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The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Sconty09(m): 3:30pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
It was at the church service for the 90th birthday of the legendary matriarch of the Awo dynasty Chief Dr Hannah Dideolu Awolowo in Ikenne that the thoughts that prompted this article began. Some well known highly placed gentlemen and their wives were called upon to partake in the wine sipping, bread breaking ritual called Holy Communion. As soon as these respectable ladies and gentlemen, all of them past age 70, and amongst whom were renowned professors, high court judges, legal luminaries and business moguls, finished their spiritual blessing and were returning to their seats, they caught a pitiable sight in their over-flowing garb of hypocrisy. They wore forlorn mien plastered with furrowed frowned faces like some one afflicted with putrid smell of heavy dose of fart. They looked as if they were mourning a three-year-old boy mistakenly killed by his own father, or the passing of a poor woman who has just succumbed to excruciatingly painful cancer. They clung to their wives as if they were newly wedded. I temporarily forgot that I was in a holy church, the spiritual enclave of Christians. I almost laughed my head off because I knew each of the ‘holy’ ‘monogamous’ men intimately and by Jove, I knew of their second, third or fourth wives/liaisons/mistresses with whom they had sired several children. To the whole world they were champions of monogamy, but to their hearts and conscience they were celebrated polygamists, or at best, serial monogamists. Pshaw! I saw pain written all over them, the agony of living a lie, the unease of hypocrisy, and the shame of going through life pretending to be what you are not. This is the sort of agony a lot of the so-called monogamists go through all their lives. The series of lies they sell to their wives, and the double life they present to their pastors and church leaders, most of whom are actually equally guilty of hypocrisy and double life living. This piece is not set out to condemn or criticise monogamy. Monogamy is perfect for those who believe in its concept and can genuinely keep to it. I too have been married to one lovely woman for almost 45 years and it has been like a marriage made in heaven. I happen also to be the promoter along with some friends the 35-year-old Family Club of Nigeria which is dedicated to the upliftment and celebration of marriage and family values. The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy. I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine. The white men, I am yet to see any human being whose skin colour is like that of chalk, came and told the unfortunate lands they invaded that the cherished cultures, traditions and religions of such lands were rubbish, and instead indoctrinated them with values which they themselves never believed in or truly practiced. We know of King Henry Vlll, and several major historical figures in ‘Christian’ Europe who had more than one wife in addition of a string of wives who their ‘laws’ forbade them to address as wives but who nonetheless perform all the functions of wife minus name. God bless President Mitterrand who openly confessed to having two women in his life, with the one in the other house with whom he fathered an 18-year-old daughter at the time he passed on. I have schooled, worked and lived virtually in all the continents of the world and I make bold to say with all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet earth truly practices monogamy. My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists! If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous, He or She would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature. The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or sixth wife to a man who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands? All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic? The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are known to have had worse and irresolvable, irreconcilable squabble, with dirty bitterness over inheritance than children from different mothers. The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, 502 Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome. Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich? A well known Nigerian journalist hid his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral service, other wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double interment that day! The Western world which had not learnt the art of living amicably with more than one partner under the same roof has indulged in multiple serial marriages, divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that another woman can move in should not be measure of standard for the world. Thank God Hillary Clinton in the US and Mrs Cook in England were very much wiser. They refused to allow some indiscretion on the part of their husbands to ruin their marriages. There was a well known American actor who passed on about a decade ago and all his 11 ex-wives with their numerous children attended his funeral. To ridicule the lie of their hypocritical existence, all the women were recognised and addressed as wives. As far as records show, the man had 11 wives! Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found. 2 Likes
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Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 4:07pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Well, I have no problem with people who choose polygamy but the author should also mention that there are women out there who would love to have more than one man. Apart from this, men having second "wives" in Europe is not as rampant as the author makes it appear to be. 4 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by tayo60(f): 4:08pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
And you expect me to read all this? Ko joooo! |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 4:19pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:This isn't the issue, the issue is finding two men willing to be married to the same woman. Sorry, but you should advise those women to try their luck next century...at least. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 4:25pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7G0acYVjSU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onUAtfkSZ1w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8y019760Mk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7HKmu3eMEk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlKGHAHSOtI 2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 4:26pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Besides Crackhaus, if you are not willing to, then live with the consequences or in other words: secret lovers. 3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 4:31pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 4:32pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 4:50pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Try to be less predictable, you didn't tell me anything I don't already know with your YouTube clips you know. Of course there are countries where polyandry is still practised, albeit almost at a minimum these days. My post was for women like you who don't live and have no intention of living in those countries...and to y'all I say, [size=26]try again next century.[/size] |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 4:53pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: Try again Crackhaus. One of these couples is from the US of A and the other from the UK. As you already know many of us here in family section live in the US of A or the UK. 2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 4:56pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
