If he goes through your phone and sees ur thread here, you are dead

crackhaus:

Every thing he does borders on a possessive attitude.

I'm interested in knowing what exactly you did to make him start suspecting you.

Brilliant question

op no offence o but bikonu oo.....dash him to me....

if he does not behave the way he is behaving,you would have created a thread instead saying "help my fiance doesnt show how much he loves me...do i quit??"

if he suddenly stops now you will say "help i think my fiance is cheating on me"...

What do we tell you now...

if thats his way of showing you how much he loves you and you not ok with it..talk to him na...only you two can settle this...

NOTE---its gonna be worse dan this so dash me now o

OP CAN YOU REMEMBER YOUR POSTS

[b]I am at my breaking point right now. I am about to make an important decision in my life right now and I want to hear your various opinion on it to enable me choose wisely. Trolls pls stay away

I met this dude last year, he's everything u can think of in a man.... . Initially I thought he was acting good but I discovered that's he's person. He understands women perfectly to my taste, he knows the right thing to do without me asking, but he has anger issues and over jealousy but which I can deal.
God bears me witness that I lie not or exaggerate not.
The issue now is... we want to take the rltnshp to another level since I will be going to service soon. I went to meet my spiritual leaders to seek God's approval over the rltnshp. They both ask us to Move on. I went to God personally but He gave me signs that confirm what my pastors said.
But my most elder brother will have none of that.. .. he says he knows the family so much that he can NEVER allow me marry into that family. And he won't state his reasons. He keeps saying that family is bad.
My mom went to pray about this because the issue was causing problems between my brother and I. and was given the same confirmation.

The worse is that my other sisters who are also my senior are taking sides with him. Only my mum is on my side. This is a very sensitive issue.

I told the dude yesterday about my brother's opinion about his family and he cried to my surprise.

Pls, what do I do? Let the senior brothers in the house pls talk to me........[/b]


I don't know if I am alone in this. I just don't get why I get tired of people easily. Both male and female friends, once I get close to you... I don't want you no more.

Yes, I am an introvert but I don't think that maybe the reason.
I make friends easily, get excited and the initial gra gra but the irony is that I lose friends as quickly as I make them.
I just made friends with some girl like some weeks back, She is really a nice person and dis stupid feeling of disgust is about showing up. I want to keep her as my bestie since I have none. Pls what should I do?

My question : how do I stay interested in people for a long time?


Think about this and judge yourself

Hello dear, Is very rare before i comment on post here. However, i think you need to discuss the issues you raised here with him. Tell him the impact of the feelings you get from some of his moves/atitudes as displayed by him. Allow him see the reasons why he needs to slow down or make you feel comfortable. Please say it all with simplicity, honesty and at a time you think u could get his attention.
Then come back here and let the MATURED minds get a beat of what his response his after a while.
Please dear dont subject your good relationship to any or all kinds of advises on social media.
I love the lady who sais she is not good at relationship issues, hence she couldnt have given a comment.
I recommend a book for both of you. UNDERSTANDING YOUR HUSBAND for you and UNDERSTANDING YOUR WIFE for him.. It states practicla steps of how to display some actions and how osme actions displayed by parterns could be understood without comfilct.

This is just a tip of what i could put here at this time dear.
Remember, he may not know he his coking you.. I also had been told by a lady before. Then i made her know that my love language is Quality Time, hence i did like to be around good friends.
Thank you for your time to read this comment.

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

You should also remember this

I created a thread sometimes ago on how to attract a responsible man. Well, I am here to say a big thank you to u my beloved romancelanders for all the tips and advice.
After reading thru all d comments, I noticed I was too serious, always wore a defensive look.

So, i diligently followed the good nd meaningful tips, totally ignored the badmouthers nd insults, and to God's glory, he toasted....we connected nd we are good

Praiiiiiiiise the Lord, I say praiiiiiiiise master Jesus, somebody praiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise the Lord.
I. want to use this opportunity to thank Oga Seun for this forum, the responsible adults in ds forum, not forgetin d nairaland trolls...God pass una sha.

Inother news, Sai Buhari

Like they say.. you don't value what you have till it's gone.

@OP you'll hardly find guys that respect ladies nowadays, some will pretend to buh when you dig deep, you'd see it's all lies..

In my opinion, it's you d guy "likes/love" most if atal he has others "if".. I'm also sure he wants to trust you buh scam evrywia, plus economic factor (both single & married going into runz now) not d guy's fault.. Try to talk and reason with him #cheers

MARCH 2015
by OP



I am beautiful, curvy and hairy. Chocolate skinned but it bothers me that I can't get and keep a man of my own.
Yes, I have admirers and stalkers but they don't fit into my picture of an ideal man.
The ideal men I have at my workplace, all they do is to admire and tell themselves " this bae make brain o". But none of them could approach me for a serious relationship because they often think I am taken.

