Okay we begin our session for today, titled,
WISDOM FOR RELATIONSHIP AND COURTSHIP

It's a great thing to be in a relationship with someone you care about and some one who in turn cares for you. However, even greater a feeling, is being in a healthy relationship.
Not just a healthy relationship, but one that pleases God and pleases you and your partner. A lot of folks have found themselves in a relationship where they have had to use only their hearts.
Reality is that you have got to use your head as well as your heart. Never leave your heart to do the job of your head in a relationship. There are things that requires more than the mere feelings that we all feel when in love or in a relationahip.
Why is this important, I hear someone ask? This is especially important because you are to be held responsible for any heartbreak or disaster that you face in a relationship as a christian. I say this because every wrong or deadly relationship starts by giving redflags and then when these red flags are ignored, trouble looms. Every wrong relationship gives signs. It is your responsibility to avert these ills by being armed with the right principles that make relationship and courtship work.
As christians striving to work out any relationship with the opposite sex, we must be sure to work something out that pleases God. This is why it pays to be armed with the right wisdom and principles for relationship and courtship. These principles to a large extent helps you to guard your heart and also makes you build a solid hedge around your feelings so that you do not end up disappointed. So, just what are the wise principles that works for an ideal relationship? Here they are and it is my prayer that someone here today will make amends where need be in relationship.


PRINCIPLE 1-1. Never Assume The Role Of An Intending Partner If The Other Person Hasn't Made The Intentions Known.

This is one wisdom that ought to guide you especially when looking to win the love or heart of a partner. A lot of people have suffered heartbreaks because they thought their partners was on the same page as they were. So, in their hearts they place the partner on a high pedestal thinking that is exactly how they are in the minds of the other person. This can be disastrous as it is expedient to define and ascertain the frequency at which your partner is operating with you. At times like this it is expedient to define the relationship. Talk with your partner to know what exactly might be in their hearts because with communication you are able to garnet a lot that might be trapped on the inside. Ask questions, raise conversations that will reveal if really you are on the same page as the person. At times like this you might not get a clear yes or no, but as an adult that you are, you will be able to draw inferences. NEVER assume you both have an equal understanding of what you are looking at. Talk it over. Thrash it out to guard your heart.


WISDOM / PRINCIPLE 2- 2. GO INTO ONLY RELATIONSHIP THAT BUILDS YOU UP.

It is expedient to catch this wisdom early enough in life. This is so that you do not waste your time on anyone. Bible says wisdom is profitable to direct. It takes one who has caught this light to be directed against an error in relationship. Do not manage any relationship that is all out to tear you down rather than build you up. You and your partner ought to build one another up all times. A healthy relationship is a symbiotic one. Do not let love blind you into accepting a parasitic one. If you have erroneously found your self in a parasitic relationship / courtship, then you may want to have a rethink. You really should have a rethink because every trait positive or negative you see in a partner whilst single, will be multiplied un marriage. Never think you can change anyone in life. Yes, you may influence change, but ultimately the power to change sure lies in the hands of the person. So, if you aren't able to change a person whilst courting, please take a long walk for your own good.

viewing this thread Pushplay (m) importexpert (m)

WISDOM /PRINCIPLE 3: PUT SEX LAST

You already have heard for the umpteenth time that as christians sex comes last- the wedding night. However, this is not to say that it still doesn't happen. Why on earth should anyone postpone sex, I hear someone say. After all sex is sweet. Well, true sex is sweet, I have tasted it non stop in marriage for 5 years and I dare say it pays to have it with your wife or husband alone. However, this is not condemning anyone who may have been actively involved on it. No, I'd be doing exactly what the bible condemns if I did. The point am trying to bring out here is that when sex is done outside of marriage there is tendency for comparison. Once married, you compare how nice your EXs were , compared to how your newly wedded hubby or wife might be. Much more than that it is a sin against God. There definately would have been some exchange of souls. God created sex for man and wife because they become one from the very day they exchange vows and so exchanging of spirit and souls is permitted. If you aren't going to leave with anything at all from the sex part of the wisdoms I am talking about, leave with the reality that delayed gratification far pays than tasting the meal before it is served.



WISDOM/ PRINCIPLE 4- NEVER SPEND TO IMPRESS, RATHER SPEND AFTER YOU ARE IMPRESSED

This wisdom should come in handy for the guys. Do not make the mistakes of wooing a lady with gifts and money. This is because no matter how good you think she might be good for you or be the one for you, if you lavish money on her to impress her and buy her love, you buy trouble because no relationship built on a faulty foundation stands the test of time. Every relationship goes through a wilderness journey, and so when the chips are down, money may not fix things. Bottom line guys is, look out for other ways to get her attention and allegiance- not forgetting the direction of God, and then other things will add up.


WISDOM / PRINCIPLE 5- NEVER START A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHOSE BELIEF SYSTEM AND YOURS IS OPPOSITE

These beliefs are all encompassing*** Your moral beliefs, spiritual beliefs, general life beliefs ought to be in sync. You risk a lot of trouble when you compromise these areas

I will stop at these for today. It is my prayer always that none on the Singles here will end up with the wrong person in Jesus name.

Nice.

Words of wisdom ....