How to Experience Sexual Intimacy with your Spouse
1. You must understand that sexual intimacy is a process of love making: you must distinguish between sexual and lovemaking. Sex is only a part of lovemaking while sexual intimacy involves mutual and total commitment to each other, sex is a biological action. Lovemaking is a relational experience, where the focus is the happiness of the other partner.
2. The importance of good communication (Prov. 7:58): In this scripture, the man communicates his admiration of his love to her. How often do you tell your spouse how beautiful he or she is? While having sex, you need to communicate your enjoyment of the process and how you are feeling at the moment of the action. The man should sometimes ask his wife whether she has reached her orgasm (the point of sexual pleasure or fulfillment)? Communication is key in bringing satisfaction of your spouse because it removes assumptions from the relationship and the act of sex. It helps to know what your spouse wants in bed so that your sex life will not be mechanical.
3. Make room for each other’s sexual desire: Spouses also need to be sensitive to each other’s needs and conditions like period of illness, pain, fasting e.t.c. But you must not abstain from sex too long. For the man to meet the desire of his wife sexually he must know her desires, that’s where communications comes in. you must know that women’s sexual desire start from the brain or heart. Give her more emotional attention. Give her more gestures of love during the day e.g. kissing her, touching her sensitive parts, speaking powerful word of love or singing, buy her gifts, send her love texts messages from the office and help her with some house chores.
4. Sequel intimacy will not be achieved when the husband and wife are in conflict. To experience sexual intimacy, couples must deal with the issues of beliefs, core values, and mutual perspective and shared goals about lovemaking in their relationship.
5. Time and frequency: how often do you get intimate with your spouse? How long do you spend in the act of sex itself? The average recommendation in terms of frequency in sex is at least twice a week. In relation to timing, that is how long in a particular act of sex, you must know that for the man, it takes only two minutes to reach orgasm but your wife takes about 7 to 14 minutes to reach her orgasm so the man must spend enough time in pre-intimacy and communicating to her feelings or speak love languages to her to turn her on, before the intercourse.
6. The man must understand the part(s) of his wife body that turn her on sexually: one major organ of a woman that is very important in bringing her to the point of sexual satisfaction is the femalecore.

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