Pls, my beloved #landers, how do I get them to toast me?.
Its kind of frustrating when your are lonely, no passionate calls, no sweet talkings. And u feel u have all it takes but the men ain't just coming

Women and their wahala, men give you time , they are choking you. They call once in a while, they don't have time for you. Which way now?

People are quick to advise you to quit, but they don't know the bond you have shared together that makes the young man being too fond of you. Look inwards and see the other side of the man. If he is hard working, cares for you and honest, go ahead with him, except one is pretending, no man that is true in love that is not possessive. If you are not jelously in love, you are not there yet.

I know your type, u are getting too many attension from guys, and you are being too smart about it, don't allow those guys to spoil what u have, I know how u are feeling right now, just take a trip out of the city for some days, that's all u need now, and if you leave him u will regret it, when u come back, u can then have a one on one talk with him, I can tell you that this guy loves you, maybe this others guys want to just sleep with u, kachineke mezieokwu

My suggestions to u are
1. Pray about it, ask God if dats his plan for u
2. If he has a male figure that he listens to, as a role model den talk to him bou ur fiance, that would help moderate the way he behaves esp in checking ur fone.
3. Do not give him a reason not to trust u, maybe u talk bou guys dat ask u out a lot that wud make him feel jealous. Stop such discussions wif him.
4. Reduce d way male counterparts call u weneva ur wif him, and mind d words u use, while chatting with those male frnds, words like sweetie,, honey darling nd all of dat.
5. He treats u well outside, hmmm is a sign he loves you. Just do d stuff above and watch if he changes. B4 long u wud know if he's sm1 u actually wanna put up wif or let go. Wish u good luck cheers.

5minsmadness:
@iamnotalone,

So I went through all your threads and posts and came to a simple conclusion.
Don't marry this man.
You are not matured for marriage yet. It's not him, its you. And thats not a bad thing. With time u will grow and find someone u love and cherish, but right now your feelings are fickle. If u marry this guy Now and anything goes wrong u will continue to blame him for it. Let him go pls.

You just told her the truth, let me tell you miss.. It is not the guy that has the problem we humans have a way of trying to mke ourselves look like we are all perfect.. Forgetting the law "There is no reaction without a preceeding action" this guy definitely loves you that was why u tried all your best to let ur family give their approval, Now you are starting to display something he does not feel okay about, whether It is in your manners, ur sensitivity to things that concern him and the future of you both, u need to put in some maturity in here and ask questions so you can understand whats going on with him... But i must be real with you, U comming out here to shade him up this way indicates you have some skeleton in your cupboard, some other guy is promising you things and you are not totally committed with this guy u are complaining about... It all balls down to maturity.. If you know in your heart you can not give him what e expects of you probably cos u still wanna have fun with other guys.. I think you can save u both some bitter ending and call things off maturedly

ULSHERLAN:
Alot of ladies out there are dying to have their guys all around them but here we have someone who thinks he is choking her. Well he could be choking you and i think you probably gave him reasons not to trust you and that's why he has been checking your phones to connect some dots. To even think that you wanna tell you parents about this means you have a back up plan already. Anyways my dear, Youarealone in this

my brother u said what was on MA mind ND to add to that, op sounds like someone who cheats or quadruple dates, ND who has a lot of skeleton in her cupboard, u re rejecting d kinda guy an average nigerian girl desires,, for fvvckx sake my bae sometimes take my fone to school for famzin purposes so I Duno why ur FIANCE going tru ur phone is a crime,. he talks like a woman when he is angry, at least he doesn't beat u nd u Neva told us what ND what u did to make him angry.. sister think abt ur r/ship well because it ain't like Ariel advert, if u don't take kia of him.. many girls would, and don't come back Here 15years later telling us hw marriage has been eluding u.
good afternoon

passionate88:




Liar, you said that he's always around you, was he around you when you composed this message?

but you mumu sha

DennisEche:

but you mumu sha

you beidiot

I have this for you friend. IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHERE YOU ARE, THEN CHANGE IT.YOU ARE NOT A TREE. So simple. Thank God you can still go out of it.

you will never value what you have till you lose it

We need to hear his side of the story...


You need to look inward. What is your lifestyle like? It could be the reason for his actions.


You sounded like you are doing him a favour...you don't sound like someone who is ready for marriage.


You need to start looking inward, be SURE you are ready and KNOW the bitter truth...THERE IS A CLEAR DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MARRIED LADY AND A SINGLE LADY....YOU CAN'T BE BOTH, YOU MUST CHOOSE ONE.


From your complaint...YOU ARE NOT READY.

