about to wed

l have a fiance whom I have not made love to nor even kiss him l only just met him once and we've never dated yet his on my next to marry me. Will this work out for me?

My sis.I would advice u to take more time to know about this guy of urs.If u feel u guys are meant for each other in terms of behaviour,family background,belief etc,because without these things,your relationship will not result into wot u expect.GOODLUCK.

Baby, u are a very lucky lady. Go closer to him and know him better, but do not make the mistake of wasting so much time in knowing him. If he has some good qualities u want from a man, say YES, that u are ready for marriage and I believe as time goes on, and couple with ur prayers, you will definetely end up loving him. Good husbands are very scarce nowadays. I wish u the best of luck

I don't think it will work that easily. Spend time learning more about each other. Are you truly ready to settle down with one man for life?

I agree with Seun. Marriage is not something to rush into. You do not want to tie yourself down to someone you might end up disliking. All that glitters is not gold. Take your time to get to know him better because actions speak louder than words. Lastly, people pretend a lot, it just takes time for their true character to come out. Don't feel pressured to marry him because as females, the society makes us feel like our biological clock is running out at a certain age.  Well, take care and good luck with your decision.

dis is sooo funny u'v not evevvvven kissed him!! gurl hold up!! i'm abt 2 call in my therapist in hurr lemme see wat shez gatt 2 say abt dis!!

Hmmmmm.....I no fit talk.

Don't feel pressured to marry him because as females, the society makes us feel like our biological clock is running out at a certain age.

Look:
- Most men are willing to marry women who are younger than them.
- Most men are wiling to marry women who are the same age, or older (but cuter) and respectful.
- Most women are only willing to date men who are older and more mature.

So if you're a lady, then your biological clock is running out pretty fast. And whose fault is that? It is your fault, because you are unwilling to marry men who are younger than you.

By the time you are 30, all the good men who are older than you will be married. At this point, you will either stop dating or start going out with married men or old-for-nothing bachelors. Younger men will be available, but you will be unwilling to go out with them. This is what we mean when we say a woman's biological clock has run out. Such a woman is on her way to becoming what we call an old maid.

Ok, now that this is out of the way, let's go back to the topic. Advice our soon-to-be-engaged lady.

Hunnie.. i don't think you are ready for marriage. Come one now, you ain't kissed him yet? You've only met him once? Is it an arranged marriage?

Well, whichever way hun... u need to know more about your "soon to be husband". And if you are sure you know him enough, Go for it. You know you can always divorce him when stuffs don't work out.

hot-angel:

Hunnie.. i don't think you are ready for marriage. Come one now, you ain't kissed him yet? You've only met him once? Is it an arranged marriage?

Well, whichever way hun... u need to know more about your "soon to be husband". And if you are sure you know him enough, Go for it. You know you can always divorce him when stuffs don't work out.

Pls what gives u the impression she ain't ready for marriage cos she hasn't kissed the guy? See that as far as i'm concerned does not matter. Not all relationships are based on that.

@ pearldrops,
Fine cos he's talking bout marriage does not make him unserious. The guy may actually be planning for the future. First get to know the guy.If u get to know him more.. by that i mean really spending time with him, if he's what u want then go for it. U don't have to sleep with a guy before he talks of marriage. Unfortunately, its just our mentality of indulging in premarital sex that makes us judge at times.

If or not what u've got will work, will depend on u and not really on what any one says.

hmmmm.....he'll say anything to get in ur panties
is he nigerian? cos that's part of their vocabulary

da808cutie:

hmmmm.he'll say anything to get in your undies
is he nigerian? because that's part of their vocabulary

I agree.................but what if he's for real.

puh-leez......its 2005. i doubt a normal man of today dont wanna "hit it" first ...._{(excuse my french)}

the fact is l DONT LOVE him there's no element of likeness he loves me stupidly but l cant bring my self to loving him not even liking him.
my plan is to run away from the marriage.

Come is it an arranged marriage or what? What r u running from? Tell him u ain't down with him and move on.

you met him once, yes. but do not be deceived by his present status. your mind will always see his good sides. just try by telling him you want to tidy up somethings by then you'll be studying him secretly. date him for a while and find out if he is your man.

it's easily said than done
it's not an arranged marriage

pearldrops:

it's easily said than done
it's not an arranged marriage

So what is the problem? If u say u don't like him, and its not an arranged thing, why not leave him? Whats hard in telling the guy u r through

Or is there something else u ain't saying?

pearldrops, don't be silly, just let us know the exact story behind this your post. I am quite sure if there wasn't any atom of likeness for this man, you wouldn't have posted this topic in the first place. I will advice you to go closer to this man and know him for good. If he possesses what u want from a man, my sister pleeeeeze better get hooked before another lady does it before you.

Baby, you are a beautiful young lady, endowered with a possessive and charming eyes. I guess the man in question must have seen those things I saw u in you    and that is why he's talking about marriage without hitting the Gee Spot. Honey, get to know him and see if he's your man.

