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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help (95386 Views)
"Why I Proposed To My Girlfriend With N2 Million Dummy Cheque" - Nigerian Man / She's HIV Positive, How Do I Tell Her?? / I Proposed To A Lady The First Time I Saw Her And She Accepted On The Spot (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by histemple: 1:27am On Jun 20, 2016 |
EgunMogaji: If you review all my responses, you will never point out any RUDE or DENIGRATING remark while contesting your views or projecting mine. However, I will want to plead with you to stop quoting my submissions if it's difficult for you to make your points without resorting to insults. Words/phrases like "your frankly immature submissions", "obtuse data", etc are not ones I can entertain for long. Thank you. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 1:32am On Jun 20, 2016 |
histemple: Stop wearing your ego on your short sleeves and stick to the discussion on hand. Your request is denied and I will continue to quote you if necessary to counter any continued insensible points that you make. No one here is your slave, so you don't get to make demands. No data, and I included one from a renowned source, supports your individual and unproven and incorrect opinion that a non positive woman will get an HIV infection from an HIV positive man with 100% surety from a single sexual encounter. It's just plain wrong and silly. http://www.catie.ca/en/pif/summer-2012/putting-number-it-risk-exposure-hiv 1 Like
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Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by virtual3xpert: 1:45am On Jun 20, 2016 |
The level of stigma reeking off this thread is unbelievable! 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by 9jaRonin(m): 1:45am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Gasout: Op, for a matter as serious and sensitive as this which affects one's life, health and well being you have delibrately chosen NOT to seek/ignore advice from experienced professionals (health personnel) and come to Nairaland (of all places) to receive advice? If your story is true then I feel sorry for your fianceè and not for you.....she fell in love with the wrong guy. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by abike12(f): 1:52am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Omo na wa o. At some point before the relationship got to proposal level she should have said something. Also before you ever had sex, condom or not, there is a risk that you had a right to decide if you wanted to take. I won't marry someone like that if na me sha. 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 1:54am On Jun 20, 2016 |
abike12: While I understand the fear of stigma, especially in Nigeria, the deception is the reason why I wouldn't marry such a person, not the affliction itself. 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 1:56am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Onegai: Seriously? Equivalent? YOu had to say this? You, ma'am, should keep your mouth shut for a looooong time! |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 2:10am On Jun 20, 2016 |
nasha1: frugal: HIV is not even a terminal disease. Where do these Nigerians get their ideas from? You not only misinform people, you are also passing wrong judgement across. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Sunnynwa: 2:12am On Jun 20, 2016 |
onagoodday: So what he said up there is right? |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Sunnynwa: 2:12am On Jun 20, 2016 |
histemple: There is no nicer way of saying it I'm afraid. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 2:18am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Gasout:If I were in your shoes, I do maintain good relationship with her but certainly not marriage. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by ceejay80s(m): 2:26am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Gasout: Guy u get sense at all, run for ur life, did is death That we are talkng about, don't marry ur own funeral out of pity, she has warned u and u refuse to listen |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Werehkpe: 2:30am On Jun 20, 2016 |
histemple: PLEASE DO NOT MIS INFORM PEOPLE HIV research has reached advanced stages and there drugs that now suppress the virus to an undetected level OP PLEASE IGNORE ABOVE AND READ BELOW 1. U can go ahead with the relationship and have normal healthy children together. 2. U will have to make sure she adheres to her ART (Anti Retroviral Treatment) drugs. Ensure she takes them at the same and right time everyday 3. U can even have unprotected s3x with her without contacting HIV. BUT before you try this make sure she takes a test called VIRAL LOAD. If the result shows the level of her HIV is undetected then unprotected s3x is possible but not always advisable 4. Once in a while you may have to take pREP drugs. that Pre exposure drugs to ensure you do not contact the virus Since you have been dating since 2014, I believe she is already on ART drugs and as such her viral load will be undetected. So you have absolutely nothing to worry about EXCEPT SHE STOPS TAKING HER DRUGS. You can thank God I responded to this |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by keacy(m): 2:41am On Jun 20, 2016 |
My Guy, I currently work in an NGO that deals with HIV/AIDS. And am a pharmacist by profession. The truth is that you can marry this girl and have kids free of the virus and yourself being negative. Rules of Engagement are: 1. She must be on her drugs for life and you will encourage her to be taking it. 2. Pls don't go about disclosing her status to other people. They will spread the news like wild fire and they will start discriminating her. 3. When you guys are ready to have a baby consult your physician. 4. When making love to her make sure she is properly wet. 5. Give God thanks. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Joygalore(f): 2:42am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Thanks for this sensible post EgunMogaji: 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Lincolnburrows(m): 2:42am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Werehkpe: Biko how will they make babies? Since he won't be having unprotected sex most of the time. And how will they make sure that their children will be negative. Pardon my naivety and ignorance |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Joygalore(f): 2:44am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Aptly put keacy: |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by slam7000(m): 2:55am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Gasout: Are you thinking of having children with this lady? |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 3:27am On Jun 20, 2016 |
