The character from the book whose life is almost deliberately shielded from thorough scrutiny is Obinze’s wife – Kosi. Her only sin it seems is to be the proper African woman – a woman who knows her place in the restrictive life that a wife is confined to in our society. Her beauty is described vividly as quite striking which is one of the reasons Obinze got attracted to her. In the process of their relationship, we find that she is the one eager for marriage but presents it with feminine wisdom as merely a demand from her people, not by her own insistence. She is portrayed as one who would rather bury her head in the sand than face the harsh reality. She plays her role as Obinze’s wife in society but never really made any attempt to understand who he was as a person, different from other men. In her attitude, one almost can guess that any other man in her life would get all she was giving to her husband out of duty rather than willingly. Even in their lovemaking, she did only what a wife was expected to do: make herself available for her husband, no attempt to be pleased, only to please. She knew Obinze was cheating on her but ignored it until he blurted out that he wanted a divorce from her. Even then, she made no attempt to join herself to him, only using their children together as the reason why he shouldn’t leave her. Her husband though was a liberated man who enjoyed cooking for his family, something Kosi’s traditional outlook on life prevented him from doing. She it was who had the responsibility to cook, not him.

A lady must understand her man more than anyone else. I remember a lover from many years ago with whom I was watching a football match where David Beckham was about coming on to the pitch for Real Madrid. As the camera zoomed into the audience to show his wife Victoria Beckham, she whispered to me that everyone in the crowd were cheering the Beckham they knew but she knew him more than they all and only she could accurately tell what was on his mind at that very moment.

Friendship is an important part of love relationships for most men and the woman who cannot adapt to this is the woman who loses out in the long run..... Click here to continue www.lushglamweddings.com/lessons-for-ladies-from-chimandas-americanah/

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