This is a copied and pasted post from reddit.
The advice worked for me.


Backstory: I had a huge problem lasting longer in bed and it was causing major insecurity issues. I started reading everything on how to fix it, and this is what worked best. Let me know if you have other ideas / thoughts / etc Lasting Longer Step One: Improving Your Sex Psychology If you go into sex thinking that you won’t last very long, you won’t . Sliding in with any sort of insecurities about your sexual abilities will make you cum much, much faster than you want to. And if you think about it biologically, it makes sense. The insecurity makes you stressed. Your body can tell that you’re stressed. The stress suggests that this isn’t a very safe environment for you to be naked with your eyes closed and not particularly ready to defend against one of these. So what does your body do when you’re stressed during sex? It reduces the amount of time you’re in a vulnerable state, either by making you cum quickly or not being able to get it up at all. Which means that you need to go into sex with a confident, positive outlook on how you’re going to perform. The best way to do that? Talk to your partner about it . If you bring up your concerns about how long you’re lasting and that you want to work on it with them, they’re not going to think less of you. Rather, they’ll think higher of you for wanting to improve this part of your relationship, and want to work on it with you. It’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, and you’ll find that just being open about it will solve half the problem on its own. Better, when you open up in this way and start to work on it, there are positive spillovers to other areas of life. It doesn’t just improve your communication and trust with your partner, it improves your confidence in yourself. No partner? No worries. You can easily do the exercises without one.

Lasting Longer Step Two: Daily Exercises for Lasting Longer Good news, there are only two things you need to do regularly to significantly increase your sexual longevity. It’s just kegels, and masturbation practice. And it’s an even 50% kegels, and 50% practice, so take the time for both. Exercise 1: Kegels (< 10 mins / day) If you do nothing else in this article, do this. The best way to improve your ejaculatory control is the strengthen the muscles that control ejaculation. Makes sense, right? Here’s what I want you to do (assuming you’re not in a public place): 1. Get naked 2. Put a finger or two on the skin between your legs behind your balls, but before your anus 3. Now imagine you’re trying to stop yourself from peeing. Flex that muscle. (This is also the muscle you flex to make your penis “dance” when it’s hard. Don’t give me that look, I know you’ve done it). 4. You should feel some movement where you put your fingers, and you might feel a bit of movement in your penis and balls. 5. Don’t flex your ass like you’re trying to show off your glutes, don’t flex your legs, and don’t flex your abs. Focus just on flexing that muscle. 6. If you’re really having trouble finding it, then drink a bunch of water, go pee, and try to stop yourself. There it is. This is called your Pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle, and while it can control the flow of urine it also controls your ejaculation . Strengthening it will make you last longer, and eventually even allow you to stop yourself from reaching the “point of no return” and quickly bring yourself down from near orgasm. To train it, we’re going to tie small weights to your penis, then you’re going to get hard and flex it to lift the weights. Okay just kidding, it’s a little easier than that. All you have to do to strengthen your PC muscle is an exercise called “kegels,” which involves flexing it over and over again. But, like any muscle, you can’t do the same thing over and over again and expect it to get much stronger. You need to keep increasing the difficulty. Thankfully, Emily Morse ( Sex with Emily) has a fantastic app called “Kegel Camp” that gives you specific directions on how long to clench for, and the different speeds to do it at. (If you’re on Android, you can use Kegel Trainer) As you do more of it, you “level up” in the app and start holding it longer and for more repetitions. You’ll start seeing serious improvements in your sexual longevity around level 8+. caption: I assume this would have a really high conversion rate I set an IFTTT reminder to ping me 3 times a day to make sure I didn’t forget. You don’t have to do it that frequently, once a day is fine, but doing it 2 to 3 times a day will get you there faster. Once you get to level 20 you can cut back and just do it for maintenance. But like any muscle, when you stop using it you’ll get weaker. So keep training.

Exercise 2: Masturbation & Edging (10-30 mins / day) If you want to last longer, you have to start masturbating differently. Many guys who have trouble lasting a long time have gotten themselves into bad habits from how they masturbate. If you typically open the spank bank, go full jackhammer on your dick and finish up in a minute or two then yeah, you’re not going to have much staying power with the real deal. Here’s your new rule for masturbating: nothing less than 10 minutes. I don’t care if you have to spend 8 of those minutes just staring at it, you can’t let yourself cum in less than 10 minutes. Once that’s comfortable, up it to 15, then 20.

