Got this from a friends post on FB wall
It got me cracking and i just have to share it here.

Roberts Mugabes latest quotes

1) "Some women's legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading".
✔Robert Mugabe, 2016

2) "It's hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire".
✔Robert Mugabe, 2016

3) "If you are ugly; you are ugly - stop talking about inner beauty because we don't walk around with X-rays".
✔Robert Mugabe, 2016

4) "Dear sister, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining. You are not an umbrella".
✔Robert Mugabe, 2016

Omo,this man is fucking trendy

You said 12

missmary:
You said 12

Coming dont be impatient

laff wan scatter my left auricle

Lalasticlacla pls feel free to add urs..

Comedian

China factory catches fire got me rolling on the floor.

5 'Check your girlfriends body, if she has more tattoos and piercing, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain '

The bitter truth.
The last grey haired African leader telling the truth.

6) ''Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face''

7) ''Its better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole she didnt even drill herself''

8 - ''Some girls can't even jog for 5minutes but expect a guy to last in bed for 2 hours? Your level of selfishness demand a one week crusade''

9) "If your girlfriend/boyfriend has not taken a picture with you before just make that request and stop forcing Photo Grid to bring you together.
✔Robert Mugabe, April 2016

10) "God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker".
✔Robert Mugabe, March 2016

11) "If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected Pen** in public

But this time he hits the jackpot...

12) "Swimming pool is much more useful than the Liverpool football club".
✔Robert Mugabe, May 19th, 2016

Abeg no be me talk am ooooo (liverpool fans dont come for my head)

These quotes are so funny. Nevertheless, I'm sure that a 91yrs old man wouldn't be trying to mimick 'I go die' them.