K

One danger of total communication collapse is inevitable separation. However I would still advise you to resist the temptation of calling him when he is away because he appears to be taking advantage of an emotionally weak doting wife who can't stay a day without him. When you display this emotional resilience, he will feel threatened and that would make him fear that you are up to something. Note, you must keep reviewing the effectiveness of this phase one strategy so you don't weaken your relationship with him even further.

Now, go put it to test and come back with your testimony. All the best!

My sister dont stop calling cuz he doesn't.You need to learn to give love even when its not reciprocated.
I assure u that with prayer he will change and love changes people .

The Guy might have another Wife over there, that's why he stops every form of communication... Just take it as your own Thorn in the flesh. Play by his rule and pray God turns his heart.

You sure he doesn't have another family?

Your husband has another wife,

What kind of a spouse does not pick a call when they are away, just prepare for a polygamy family.

Husbands are supposed to pick calls any hours of the night you call them when they are away, please have a conversation with him,

I have a friend whose husband used to go on this business trips not picking the phone, until my friend found out he had promised another woman marriage and already had a baby with her, apparently when my friend would think he had gone out of town she came to discover he was just a few blocks from their house at another woman's house.

K

item4biz:
Thanks for your comments but it's hard to believe he has another family cos he usually travel on official trip which I confirm too, not his personal business trips. And these trips are to different places within or outside. There are atimes I call his colleagues he travel with to know they are doing well and atimes I call their manager.

Am really thinking of going by Wisebully's advise, I want to stop calling him whenever he is away. Let it be both ways. He has gone today and haven't talked to him to know he is doing fine. I called and called and no response
response

This is very bad.

Not even a message? I am going to hurt him badly. I will go to a friend's place to sleep over or rent a hotel and sleep over the day he will be coming back. My phones will be off. Will doo this for two days, by then he won't be able to keep quiet and family will be involved. Then, I will open up to all his misdeeds.

He must stop or I stop him.

Babe do what you believe is best, not calling him doesn't mean that your are a bad wife , praying till sky daddy comes will not solve your problem, but applying sense on your husband will definitely make him sit up.

If he complains , I suggest you answer him politely that you wanted to think about the next step to take when he is ready to leave you for another woman(divorce) because you feel that is what he's trying to do, maybe he is tired of having you as his wife and he should let you know on time, So that you can move on. I believe he will be alarmed and behave himself.

Some men can be childish ( mean)

item4biz:
Thanks for your comments but it's hard to believe he has another family cos he usually travel on official trip which I confirm too, not his personal business trips. And these trips are to different places within or outside. There are atimes I call his colleagues he travel with to know they are doing well and atimes I call their manager.

Am really thinking of going by Wisebully's advise, I want to stop calling him whenever he is away. Let it be both ways. He has gone today and haven't talked to him to know he is doing fine. I called and called and no response. This is very bad.

Not even a message? I am going to hurt him badly. I will go to a friend's place to sleep over or rent a hotel and sleep over the day he will be coming back. My phones will be off. Will doo this for two days, by then he won't be able to keep quiet and family will be involved. Then, I will open up to all his misdeeds.

He must stop or I stop him.

Madam, let's start and stick strictly with the no-call strategy for now. Please don't import anger it into. It is not yet time to move out or switch off your phone. Either of these should not be part of plan A. Your phone needs to be on to assess the success of this plan. Let's not worsen it by acting out everything at once. Marital issues are resolved step by step and with immense wisdom. As I said before, first let's wait and see the outcome of step one. The outcome will determine what to do next.

Your marriage isn't the only one gasping for air. You are just one of the few who are bold enough to speak out. Involving either family isn't a completely bad idea but it could worsen it.

Not between a waka waka ajala the traveller,mr waka about.I guess you give him to much fried chicken legs that's why he cannot stay at home

Madam, I think you should find something doing.

Be more involved in your personal development. Do you have kids yet? When you have free time e.g kids in school, join a language school, or a sewing school, or go and learn bead making.

You'll be surprised how busy you can get and time will fly that you won't even remember you've not called anyone.

You can even start your own business just from a hobby like bead making

Find something doing if you're not. An idle mind must get worried.

maybe he takes someone along on such trips coz I don't understand such attitudes. if I were u,I wld first get a job dt wld keep me busy, then on any of such his trips, I wld ensure I don't call, d nite am sure he is coming home,I wld take an overnight bag,go sleep in his own ppl's place. if he calls, u won't pick then next day watch out for his reaction!

K9blunt:



Babe do what you believe is best, not calling him doesn't mean that your are a bad wife , praying till sky daddy comes will not solve your problem, but applying sense on your husband will definitely make him sit up.

If he complains , I suggest you answer him politely that you wanted to think about the next step to take when he is ready to leave you for another woman(divorce) because you feel that is what he's trying to do, maybe he is tired of having you as his wife and he should let you know on time, So that you can move on. I believe he will be alarmed and behave himself.

Some men can be childish ( mean)

mmmmhhhhh!

Qualer:




mmmmhhhhh!

