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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Roles In The 'nigerian' Family (32456 Views)
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Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by crackhaus: 1:46pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005:Yea, just like sweetcocoa that can make a man do anything |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by crackhaus: 1:54pm On May 20, 2016 |
Mindfulness:If you're being honest, then I guess you can understand how that explains a lot... unlike some peeps that are confirmed Nigerian-bred and were only opportuned to see/live with the white man, but still won't let other people hear word. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 2:35pm On May 20, 2016 |
crackhaus:That one dey jonze herself. I believe she was joking anyways. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Nobody: 3:49pm On May 20, 2016 |
crackhaus: Of course it does. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 6:47pm On May 20, 2016 |
Octobertwentysix: It is all good. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 6:52pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005: There are loosely two models of handling roles and one is in discussion here. 1. Both provide and both do domestics 2. Hubby provide and wife do domestics. And we are discussing model 2 here.... Caroline Danjuma is probably running model 2 and her husband provides so why is she in discussion here? My question again is what is the use of a husband in model 2 who doesn't do domestics when he doesn't provide? 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 6:59pm On May 20, 2016 |
crackhaus: Mr. Disrespectful; You post a disrespectful comment on a thread and expect me to 'get over it' in another? I would expect you would put enough thoughtfulness into responding to monikers especially when you did not have a previous roforofo with them. 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 7:33pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne:Going by your second model, if husband provides while wife does domestic chores, that means when husband can't provide, both man and wife are at home. If so, wife just continue with her domestic chores. She's been doing it so why stop? Nothing changes. In another scenerio where the man provides while wife does domestic chores and still work at the same time and man could no longer provide, if she was doing domestic chores while working when the man was providing then she should still do both when the man no longer provides. Nothing changes about her "time". She still work the same hours so why does the man now have to join in domestic chores? Let's take this scenerio as example; Man provides , wife works and return home by 4pm and do her chores without complaint. Now husband no longer provides and wife still goes to work and return by the same 4pm, what's the big deal in her continuing with her chores when nothing changes about her? She still got the same time to do what she has always been doing so what help does she need? The man is not "useless" because his help is not even needed. If he offers it, fine and if not, she should just deal with it. It's okay to talk about his "usefulness" only when the woman now have to work "EXTRA-TIME". It's all about TIME. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 7:48pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005: 1. That the wife does domestics doesn't mean she doesn't work; she gets the job done however because it's her role. 2. I agree with you the working hours of the wife doesn't change.... however, what would be the husband's contribution to the relationship at that time he can't provide finance (which is his roles)? In every healthy relationship, we invest time, money, help, services etc. make the relationship go smoothly. If you can't invest A you normally invest, it is expected you look for something else to invest. 3. Let's adopt your 4:00pm... (though I don't know the job people get home by 4:00pm ). What does the husband at that point in time invest in the home since he can't invest his money?... 4. The husband has to invest his time/services more as that is what he has at his disposal. The longer she does, the more he has to invest. 5. Obviously P.S.: This is why there is usually friction in model 2 when the man is unfortunately out of job and is un-willing to invest his time into the marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 8:04pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne:Doing domestics is the only way for a man to invest his time in a marriage? If a woman does all she needs to do before leaving the house for work, the man won't have any chores to do while the woman is away at work. Any woman that leaves certain daily chores undone before going to work is a lazy woman. Infact, any woman that wants her primary role shared/divided is a lazy woman. 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 8:12pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005: And a man who can't provide?..... What does the Bible say? 1 Tim 5 : 8 And women do all the chores in the morning before going to work..... and come back by 4pm? 2 Likes |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 8:19pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005:Na sense wey you no get dey worry you like this. 2 Likes |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 8:46pm On May 20, 2016 |
