zugoboss:

U said u needed opinions & someone gave u one & u're pissed off so what do u really want? Assuming u were the one will u get married to a second hand woman that has been married for over 10yrs with kids? when there are lots of fresh young ladies out there only a widower or divorcee will do that plus the kids which are extra burden.Truth is bitter

Ujujoan:

Who wants second-hand when there are new ones all over ?

Sorry. Dint mean to offend you. But no man wants the extra baggage. They'll rather be with a woman who they r sure her first child is theirs. I dont want to marry a man with kids myself!!

LuvAfrican:

[b]I NEED SOME SERIOUS FRIENDLY AND HONEST ADVICE, what is the real reason men are afraid to marry a women that has children, Brief summer: I was married for ten years to an African American man, at some point he became lazy and decided that he wanted to be a house dad, while I bring home the bacon and cook it too, well I struggle with the thought of divorce because at this point, we had three children. However, after being separated for a while, I met an African and fell head over hills with this man, no offense to my AA brothers, but after this guy, I didn’t even want to look at an African American man anymore….And still don’t….Well we were together for 4years strong and then somewhere he fell off and decided that he no longer wanted to be faithful. This is after we had a kid together, so in conclusion, what went wrong My heart tells me he may have realized that he bit off more than he could chew, I don’t know but it seems that women with kids are frowned upon…….why is this??   Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

However, after being separated for a while, I met an African and fell head over hills with this man, no offense to my AA brothers, but after this guy, I didn’t even want to look at an African American man anymore….And still don’t….

zugoboss:

U said u needed opinions & someone gave u one & u're pissed off so what do u really want? Assuming u were the one will u get married to a second hand woman that has been married for over 10yrs with kids? when there are lots of fresh young ladies out there only a widower or divorcee will do that plus the kids which are extra burden.Truth is bitter

LuvAfrican:

[b]I NEED SOME SERIOUS FRIENDLY AND HONEST ADVICE, what is the real reason men are afraid to marry a women that has children, Brief summer: I was married for ten years to an African American man, at some point he became lazy and decided that he wanted to be a house dad, while I bring home the bacon and cook it too, well I struggle with the thought of divorce because at this point, we had three children. However, after being separated for a while, I met an African and fell head over hills with this man, no offense to my AA brothers, but after this guy, I didn’t even want to look at an African American man anymore….And still don’t….Well we were together for 4years strong and then somewhere he fell off and decided that he no longer wanted to be faithful. This is after we had a kid together, so in conclusion, what went wrong My heart tells me he may have realized that he bit off more than he could chew, I don’t know but it seems that women with kids are frowned upon…….why is this??   Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

LuvAfrican:

[b]I NEED SOME SERIOUS FRIENDLY AND HONEST ADVICE, what is the real reason men are afraid to marry a women that has children, Brief summer: I was married for ten years to an African American man, at some point he became lazy and decided that he wanted to be a house dad, while I bring home the bacon and cook it too, well I struggle with the thought of divorce because at this point, we had three children. However, after being separated for a while, I met an African and fell head over hills with this man, no offense to my AA brothers, but after this guy, I didn’t even want to look at an African American man anymore….And still don’t….Well we were together for 4years strong and then somewhere he fell off and decided that he no longer wanted to be faithful. This is after we had a kid together, so in conclusion, what went wrong My heart tells me he may have realized that he bit off more than he could chew, I don’t know but it seems that women with kids are frowned upon…….why is this??   Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
please dont take it the wrong way but the fact that this second guy left you has absolutely nothing to do with being a single mother because if it were he wouldnt have gotten you pregnant.(this is simple mathematics)
you have to look at other avenues for he reason of him leaving you. . . . . . . . . having children from a previous marriage aint it.
what went wrong is that, like in any relationship out there(single motyher or not), these guys decided that they didnt want to be faithful/with you any longer.
as harsh as it may sound,the reason could be anything, it could be that you are a very difficult person to live with or that you changed drastically over the years or just that they wanted something more that you couldnt offer them. before looking at what flaw THEY may have, you might also want to look at what flaw YOU may have.
the fact that it happened to you shouldnt be a reason to believe that all men frown upon single mothers and if it is REALLY a big deal then go find single fathers to date. . . . . . . .problem solved!
ps: just my humble opinion.

LuvAfrican:

Thanks for the replies…, However, there are different situations in life SO EVERY WOMAN WITH KIDS SHOULDN'T BE ABASHED!!!!!! Immature minds will think just as you are, for the record I been with my husband since the age of seventeen, so my kids are the result of an 11 year marriage. Regretfully, things didn’t work-out…, Anyway, good luck and again thanks for the replies, I’m way to mature TO INTERTAIN NON SENSE THE ONLY RESASON I ASK WAS FOR MATURE HELPFUL ADVICE,

Ujujoan:

You might think what I said was immature, but its the harsh reality. Its good for you, you had a good marraige but lost it, you expect every man to beleive it was your ex's fault? Even if you were right, most men wont want to take the chances.

Why do you think Men dont want to marry single women in their mid/late 30s. Nobody wants someone who they think have been rejected by others. And then imagine if she has children!!

I'm a lady, single one at that, so I'm totally on your side. But we have to face the truth okay?

tensor777:

This is because in African culture men prefer to marry virgins.

kellorah:

Cos your child/ren will always come first in your life and they're not able to ompete with that; and they obviously don't want to share u with someone else. . . . .esp; if it's another man's kid/s!

And their father will always be in your life, as long as he's in his kids'. That means your current boo bumping into your ex when your ex comes to take the kid/s out, etc.

tensor777:

This is because in African culture men prefer to marry virgins.