This my real life story about love and the journey I took to understanding it.


I hope my experience would help others understand and make better decisions about their Emotions towards themselves and others.


My Emotional awareness started way back when I was 8 years old or there about in primary school. It was in primary 5 where I had a female friend by name IRIS, she was the daughter of a newly transferred teacher to our government owned primary school.

We immediately liked each other. She allowed me sat with her in her seat, borrowed her TeXt books.. Since at that period, many of Us who attended government primary school in the 90's would understand if you don't own a seat, you will seat on the floor, and you will be flogged continually as if its your fault your parent couldn't afford to get you the basic learning materials. Any ways we were very close and because of that, her mum took to liking me and I was even invited to their home several times during this period.


I had a big Crush, or feelings the type I would call LOVE for this girl.. Or maybe 'NOT'


This lasted until after our Common entrance exams which saw the end of our primary education. We barely saw after our graduation save for a few days when we were in J.s.s I (we attended different schools) which marked the last I ever saw or heard of Her! Until this very moment.

Many times I do recall our experience together and I still wish I could see her again.



To be continued .....



I would be pasting this story in batches.

Enjoy

The next time I developed feelings for another girl was about Four years later in S.S 2 and the girl in question was our Assistant Head girl. She was in the arts and social science classes and I was the library prefect and I was in the science classes. Now the feelings I had for this girl unlike my first was truly Romantic, She was my CRUSH.

About Me: I am an introvert to a certain degree, I don't talk too much, but I have lots of friends. I am the kind of guy all teachers in the school Knows or the kind I would refer to as being "Subtle Popular" where you definitely would have heard of the name but not know the face. I am fairly intelligent enough to always be among the top 10 in any of my Sudjects and secondly I am a bit attractive to the opposite gender as I always have female companions easily. I remember on girl who always like to claim be my wife.

What it implies was that I barely needed to woo women but until I fell in 'love' with my secondary school crush. It was so serious I saw her in my dreams and sometimes I prayed God should do miracles that would make me have her in my Arms....
But I was unable to approach her!!!

This happened until our final days in secondary school.. This was the first time I ever had this butterfly feeling called Love in the real sense of it And I did not have the opportunity to experience a true relationship with someone I truly love.


During this period thou I experimented with sexuality thou I did not really had intercourse but my Fingers had already felt what Heaven was like. This is just to put the record straight I was not living a depressed life only that Courage failed me when I needed it the most.

My Next experience was when I entered higher institution. And this would be one of the most catastrophic in my Journey of Love.

From my first day or not exactly but the earliest Moments in the school, I saw her; Fair, tall, intelligent, beautiful with a good smile to cap it all and I instantly fell heads over heels in love with her.

And just like my previous CRUSH experience my Liver failed me.

And like before I had girls all over me. One even attempted to kiss me in full view of everyone in our lecture Hall and being the introvert that I am, I nearly melted but that was not the worst. My CRUSH was a MEMBER of our department!!

I was so much into this girl, I practically dream of her every night. I saw her in everyone that looked liked her.
But to walk up to her and just say my mind was like death sentence

I managed to get close to her, like platonic friends and when ever I was near her, my heart would be doing 200km/hr race and I have not even attempted talking to her.

What I did was remove her from my Wanted list. Till today she didn't know I would Die to have her as my Lover!

And that was how I lost the second person I ever wanted so much in my life.

It was during this period I had sex with one of the most unloved girl in all my life. Till today I ask myself WHY?

Reason was that she was easy to get, I was carefree because she didn't mean anything to me.

And the same can be said for subsequent girls after her.

Following! !!! I have similar experience. ..even in university I wad still hoping I'll meet that primary sch crush...very pretty and brilliant Yoruna girl. .My Tola

kunlesufyan:
Following! !!! I have similar experience. ..even in university I wad still hoping I'll meet that primary sch crush...very pretty and brilliant Yoruna girl. .My Tola

Hahahaha..
They are always exceptional, like Angels.

.

The year I graduated, was the year I encountered true Love.


She was the sister of a friend whose wife put to bed.
I liked her, she was fair and beautiful and I used to flirt with. We exchanged numbers and then I would call her and then later it became regularly and even more regular.
And then I started visiting her often but then I did not know how involved I had gotten with her until a buddy of Mine called me and asked me the question that changed my life forever.

"Guy what's Up with you and Faith. I always see you around her you don't seem to let her rest"


My reply. "Bro that girl is the Love of my life"

From the moment I made this statement, my whole being changed. My notion about her transformed, my Agenda somersaulted.


I fell deeply and truly in love with her.


Since I never had any chances with my previous CRUSH'ES I never could tell if what I had for them was LOVE and if it could be as strong..

I so much love her, thinking about her makes me unable to breath properly. She practically filled up everything space in my heart

I cried for the first time for a girl because of her, not because she hurt me but because I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Infact, it came to a point where my love for her became a pain to me.

When I am with her, I felt so much Joy but when I am away I would become depressed.

One thing about me is that I like being rational

With the level of love I had for faith it came to me if she ever hurt me, I would not think twice before I hurt myself fatally.

There was no doubt she loves me but I discovered she had other admirers and she receives lots of flirty text from other guys. And I also get gossips that other guys do see her.

And secondly, she was hardly my dream girl. I discovered we had very little in common.
Her lifestyle, (not a negative one though) was a bit not what I really wanted

But to be honest, I really did not care, but from my rational mind I was afraid if I wouldn't suffer more especially when she decides to take advantage of my feelings for her

Now the problem is not that I am insecure, the problem is that there Is a high tendency of being heart broken and considering the level at which I love her, I was afraid I wouldn't take a heartbreak in the usual ways most people would.

