bakynes:

Oga Toks no mind all these people jare you try,me i endured with an ex for 3 years, she slaps me publicly, throws my clothes out in the rain, use knive to cut me, bite me all over my body, tore my shirt in public etc uncountable things she does and d day she finally tore my car particulars and was stonning my car i lost it that day and i used my belt on her that was after 3 years of enduring all that i listed above. Everyone knows me am as gentle as a dove i avoid trouble like anything but remember every human has a breaking point and when pushed to that breaking point will react. I know lots of people will say why didnt i leave her, she brings friends and family to beg me and they all say " you know say na woman" and if i refuse to listen to them it will be like am stubborn. The day i beat her with my belt (it was just a few lashes not like i inflicted any injury on her) was the day we ended it.

This is the thread Seun apologized to ladies about and removed it from front page titled."6 facts that prove that women are the main cause of domestic violence"

below is the write up.



[size=13pt]*A man who beats a woman is a beast and do not deserve to live with humans but with fellow beasts in the jungle...No matter how provoked you may be as a man,please never raise your hand to beat your wife.*
[/size]

It is no longer news that many women have lost their lives through domestic violence and the more we try to put the blames on the menfolk the more we will continue to blind our eyes to the fact that indeed,many women are the cause of the domestic violence we see today because they fail to understand some important aspects of how most men are naturally wired and below are 6 facts that point to this...


1.Negligence: Yes this is one fact many ladies will not deny because there is no accidental character and the signs of a violent man would have been there . It is quite amazing that many ladies get beaten up by a guy they are dating and this guy will still go ahead and become their hubby and i keep wondering what these ladies were thinking saying i do to a guy who beats you up. Many ladies usually believe such guys will change but the honest truth is that a guy who beats you up while dating you may kill you when he becomes your hubby.RUN.


2.Sophistication:Many people will wonder what this has to do with domestic violence but it has a whole lot to do with it. Sophistication is the bane of today's woman and the number one reason why many ladies find it hard to get a man to settle down with. Many ladies are too sophisticated to come to terms with the fact that they are married,they still want to live a life of a spinster while married and these set of ladies will not hesitate to tell their hubby the need for him to help out in the kitchen,the need for him to cook his food and even take care of the baby and subconsciously, these ladies gradually bruise the ego of the man who may continue to stomach these things until he gets pushed to the wall and reacts in a violent way. No matter how highly placed or sophisticated you may be as a lady,please understand that you are a wife and a mother and you must learn how to joggle these roles without turning your hubby into a domestic servant...if he decides to help out please let it be his decision.


3. Misguided utterance: This is a very common fact among the women folk and it is so sad that many ladies do not even realize they are guilty of this because they just might believe they are making sense not knowing that they are bruising the man's ego and killing him bit by bit mentally and emotionally. Misguided speech sometimes come in a very subtle way from the lady who may have no clue. For instance a lady footing the bills telling her hubby that "she can not go out all day and still come home to please him sexually" or "he can not satisfy you sexually", or funny words like "you should be thanking GOD for having me cos there are better guys out there" bla bla bla common.... A man is an egocentric person and any word that bruises his ego could bring out the beast in him.


4.Infidelity:This account for many cases of domestic violence leading to death. Yes men cheat as well as ladies but as a lady please be extremely careful when it comes to sexual infidelity. Scientists have proved that the effect of hard drugs on human is the same effect a heart break gives. If you must cheat on your man or hubby please i advice you just break up with such first rather than staying in that affair and cheating because the resultant effect is always a dangerous one.


5.Use of abusive words:This is no doubt one reason why many gentle men have turned wife beaters.There are some women who can use their tongue to set a house on fire and you need to hear how some ladies speak to their spouses.
Many ladies are very erratic in speech and it is not all men that are gentle or can walk away as men are always advised.Please ladies,learn to bridle your tongues to avoid stories that touch...be submissive,be humble.be calm in your speech and avoid getting confrontational because men hate confrontations...remember...not every man is a gentle man so try to always. maintain a status quo.Understand when to keep quiet to avoid heated arguments which usually leads to violent reactions from the man.



6.Gullibility:Yes many ladies are very gullible when it comes to handling domestic violence.There are some guys who just make it a crazy habit beating up a lady at any slight opportunity even if the lady exhibits an angelic nature. If a man beats you once,assume its a mistake but if he tries it again,please don't go back to your parents or waste your time reporting him to family members..go to the police immediately to report him and let him be invited to write an undertaken never to touch you again while you also maintain a proper decorum but if his madness persists,please leave that marriage or relationship immediately whether you have a child for him or not...it is better to remain single and happy than to lose your life.Gullible ladies who have listened to funny advices from family members to remain in a violent marriage for whatever reason are not 6 feet below....Be reasonable.


Hope this makes sense.

