First, before we get into this, I’d like to say that I don’t agree with the term “friendzone” at all. The friendzone is something that was made up so people could complain when someone doesn’t like them enough to date them. The "friendzone" makes this person seem like the victim, when really, no one has an obligation to be physically attracted to anyone else in that way!

But, for lack of a better term, we used it here, because it was used in this Reddit thread. It’s all about why guys will keep girls as friends, but won’t take the relationship to the next level. Of course, what it comes down to that is the guy just isn’t interested in the girl in that way – and that’s okay, he doesn’t have to be. But it’s still interesting to find out what keeps a guy from wanting to be your boyfriend. So, why won’t he date you, but he’ll be friends with you? Here are 12 reasons he friendzones you.

1. He Just Doesn't See You In A Sexual Way
If she has too much of a friend/innocent personality. Even if I find a girl attractive, I might not think of her in a sexual way if her personality makes her seem more like a sister.
I get this. I've had guy friends who I think are awesome - smart, funny, great personality, cute - but I just don't see them in that way. I don't know why. It's just not there.

2. He Thinks You're Obnoxious
For me it's not just being ugly like everyone here says. I've hooked up with some girls before who were not exactly what I would call the prettiest. Thinking back on the times I put a girl in the friendzone, it was just that I just got too much of a bad vibe from her. Sure attractiveness plays a role in catching and holding my interest, but there have been plenty of cute girls that I just wasn't interested in romantically. This is because they were either annoying, obnoxious, were trying waaay too hard, or were just plain boring. I like to think I have a colorful personality and if the girl can't match that in anyway, we can be friends, but I'm not gonna date her or risk getting too complicated and involved by hooking up.

Makes sense, to be honest.

3. He Doesn't Love Your Personality For A Girlfriend
I'll go against the norm and say that I've had sex with a girl multiple times and then ended up friend zoning her. She was easily one of the most attractive women I have ever been with but she spoke to me like my guy friends do. I very much enjoyed hanging out with her but I didn't want to pursue anything romantic because of how "bro" her personality was.

Sometimes, it's the other way around: he thinks you're attractive, but he doesn't see you two fitting together well in a relationship because of your personality. So, he keeps things at a friendship level.

4. You Went Out With His Friend
She went out with or goes out with a friend of mine. Or I'm not attracted to her.

This answer popped up more than once. A lot of guys aren't interested in dating a girl who has been with their friend.

5. He's Not Ready For A Commitment
Guy may not be ready for relationship. I feel pretty bad about this one. A girl said she liked me, and I was completely surprised by it. I kinda led her on for a while, but then I realized I was just not ready for any kind if relationship. We're still friends.

I don't really buy this... I think he's just not ready for a commitment with you. If a guy really likes you, he'll be ready.

6. He Thinks You're Not Interested
If she says she's not looking for a relationship, I just "bro-zone" her immediately in my head. Respect people's wishes.

See? Lying to try to play it cool will backfire.

7. The Spark Isn't There
You know that feeling you get when you just know he/she's the one? Yeah, that's not there. Or she's already taken.

You know the spark. You know it when you feel it. And if it's not there, there's just no faking it.

8. He Doesn't Want To Ruin The Friendship
There is only one woman that I would never consider getting with because I consider them too close a friend and would never do anything that could jeopardise that, even though they are good looking.

It sounds like a lame excuse, but I guess it's true sometimes.

9. He's Shy and Nervous
I friend-zone everyone because I lack the confidence in myself to make a move.

Well, that seems a little silly, but I guess we've all been there.

10. The Friendzone Doesn't Even Exist
I think the whole friend/bro-zone thing is a misnomer created by young (chronologically or mentally) people who don't understand how "real" relationships work. Ideally you meet a person, have common interests/ideas and build a friendship, if there is mutual attraction this friendship can evolve into a romantic relationship. People who don't get this concept want to skip the friendship portion and jump right into a romantic relationship, and when this feeling isn't reciprocated, but the other person does enjoy your company and wants to hang out, then they are "friend/bro-zoned" in their opinion.

11. He's Not Attracted To You
Not being attracted to her. There's no way to really quantify that, it's just a simple want/don't want.

Sometimes, it's simple - it's about attraction, which is the thing that can make a platonic relationship into something more intimate. If it's not there, it's not there.

12. Basically...
If a man is physically attracted to a woman and likes her personality, he LTRs her. If a man is physically attracted to a woman and does not like her personality, he has a ONS with her. If a man is not physically attracted to a woman and likes her personality, he friendzones her. If a man is not physically attracted to a woman and does not like her personality, then hopefully he cuts contact with her because I see no benefit for the man in such a relationship. I am generalizing here, but more or less if you ask men this is true.

Seems pretty accurate - just like what females do.

13. Add your own too jor or like post

Ok

Individual's preference.

I remember friendzoning one fyn Folake babe dah year because of reason no.9.... I am still regretting that decision now wey I don man up

Okay enjoy your five min excitement of friendzoning one girl in 5yrs.

chriskosherbal:
Individual's preference.

what's your own preference jor?

Stupedinluv:
Okay enjoy your five min excitement of friendzoning one girl in 5yrs.

