friends, because i feel anything can happen at anytime. u can make other friends elsewhere but not with ur ex.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by tochi(f): 6:49pm On Nov 10, 2006
Absolutely not! Because your ex once had a spot in your heart, you will always be vulnerable around them whether you believe it or not. Besides your ex should not have a place in your present relationship at all!

1 Like

Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by jydoh(m): 8:43pm On Nov 10, 2006
It is not bad, & It is also bad.

It is not bad b'cuz, u're now friends & nothing more is expected. U just talk 2 each other without attaching any feelings to it. grin grin wink wink


It is bad b'cuz, "once a soldier alwz a soldier", wheneva u're unknwingly too close & with ample privacy, u expct anything to happen based on the fact that "we aint stranger to each other, so lets just assume we got no feelings but we are both in the mood." it simply means somebody somewhere is been cheated. shocked shocked shocked

NB: U find urslf discussing freely ur present relationship, thereby making COMPARISM. i'm talking 4rm my little experience about it

So the choice is urs to keep. wink wink wink
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by dennylove(m): 11:40pm On Nov 10, 2006
NO, don't keep ur ex lover as friend.no reason.ok,because the WONDERFUL feeling both of you had before might come back.
so don't ever never TRY IT.  shocked shocked shocked cry cry shocked shocked
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by chumas(m): 5:50am On Nov 11, 2006
I don't see anything wrong with having your ex as a friend. However if ur current partner is uncomfortable with it then I suggest you keep them at arms length. I will not advice u to have anyone as ur enemy, u never know who might help u some day. I once missed a connecting flight in Maryland and had to rely on my ex. She picked me from BWI (airport) and took me back to board my flight in the morning. U never know where u might need some one. If u however have some strong feelings for that person and u know it, then please DO NOT GO THERE!!!
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by CheeMoney(m): 9:00am On Nov 11, 2006
For real o, everything is bad about it lets face the fact. Just friends line is an excuse for either the guy or the lady to want to eat their cake and still have it and also cheat on their partner. I have loads of experience on that. You once had a thing going reall good and for one reason or the other you both walked ways andit  could even be for a flimsy reason. the point I'm trying to make here is that, the ex-factor doesn't stop the old flame from being ignited giving a favourable condition. Except that condition never presented itself.

People, say the truth. I know some folks in here has done it for old time sake. Spill the beans people   smiley wink

But I no go lie o. Its soooooooooooooo sweet because it provide you a good time with someone your heart once or still melts for but this time with no strings attached.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by Nobody: 12:25pm On Nov 11, 2006
.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by osegwu(m): 12:36pm On Nov 12, 2006
There is nothing wrong with it if the intentions are pure and honourable.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by rhamz: 10:26pm On Nov 12, 2006
as long as u play safe & let d past be then there will be so much more u can achieve 2gether wink.but mind u it will take d grace of God 2 fight d temptations,
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by katherinae(f): 1:31am On Nov 13, 2006
now bodxie

at 30 i dont think u should even be asking that question ok. u know very very well that u shouldnt keep them whether or not u have a gazillion chiquitos or not do ya hear me. so throw away that little black book wink or donate it to some of ur guy friends who are less shall i say lucky. since they arent married yet.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by bondxie(f): 11:23am On Nov 13, 2006
@ katherine,
i ve spell it out clearly that i dnt c anytin wrong in it and
i guess it is not that bad to seek for opinion.So no vex if
we dnt share the same tots.
Anywa, thx all d same,
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by diyobdw(f): 9:56am On Nov 15, 2006
No quams at all i still got intact communication with my ex'(s).

Guidelines:
Dont:
share intimate gist about your current relationships
run to them when my relationship has issues
get friendly when they are with other girls
no physicals- at least not more than handshakes, hugs & pecks

Do:
Get over the relationship
Ensure you are on the same level of understanding -the past is in the past
Be understanding
Be blunt!
Keep them close enough because they just might come in handy grin you got nothing to lose
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by babadee(m): 5:45pm On Nov 15, 2006
@diyobdw
wells said!!!
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by Radiant(f): 7:39pm On Nov 15, 2006
It all depends on how we broke up. My current r/ship can't determine who I keep as a friend!

If my partner starts getting uncomfortable with my friends, then he might want to make another decision. My friends are more important to me than just a single guy. Except I'm married, then I can adjust a bit.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by CrazyMan(m): 8:48pm On Nov 15, 2006
I don't advise that.
both of you have once dated so anything is bound to
happen. if you've got another lover, stick to that person.
concerning your past lover, you can still be friends, but avoid any form
of contact such as phone calls and unnecessary discussions,
co's anything can happen. you might just wake up one day and fine him/her
so charming and you won't be able to control yourself.
it happens we are all humans
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by angeltolly(f): 12:26pm On Nov 16, 2006
grin YEAH .Nothing is wrong with it. smiley.IT SHOW UR MATURITY. YOU dont have to bone eachother 'cos of the heartbreak
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by iice(f): 12:58pm On Nov 16, 2006
It depends on how you guys broke up, what were your feelings during the relationship and what were your feelings after breaking up but importantly its knowing yourself.
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by naija4life(f): 1:07pm On Nov 16, 2006
Dating an ex pal is very bad news. It brings back fond memories and gives room for comparison. Run away from it as fast as you can. undecided Know coz been there cry
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend? by choco4life(m): 2:44am On Nov 17, 2006
u cud b walking on a tight rope so beware,

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