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Roles In The 'nigerian' Family - Family (12) - Nairaland

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Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by crackhaus: 1:46pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

Big Amen o.

Na guy wey dem fit use in head dem dey find. Alpha-males stultifies them grin
Yea, just like sweetcocoa that can make a man do anything cheesy
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by crackhaus: 1:54pm On May 20, 2016
Mindfulness:


Well, don't take all of my comments seriously. I am trolling sometimes. grin
However, I have spent more time in the diaspora than Nigeria so you are right to some extent.
If you're being honest, then I guess you can understand how that explains a lot... unlike some peeps that are confirmed Nigerian-bred and were only opportuned to see/live with the white man, but still won't let other people hear word. tongue cheesycheesy
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 2:35pm On May 20, 2016
crackhaus:

Yea, just like sweetcocoa that can make a man do anything cheesy
That one dey jonze herself. I believe she was joking anyways.
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Nobody: 3:49pm On May 20, 2016
crackhaus:

If you're being honest, then I guess you can understand how that explains a lot... unlike some peeps that are confirmed Nigerian-bred and were only opportuned to see/live with the white man, but still won't let other people hear word. tongue cheesycheesy

Of course it does. tongue
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 6:47pm On May 20, 2016
Octobertwentysix:
I have never seen any that refused it cos our mother's had already told us about it. What I know is that most young couples usually fall back to it. Some ladies use theirs to start a business or buy gold necklace with it, many use theirs to buy sewing machine. I don't think any lady will turn it down knowing fully well that the money will be given to her, cos its usually a large sum.

It is all good.
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 6:52pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

What exactly do you expect him to do? Mop the floor, wash the plates shey?

Well, I'm not against any man that do these chores, what I'm against is the woman imposing such chores on a man. Its not going to happen. If he doesn't willingly do them, then that's the end of it. Why should he abdicate the woman of her primary role because he is home all day?

If she does her job so well, these things won't even pile up enough to be issue.

Will a woman like Caroline Danjuma expect Musa to do her job after clothing, housing and feeding her?. This whole chore thing becomes issue only when the man and the woman brings in almost the same thing to the table or the woman brings more. Y'all don't even have the gut to raise it when the man is the main provider in the home and you contribute zilch despite the fact that you work too.

There are loosely two models of handling roles and one is in discussion here.

1. Both provide and both do domestics
2. Hubby provide and wife do domestics.

And we are discussing model 2 here....

Caroline Danjuma is probably running model 2 and her husband provides so why is she in discussion here?

My question again is what is the use of a husband in model 2 who doesn't do domestics when he doesn't provide?

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 6:59pm On May 20, 2016
crackhaus:

Get over it Mrs sensitive.

Mr. Disrespectful;

You post a disrespectful comment on a thread and expect me to 'get over it' in another?

I would expect you would put enough thoughtfulness into responding to monikers especially when you did not have a previous roforofo with them.

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 7:33pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:


There are loosely two models of handling roles and one is in discussion here.

1. Both provide and both do domestics
2. Hubby provide and wife do domestics.

And we are discussing model 2 here....

Caroline Danjuma is probably running model 2 and her husband provides so why is she in discussion here?

My question again is what is the use of a husband in model 2 who doesn't do domestics when he doesn't provide?
Going by your second model, if husband provides while wife does domestic chores, that means when husband can't provide, both man and wife are at home. If so, wife just continue with her domestic chores. She's been doing it so why stop? Nothing changes.

In another scenerio where the man provides while wife does domestic chores and still work at the same time and man could no longer provide, if she was doing domestic chores while working when the man was providing then she should still do both when the man no longer provides. Nothing changes about her "time". She still work the same hours so why does the man now have to join in domestic chores?

Let's take this scenerio as example;
Man provides , wife works and return home by 4pm and do her chores without complaint. Now husband no longer provides and wife still goes to work and return by the same 4pm, what's the big deal in her continuing with her chores when nothing changes about her? She still got the same time to do what she has always been doing so what help does she need? The man is not "useless" because his help is not even needed. If he offers it, fine and if not, she should just deal with it.

It's okay to talk about his "usefulness" only when the woman now have to work "EXTRA-TIME".

It's all about TIME.
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 7:48pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

1.Going by your second model, if husband provides while wife does domestic chores, that means when husband can't provide, both man and wife are at home. If so, wife just continue with her domestic chores. She's been doing it so why stop? Nothing changes.

2. In another scenerio where the man provides while wife does domestic chores and still work at the same time and man could no longer provide, if she was doing domestic chores while working when the man was providing then she should still do both when the man no longer provides. Nothing changes about her "time". She still work the same hours so why does the man now have to join in domestic chores?

Let's take this scenerio as example;
3. Man provides , wife works and return home by 4pm and do her chores without complaint. Now husband no longer provides and wife still goes to work and return by the same 4pm, what's the big deal in her continuing with her chores when nothing changes about her? She still got the same time to do what she has always been doing so what help does she need? The man is not "useless" because his help is not even needed. If he offers it, fine and if not, she should just deal with it.

