Vavana:


Am a yound lady that made mistake in her early 20's. No pity pls. i made a wrong chioce n paid for it.

Am a divorcee n he got to know about it in 2013. since then i just wana be. All the men so far want sex in the relationship but i say NO. So i don't have bf. He even gave me counseling that all men are not same that i should engage in relationship.

But last year became close which i didn't emtertain.

Have i answered ur question?.
Thanks

You've answered it BRILLIANTLY.

Don't let your past worry you, by the way.

Well, I hate to live in assumption. I'll suggest you stay calm. You're both matured individualsand he'll be expecting you to read the handwriting on the wall, buh be open to him by asking him "what exactly do you want, Sir?? You know he's been a great guy all along, so be friendly in your question and manner.

When it's obvious he wants a romantic relationship with you, kindly decline telling him that if it's all because of the things he's done for you, you'll kindly resign buh will still be ever grateful to him.

All I'm trying to say is this, work on his emotions and feelings and he'll come around.

I'll tell you one thing for sure........ you'll win this moral battle if, and ONLY if you actually don't want to be his lover. (Cos your last thread seem like you're already considering him)

Hola me for any other advice. (We do not know it all)



By the way......ADURA LO LE SE (Only prayers can do it)

Vavana:

You really followed me. i will never. Am already looking out for jobs. Thanks brother.

You Are Welcome

Vavana:
Dear house i need matured advise.

My boss has been so wonderful to me. I mean his God's sent. from the day i was employed till today he has helped me so much. i can't quantify his kindness. if am to list it is unending.
He helped me to grow career wise.
He promotes me, i get whatever that is due yo me. he sometimes fight for me.

When mgt said our dept must ICAN/ACCA only. He encouraged me to enroll. He gave me 1month leave, now am in final level.
He recently gave my cousin job.

He helped to buy a land, invest my savings etc, what he helped me to achieve is uncountable my people.

I took him as my MENTOR but now he wants me, though i noticed the signs last year. I told me NO he said why do i hate him.

why should a man do all these for just few minutes sex?

Vavana:


Hahahahaha
Am a highly disciplined Lady. I noticed it but maintained distance. but he started using his wife to come close to me. his wife is from my tribe. i do help d wife to kids bags at yaba sometime ago.

He should let God bless him. Sleeping with me? What does it profit him.

.I swear bae,once he can av yu on that bed.The rest is history#Unto the next!

Hello Vavana

Advices will be coming in from all spheres that you may want to get a little confused on what to do......LOL

I somewhat thing I can relate to your situation as I have quite a number of married folks.

I'll base my advice on a few deductions.

1. You like this guy and you're not really surprised he's asked "you out"

2. You are not really disappointed, as a matter of fact you only hope he gets over himself and continue being your very good friend and companion.

If the two deductions are true then you may want to read further if not, my advice doesn't apply.

I'll advice you be cool with him. You really don't have to quit your job. Just let him know it can't happen. Let him know you're disappointed he asked and all those.....

Yeah that's my advice


On a more general note,

People get attached, it happens. They make mistakes. They misinterprete gestures. They grow to love.

It's complex Mehn. I thought I had a shot.

*gently sneaks out of thread*

Chai ... For him to do all this . the man deserve the sex times 10... Just Bleep him pls . I think he likes you too.. Haba what more can u ask for .. Not like u won't enjoy the sex too. So its a win win for u both

truthsayer007:


Yea very true, But its very bad when you see a man helping you extra ordinarily and you never bothered to ask why. And he his even married for that matter.

If he was single, that is another story entirely.

Am sure she knew his intentions from onset, don't start what you can't finish.

1. He promotes you (Which means you don't deserve it)
2. I get whatever that is due to me (you can't even prove that it is due to you)
3. He encouraged me to enroll. He gave me 1month leave (meanwhile, am sure he declined leave for every other person in such a situation)

One month paid leave or Un-paid leave (Abeg lets be realistic here).

4. He helped to buy a land, invest my savings. (I'm sure he probably helped add extra money so you purchase the land and finish paying)

What pisses me off is Women start collecting all this things they know he his married, probably with Wife and Kids.

Stop collecting gifts or extra help from married men, so you will have a less dramatic life.

If he was single, its different..You can now make a choice of whether you like to go ahead in a Relationship or Backoff, But now you can't even make any choice. because you knew what was happening from On Set.

Lets not deceive ourselves here.

1,000,000 Likes!!!

You are so down to earth and real! She knew all along what the man wanted so why pretend u didn't know when he eventually asked u out?

thorpido:
If you know his family,try to befriend the wife.If she is receptive,your closeness to the wife might discourage him.
Try to call his wife in his presence sometimes.
Stand your ground and let him see your no is no.If he continues to put you under pressure,you might have to look for a new job.

That will just turn him on more.

Bitterleafsoup:
That will just turn him on more.

The wife will turn him off............except she's a weak woman.