woman with 1 child, easy peezy no problemo
woman with 2 children, will struggle to manage but i should be able to cope depending on the age of the kids.
woman with 3 children, now dats wall they call full baggage

GEW:

pls leave the woman alone-*-. there are many childless single women who are of no good to themselves and society. this lady was once single without any child. nobody knows tomorrow. if all you bring into a relationship is you dont have a child but have slept on many beds as river niger cam accomodate what good is that?

do i suspect u dont know any rejected childless songles?

stop over flogging this singleness especially knowing what you know. last time i checked kids were not some new virus.

Who made her a victim here? As far as I'm concerned, she's making herself one!! For christ sakes she once had a lovely home and she has her kids to show for it. She's better than so many women out there.

Kids are not some virus, but you have to admit nobody wants the extra trouble. Personally, I'll only marry a man with kids if he's my last choice. Not because I hate kids, but I want my hubby's children to be mine too.

Having kids is not a sign of irresponsibility on either the part of the man or the part of the woman. But the fact that those children exist is bound to cause extra strain on the marriage. As if getting married is not enough wahala!!

generally speaking, marrying single dad/mom is like swallowing a bile. all the "i love u' before marriage is more likely turns "i'm not sure anymore" after the 6th month.

ok

Cos they are not worth the stress.

unless if you're still willing to bring in the bacon.

then the man can b a full time hubby with pocket money to go chasing after other gals

why are painting this issue to make the poster happy.
@poster will marry a man with 3 children?
nobody wants a burden which you and your children are to a man now.
go and beg your ex and learn to tolerate each other shortcomings. it may sound weird but it is the truth. moreover you're predisposed to your ex bumping now and now at least for his children, it is possible that some fire may rekindle,

na who wan carry tokunbo and bukata put for house?abeg beds birds of the same feather flock fok together.

@ ujujoan,
i admire ladies like you, calling a spade a spade. u work with your head not your emotions, ur type is rare. most ladies get unnecesarily emotional over straight forward issues, guess that's why lots of them are so gullible when it comes to matters of d heart & faith. (no offence meant)
By the way is that ur daughter? wld like to know u.

CHARLOE:

@ ujujoan,
i admire ladies like you, calling a spade a spade. u work with your head not your emotions, your type is rare. most ladies get unnecesarily emotional over straight forward issues, guess that's why lots of them are so gullible when it comes to matters of d heart & faith. (no offence meant)
By the way is that your daughter? wld like to know u.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,he be like say another thing wan start?shey na the daughter you like or the mama?anyways,we the amebos are watching

wetin

anytime i tell most guys i have a kid, they are always in shock and 70% of them never call me after that.
I have decided to live with my fate and hope someday out there, i will find true love

I think it has something to with the dilated female cunt. No miracle of physics can stop the wear and tear that comes with pushing out a baby's head.

qblaze:

I think it has something to with the dilated womanliness. No miracle of physics can stop the wear and tear that comes with pushing out a baby's head.

if a husband can stick to his wife after multiple child birth and enjoy the toto then i dont see the problem with finding a woman that has had children in the past.
its all in your head, the fact that you think about the toto rather than how the person is (feelings etc) will always make you fail.
btw some women have c-section(ceasarean) which means the toto stay ¨undamaged¨

no woman in her right mind would love to have a child out of wedlock or to loose her marriage after a child. why people would label them remains a thing of concern to me but anyways, there is nothing wrong wt having a child wtout a hussy is not a bad thing. interested men should just open his heart to see the woman inside the body and that would be the first step to a fulfilling life for them both.

Children are a blessing

Not a drawback.

Having a child makes people value life and time more, and forces them to act and live more responsibly.

Personal preference will not allow me to date a single mother.

