I've been in relationship with this guy for close to 4 years now. I'd not dated anyone else before but I can boldly say this guy is amazing.He’s a wonderful person and I’m lucky to have him in my life. He is sweet and caring and accepting all of my (many) flaws.

it’s not that I don’t care about him ooo but that special feeling of “I love you, I need you, I want to be with you” has kind of evaporated from my heart. Everything he does or say now irritates me. That spark is not just there for me. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

please believe me when I say I'm not seeing nor eyeing another man. In fact the yearning for guys attention is not just there for me. I'm enjoying being alone and peaceful.

But on the contrary, the guy shows me so much love and check on me several times daily. And I still don't know why I'm not heads over heels in love with him again(i used to) . Dunno if sth is wrong with my head or I'm possessed or sth. I even pray everyday that God should bring the love back to my heart.

Have i fallen out of love? Can I bring back the feelings? What should I do? Coz I don't want to lose him. I don't want to end the relationship. I don't want to do anything I'll regret because this guy is truly in love with me.

Someone should please talk sense into me . Thanks.

Cc: lalasticlala

Do u guys quarrel @ all? If not then u need it once in a while. Quarrel sometimes can help u guys sustain your relationship & fall in love the more. If d guy continue to show love but doesn't quarrel with you once in a while then I expect what u r going through now.
Quarreling not like fighting or boxing o but having some vexing for one another once in a while & refusing to talk to one another for one or two days. By that u will miss one another & when u start off again, it will b a brand new love relationship btw u two.
But u have to know how to play it not to get out of hand.

You guys need a temporary separation. Maybe a long travel can help.

You don't love him anymore and you still don't want to let go of him?

Women are just too complicated

You see, your problem is not falling out of love, but you have become used to him, and have allowed your feelings for him take the exit route because you feel that he will always be there to show U love regardless of ur odds.
One thing is sure: it is not better outside. You should concern yourself on how to reinvigorate the dying love now that the guy has not usain-bolted, because it's clear that you are not requiting his love.
Again, if you are sexually involved, you have to stop. Change activities, switch roles, give yourselves opportunity to miss each other, i.e. a temporary/limited space.

I guess u are between the ages of 19-23...so if u were married to him, u will want out...u are immature

It's not bad to fall out of love, but where you're landing.

be HONEST and tell him exactly what you wrote on this thread (he deserves that much from you), and let both of you accept that this is where your r/ship stands, and probably shouldnt waste any more valuable time together.

You are not alone. A lot of long time relationships usually experience things like this. It's because you have gotten used to him. One thing you should know is that at times like this, you have to make conscious effort to reinvigorate the love. Even in the dictionary, love is both a noun and a verb. You take actions before the feelings can come back
Try not to think about it for too long. Take him out to have fun, go for site seeing, buy new things to surprise him. Do things like singing with him, dance with him, role play. If he likes football, try to go and watch with him. When you wake up every morning bring him to your subconscious by telling yourself I wonderful he is and that you love him so deeply. Look at his picture, especially those ones you took on some memorable events of your relationship. Say something like "I love (his name) and will always do" like ten times every morning.

Ermmmm, your spiritual husband is a jealous one that explains why the lovey dovey feelings you had for your man just evaporated into thin air all of a sudden....

Visit any mountain of fire branch nearest to you for deliverance.
Na joke o!

saderry:
I've been in relationship with this guy for close to 4 years now. I'd not dated anyone else before but I can boldly say this guy is amazing.He’s a wonderful person and I’m lucky to have him in my life. He is sweet and caring and accepting all of my (many) flaws.

it’s not that I don’t care about him ooo but that special feeling of “I love you, I need you, I want to be with you” has kind of evaporated from my heart. Everything he does or say now irritates me. That spark is not just there for me. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

please believe me when I say I'm not seeing nor eyeing another man. In fact the yearning for guys attention is not just there for me. I'm enjoying being alone and peaceful.

But on the contrary, the guy shows me so much love and check on me several times daily. And I still don't know why I'm not heads over heels in love with him again(i used to) . Dunno if sth is wrong with my head or I'm possessed or sth. I even pray everyday that God should bring the love back to my heart.

Have i fallen out of love? Can I bring back the feelings? What should I do? Coz I don't want to lose him. I don't want to end the relationship. I don't want to do anything I'll regret because this guy is truly in love with me.