The problem is most friendzoned gals are Ugly whereas u see fyn niggas in friendzone! Guys don suffer let us celebrate our Five mins abeg

I dey fuel queue dey look una

Section8:
The problem is most friendzoned gals are Ugly whereas u see fyn niggas in friendzone! Guys don suffer let us celebrate our Five mins abeg

Carry go

Guys always talks about being stuck in the friend zone, like a hot girl flirts with you and treats you like a boyfriend only she doesn’t put out and she just sort of uses you, and tells you that you are just her friend. Well did you know that there is the reciprocal of that for females? Being stuck in the female friend zone sucks, i agree, but please don’t think that girls are the only ones who do it. Males do it all the time. Especially to unattractive girls, i.e. fat, ugly, socially awkward, emotionally unstable, geeky, afterwards referred to as “candidates.” It’s not as common as the female friend zone, in which 90% of women unspokenly participate in, but it still exists. The male friend zone is usually only employed by a certain type of male, underneath certain circumstances, being utilized by about 30% of the male populace. Of those 30%, certain qualifications and standards must be set.

If a man is an asshole, he will usually not bother with the friend zone, and just tell the candidate that she is not his type, or tell her the truth that he is not interested nor drunk enough to even rethink that decision. Assholes don’t have a friend zone. They have categories like datable, fuckable, or desirable. If you do not fall into one of those categories, an asshole will let you know. And you will not associate with him after a classification has been reached. 25-30% of men are assholes.

If a man is not an asshole, and he is a genuinely good person, he will place a female in the friend zone. He may not even realize he is doing it, or he may be keeping his options open for an especially drunken night, or maybe it’s because she is his best friends cousins little sister, but either way, good guys friend zone. Good guys are the best and worst at the friend zone for females. They treat the candidate as if she were a girlfriend, open car doors for her, buy her dinner, confide in her, call/text her all the time, and treat her like an actual male friend. This can be confusing for the candidate. The one true way to tell if a girl is being friend zoned is if the good guy talks about other girls with her. A good guy will not talk about other girls with a girl he is interested in sleeping with, because subconsciously he has had that argument too many times and his instinctual brain steps in and stops his abysmally open mouth from running/working when a hot female is present. If a good guy does not think of you as dateable, fuckable, or desirable, he will share information about other girls that he thinks are dateable, fuckable, or desirable. It has taken me 30 years to understand this.

What men don’t seem to understand about women, yes even women that friend zone guys, is that in the same way that men conceive every person they meet to be a potential sex object, women do the same. However, we are more selective and/or realistic about it. I mean if a woman is rich, drop dead gorgeous, or has a killer body and knows she can get any man, then she doesn’t need to worry about the male friend zone. But if she has any defects whatsoever, she needs to be aware. Being placed in the male friend zone is awkward, in the same way that being placed in the female friend zone can be. When a woman is in the male friend zone, he treats her with respect, is conscious and thoughtful when it comes to her well being and emotions. He is overly nice to her, and praises her above any booty call, or even his best friend. He talks about her a lot, namely to make other women jealous, but when they meet her, they know ultimately what she does not, that she is in the male friend zone.

It is hard to be in the male friend zone because women read so much more into relationships than men. Most men just want to get their dicks wet, with the hottest pussy around. Most women want men that treat them respectfully and can still rock their worlds. Being hot helps too. It’s like, every woman will fake an orgasm to have a relationship, and every male will fake a relationship to have an orgasm. Tough stuff. So when a really hot good guy is nice to the candidate, she lights up and beams, and her expectations skyrocket. She cannot understand why he is treating her this way, unless he wants to be in a long term committed relationship? I mean, what if i’m the one that he wants to be with? What if he’s the one man among all the douchebags that will prove them all wrong? What if we can live together and happily ever after and all the myths about faking relationships or just wanting pussy are wrong?

They are not. Even good guys have needs. Good guys, when they friend zone a candidate, still want what every male wants. I mean, a woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. It’s a total struggle with both sides fighting for different goals. Men get suckered in and compromise in order to be in relationships. If a woman is really hot he’ll marry her. If a woman will put out all the time, he’ll marry her. But if things go south, and not in a good way, he’ll leave her. These are the things i’ve learned about men over the years. They only reiterate my points, but I digress, so back to the male friend zone.

It really bothers me when I see posts about girls friendzoning men. They carry their books, they serve as step stools, they take them out to dinner and pose for a picture and the girl will comment at the bottom “OMG! It looks like we’re on a date!” Because she wants to subtly/obviously let you know that you are not going to get anywhere with her. (unless you get her drunk and break that barrier, but that is uncouth.) Whereas, being in the male friend zone, you have no chance, ever. I mean, maybe if you were the last girl on earth, and he the last man, and there were no sheep or satin sheets or warm towels…. maybe. But probably not.

Being in the male friend zone, he treats you better than his girlfriend, but you can’t have his dick. He introduces you to his family, and they give you shady looks cuz you are not like the girls he normally dates, and they are wondering if he’s gone insane, but in actuality, you know, deep down, that he is silently mocking you. Here’s my best friend so-n-so, I love her, she’s amazing! But, everyone knows, that there is no hanky panky going on. That the candidate is not up to par in some way.

And you just have to deal with it. You just have to suck up the buttercups and smile and nod and pretend that you don’t know where you are at, but deep down inside, you do. You realize finally that he has absolutely no sexual interest in you whatsoever, and that you are just there to be his wingman, his link to the other sex, his confidant and friend. And sometimes, that’s ok. But tell the bitch that at the beginning! She doesn’t want to waste her time on you if you are not going to be worth it! I’m sure that goes both ways, but at least a man in the friend zone has a shot in the dark every once in a while. A girl in the friend zone probably couldn’t get you drunk enough to break the barrier. Ok maybe, but that’s rare.

In conclusion, the male friend zone exists, and being stuck in it sucks much worse than the female friend zone, but is less talked about because it does not happen as frequently, because most men are assholes. Oh, and nowadays, many members of each sex are gay and this is not necessarily applicable. But we shouldn’t have to worry about that too much in future generations, since, well, you know, it’s kinda hard to breed with same sex couples...