And India is an interesting option. One of the fastest growing economies with a sex ratio of 940 females per 1000 of males. And since there are more males in Nigeria than females, polyandry may be helpful. 3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 4:58pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Again, another predictable comment. Of course I saw the one with Anderson Cooper interviewing some, I didn't watch it of course. If not for the fact that you can be delusional, you know very well that those ones from the US and the UK are monumental exceptions. Nyggahs be rolling smashing hot smokin' pvssies day in day out, cheating on their baes day in day out...and you want to comfortably tell us here that the average man in the UK or the US will willingly share one woman with another man? Come on lady, even you can't be this delusional...just admit it, won't hurt you. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 4:59pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Go to India nah as your body dey scratch you. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:02pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: Who said that the average man is willing to share one woman? You said that there are NO MAN who are willing to share and I gave you plenty of examples. Then you made it about the countries where we are located so I provided examples from these countries and then you made it about the average man. Is the average woman in the USA or UK willing to share one man with another woman? 2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:05pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: I don't need to go to India to do so. With the economic situation in Nigeria I can become the sugar mommy to many fresh boys there. 3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 5:10pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:This is what I typed: "This isn't the issue, the issue is finding two men willing to be married to the same woman." How did your brain interpret that to mean 'NO MAN' The average woman in the US or UK already shares their man with another woman whether they like to admit it or not. What you should have asked me is if the average woman is willing to be married to a man who has a wife already...and dear, the jury is still out on this given that it's illegal. Anything else? |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 5:14pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:You have to be very rich and look sexy to be sugar mommy to any fresh boy in Nigeria..are you very rich and sexy? But not to lead us astray, we talking about marriage here. Where will you see two fresh boys to marry even with the economic situation in Nigeria? 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:17pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: I said that if polygamy is being to be socially accepted and legalized (in countries in which it isn't) then it has be legalized for EVERYONE. Whether it is difficult to find men who are willing to share a woman or not, is not your problem and is very possible. The average woman in the US or UK already shares their man with another woman whether they like to admit it or not. What you should have asked me is if the average woman is willing to be married to a man who has a wife already...and dear, the jury is still out on this. Yeah, and every African person practices voodoo. You need to travel more. Additionally, many women around the world already practice polygamy - secretly most of the time like their male counterparts - and you WILL admit it. 2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:23pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: I can be fat and overweight and buy several husbands. Men are selling themselves all the time, be it for a green card or money. [img]http://4.bp..com/-TbnYzpGXiIk/Udm9XE_WBAI/AAAAAAAAUdo/HZg54E6CW7E/s1600/old+and+young.jpg[/img] [img]http://2.bp..com/-y5v1f385r6A/UShKx4ewwWI/AAAAAAAANYE/3EMDB9L-ohg/s320/nigerian+boy+married+white+grandma.jpeg[/img] But not to lead us astray, we talking about marriage here. Is it legal for a woman to marry two husbands in Nigeria, legally or traditionally? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 5:24pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Lol, you are just jamming wall every way you turn. I already agreed with your submission that it can be legalized for everyone nah, I only asserted that even after this happens, the issue for women will become finding two men willing to be married to one woman. I never said it was my problem...and no it is NOT very possible to just come across two men that want to marry one woman. Try again next century. Lol yea, and many men around the world will have no problem becoming co-husbands to one woman. You need to take your drugs more, the delusions are getting more severe |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:29pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: We get on very well, I must say. I never said it was my problem, and it is NOT very possible to just come across two men tat want to marry one woman. Try again next century. It is very possible. I have provided evidence in the form of videoclips. It may be uncommon or less common than polygyny but it is VERY possible. And it is also rather uncommon to find a white woman who is willing to live in a polygamous relationship. They are exceptions. Lol yea, and many men around the world will have no problem becoming co-husbands to one woman. You need to take your drugs more, the delusions are getting more severe I love being delusional but I am just being logical in the context of this thread - unlike you - who is just being sentimental and selfishly partial. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Kimoni: 5:31pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
This write-up is rising from the dead strictly for Mindfulness and Crackhaus though they missed the opportunity in its first life. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:34pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Kimoni: We are retarded. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 5:34pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Are those boys fresh, and are you white? You want to be a sugar-mummy na, but dem pics is not sugar-mummy situation. This right here is damn-this-old-woman-stinks-but-i-must-get-greencard-by-fire-by-force. I thought you wanted to be sugar-mommy to fresh boys And I wish it could be made legal, just so I could LOL at the number of women that will start organizing protests complaining how Nigerian men have refused to be co-husbands to them. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Kimoni: 5:39pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:40pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
crackhaus: For these women, these boys are very fresh. Whether it is in exchange for money or a green card, that promises access to more money, it is still a sugar mommy thang. The underlying principle is very much the same, a DEAL. And I wish it could be, just so I could LOL at the number of women that will start organizing protests complaining how Nigerian men have refused to be co-husbands to them. It is not about suing someone for not willing to be a co-husband but about the fact that women are denied the right by law. Did you misinterpret deliberately? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 5:45pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Kimoni: Ok. 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Kimoni: 5:48pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness: 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Kimoni: 5:48pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Waoh! Guess who is here Efe, you didn't see what I just did, right? Errmmmmm I was actually on my way out you know |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 5:53pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness:It is not just uncommon, it is highly improbable. If you were to compare the numbers of women willing to share a man and of men willing to share a woman, I'm sure you realize that there's no comparison whatsoever. Again...you are not white. Nah, you're not being logical. You're being totally emotionally and actually the sentimental one particularly due to the fact that you don't like the idea that men get to have as many women as they want via polygamy, but women won't find it equally easy... all things being equal. As for being selfishly partial, this isn't me. You have nature to thank for that, and I'm just a reiterating what nature in all its magnificence designed. 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by EfemenaXY: 5:55pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Mindfulness. Your video clips... Evening bae. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by crackhaus: 5:55pm On Apr 27, 2016 |
Kimoni:Hehehe.. Indeed. 1 Like |
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