Someone should please talk sense into me . Thanks.

Cc: lalasticlala

Just take a break and miss him, try this, it work wonders.

saderry:
I've been in relationship with this guy for close to 4 years now. I'd not dated anyone else before but I can boldly say this guy is amazing.He’s a wonderful person and I’m lucky to have him in my life. He is sweet and caring and accepting all of my (many) flaws.

it’s not that I don’t care about him ooo but that special feeling of “I love you, I need you, I want to be with you” has kind of evaporated from my heart. Everything he does or say now irritates me. That spark is not just there for me. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

please believe me when I say I'm not seeing nor eyeing another man. In fact the yearning for guys attention is not just there for me. I'm enjoying being alone and peaceful.

But on the contrary, the guy shows me so much love and check on me several times daily. And I still don't know why I'm not heads over heels in love with him again(i used to) . Dunno if sth is wrong with my head or I'm possessed or sth. I even pray everyday that God should bring the love back to my heart.

Have i fallen out of love? Can I bring back the feelings? What should I do? Coz I don't want to lose him. I don't want to end the relationship. I don't want to do anything I'll regret because this guy is truly in love with me.

Someone should please talk sense into me . Thanks.

Cc: lalasticlala

Just take a break and miss him, then the feelings will resurgenerate, ensure you guys dnt see each other for the time being until you start feeling this vacuum/emptiness of him in you, then you can now sort for him...and if you still do not miss or feel that vacuum/emptiness in you, pls move on.



Note, do this by his consent...if he truely loves you he will wait, but if he says otherwise, pls break up and move on...don't force yourself to love or beg somebody to love you.

hmm.... maybe you are approaching your menopause. just saying shaa.

firstking01:
Just take a break and miss him, then the feelings will resurgenerate, ensure you guys dnt see each other for the time being until you start feeling this vacuum/emptiness of him in you, then you can now sort for him...and if you still do not miss or feel that vacuum/emptiness in you, pls move on.




Note, do this by his consent...if he truely loves you he will wait, but if he says otherwise, pls break up and move on...don't force yourself to love or beg somebody to love you.

Due to some factors, we now live several miles apart. And we see like every 2 to 3 months. And I'm still not missing him.
When u say take a break, do you mean seeing once in a while? Not taking calls or what?

saderry:


Due to some factors, we now live several miles apart. And we see like every 2 to 3 months. And I'm still not missing him.
When u say take a break, do you mean seeing once in a while? Not taking calls or what?

Wow, i think you should make him understand that the chemistry is no longer there rather staying with him in pretence that you love him.

mascot87:
Do u guys quarrel @ all? If not then u need it once in a while. Quarrel sometimes can help u guys sustain your relationship & fall in love the more. If d guy continue to show love but doesn't quarrel with you once in a while then I expect what u r going through now.
Quarreling not like fighting or boxing o but having some vexing for one another once in a while & refusing to talk to one another for one or two days. By that u will miss one another & when u start off again, it will b a brand new love relationship btw u two.
But u have to know how to play it not to get out of hand.

We do quarel once in awhile. In fact a lot these days coz of my lackadaisical attitudes. But he always I mean always try to settle everything before the day runs to an end. He's that nice.

SirJeffry:
You guys need a temporary separation. Maybe a long travel can help.

For 6-8 months now.. .we seen each other only twice. Is there any separation that can be more than this? Or separation in terms of temporal breakup?

poshestmina:
You don't love him anymore and you still don't want to let go of him?

Women are just too complicated

We are very complicated. Why I don't want to let him go is coz he's done nothing to offend me. He'll be very heart broken. That's when you'll be seeing topics like my gf of 4 years just ended our relationship for no reason.women are wicked. Blah blah blah.

And secondly he truly loves me. There's no surety that the next man I'll meet would treat me like this. I used to love him deeply before but I just don't know what went wrong.

Peritus:

You see, your problem is not falling out of love, but you have become used to him, and have allowed your feelings for him take the exit route because you feel that he will always be there to show U love regardless of ur odds.
One thing is sure: it is not better outside. You should concern yourself on how to reinvigorate the dying love now that the guy has not usain-bolted, because it's clear that you are not requiting his love.
Again, if you are sexually involved, you have to take a very long break. Change activities, switch roles, give yourselves opportunity to miss each other, i.e. a temporary/limited space.