4. It's okay to talk about his "usefulness" only when the woman now have to work "EXTRA-TIME".

5. It's all about TIME.

1. That the wife does domestics doesn't mean she doesn't work; she gets the job done however because it's her role.

2. I agree with you the working hours of the wife doesn't change.... however, what would be the husband's contribution to the relationship at that time he can't provide finance (which is his roles)? In every healthy relationship, we invest time, money, help, services etc. make the relationship go smoothly. If you can't invest A you normally invest, it is expected you look for something else to invest.

3. Let's adopt your 4:00pm... (though I don't know the job people get home by 4:00pm grin). What does the husband at that point in time invest in the home since he can't invest his money?...

4. The husband has to invest his time/services more as that is what he has at his disposal. The longer she does, the more he has to invest.

5. Obviously

P.S.: This is why there is usually friction in model 2 when the man is unfortunately out of job and is un-willing to invest his time into the marriage.

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 8:04pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:


1. That the wife does domestics doesn't mean she doesn't work; she gets the job done however because it's her role.

2. I agree with you the working hours of the wife doesn't change.... however, what would be the husband's contribution to the relationship at that time he can't provide finance (which is his roles)? In every healthy relationship, we invest time, money, help, services etc. make the relationship go smoothly. If you can't invest A you normally invest, it is expected you look for something else to invest.

3. Let's adopt your 4:00pm... (though I don't know the job people get home by 4:00pm grin). What does the husband at that point in time invest in the home since he can't invest his money?...

4. The husband has to invest his time/services more as that is what he has at his disposal. The longer she does, the more he has to invest.

5. Obviously

P.S.: This is why there is usually friction in model 2 when the man is unfortunately out of job and is un-willing to invest his time into the marriage.
Doing domestics is the only way for a man to invest his time in a marriage?

If a woman does all she needs to do before leaving the house for work, the man won't have any chores to do while the woman is away at work.

Any woman that leaves certain daily chores undone before going to work is a lazy woman. Infact, any woman that wants her primary role shared/divided is a lazy woman.

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 8:12pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

Doing domestics is the only way for a man to invest his time in a marriage?

If a woman does all she needs to do before leaving the house for work, the man won't have any chores to do while the woman is away at work.

Any woman that leaves certain daily chores undone before going to work is a lazy woman. Infact, any woman that wants her primary role shared/divided is a lazy woman.

And a man who can't provide?..... What does the Bible say? 1 Tim 5 : 8

And women do all the chores in the morning before going to work..... and come back by 4pm? grin

2 Likes

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 8:19pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

That one dey jonze herself. I believe she was joking anyways.
Na sense wey you no get dey worry you like this.

2 Likes

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 8:46pm On May 20, 2016
sweetcocoa:
Na sense wey you no get dey worry you like this.
You're stupîd and that's why your own blood brother said he doubts you'd find yourself a real man. Ar1ndin.

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 8:56pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:


And a man who can't provide?..... What does the Bible say? 1 Tim 5 : 8

And women do all the chores in the morning before going to work..... and come back by 4pm? grin
Stop assuming everyone lives in your world. Just because you don't have that luxury doesn't mean others don't. Is everybody living in Lagos? Don't we have people in even that Lagos that work within trekkable distance? Aren't there organisations where they close as early as 2pm?

Yes, some people do get home before 4pm. If you find that hard to believe, then sorry, I can't help you.

2 Likes

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 9:00pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

You're stupîd and that's why your own blood brother said he doubts you'd find yourself a real man. Ar1ndin.
grin grin grin

E pain am.

Na una be the real men? E no better say person be nun than marry one of you? grin

2 Likes

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 9:11pm On May 20, 2016
crackhaus:

Yea, just like sweetcocoa that can make a man do anything cheesy
See you, dey here dey deceive yourself, so if ask you to do something for me, you won't do it abi?cheesy
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by raumdeuter: 9:19pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:


There are loosely two models of handling roles and one is in discussion here.

1. Both provide and both do domestics
2. Hubby provide and wife do domestics.

And we are discussing model 2 here....

Caroline Danjuma is probably running model 2 and her husband provides so why is she in discussion here?

My question again is what is the use of a husband in model 2 who doesn't do domestics when he doesn't provide?

In your example do you actually think caroline does any domestic work or has an army of domestic staff supervised by another Personal assistant all paid for by the husband

So what is her usefulness in this setup

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:03pm On May 20, 2016
raumdeuter:


In your example do you actually think caroline does any domestic work or has an army of domestic staff supervised by another Personal assistant all paid for by the husband

So what is her usefulness in this setup

She's a trophy wife & must look good and trim by fire by force.

That is the value she's bringing.

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:09pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

Stop assuming everyone lives in your world. Just because you don't have that luxury doesn't mean others don't. Is everybody living in Lagos? Don't we have people in even that Lagos that work within trekkable distance? Aren't there organisations where they close as early as 2pm?

Yes, some people do get home before 4pm. If you find that hard to believe, then sorry, I can't help you.