So I started thinking of the most brutal thing any Man can think of

"TO KILL LOVE"

I had to start learning the ropes to start Unloving her if possible or scale it down to the barest minimum.

This fight was one of the most defining moments of my life.
It taught me so much about the nature of love.



At first I scaled down communication.. But this method did little or nothing as I would hurt from not speaking with her and when ever she calls, there goes my resolution. This method failed at first

I started finding faults to leave her. The more I found the more it hurt me and Ironically I dare not even think of breaking up because the pain was too much


My saving grace in all these was that she didn't deliberately wanted to leave me and was not even ready to call it quits and many times she had pretended as if she did not know what I was up to.


But the risk of Living all my life with Someone I had this enormous amount of Love for was too scary for me.


I called her one day and practically called it off!! And in the next second I was back on telling her I was joking!


Her accommodating lifestyle to other guys continued as I come to realize, she was not ready to exclusively date me as I would normally see extremely flirtatious text between her and other guys and this spurred me in my quest to "MURDER LOVE". But how to go about it was a problem.


Mind you I did not find others girls attractive during this period and falling in love with another girl to act as diversion was not even remotely possible.

So that brings me to the only way out, Which I think would be very valuable to all Lovers who had ever been heart broken, betrayed or cheated on.

Continuation!

DO NOT DENY YOUR LOVE FOR THEM!!!

This is one of the major reason why people who have been jilted or betrayed hurt.
They begin to hate the offender.

I started to tell myself that I truly love her. That if not for these specific problem I would gladly Spend my life with her.

Doing this Made me realize that the problem is not the affection but lifestyle choices.

I made sure I tell her from the bottom of my heart how much I love her.

And next time when I saw those text I tell myself it is not my fault, that IF she really wanted my love she would be exclusive. The burden became lighter as I did this.


ALWAYS LOVE THEM

Keep loving them even though they had hurt you.
Because true love does not exist for a reason and No reason actually can stop. Maybe that's why Jesus died for Us because that's a typical explanation for true love.

But since we are Human and not Jesus, its very Unreasonable to die for anyone for the purpose of love. Therefore, know that Loving someone genuinely Is not a prerogative to be in a Hurtful relationship

As a matter of fact, LOVE and relationship are two mutually exclusive phenomenon as you can be in a lifetime relation without feelings of the butterfly LOVE, what you need is mutual Respect and a sense of responsibility like those needed for a successful business partnership. As you can also be in love without settling in a relationship or sexual interaction as Real Love is not sex, neither is it a contract for relationship it is just a strong natural affinity for someone mostly not of your making.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

I was able to define what I wanted for a relationship and I was clear about it.
Everyone in a relationship or hoping to be in one should be able to sincerely list the minimum attitude they expect from their partners. Doing this would reduce cluelessness as it would help you to strive towards achieving what you want and if you can't achieve it with your present relationship, it would help you to dismount and opt for a more rewarding one that would meet all your expectations.


Having understood all these, I was able to call her one day and ask her do you see Us getting married, seeing I don't have a really well paying job, and knowing How girls of your age are really the hot cake in the marriage market?

Her simple answer was 'NO'

I thank God I was able to work on myself to control whatever passion I had for her I wonder what I may do to myself if I did not discipline myself in this respect.


Well I am currently with a lady who ticks every box in what I want in a woman I would be in a relationship with and surprisingly I don't feel anxiety, or paranoia.
I feel relaxed and confident which what a relationship should bring to our lives.

Well this has been my short journey so far ladies and gentlemen I hope this inspired you to take your relationships in your hand and stop being depressed over one jerk or bitch who does not deserve your commitment in the first place.

hope u don't continue like this. liking someone then being afraid to talk to her or tell her how u feel. u really need to step up

SWITANN:
hope u don't continue like this. liking someone then being afraid to talk to her or tell her how u feel. u really need to step up

Well I cannot guarantee if I would do it again.. But there is currently no woman on the face of the earth I can not woo so far there is no communication barrier.

SWITANN:
hope u don't continue like this. liking someone then being afraid to talk to her or tell her how u feel. u really need to step up

#offrecords

You are a new definition of beautiful.. Love that cheeky smiles of yours

gsainttrinity:



#offrecords

You are a new definition of beautiful.. Love that cheeky smiles of yours

*blushing* thanks

gsainttrinity:


Well I cannot guarantee if I would do it again.. But there is currently no woman on the face of the earth I can not woo so far there is no communication barrier.

is that so?
HMMM...

SWITANN:








is that so?
HMMM...

Yes because I have come to realize that wooing a woman does not have formula and you don't necessarily have to block her way hold her by the wrist and tell her you love her...

There are better ways to go about getting attention of whoever your heart wishes

SWITANN:







*blushing* thanks

I have never contacted any female on NL before you might make me break my own rule .. Anyways its a pleasure

gsainttrinity:



I have never contacted any female on NL before you might make me break my own rule .. Anyways its a pleasure

same...

gsainttrinity:



Yes because I have come to realize that wooing a woman does not have formula and you don't necessarily have to block her way hold her by the wrist and tell her you love her...

There are better ways to go about getting attention of whoever your heart wishes

what are those ways

gsainttrinity:



I have never contacted any female on NL before you might make me break my own rule .. Anyways its a pleasure

send your details,I need UR help on something.

SWITANN:








what are those ways

Genuinely Get to know them..

Being acquaintance is a good start..
with a little bit of flirting when relationship have been established to a comfortable level


Although, there is another way.. Mainly for philanderer which is outright bluntness... Just say it

But in all, a reasonable level of interaction must be established

SWITANN:





send your details,I need UR help on something.

Send a text to 07062584***

Or use the BBpin in my profile