9jaRonin:I'm also a medical practitioner and I can tell you that the guy was only advised from a professional point of view. If any of them were in his shoes, I really think they would've walked away from the issue of marriage. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by kwaso: 3:27am On Jun 20, 2016 |
U sound like u love this lady so I will try and give u a good simple explanation of what lies ahead. It is completely ur choice to take a decision and be responsible for that: Step one: Go for a HIV test. Step two: if u are HIV positive that makes u concordant. See ur clinician for possible initiation into care or treatment of HIV(AntiRetroviral Therapy-ART). Step three: if u are negative that leaves u discordant(till after three months). The Gist: it is possible for a discordant couple to be married and make HIV free babies and also remain discordant. This is successful when an infected partner is adherent to her ARV drugs and treat opportunistic infections as soon as possible. What the ARVs does mainly is to reduce viral replication thereby reducing the viral load in the system and boasting immune system. U may be meeting ur partner most times with some protection but upon decision to make babies, with support from ur health care provider u can meet her unprotected. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by tee4naija(m): 3:31am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Guy relax. There are two sides to it. Have u had her tested to verify her claim as per her HIV status? If yes and she is truly positive. I beg don't fall for her deceit. She shouldn't have waited until after u had proposed before telling u her status if she truly loved u.on the other hand, she might just be testing u with this and want to see if u truly love her. I want u to request for a test before u go ahead with ur marriage plans. Good luck. 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by misterawo: 3:45am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Gasout: Actually you can go ahead and marry the girl. But u must be ready for lifelong condom use, except when you want to make babies. In that case, u will be commenced on pre-exposure prophylaxis(PrEP) and continue until one month after exposure. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 3:54am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Most of all dis hiv carriers r not truthful. Ask her all u need to know about her. Be careful she may be pretending just to win your love for marriage. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Nobody: 4:10am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Raypawer: ..Oga!! i didn't want to exchange words with you my response isn't childish, pls go back and check how many (LIKES ) for that response ..its for those who understand my message. thank u |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by Tonimario45: 4:12am On Jun 20, 2016 |
It may sound funny bt guy u kW God can do all tins, if u HV a genius love for her just go ahead believing God dat he will whatever he said he would do. Dnt give up God will see u 2ru if only u actual believe in God |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by ib22003(m): 4:14am On Jun 20, 2016 |
The million dollar question every one didn't even bothered to ask. It's not easy but please put your heart aside and use you brains to think. You are in love and it will be very hard to think we'll but you have to for the sake of ur unborn kids general1970: 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by brytee: 4:18am On Jun 20, 2016 |
my brother this will be the test of wat true love is .being HIV positive is no longer a death sentence infact u can still have kids and raise of family. all she needs do is to be placed onART drugs wch try to reduce the viral load and boost her immunity while u r placed on pre exposure prophylaxis.... the choice is urs |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by chrispratt: 4:30am On Jun 20, 2016 |
histemple: If it's so difficult for men to contract HIV, then where did the women contract it from? Didn't infected women contract it from men who contracted it? Or did all the infected men have *cracks* on their p3nises? Just wondering |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by GogetterMD(m): 4:35am On Jun 20, 2016 |
histemple:Always is a strong word there. Fine a lady carries a higher risk than a man does, cause of the large surface area of the female tract,, plus presence of immune modulator cells,, but the most important factor here for transmission is the viral load 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by joceey(m): 4:39am On Jun 20, 2016 |
Gasout: If truly you had sex just once and it was protected while living in fear?secondly am not seeing the love between both of you as a genuine one,if she truly loves you that could have been the first thing she could have told you not last. Thinking deeply my brother no man or woman can give you advice on what to do with your life except only yourself so whatever the outcome of your decision is i wish you good luck in life 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by kingthreat(m): 4:44am On Jun 20, 2016 |
eyinjuege: The probability for transmission for vaginal intercourse remains less than 1%. Thats my point. The probability of contracting HIV is very low. But still doesnt mean we should take the risk. |
Re: My Fiancee Confessed She's HIV+ After I Proposed To Her. Please, Help by CaptainKodak(m): 4:48am On Jun 20, 2016 |
histemple: ...And you think she can cry so heavily as she did even when pretending? |
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