I'm not an advocate of abuse of any kind but let's not forget that some men are also terrible with words and this can provoke the woman to 'abuse her man verbally'. In other words, both male and female should be mindful of their actions and words. MUTUAL RESPECT IS KEY IN ANY RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE.

Until humans realize that marriage is not man made but an institution ordained by God Almighty
There will be no peace in most homes. Like everything else that God created, there are principles
that should govern a Godly marriage and those principles are written in the Bible. The man and woman
has a role to play and most importantly the fear of God MUST be enthroned in the home. The devil is out
to destroy marriages and we shouldn't give space to him. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. If
you cannot stay together in love and harmony then separate-NOT DIVORCE!...allow God rule your home.
Love each other, respect each other, tolerate your differences, make God the third party in your union..
God bless our marriages!

Behind every successful marriage, there is a always a great woman. God has wired the woman in a very special way that she can make even the most powerful man act like a child. While I may not be absolving the man of his own responsibilities, in my own opinion a lady, most especially the educated one who wants to give reasons why her marriage failed is merely confessing that she is unfit to be a house wife.

joek:
Please judge my case. I've been married for the past 7years. I never raised my hands against my wife even though she hit me two different times. She nags, insulting and very disrespectful. This passed Sunday, she called me an animal and insane in the presence of our neighbours simply because I went to the rest room bare-footed to pee. I did that because she was wearing the available slippers;the second one was bad and I didn't want to wear shoe to the rest room. I didn't say a word back to her. When she came to the sitting room, She looked me in the eye and called me a mad man and that I need to have my head examined. I was so angry that I wanted to hit her but I calmed down and went out. This is what I go through once there is any little provocation. How do I get out of this abuse and humiliation without
beating her up? Cos if I do, you ladies would call me wife beater! For your information, she is a worker in our Church.

Oga, if it has become unbearable, call her people to come and take their daughter away till she learns how to respect not just others but her husband . It doesn't have to turn physical to be termed abuse. Let her explain to Church why you sent her away not you!
But, did you wash your feet after visiting the restroom?

Toks2008:


Seun should come and answer the question.

He believes ladies are victims but the story just made it clear that the man had been the victim for a long time but just one weak moment from the guy the world is now reading this.

I had a sharp tongued ex that can use her mouth to kill a man...she would not mind running her mouth as she wants but for 12years i did not raise a finger to touch her even when she told me just a year into the affair that she prefers that a man beats her because she is sturbborn and sharp tongued.

i tolerated for 12 good years until i lost it 3yrs ago and slaped her lap for insulting me and immediaely apologized but for where...she took pics of the red spot on her lap and sent it to my sister and mum and they all lashed ou at me not knowing how i tolerated 12yrs of verbal assault and despite my apologies to her she just held on to that.

Seun apologized to ladies on my thread for my title...6 facts that pove that women are the main cause of domestic violence...and even removed the thread from fpage..how dumb and unreasonable.

Now come and read this and apologize to me.

I reiterated the need for men never to raise their hands to beat women yet stated clearly what should be avoided but its so fortunate that some people have a deep myopic mentality.

I read your write-up on domestic violence and from my own understanding of the thread, you never supported violence against women instead, you concentrated on what women/ladies should do to avoid ending up with a violent man and prevent being battered if already in marriage. I think it is a good write-up but many misunderstood you

Toks2008:


Seun will come and advice you because he believes ladies are the victims...honestly to slap this Seun guy dey hungry me and i have been looking forward to slapping him since 2007.

Lol. Oga u are vexing o.

Women are victims of domestic violence and so also are men. My dad was a victim in his first marriage before he ended things with the woman. When I say victim, I mean he suffered in her hands. Whenever she starts the first thing she does is to destroy things he bought in the house. Some women are the reason why their husbands lose their cool.

Toks2008:


This is the thread Seun apologized to ladies about and removed it from front page titled."6 facts that prove that women are the main cause of domestic violence"

below is the write up.



[size=13pt]*A man who beats a woman is a beast and do not deserve to live with humans but with fellow beasts in the jungle...No matter how provoked you may be as a man,please never raise your hand to beat your wife.*
[/size]

It is no longer news that many women have lost their lives through domestic violence and the more we try to put the blames on the menfolk the more we will continue to blind our eyes to the fact that indeed,many women are the cause of the domestic violence we see today because they fail to understand some important aspects of how most men are naturally wired and below are 6 facts that point to this...


1.Negligence: Yes this is one fact many ladies will not deny because there is no accidental character and the signs of a violent man would have been there . It is quite amazing that many ladies get beaten up by a guy they are dating and this guy will still go ahead and become their hubby and i keep wondering what these ladies were thinking saying i do to a guy who beats you up. Many ladies usually believe such guys will change but the honest truth is that a guy who beats you up while dating you may kill you when he becomes your hubby.RUN.


