If you put God first, You will stand out among the multitude.

Despite the rise and rise of Divorce cases, especially among the so-called celebrities, A Former Miss U.S who has been married for over 17years still enjoys her marriage like she got married to her husband some days ago.

She share with us:
7 Keys To A Fantastic Marriage

A Nigerian proverb says: "what an elder see from his seat, a young man might not see it even when he climb to the tallest of the mountains" going with that in mind, let us learn from an expert, a former Miss USA (celebrity), a spiritual coach and award winning author, Terri Britt.

1. Find the love within (Put God First). Most marriages suffer because they have been programmed in our world to find love and approval outside of ourselves. This is why we deny our needs and suppress ourselves in our marriages and relationships. We want to experience love so we perform and look for our partners to “fill us up” in return. But as long as you do this, you will never experience the love you seek. You have to find it within, and you do that by giving yourself permission to honor and love the way you were created. In other words, put God first by saying yes to the real you.

2. Embrace the gift in the crap. Yes, there will be crap. We’re all carrying around old programming in our subconscious minds that cause us to react to our spouses. But instead of blaming your partner when you find yourself wanting to kick him/her out the door, give thanks for the gift that is being presented. You’re being taken on an adventure to your heart.

When you react negatively to your spouse, it’s because your brain is sending a message loud and clear that you have a belief that’s running your life and it’s not @your truth. Instead of getting caught up in the anger, judgment, blame, resentment, or you name it, see your feelings as messengers of God. They are calling you to go within and find the real you.

3. Acknowledge your spouse. This is a hard one if your marriage is already struggling, but it is a key component to breaking down walls that have been built up over time.

There is a tendency to blame your partner for what’s wrong in a marriage. But as long as there is blame, there will be walls. Each day, focus on what is special about your partner instead of playing the blame card.

4. Allow your partner his/her journey. Often times when our partners are working through the murky waters of inner struggles, we either want to fix them or we take their negative withdrawn attitude personally. But it’s not about you. It’s about them. The most loving thing you can do is to hold a space of allowing. Give your partner time to heal.

Do not take over his problem and then remind him what he missed and all that, instead ask him "how can I be of help". You will be amazed at the answers you'd receive. I’ve been doing this long enough now that I trust this process to show me the most loving actions to take for my hubby.

5. Laugh! Laugh at yourself and laugh with your partner. As you walk this loving path and embrace yourself, you will begin to laugh more. Do this together. Don’t take life so seriously. Think of your relationship as a grand spiritual adventure to creating a deep connection to the love inside of you. This connection is all about joy, peace, playfulness and passion. Instead of finding fault with the other, laugh at your own quirks. Say them out loud and your partner will eventually feel safe enough to the do the same. Then you can laugh together.

6. Be passionate. I’m talking about in the bedroom and in life. Live life full out! The more you express your passions, the more your spouse is going to want to be with you.

Find things that make your heart sing. Instead of allowing life to control you, take life by the horns and find what makes you tick.

7. Let go of guilt. Loving yourself goes aagainst the grain of what we’ve been taught creates a great marriage. But it’s not really about loving yourself; it’s about no longer making the other person responsible for your happiness. Most of us have not been taught to have this kind of authentic relationship. So when we start walking an enlightened path, we often question ourselves and feel guilty.

Guilt shuts you down to intimacy. It creates walls between you and your partner. It shuts you down to the love inside of you, and the love you want to give to your spouse. Let it go. It serves no purpose other than to tell you that you’re wrong for being you. And that is not the truth.

Note:
The write up was adopted from her original writeup on the same topic, available here Huffpost.com

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halfricanadian:
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