To analyze your post thoughl, if this man was with you for 4 long years, it beats my understanding to see how you reached the conclusion that he disposed of you because you have children. Methinketh it's got more to do with your "person" than your children. Don't get me wrong, there are men out there who won't take a second look at you because you have children, for reasons previous responders have given; however, like I said, if two long-term relationships have dissolved, maybe you need to figure out what you are doing wrong to drive them off?

achinu:

The african culture compared to the western culture from my experience does not readily accept women with kids whether the members on the forum agree or not. It takes a certain type of individual to love someone another individual child like it's theirs. I personally have dated a single mom with a child, children in a relationship changes the dynamics of the relation. I've seen it over & over, can a relationship like that workout? Absolutely! But it takes a lot of commitment

. Yeah Achinu, i want 2 flow along wit u dat dis hype about single mothers has a lot 2do wit d african culture. In african, d norm is a woman 2a man. Where d reverse is dcase.D african culture consequently views a single mother or a woman 4rm a previous marriage as either unstable or unreliable. But lyk achinu said, in cases where dman eso k wit dsituation, luv & commitment wil play an important role. Take care

Thanks to everyone for your comments good and bad, it has helped me better understand my situation, I'm no longer concerned with finding a Mr. right I have decided to just allow god to work it out, I'm truly thankful for the insights on this post even the harsh comments, because it has allowed me to do a lot of reflecting…. again thanks to all and God bless….For the record, for those who stated that perhaps I did something that caused guy #2 to cheat…(that’s a possibility, I definitely had my fair share in our issues he wanted me to divorce right away…However, where I’m from divorces are not a one day process…there is just so much involved) Inaddition, I felt that he was struggling with his commitment due to the kids(maybe I’m wrong because we have talked about it and he denied that kids were an issue, Moreover, I also understand that in the African culture family dictates a lot so even if he accepted me getting to his family would have been too much of an issue for him I assume) …, #2 FOR THOES THAT THINK I RAN OUT ON MY HUSBAND THAT’S FAR FROM THE THUTH…I DEALT WITH HIS LAZINNESS FOR YEARS, B/T JOBS, NO JOBS, FIGHTING, AND SO MUCH MORE…I FINALLY REALIZED THAT MY KIDS NEEDED A BETTER FOUNDATION SO THEY WOULD HAVE A BRIGHTER FUTURE…I REFUSE TO RAISE MY KIDS ON THE SYSTEM THAT OUR GROVENMENT PROVIDES BECAUSE IT CONTROLS US AND LABE US AS USELESS MEMBERS OF SOCITEY…SO I HAD TO MAKE A DICISION AND I Decided THAT IT WAS TIME TO LEAVE…, TODAY I HAVE NO REGRETTS ABOUT MY DIVORCE, I WORK FULL TIME, SCHOOL PART-TIME,(WITH MY 4 LOVELY KIDS) IM DOING MY THING!!!!! IM HAPPY APART FROM MY PERSONAL LIFE (ROMANCE) EVERTHING ELSE IS A BLESSING…

LuvAfrican:

Thanks to everyone for your comments good and bad, it has helped me better understand my situation, I'm no longer concerned with finding a Mr. right I have decided to just allow god to work it out, I'm truly thankful for the insights on this post even the harsh comments, because it has allowed me to do a lot of reflecting…. again thanks to all and God bless….For the record, for those who stated that perhaps I did something that caused guy #2 to cheat…(that’s a possibility, I definitely had my fair share in our issues he wanted me to divorce right away…However, where I’m from divorces are not a one day process…there is just so much involved) Inaddition, I felt that he was struggling with his commitment due to the kids(maybe I’m wrong because we have talked about it and he denied that kids were an issue, Moreover, I also understand that in the African culture family dictates a lot so even if he accepted me getting to his family would have been too much of an issue for him I assume) …, #2 FOR THOES THAT THINK I RAN OUT ON MY HUSBAND THAT’S FAR FROM THE THUTH…I DEALT WITH HIS LAZINNESS FOR YEARS, B/T JOBS, NO JOBS, FIGHTING, AND SO MUCH MORE…I FINALLY REALIZED THAT MY KIDS NEEDED A BETTER FOUNDATION SO THEY WOULD HAVE A BRIGHTER FUTURE…I REFUSE TO RAISE MY KIDS ON THE SYSTEM THAT OUR GROVENMENT PROVIDES BECAUSE IT CONTROLS US AND LABE US AS USELESS MEMBERS OF SOCITEY…SO I HAD TO MAKE A DICISION AND I Decided THAT IT WAS TIME TO LEAVE…, TODAY I HAVE NO REGRETTS ABOUT MY DIVORCE, I WORK FULL TIME, SCHOOL PART-TIME,(WITH MY 4 LOVELY KIDS) IM DOING MY THING!!!!! IM HAPPY APART FROM MY PERSONAL LIFE (ROMANCE) EVERTHING ELSE IS A BLESSING…

So count your blessings my dear!! Like I said before, you have a lot already. Most women cant boast of what you have. Dont go feeling like a victim because life wont give you more . . . .