2.Sophistication:Many people will wonder what this has to do with domestic violence but it has a whole lot to do with it. Sophistication is the bane of today's woman and the number one reason why many ladies find it hard to get a man to settle down with. Many ladies are too sophisticated to come to terms with the fact that they are married,they still want to live a life of a spinster while married and these set of ladies will not hesitate to tell their hubby the need for him to help out in the kitchen,the need for him to cook his food and even take care of the baby and subconsciously, these ladies gradually bruise the ego of the man who may continue to stomach these things until he gets pushed to the wall and reacts in a violent way. No matter how highly placed or sophisticated you may be as a lady,please understand that you are a wife and a mother and you must learn how to joggle these roles without turning your hubby into a domestic servant...if he decides to help out please let it be his decision.


3. Misguided utterance: This is a very common fact among the women folk and it is so sad that many ladies do not even realize they are guilty of this because they just might believe they are making sense not knowing that they are bruising the man's ego and killing him bit by bit mentally and emotionally. Misguided speech sometimes come in a very subtle way from the lady who may have no clue. For instance a lady footing the bills telling her hubby that "she can not go out all day and still come home to please him sexually" or "he can not satisfy you sexually", or funny words like "you should be thanking GOD for having me cos there are better guys out there" bla bla bla common.... A man is an egocentric person and any word that bruises his ego could bring out the beast in him.


4.Infidelity:This account for many cases of domestic violence leading to death. Yes men cheat as well as ladies but as a lady please be extremely careful when it comes to sexual infidelity. Scientists have proved that the effect of hard drugs on human is the same effect a heart break gives. If you must cheat on your man or hubby please i advice you just break up with such first rather than staying in that affair and cheating because the resultant effect is always a dangerous one.


5.Use of abusive words:This is no doubt one reason why many gentle men have turned wife beaters.There are some women who can use their tongue to set a house on fire and you need to hear how some ladies speak to their spouses.
Many ladies are very erratic in speech and it is not all men that are gentle or can walk away as men are always advised.Please ladies,learn to bridle your tongues to avoid stories that touch...be submissive,be humble.be calm in your speech and avoid getting confrontational because men hate confrontations...remember...not every man is a gentle man so try to always. maintain a status quo.Understand when to keep quiet to avoid heated arguments which usually leads to violent reactions from the man.



6.Gullibility:Yes many ladies are very gullible when it comes to handling domestic violence.There are some guys who just make it a crazy habit beating up a lady at any slight opportunity even if the lady exhibits an angelic nature. If a man beats you once,assume its a mistake but if he tries it again,please don't go back to your parents or waste your time reporting him to family members..go to the police immediately to report him and let him be invited to write an undertaken never to touch you again while you also maintain a proper decorum but if his madness persists,please leave that marriage or relationship immediately whether you have a child for him or not...it is better to remain single and happy than to lose your life.Gullible ladies who have listened to funny advices from family members to remain in a violent marriage for whatever reason are not 6 feet below....Be reasonable.


Hope this makes sense.

I read that thread you were on point just that alot of people didnt read the body of the thread just drew their conclusion from the topic including Seun.

Domestic violence is what is invogue abi?mk dem slap dat man bk ooo,he must turn blind,dumb n deaf in one slap.

delightf:
When one is silence does nt means he don't kown what his doing,maybe the man has been calm 4 allthis while,wife must be submisive thusband nomatter what 1cor 7 vs 1 to end. U must be lyal,u must nt ride onur husband cuz God has make them the head nd they ll remain the head,you ve no power over ur body likeme or hate me,I am nt in suppoort of her slaping nd disrespecting her husband no if is mysisiter I ll tel her u re wrong

God bless you. What I always tell ladies is to make Bible principles guide their marriage. Then there will be no issue.

I only login to post on topics I can relate to else i just browse on.

Once you hit a person whatever you say is after say . There are many ways to solve an argument the best being to simply take some time out and walk away. Not only will you feel better afterwords there will be nothing to regret. If you got married to a spouse who abuses you daily for sexual satisfaction nothing is stopping you from leaving. Society might look down on you but at least you will live.

With an Abuser its control.

I was punched and went for a party at a familys place ...as per na guy what did the dj play - E Gba Oju E i felt bad people are insensitive. I looked at the Dj and they were laughing like they knew. Violence is everywhere in our music, our movies and our daily lives. What can we do? Change starts with you. Change your reaction.They push your buttons they call you names ignore and be better in life than you were yesterday.

For the Aggressors Ask yourself do your Children deserve this future ? because the cycle never stops unless you decide where it ends.

Violence is never a valid way of gaining respect. It only shows your weakness. For some its flight or flee or fight and flee. God sees all and grants us peace with our true loves.

Wait for it or Be it....the choice is yours.

solasoulmusic:
Once you hit a person whatever you say is after say . There are many ways to solve an argument the best being to simply take some time out and walk away.

