Scrolling through Facebook the other day, I got a birthday notification for a "friend" and felt a twinge of guilt.

He's not so much my friend as he is a dude from Tinder I went out with a couple times. The second time, I pulled a serious dick move to ditch him. I'd invited him over to go to a warehouse party with me, but while we were pre-drinking at my place, I got a text from my friend saying she was already at the party—and she was with a dude I liked a lot more than Tinder boy. I started low-key telling my date I didn't think he would like the party; I said there was going to be a bunch of burners there in costume, and that it didn't really seem like his scene. I also began complaining about how expensive it was to get in, all the while maintaining that I was obliged to go because of my friends.

None of it worked—he was still keen on hanging out. So, knowing he'd done a lot of drugs in the past and was now completely straight edge, I told him how badly I wanted to get high that night. I actually don't even do MDMA that often (anymore), but I said my plan was to get bleeped out of my mind. He was definitely not into that but still seemed to be considering going with me.

Finally, I more or less kicked him out of my house.

It was not my finest moment, but it seems I'm not alone. Some people will do anything to avoid confrontation—take for example, this woman who pretended to be ill while on a hiking date and ended up being helicoptered off a mountain because she didn't know how to just tell her date she was having a bad time.

We reached out to a bunch of people for their most shameful get-out-of-a-shitty-date stories. Here's what they said:

Changing the clocks
This was in college. Because I am old, that means it was before everyone had a smart phone, or at least a cellphone, and we still relied upon actual alarm clocks.

Anyway, this girl and I had been flirting for a few nights prior, so by the evening we finally hooked up, the action had become pretty hotly anticipated. We get back to my dorm around midnight and dive into bed and... it's just terrible. We were the perfect amount of sloppy, but she was... it was like hooking up with a bag of milk.

So I slow things down and tell her I'm just tired and pretend to sort of pass out. She isn't happy, but says fine and tells me she has an early class, so I need to set the alarm for 7 AM.

Sure thing, I tell her. And I did set the alarm for 7 AM. But as soon as she fell asleep, I leaned over and set the clock forward six hours. She woke up and went off to class... at 1 in the morning. Of course, once she had left, I went back out to the bar. —Seth, 33

Bullshit TV emergency
I was 25, and I just started dating after leaving the Roman Catholic seminary. This was my first blind date ever. I was nervous because the person who set us up wasn't really a friend, just someone who I knew, but she assured me that her friend was cool.

She didn't tell me that her friend was 20 years older than I was.

I had a bad feeling the second we met up for a coffee. She started talking about her kids and her ex-husband, and I thought, I want to be anywhere else right now. So I pretended to get a call from my roommate.

"Hey man, oh dammit, I totally forgot! I'll head home right away and record it."

I told the date that I had to go home and record the finale of The OC.

Pretty sure I heard her say, "Yeah, right," as I ran down the street.
http://oinsurance.net/top-most-ridiculous-excuses-that-happens-on-dates/

*yawns* I can't read jare

Hmmm...









I just realized I ended up reading nothing... Anyways, just another trash