Forget about my world and what I believe grin

A wife who wants her primary role shared is laazy...

A man who can't perform his primary role is?

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:24pm On May 20, 2016
sweetcocoa:
grin grin grin

E pain am
.

Na una be the real men? E no better say person be nun than marry one of you? grin
You don't matter little one.

Let me tell you this, everyone's prayer for you is that you meet a man like us. Alpha-males like us that will do everything to provide for the family. Men who bring in the cash. If you cop yourself real men like us, then you're a winner.

When you grow up a bit, you'd understand.
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Mamatee07: 10:33pm On May 20, 2016
Who are these women that return home by 4 pm because I honestly don't know any Most women return home at the same time as their husbands yet they are expected to do chores and cooking alone and still take care of kids. She wakes up in the morning gets kids ready for school and must still prepare their lunch boxes and such while the man snoozes on. Then they both head to work where they most likely work equal hours. He gets home and chills while slave girl starts cooking and doing house chores again. Kids homework, arrange clothes for school. Get the kids ready for bed and all

It's only in Nigeria that a sex who claims y be stronger leaves more work for the supposedly weaker sex

For the husband that's not working and still expects the wife to take care of all chores and kids stuff while being the breadwinner please what exactly does he do all day? How can you claim to love someone and not help reduce her burden when she's helping to reduce yours or even taking it over ( financial responsibility) . That's the height of wickedness sad

2 Likes

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:34pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:


Forget about my world and what I believe grin

A wife who wants her primary role shared is laazy...

A man who can't perform his primary role is?
You created a pseudo-scenerio in your head and we still beat you around it. Just resign yourself to fate and accept your primary role. Complain not and enjoy "it".

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Mamatee07: 10:36pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:


There are loosely two models of handling roles and one is in discussion here.

1. Both provide and both do domestics
2. Hubby provide and wife do domestics.

And we are discussing model 2 here....

Caroline Danjuma is probably running model 2 and her husband provides so why is she in discussion here?

My question again is what is the use of a husband in model 2 who doesn't do domestics when he doesn't provide?

Such a man is as useless as a piece of furniture sad

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:37pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:

Forget about my world and what I believe grin
A wife who wants her primary role shared is laazy...
A man who can't perform his primary role is?
Answer my question above and stop dancing about

Bolade005:

You created a pseudo-scenerio in your head and we still beat you around it. Just resign yourself to fate and accept your primary role. Complain not and enjoy "it".

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:37pm On May 20, 2016
Mamatee07:


Such a man is as useless as a piece of furniture sad

Mama don vex!
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Mamatee07: 10:40pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:


Mama don vex!

It's true now, anyone who doesn't bring anything into a relationship is useless. It's the same as a housewife who expects the husband to come home and do all the domestic chores. Like you said what's he's own contribution? When someone takes over your responsibility you show gratitude by reliving him/her of some of theirs. It's common decency
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:50pm On May 20, 2016
bukatyne:
Answer my question above and stop dancing about

A man who used to provide and later find himself not capable is not to be blamed for anything. It will most certainly be as a result of factors far beyond him and I am sure a real man would do anything and everything to change the situation. He's just unlucky but a woman who can't perform her primary role is nothing but LAZY.
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by sweetcocoa(f): 10:53pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

You don't matter little one.

Let me tell you this, everyone's prayer for you is that you meet a man like us. Alpha-males like us that will do everything to provide for the family. Men who bring in the cash. If you cop yourself real men like us, then you're a winner.

When you grow up a bit, you'd understand.
Enyi move along abeg, we never see people wey stand, na the ones wey squat we go come see, Oboy shift abeg, alpha male, chai! I don suffer sha. grin

1 Like

Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:57pm On May 20, 2016
Bolade005:

A man who used to provide and later find himself not capable is not to be blamed for anything. It will most certainly be as a result of factors far beyond him and I am sure a real man would do anything and everything to change the situation. He's just unlucky but a woman who can't perform her primary role is nothing but LAZY.


A man who can't provide is unlucky
A woman who can do her primary duty is lazy..

Read 1 Tim 5 : 8

Let's see if the Bible agrees with you.
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by Bolade005: 10:57pm On May 20, 2016
sweetcocoa:
Enyi move along abeg, we never see people wey stand, na the ones wey squat we go come see, Oboy shift abeg.
You're a bitter young girl. Agbero oshi *in your own brother's voice*
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by bukatyne(f): 10:58pm On May 20, 2016
Mamatee07:


It's true now, anyone who doesn't bring anything into a relationship is useless. It's the same as a housewife who expects the husband to come home and do all the domestic chores. Like you said what's he's own contribution? When someone takes over your responsibility you show gratitude by reliving him/her of some of theirs. It's common decency

Common decent is not always common.
Re: Roles In The 'nigerian' Family by shaybebaby(f): 10:59pm On May 20, 2016
Mamatee07:


Such a man is as useless as a piece of furniture sad
Nope, as useless as the back of a spoon.

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