@Ujujoan!!!!!

Very bitter pill but I swallowed!!!!!! Thanks and God Bless!!!!!!!!!!!!

Simply cos the hole is too wide now,

Kave:

Simply cos the hole is too wide now,

@ LuvAfrican

put a pic of urself on ur profile, there might be some brothers in da house that might be interested

To be frank, the idea of raising some other man's kids makes my skin crawl.
Training another man's kid because you like their mum and their dad is somewhere in the wings?
If the bio-dad is late then that's different but when he is alive somewhere waiting for the right time to come confuse the kids?
I'd rather go do direct debit donation to homeless people as at least that one is not thankless.
Look at it however you like , its no way near ideal.
Its just an unfortunate situation and i dont want to find myself in one.
chikena!!

@na2day,

Why would I post my pic o hehehe!!!! , So that one of your peeps can post it on one of those sugar-daddy websites, then be living good in Lagos some where, collecting U.S dollars on my behalf, !!!!! Hey please don’t all attack me at once, it was a joke, LOL!!!!! I love this site I have never laughed so much….I’m going to tell all my fellow Americans of my wonderful discovery!!!!!!!!!!

because to some men, they are no go areas, i mean no toasting

Ujujoan you cannot be more wrong. She said they were together 4 years. You do not stay with someone for four years before you realize that the children are the issue. They were there when he came in so it does not make sense here. If he had dated her for 2 months and left then that is different. He simply found someone else and used the fact that she had kids as a reason to not be responsible. People with children marry everyday and it takes a mature man or woman to marry someone with kids. Don't come into their lives and leave after 4 years and say it is because of the kids. That's just nonsense.

LuvAfrican:

@na2day,

                    Why would I post my pic o hehehe!!!! ,  So that one of your peeps can post it on one of those sugar-daddy websites, then be living good in Lagos some where, collecting U.S dollars on my behalf,    !!!!! Hey please don’t all attack me at once, it was a joke, LOL!!!!! I love this site I have never laughed so much….I’m going to tell all my fellow Americans of my wonderful discovery!!!!!!!!!!

i strongly urge u not to give our hide out to your fellow americans, we like to stay hidden, we just like to control the world from behind by sending out our obamas  

Outstrip:

Ujujoan you cannot be more wrong. She said they were together 4 years. You do not stay with someone for four years before you realize that the children are the issue. They were there when he came in so it does not make sense here. If he had dated her for 2 months and left then that is different. He simply found someone else and used the fact that she had kids as a reason to not be responsible. People with children marry everyday and it takes a mature man or woman to marry someone with kids. Don't come into their lives and leave after 4 years and say it is because of the kids. That's just nonsense.

Yes, but a r/ship is different from marrige. A r/ship no matter how long has a time limit . . Marriage is lasting!! Maybe he cared about her or enjoyed the r/ship long enough but the thought of marrying her is a not going down well with him.

Besides she didnt say he left because of the kids, she's just assumung!!

People with kids marry everyday, but some people just can't do it. You might call them immature, but it dosent change the fact that they dont want that. I wont marry a man with children, even if I date him for 10 years. It's okay to call me immature

First of all Uju I did not say that everyone who choses not to marry someone with kids in immature. read my post again. I said it takes a mature person to do it. Now back to the man staying and having a child with her before deciding to split I actually thought she was married to him already. It still was not the nicest thing to do to be with her for 4 years and then decide that they were not for him but the poster should be mature enough to not get pregnant. After having kids three times you should be able to understand birth control by now or did you guys plan it