Have you heard about women locking the door and preventing the man from walking away while raining insults upon them?

ivyy:
Obviously these men sometimes get pushed to the wall. I'm a woman and I know for sure how troublesome and wicked some women can be. However, the problem is, once you start hitting your woman, the chances are very high that you will continue. And because as a man, you are physically stronger, you just might kill her some day.
So why not just control that anger, leave and deal with her in some other way. Infact, why not just get separated? Better to be separated or a divorcee than be tagged a murderer if you ask me.

one reason im single.

Guyman02:


Have you heard about women locking the door and preventing the man from walking away while raining insults upon them?

I haven't truly and I can imagine how sad it is for the victim. Nobody is Lord over you not even in Love. She doesn't deserve you. A woman Bows to her king. At least this woman does

nnadychuks:
Nawao this watermelon woman Neva still come self

oga sorry I being dey sell for someone for the other street,aw much make I cut

Domestic violence goes both ways, I have personally seen a situation where a woman was talking down at her husband in the presence of family and friends and everyone of us just sat there staring at her. If you are a man and your wife is abusing you either physically or verbally please send her back to her parents house, it has a way of restoring factory settings, if you are a woman and you are in an abusive relationship, leave!

look at this story, the woman can press charges against the man and she'd win big in any sane court. The man should have sent her away instead getting her blind and getting himself into trouble.

ts beta 2 stay @ a corner of a room than 2 be with a nagging woman-Bible

SUPERPACK:
An eye for an eye is nt a criminal offence bt self defense, therefore the woman is at fault judging by the story you narrated, And the man has the right to self defense to protect his own right.

Where did u study Law?

tuzeriouz:


Hehehehe...ur dp sef na fashion violence.

Thought I was the only one who noticed....

Nawa oo,this woman tried even with her present state she is like this. They should better go their separate ways.

kayti:
oga sorry I being dey sell for someone for the other street,aw much make I cut

lolz lolz

If a woman raises her hands against me, that relationship is over. Ko ma da fu love

Dyt:
Some women can nag for Africa Even with one eye She was still nagging Hianus

my bro no be small o...u can imagine

the husband is guilty.hot temper ,bad temper are traits that easily comes up for identification during courtship and he ought to have rejected a bad temper option.

bulldoza:
I can not really blame the man sha
This women can push someone to the wall sometimes
SOME OF THEM CAN BE VERY SENSELESS
HOW CAN YOU RAISE YOUR HANDS AGAINST SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T BEAT ?
The only person I can spare is my parent and maybe my boss

You must be very foo.oolish, and a weakling, wife beater, it's people like you that use their wife for rituals. Tomorrow u ll start looking for someone to marry. Girls run from people like this abeg.

bukatyne:
You mean one slap surpassed 3 yrs worth of slaps?

As much as I understand the man, he is not completely blameless.

After the first slap, he should have taken concrete steps to end the nonsense not waiting for 3yrs to retaliate & blinding her in one eye.

I advise they go their separate ways before he kills her 5yrs later.

Putting her husband down is clearly more important than her life.

if he had taken the concrete steps to end the nonsense,you would still come here to blame him for maltreating his wife or not showing love to her. What in this world can we do that will satisfy you the female homosapien?

Philpham:


You must be very foo.oolish, and a weakling, wife beater, it's people like you that use their wife for rituals. Tomorrow u ll start looking for someone to marry. Girls run from people like this abeg.

lol!
U must be a retarrd and I dont argue with your kinds.

cococandy:
But he said the wife slaps him too.
So let's say they fight. Hope this is not an attempt to play down domestic violence.
In their case a slap for a slap is not abuse.

This is one of the feminist on NL,she will only surface in such situations and play down on female faults,I told you once,if this ya mentality no be for only social media,then your husband is either weak,a handbag or he's under stroonng magun.

bukatyne:


Is there no member of your church/family you can report her to?

Can you not look her in the eye and warn her never to disrespect you again?

I am worried because one day, you will freak out and beat/maim/kill her.

If all does not work, separate till she comes back to her senses and while separated, live a pure, holy & accountable life so that you will not accused infidelity.

Alternatively, he could just remove his leather belt one day and flog some senses into her. She won't die,she deserves it.

dicefrost:



Alternatively, he could just remove his leather belt one day and flog some senses into her. She won't die,she deserves it.

Hear yourself, flog his child right?

If you can't cope with her behaviour, call it quits!
Some men can be blind too. A guy made a post on NL talking about his fiance, how she is very quarrelsome and troublesome, and how much they are always fighting or settling fights with other people but the guy still claims to love her and plans to marry her.
Tommorow such people will make headlines and people of like minds will be coming out to belittle women talking like they are men's minions or slaves.

Domestic violence is 2016 trend wallahi!