Ogini

I'm asking cus even men that take their sugar girls along excuse themselves and call their wives, speak to their children and even do morning devotion via phone. So I'm wondering....

Swty, don't do that, stop hurting urself becos of ur hubby. Now do this........ If u ve kids focus on them, show them love dat dey would wish their father not to be bck, love urself, stop calling him, delete ur previous calls, chat, msg u had wit him. In ur mind he doesn't exist, go out with ur children, party around ve some fun with friends, if he calls u pick up and be mean like saying how can I help u, wen he's done, delete d call chat.
Jst be happy wit urself and children and avoid being idle for anything. Despite all these don't forget to include him in ur prayers, cos he's still ur husband. Gracias.

WiseBully:
One danger of total communication collapse is inevitable separation. However I would still advise you to resist the temptation of calling him when he is away because he appears to be taking advantage of an emotionally weak doting wife who can't stay a day without him. When you display this emotional resilience, he will feel threatened and that would make him fear that you are up to something. Note, you must keep reviewing the effectiveness of this phase one strategy so you don't weaken your relationship with him even further.

Now, go put it to test and come back with your testimony. All the best!

You are dead without Allah, get it?

.

daretodiffer:


You are dead without Allah, get it?

Why is my signature threatening your peace? You must be deeply worried in your inner being. Jesus is the only Way!

WiseBully:


Why is my signature threatening your peace? You must be deeply worried in your inner being. Jesus is the only Way!

Is my post threatening your peace? You must be deeply worried in your inner being. Allah is the only Way!

item4biz:
Thank you all for your advise

Well, those who says I should get busy, am a very busy person. A career woman with two kids! Noo idle time for me. No matter how busy you are, your family should still be numbe one hence reason why I get worried while he is away and doesn't call.

Your husband is slipping away

I am sorry but I strongly believe that he is cheating

item4biz:
Thanks for your comments but it's hard to believe he has another family cos he usually travel on official trip which I confirm too, not his personal business trips. And these trips are to different places within or outside. There are atimes I call his colleagues he travel with to know they are doing well and atimes I call their manager.

Am really thinking of going by Wisebully's advise, I want to stop calling him whenever he is away. Let it be both ways. He has gone today and haven't talked to him to know he is doing fine. I called and called and no response. This is very bad.

Not even a message? I am going to hurt him badly. I will go to a friend's place to sleep over or rent a hotel and sleep over the day he will be coming back. My phones will be off. Will doo this for two days, by then he won't be able to keep quiet and family will be involved. Then, I will open up to all his misdeeds.

He must stop or I stop him.

If you have enough guts to pull this off, do it. It either gets better or worse,it's bad enough already.

item4biz:
Thank you all for your advise

What is your relationship like when he's home? I believe an evaluation needs to begin from this point.

item4biz:
Helloo nl family. Been a member here but decided to use this my new handle to post this thing that trouble my heart.

My marriage will be six years by august. Since I have been married to my husband, whenever he travel he doesn't look back. He won't call, text, ping or do any form of contact. When I call he won't pick, whenever he picks he hurry the call and query my calls to be too much.

His job takes him out of town alot, either out of the country or within. On both movement, doesn't call to say oh I had a safe trip and am doing fine.

In 2014, he cheated on me for over two months he was away. I had a UTI when I travled to see him and we met. It was a bad time for me cos I had to be placed on anti biotics. I complain of him not calling and he keeps doing the same.

Please how do I stop calling him whenever he travel? I don't want him to ever see my number on his phone again whenever he travel, this I know will hurt him and make him change. How do I discipline myself to never call him whenever he is away?

Am in tears now, I don't ever like this his attitude, how will a man not call his wife to know how the home he left behind is doing whenever he is out of town?

I'm laughing cos am guilty of same thing. Not the adultery part though. Sorry about that. It's just a habit of ours. When I leave the house I barely remember my family at home. It doesnt mean I don't love them, I just don't remember to call. Have had many a fight with wifey over this matter and over the years I make a note to remind me to call in the evenings. That's how I solved my own. You can suggest it to him.

From experience I find it's hard when u try and change what is naturally good in you so you can spite the other person(your spouse) . I've tried denying my wife certain things to try and teach her how it hurts when she doesn't care. But in the end I'm the one that hurts. She doesnt notice what I do cos sheshe is not used to such gestures or maybe she doesn't care, I don't know.

I don't think you should harden your heart and stop calling him. Calling him is not for him, it's for you. You do it so you can feel better not for him. So I say continue the calling, continue the checking up, it's your nature and you'll be better off not carrying a chip in your shoulder. Keep reminding him to call and flash at particular times of the day so that eventually he learns to expect a call from you at so and so time and if he doesn't he will call back to find out what is happening. My wife did this for me persitently and it eventually worked. Now if I'm away and I don't hear my phone. Ring by 7pm I panic and start calling back Husband and wife can never have the exact same nature during marriage. Learnt that the hard way. Cheer up.

It's amazing how some people respond to simple marriage issues though. Not everyone marries monsters. Imperfect people yes, but not monsters. Marriage is not all about cheating and divorce. Thank God Op has confirmed her husband's whereabouts this time else some people would have poisoned her mind by now.