A quick escalation straight to cumming. To last much longer, you’re going to train yourself to have your “pleasure graph” look more like this: (link to pic ) This is done through “edging,” which you’ll do during sex later but also need to incorporate into your masturbation. Here’s how it works: 1. Start masturbating, and get yourself up to a 7 out of 10 on the arousal scale. (You’ll just have to subjectively decide what this is for you, it’ll be easier to identify with practice). 2. Stop, and let yourself simmer down to a 5. 3. Now work up to an 8, and then stop again and let yourself slide down to a 6 4. Up to 9, down to 7 5. Up to 9.5, down to 7 again. A 9.5 is just before the point of no return when you know there’s nothing you can do. 6. Repeat the 9.5 to 7 cycle over and over again until you get past 10 minutes. Then you can let yourself go, and you’ll notice this makes your orgasms WAY stronger. As you’re getting more aroused, remember the STAB technique (yeah that’s right, I invented a new sex acronym) to slow yourself down: Squeeze : Squeeze your PC muscles HARD like you’re doing a really intense kegel. Hold them for at least 10 seconds, but the longer you can hold the more you’ll come down. (You might also have success doing a couple shorter ~5 second holds, or a bunch of really short 1 second holds) Think : Think about something else Avoid : Change your stroke (avoid the head) instead of stopping entirely Breathe : Take deep, diaphragmatic (with your stomach) breaths Ideally, you should combine all of them, but start with one and then add others in until it becomes second nature. If you’re serious, then set aside 30 minutes a night for this. The more you practice the better. If you have a partner you’d rather do this with, tell them what you’re working on, and ask them to help you either with manual / mouth stimulation or by having slow sex with a lot of stopping and starting. My guess is that he/she’ll be more than enthusiastic to help you improve this part of your sex life. This will get easier as you practice and as you strengthen your PC muscles. It will be very tempting to just let yourself go when you’re hitting those 9.5 peaks, but trust me, exercising like this will be worth it. Plus it’s a lot of fun.

Lasting Longer Step Three: Techniques During Sex Time for the actual deed. If you’ve been doing your training, then you’re already going to last much longer in bed. But wait, there’s more! These next four strategies will significantly improve your staying power, just by strategically applying the same principles we’ve already been using. Strategic pre-intimacy Ordering pre-intimacy frequently goes in this order, because women typically expect men to initiate the next stage of sex: Kissing / touching -> Cunnilingus -> Felatio -> Sex There’s an obvious problem though: you’re going straight from intense oral stimulation to sex. That’s no bueno. You want to be going into sex at a 4 or 5, not at an 8. Here’s what you do. You’re already talking to your partner about lasting longer (unless you skipped down here, shame on you), so tell her that it’d be better if you got her off once manually (to get her warmed up more), then she went down on you, then you went down on her after. Kissing / touching -> Get her off once manually -> Felatio -> Cunnilingus -> Sex When you’re receiving oral, after you get to 9.5 a couple times (same edging technique as before, just this time you yell “stop” at the peaks), switch it up so you can cool down while you go down on her and get her off a few times. Also, tell her to push against your PC muscle (using two or three fingers, or a fist, works well) while she’s going down on you. It makes you last longer and feels great, but it’s pretty hard to do during actual sex. Getting a cooldown period with no stimulation like you get while going down on her will increase how long you last significantly, and make your orgasm more intense. Alternatively, depending on how long your refractory periods are, you could get off when she’s going down on you then recover for round two (which lasts longer) while going down on her. Up to you. Using Positions for Edging Now getting your partner to edge you during pre-intimacy is easy, but during sex it’s a little different. You don’t want to keep stopping and starting thrusting since that’s going to be frustrating for her, and it’ll make you feel self conscious and start worrying about cumming too soon. Instead, you can edge yourself just by switching up positions. Some positions will move you up arousal stages faster. Others, less so. It’s a combination of: 1. Friction (more = faster) 2. Direction of motion (thrusting = faster, back and forth = slower) 3. Control (you moving = faster, her moving = slower) 4. Your position (standing = slowest, supporting with your arms (e.g. missionary) = fastest) A position with her legs more closed (more friction) plus you doing the thrusting while lying down (e.g. missionary) will be high stimulation and get you off faster. But a position with her legs spread and you standing or kneeling will be much lower stimulation. Same story if she’s on top of you moving back and forth instead of up and down. If you’re not sure what I mean by “back and forth” (vs “thrusting”) well… this is the only way to explain it (SUPER NSFW). You need to find your “low stim” and “high stim” positions. Get in the high stim positions when you’re at a 5 or 6, then switch to low stim positions when you’re at an 8 or 9 to bring it back down. Most importantly, while you’re switching, take a few seconds to squeeze your PC muscles! Breathing This is a short one, but important: the way you breathe affects how quickly you cum. You’ve heard about how you can trick yourself into being happier by making yourself smile, right? Well you can also make yourself more or less aroused by changing your breathing. If you want to bring yourself down, slow your breathing and make sure they’re deep belly breaths. Taking quick breaths in your shoulders and chest is what you do when you’re about to cum, so if you’re doing that, your body thinks you’re close. Breathe like you’re fine and you’ll become fine. MOST IMPORTANT: Clamp When You Get Too Close Those first three tips will help you stay in the 5-9 range. But what happens when you get to 9.9 and you don’t think there’s any way to stop yourself from cumming? Here’s what training those PC muscles has led to. Assuming you’ve gotten them strong enough, all you need to do to bring yourself back from that “point of no return” is stop thrusting and clamp down HARD like a long kegel hold (or a combination of shorter ones if you found that worked better for you). The longer you squeeze for, the more you’ll come down. With practice you can take yourself from a 9.9 to a 6 or 7 in a few seconds, and add another ~5 minutes to your sex. Here’s the catch though: it works better the closer you are to cumming when you do it, so you’re going to have some misfires. But with practice, you’ll start noticing when is the right time to squeeze, and you’ll get better and better at pulling yourself back from the edge. Go Forth... And that’s it. One psychological change, two exercises to keep you in good sexual shape, three techniques to manage how quickly you heat up, and then the last second squeeze to bring you back. That’s all you need. It’s just a matter of execution. Do the exercises, be open with your partner about what you’re working on, and you’ll see results in less than a month. And if there was anything in the article you want more info on, let me know in the comments!

na oil work?