sweetcocoa:You're stupîd and that's why your own blood brother said he doubts you'd find yourself a real man. Ar1ndin. 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 8:56pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne:Stop assuming everyone lives in your world. Just because you don't have that luxury doesn't mean others don't. Is everybody living in Lagos? Don't we have people in even that Lagos that work within trekkable distance? Aren't there organisations where they close as early as 2pm? Yes, some people do get home before 4pm. If you find that hard to believe, then sorry, I can't help you. 2 Likes |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 9:00pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005: E pain am. Na una be the real men? E no better say person be nun than marry one of you? 2 Likes |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 9:11pm On May 20, 2016 |
crackhaus:See you, dey here dey deceive yourself, so if ask you to do something for me, you won't do it abi? |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by raumdeuter: 9:19pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne: In your example do you actually think caroline does any domestic work or has an army of domestic staff supervised by another Personal assistant all paid for by the husband So what is her usefulness in this setup 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:03pm On May 20, 2016 |
raumdeuter: She's a trophy wife & must look good and trim by fire by force. That is the value she's bringing. 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:09pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005: Forget about my world and what I believe A wife who wants her primary role shared is laazy... A man who can't perform his primary role is? 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:24pm On May 20, 2016 |
sweetcocoa:You don't matter little one. Let me tell you this, everyone's prayer for you is that you meet a man like us. Alpha-males like us that will do everything to provide for the family. Men who bring in the cash. If you cop yourself real men like us, then you're a winner. When you grow up a bit, you'd understand. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Mamatee07: 10:33pm On May 20, 2016 |
Who are these women that return home by 4 pm because I honestly don't know any Most women return home at the same time as their husbands yet they are expected to do chores and cooking alone and still take care of kids. She wakes up in the morning gets kids ready for school and must still prepare their lunch boxes and such while the man snoozes on. Then they both head to work where they most likely work equal hours. He gets home and chills while slave girl starts cooking and doing house chores again. Kids homework, arrange clothes for school. Get the kids ready for bed and all It's only in Nigeria that a sex who claims y be stronger leaves more work for the supposedly weaker sex For the husband that's not working and still expects the wife to take care of all chores and kids stuff while being the breadwinner please what exactly does he do all day? How can you claim to love someone and not help reduce her burden when she's helping to reduce yours or even taking it over ( financial responsibility) . That's the height of wickedness 2 Likes |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:34pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne:You created a pseudo-scenerio in your head and we still beat you around it. Just resign yourself to fate and accept your primary role. Complain not and enjoy "it". 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Mamatee07: 10:36pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne: Such a man is as useless as a piece of furniture 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:37pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne:Answer my question above and stop dancing about Bolade005: 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:37pm On May 20, 2016 |
Mamatee07: Mama don vex! |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Mamatee07: 10:40pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne: It's true now, anyone who doesn't bring anything into a relationship is useless. It's the same as a housewife who expects the husband to come home and do all the domestic chores. Like you said what's he's own contribution? When someone takes over your responsibility you show gratitude by reliving him/her of some of theirs. It's common decency |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:50pm On May 20, 2016 |
bukatyne:A man who used to provide and later find himself not capable is not to be blamed for anything. It will most certainly be as a result of factors far beyond him and I am sure a real man would do anything and everything to change the situation. He's just unlucky but a woman who can't perform her primary role is nothing but LAZY. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 10:53pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005:Enyi move along abeg, we never see people wey stand, na the ones wey squat we go come see, Oboy shift abeg, alpha male, chai! I don suffer sha. 1 Like |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:57pm On May 20, 2016 |
Bolade005: A man who can't provide is unlucky A woman who can do her primary duty is lazy.. Read 1 Tim 5 : 8 Let's see if the Bible agrees with you. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:57pm On May 20, 2016 |
sweetcocoa:You're a bitter young girl. Agbero oshi *in your own brother's voice* |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:58pm On May 20, 2016 |
Mamatee07: Common decent is not always common. |
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by shaybebaby(f): 10:59pm On May 20, 2016 |
Mamatee07:Nope, as useless as the back of a spoon. |
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