@item4biz.
I am trying to understand how you feel.
But calm down.
Don't try to hurt him by not calling.
Wish him a safe trip and believe that he is safe wherever he is.
See it like going to a shop where beans is sold but you want rice,rice will never be there so why keep going to the beans shop?
I hope you get my point?
Stop calling him if he is not ok with it.
But let it not come as a dark cloud in your marriage.
See it as something normal.
What you can't change,you make peace with.
Don't let this thing get to the tiniest hair on your skin (if you are the hairy type...just kidding).
Let it go...use your airtime and quiet time for something that will benefit your family.
Don't stop loving your hubby and don't try getting even...you don't need the negative energy.
Go get your nails done.
Eyes done.
Get a tummy tuck (kidding)

Be happy joooo.
Life na jeje!

veave:
I'm asking cus even men that take their sugar girls along excuse themselves and call their wives, speak to their children and even do morning devotion via phone. So I'm wondering....

Oluwa Ku Suuuru

item4biz:
Thank you all for your advise

Well, those who says I should get busy, am a very busy person. A career woman with two kids! Noo idle time for me. No matter how busy you are, your family should still be numbe one hence reason why I get worried while he is away and doesn't call.

If you believe that he is not cheating then please put your mind at rest

My husband is the opposite and calls me like 6 times a day, even though we saw in the morning.
Sometimes he calls and says he has forgotten what he wanted to tell me
When we are apart, as he is calling me, he is calling the people around me ....confusion all around. Phones just keep ringing.
I have fallen down the stairs before running, to pick up the house phone after he called my mobile and I didn't pick up on time.
So my dear it can go the other extreme as well. Although to be honest I prefer calls to not being called at all.

So do Have a chat with him as its upsetting you
Tell him to set an alarm to call you at a specific time every day
You are right, its sensible and expected for the head of the home to check in to see how his family is doing and speak to the children whist he is away.

Dont stop calling him please as that will put in more gaps in an already stressed relationship. You may also agree a time everyday to pray together over the phone. That will force him to call you/speak to you everyday. It will also remind him of home

Also when you do call him, talk to him about positive things, what the kids did in school, funny things they did etc. . .in short things that will make him miss home.

K

RiloKiley:




I'm laughing cos am guilty of same thing. Not the adultery part though. Sorry about that. It's just a habit of ours. When I leave the house I barely remember my family at home. It doesnt mean I don't love them, I just don't remember to call. Have had many a fight with wifey over this matter and over the years I make a note to remind me to call in the evenings. That's how I solved my own. You can suggest it to him.

From experience I find it's hard when u try and change what is naturally good in you so you can spite the other person(your spouse) . I've tried denying my wife certain things to try and teach her how it hurts when she doesn't care. But in the end I'm the one that hurts. She doesnt notice what I do cos sheshe is not used to such gestures or maybe she doesn't care, I don't know.

I don't think you should harden your heart and stop calling him. Calling him is not for him, it's for you. You do it so you can feel better not for him. So I say continue the calling, continue the checking up, it's your nature and you'll be better off not carrying a chip in your shoulder. Keep reminding him to call and flash at particular times of the day so that eventually he learns to expect a call from you at so and so time and if he doesn't he will call back to find out what is happening. My wife did this for me persitently and it eventually worked. Now if I'm away and I don't hear my phone. Ring by 7pm I panic and start calling back Husband and wife can never have the exact same nature during marriage. Learnt that the hard way. Cheer up.

Not only does her hubby not call, he doesn't pick up her own calls and when he does pick, is very eager to end the conversation.

In any case, I think men or women who behave like OP's husband and yourself are inherently selfish . . . You leave a human being at home to run the family, including kids, and you don't bother to call to see how she's coping.

I guess probably you think your so-called job is more important and takes priority over the well-being of your family.

I wound never date, much less marry a man with no regards for my feelings. I see you are taking this lightly, but it's no joking matter!!!

I travel for work too, just like my hubby and most times I'm on the road, he's back home with our kids . . . I don't call him for 'me' but for him to feel that I'm still with them, even if I'm in another continent. No matter how busy I am, my family is my priority.

Time for men to drop the God-complex, it's getting redundant!

Ujoan:


Not only does her hubby not call, he doesn't pick up her own calls and when he does pick, is very eager to end the conversation.

In any case, I think men or women who behave like OP's husband and yourself are inherently selfish . . . You leave a human being at home to run the family, including kids, and you don't bother to call to see how she's coping.

I guess probably you think your so-called job is more important and takes priority over the well-being of your family.

I wound never date, much less marry a man with no regards for my feelings. I see you are taking this lightly, but it's no joking matter!!!

I travel for work too, just like my hubby and most times I'm on the road, he's back home with our kids . . . I don't call him for 'me' but for him to feel that I'm still with them, even if I'm in another continent. No matter how busy I am, my family is my priority.

Time for men to drop the God-complex, it's getting redundant!

I would have never married a stuck-up humourless nagging woman like yourself either. So you see, we would have never met.