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

My dear, I'll give you this sincere advice. Its a good thing to have a man that dots over you and always wants to be around you. This is what 80% of ladies crave for after wedding.
A lady would consider herself lucky if her husband still dots around her after 1 year of marriage.
It's your choice though.

passionate88:
you beidiot

e pain am.....................

Evidences of what would happened in the marriage are already show-facing, it would be too treacherous if you go ahead with the marriage, cos from the look of things, seems you ain't compatible. You already managing your relationship but don't dare it in marriage, you cant manage your marriage, that idea always result to divorce. Peace!

Think am well o. Think am well o.

mimzy:


He is possessive, doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you.



The fact that he is a jealous and possessive lover does not mean he is not capable of treating you right in public or in private.


Please explain what you mean by the emboldened, is it that you have painted him to be who he is not to the members of your family or what?


All these are signs of insecurity, while i am not in support of his attitudes, have you also taken your time to have a tête-à-tête with him, have you tried to understand your man's love language? Men can be really funny at times and you will be surprised at your findings when you have a heart-to-heart convo with him.



You are the one in the relationship, you know where the shoe pinches, you are the one that will say "I do forever" to the guy in question, so put aside what your family members will think or say. But, trust me my dear, the grass is not always greener on the other side, your relationship with him still has a very good chance of survival.


After all said and done, we can only but proffer advise, the final decision lies in your hands, BE WISE MY SISTER!!!

Women that reason like you are rare! You sound like a counsellor,well-done!!!

Nightie:
Hmmm. Dnt knw much abt relationships. Wish I cn give u an advice, bt av gat ntin to say.

like this abi

Nightie:
Hmmm. Dnt knw much abt relationships. Wish I cn give u an advice, bt av gat ntin to say.

Evening ma

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

Buy and read 5 LOVE LANGUAGES by Gary Chapman. Thank me later

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

The truth is for u to do whatever is on your mind cos it's your life. You wear the shoes and know where it pinches. Don't listen to people who will tell u to tolerate and continue with the relationship (it's not gonna last). If you ain't happy, please discontinue. Your happiness is paramount and you shouldn't trade it for anything in the world. He will SurEly meet a lady who can tolerate him

Evacroft:
Well, As for me I will say call a spade a spade, leave him and don't try working on the relationship. I was once in ur shoes. Pple wouldn't even believe he is bad untill I made them to start seeing the real him.
He will drain u of all ur inner securities, and they never change. Once u see a lousy man or an overly quiet one double check before going neck deep.
The truth is he loves u,but in a very wrong way,and mark my words he will abuse u both physically and emotionally with time cos he himself is not stable emotionally. Has he started been manipulative? He will and will also blackmail u emotionally. Talk to friends and family 'bout him they will help u thru it. Best of luck.

Evening ma

ULSHERLAN:
Alot of ladies out there are dying to have their guys all around them but here we have someone who thinks he is choking her. Well he could be choking you and i think you probably gave him reasons not to trust you and that's why he has been checking your phones to connect some dots. To even think that you wanna tell you parents about this means you have a back up plan already. Anyways my dear, Youarealone in this

Boss greetings o

veave:
Walk baby, walk...

Evening ma

streetzdreamz:
you might be right,but you are wrong with your assumption bout extremely quiet Guys@topic the points you mentioned are bad but i see it as a way of getting moral justifications, a man doesnt dote on a woman that much unless he feels he is threatened by another,you prolly built the relationship on something other than trust,you didnt earn his trust and that fueled his insecurities, truth is if you dont sit down and think things through and work on yourself, he is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode,cuz we all have our limits,he is extremely jealous,goes tru ur phones always,nags definitely you doing something wrong to warrant all this,if you cant work on ursef take a walk,no one was born perfect,you'd meet a guy who wouldnt give two hot fudge sundaes about all you are confused abt,then you start asking yourself if he really loves you at all,someone said you aint ready for marriage,the fellow might be right afterall.

Hey pls open ur eyes well . Read my comment, I said to double check on overly quiet person. And I still stand by that. Some pple and there fish brain,when a lady picks up a man's phone she is definately said to be stupid to do so and actually wants to kill herself if she finds he is doing anytin wrong,but wen a man does it it is cos u re doing someti wrong as a woman. OP,i really will sound it off again run for ur live, why don't u find out how he treated his exes,not from him though, he will continue to claim it's the love he has for u that keeps bringing the insecurities but actually it is who he is. Once all u wrote are what he does pls run. Has he started crying after hurting u?yeah that is wen the manipulation starts, I experienced this and thank God I ran with the help of fam and friends,he threatened me so much that I couldn't go out all alone but thank God today I have a hubby that loves me the way a woman shld be loved. If he doesn't trust u he shld leave instead of feeling insecure.

Checked ur previous post. My feeler is that you have seen the signs of a marriage failing from the start. Decision is up to you.