ADVICE You are not getting younger ooo

Kenflavor, U described pearldrop, as if u guys have met. May be u guys know each other, for u to decribe her as charming and with a possive eyes,i will advice her to wait for u then.

To be serious now, How is the guys in question asking her hand in marrige? may be he feels, he does not want to waste his precious time seeking just friendship and looking 4 the honey pot, he want the whole thing it self.

Kindly note that u have to study the whole situation well before leaping and don't be adviced by inexpreinece people who they themselve does not have a BF/GF talk less of having a serious relation. Some are too young to be giving advice on marraige.

No apology

fixed odds thats what l call it with all these passes u made in your last post why dont l wait for you?

na wa o, wonders will never cease.

well,i think u arent being thruthfull to us here,did u meet dis guy urself and he just said he wants to marry u or wat?
u dont know anything abt him,wat makes u think its not married some were,dont be fooled,this things happened.

I heard you do not like him, so whats all the fuss?

here is half version of the whole thing.
first this guy use to be my sister's friend and there was this time he came in from ph to calabar where l school with two of his friends,then my sister already called my friend(girl) and l to join her where she was this was 5/6 months or more ago.
l had forgotten totally about that visit untill one day l got a call from this guy  we got talking he sounded interesting and matured he would talk 2/3 hours in a day on phone at different intervals.He would call at mid night and first thing in the morning to knw how my day would look like but there was this crazy part of his numerous phone calls which was the part of wanting to know when and where l was when l last made to,to whom,how l got bleeped to the xtend of wanting to hear how l scream,it was fun at first,he  would call when am having sex and ask me to leave the phone on he wants to hear me scream it turns him off and how many guys am having it with at that moment,he even went as far as knowing my sexuallity.
it went on like this for some time.we discused marriage on phone how and where when and what to do we even went as far as involving my mum l liked him on phone that was becos l did not know who he was till the weekend he asked me to come finalize the plans when l got to ph the minute l saw him that was when l realize l did not love him afterall and he never posses any of the qualities l needed in a man.
am scared to tell be cos l might be breaking his heart at the same time am scared becos he loves me with his last blood,besides my mum  when she found out l did not want to marry him she had to talk to me about love and like that love grows l will love him as time goes.
l dont want to say no now becos he will be coming over by dec to do his introduction l want my family to know and see why l dont want to get hooked to him then after that l would tell him NO

@pearldrops
I think with those your numerous pictures u have on this forum, I was only trying to say, may be the guy must have thought he had found a beautiful girl.

I am very sorry, I never knew I am not allowed to be nice to you. Point of correction, I am not digging, I was only trying to add colour to your post. I think it should be that way, since we call ourselves a family (NL)

@ahoy LT
I have seen about 5 of her pix on this forum and that was how I got to know that she's pwety. May be she is or she is not, I guess u should try to look for those her pix.

ahoy LT:

Kindly note that u have to study the whole situation well before leaping and don't be adviced by inexpreinece people who they themselve does not have a BF/GF talk less of having a serious relation. Some are too young to be giving advice on marraige.

No apology

I disagree with you, I am cock sure we have young guys that are here and they are much more matured in thinking and know how to give good advice. People like goodguy and Layi, they will never thought of calling their elders names and that is why they are all well respected in the forum.

pearldrops:

<snip>
how l scream,it was fun at first,he would call when am having sex and ask me to leave the phone on he wants to hear me scream it turns him off and how many guys am having it with at that moment,he even went as far as knowing my sexuallity.

I'm not been judgemental but me thinks this is an unusual relationship ...

ohhhh silly me, why did I contribute in the first place?

Tales by moonlight

ok ken thankx for your compliment

pearldrops:

but there was this crazy part of his numerous phone calls which was the part of wanting to know when and where l was when l last made to,to whom,how l got bleeped to the xtend of wanting to hear how l scream,it was fun at first,he  would call when am having sex and ask me to leave the phone on he wants to hear me scream it turns him off and how many guys am having it with at that moment,he even went as far as knowing my sexuallity.

ok, emm that would really bother me if a guy asked that from me. like are you serious? that's rather odd and no offence girl but I find it utterly disgusting. He sure does sound like a pervert .But oh well, that's just what I think.

so the advice part, you  might have led him on, maybe unknowingly but that doesn't mean the situation is totally helpless. you should really come out clean with your feelings and tell him you don't love him at all, not to talk of loving him enough to marry him. ok, so you're scared of hurting him, but would you rather you spend the rest of your life with someone you don't love and end up in emotional distress? you've got to put your feelings into consideration girl and end it now before you take a step that will ruin your happiness. Tell your mum, dad, sister, family..........who ever! i'm pretty sure they'll understand. Finally, pray! there's amazing powers in it! ask God to guide you through because you sure can't do it without him. I sincerly do hope all of this works out well for you.

SOUND LIKE A AH AH ah....
congrats!!!!
wait, what do you know about him?