nice story u hv here dear. more ideas to u so that u will give us more sweet updates. but some people sha know how to be annoying; must u quote d whole story to just send a comment.

gud evening evrybody&u fiyah,una wicked o so update cum online nobody call me infact i don vex, abeg fiyah update now am growing impatient,infernorblaze cum o there is story,fiyah welldone u are good

Hehehe.time don reach wey jo go retire from tobi.her tenure don expire.nice one fiiiiiyaaaaahhh.please am always looking forward to ur update.

Swell,I like the internal monologue u always use and also the way u end conversations,u have a great gift...thanks for sharing with us

wat is Jo looking for again, ,abeg make she free the guy jare,,,, thumbs up fiyah,,,expecting more updates from u

all of una wey dey quote,pls stop its too much

Thumbs up @Fiyah. Great Story. #LoveTORI

Cirphrank:
Fiyah

I don't know if it will interest you but I'd love to have your stories on my blog.

Quote me with your reply.

That would be nice and thanks

Jo is there to cause trouble! Hian, that girl should leave Tobi alone abeg.... Thanks Fiyah, hope to read another episode soon.

dat moment wen ur crush says hi nd u re like hav moved on why do u hav to kom spoil dis moment.

Who is in the garden a beautiful writer...Fiyah weldone dear now lets see how Tobi will explain Tori to Joannah

Weldone...

I don't know who the lady is. But i wish I knew her personally. The lady is good.. I mean her story is good, so good ignoring the little error here and there. It Seem like reality that I am tempted to ask if this is purely from the writers' imagination or someone true life story.

Jo is really friend zoning Tobi and she wouldn't just let him be.

fiyah:

That would be nice and thanks

www.betayarn.com.ng

It'll be live soon.

fiyah:

1

It was a hectic day and it was her first time in Lagos Cliché. Rather use: The rigour of the long journey to Lagos had had its effect on her, a condition made worse by the fact that this was her first time of coming to this populated city. Toriola stepped down from the cab she boarded at the car park to the address James gave her She managed to disembark from the bus she had boarded from the car-park; she was heading to the address James had given to her prior her departure. She doesn't have much stuffs to unload She had only a few belongings to take out of the vehicle, and somehow, she found herself thanking her stars as she offloaded her things from the car. If she had left with more than the loads she carried, the stress of her journey might have tripled. fortunately, she had only a black luggage that contained some of her clothes and some documents. Apart from the luggage, she also had a polythene bag that housed only the few pairs of shoes she had.

After getting her stuffs down from the trunk of the car she paid the driver the agreed pay Passive expression. She paid the driver the negotiated amount as soon as she had all her loads off the booth of the car..

'HelloKindly insert a comma here' The driver of the cab called back as she had her back turned in an attempt to carry her load The driver called as she was about to leave with her loads.

'You forgot your phoneKindly insert a comma here' He said Kindly insert a comma here handing her a black iphone iPhone which Tori was quite sure wasn't hers but her response was caught between coughing out the dust left behind by the cab.

Great.

Her first time in Lagos has had to be with a phone belonging to God-knows-who in a God-knows-where part of the city. That being one of the least worries she has the least of her worries, Tori tried calling James once again Kindly insert a comma here murmuring a silent prayer as she did.

Her heart had raced a mile when she tried calling his number this evening and her call got disconnected each time. It wasn't like she knows knew anyone else here Kindly insert a comma here so where the hell was she supposed to stay the night spend the night, considering the fact that it was already past her bedtime?

With a frustrated sigh which followed the beep sound she heard to signal a disconnected call, Toriola paced in panic and restlessness. She had heard so much about this place regarding serial killers, robbers and serial rapists too Kindly delete the word.

She was freaking out Kindly insert a semicolon here thinking about all the terrible things that could happen to her if she stayed another minute on this lonely street. She noticed there wasn't even an insect passing through and the narrow road was surrounded by tall trees, shrubs and grasses.

Anything could be lurking behind those tress. She looked around checking if anyone was coming and somehow she was glad no one was coming but at the same time she was frightened she was alone Too verbose. Kindly rephrase.

It was like she was alone in the whole word world and that made her shiver in fear. She could feel goosebumps form on her arms.

The number one thing she needs to do is flush negative thoughts out of her mind The first thing she needed to do was get rid of the negative thoughts circling her mind. Still pacing, she thought about seeing Richard again. It would be quite nice. If she should recall vividly, it had been almost a year since she last saw him Kindly insert a full stop here

Then returning her pacing to the other side of the road, she saw a shadow coming l[i]oom[/i] towards her. It was the shadow of an hefty man with quite an a height and the strides he was taking was were quite amazing. It was as though it was thrice an average person's stride three times the strides of an average person.

Taking a few steps backwards backward, Tori dialed dialled James James' number but she got the beeping sound. Just when she was trying his number once again, she felt a fat palm on her shoulder and her eyes went wide with fright. She closed her eyes almost immediately.

'Please don't kill me... Replace with either a semicolon or a comma I have no money but you can take my stuffs belongings.'

Rough Review. For a more professional and neater job, contact larrysun4real@yahoo.com.

Stay blessed.

LarrySun:
Rough Review. For a more professional and neater job, contact larrysun4real@yahoo.com.

Stay blessed.

Can other people send their works 4 review??

yorhmienerd:


Can other people send their works 4 review??

Yes.

nice 1. Am with my popcorn and soft drink waiting patiently 4 next update

please Fiyah your updates are getting short

Hmm I had to stay up till dis time to catch up, superb story

LarrySun:
Rough Review. For a more professional and neater job, contact larrysun4real@yahoo.com.

Stay blessed.

Baba me I duff my hat for you oo. You rock man

LarrySun:
Yes.

Thanks.

LarrySun:
Rough Review. For a more professional and neater job, contact larrysun4real@yahoo.com.

Stay blessed.

giving honor to those whom honor is due..... Bros I respect you..You're just good....even much more than good

Ghen..... Ghen !!!!!!!!!!!!

Fiyah, your fb profile url please.

Suspense is one of the qualities of a good writer... but quite unhealthy for zealous readers like myself.
N
i
c
e
story though.

Fiyah. Your id looks familiar, are you a student of Unilorin?

mzdee01:
Really

Yeah! We are..... dnt u think so?

LeEberry:
Yeah! We are..... dnt u think so?

NO ooooo.

Fiyah, thumbs up. Fiyah, thumbs up.

.......