That's what I'm saying! It's not better outside. That's why I just don't want to give up just like that. Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate.

maybe you dont like him before he asked you out and you are in the relationship for "bf/gf sake" or someone hurt you.......just say

firstking01:
Wow, i think you should make him understand that the chemistry is no longer there rather staying with him in pretence that you love him.

Before coming here on nl, I already discussed that with him. I did that just last week . He was very happy that I opened up to him And promised to renew the feelings in me. And since then he intensified his calls.,msgs, sending romantic songs, and using the "I love you " phrase like water. But I just don't feel the same.
Thanks for ur replies and time.

This happens when you feel a long term relationship is not leading to anywhere, this happens when you compare your long term relationship with your friends relationship of 1year and now your friend is settled while you are still dating, you are not falling out of love my dear its just that your present feeling is not healthy for the relationship, you still seem to love him as much as before, according to your story, i dont see any future in this relationship, i can only see past and present in the relationship, a relationship of 4years is old enough to have a future, he seems not to be talking about settling with you, relationship does not end with "i love you", relationship as long as that without future could cause your change in character, so check well, if its as a result of this, i will advice you to think of sorting things out with him instead of the change in character.

saderry:


Before coming here on nl, I already discussed that with him. I did that just last week . He was very happy that I opened up to him And promised to renew the feelings in me. And since then he intensified his calls.,msgs, sending romantic songs, and using the "I love you " phrase like water. But I just don't feel the same.
Thanks for ur replies and time.

Still do as i said...btw, you welcome?

I understand where you are coming from especially with your feelings,dating someone for more than 3years one might tend to lose the glamour but girl,love isn't that good chil that runs through one's mind,take for instance when you got admitted to university,you were so excited and all but as day turned into months you lost that initial excitement and got used to the routine of schooling.Go and ask your mom,she no longer feels the hormonal love she once had for your dad,rather she is more concerned about the character of your dad,love is patient and the soul of this world would test everything including our will.Don't make this boy know that he can do without you(He can)He is still innocent.if you leave him you will get the excitement you want but it would only lead you through a series of hearbreaks, Define loyalty?

saderry:
I've been in relationship with this guy for close to 4 years now. I'd not dated anyone else before but I can boldly say this guy is amazing.He’s a wonderful person and I’m lucky to have him in my life. He is sweet and caring and accepting all of my (many) flaws.

it’s not that I don’t care about him ooo but that special feeling of “I love you, I need you, I want to be with you” has kind of evaporated from my heart. Everything he does or say now irritates me. That spark is not just there for me. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

please believe me when I say I'm not seeing nor eyeing another man. In fact the yearning for guys attention is not just there for me. I'm enjoying being alone and peaceful.

But on the contrary, the guy shows me so much love and check on me several times daily. And I still don't know why I'm not heads over heels in love with him again(i used to) . Dunno if sth is wrong with my head or I'm possessed or sth. I even pray everyday that God should bring the love back to my heart.

Have i fallen out of love? Can I bring back the feelings? What should I do? Coz I don't want to lose him. I don't want to end the relationship. I don't want to do anything I'll regret because this guy is truly in love with me.

Someone should please talk sense into me . Thanks.

Cc: lalasticlala

Its normal, you should read the redpill, its because he shows so much love and is caring and this has now being turned to either being too boring or predictable, he no longer tickles your fantasy, sadly non of us can answer your problem, because most women themselves don't really know what they want, my only advice is to be honest and break up with him if you feel you no longer feel love for him, so another person can take your place and repeat the whole circle again. Oh rather since the problem is from you and not him, maybe you should find ways to spice up the relationship after all he's the happy one and you're the one not happy. Peace out

Note: It was bound to happen, most relationships don't last

poshestmina:
You don't love him anymore and you still don't want to let go of him?

Women are just too complicated

You know dem very well..

What u going through aint new...see,u need some space(u need 2 miss him)because u're getting bored about d same routine of love&care 4rm d guy(typical of mr nice guy). U know u just might start 2 value him&in d long run,see yourself trying 2 catch up...

Op, for me o, I think love is a conscious decision and is not some feelings based on the temporary highs of pumping hormones (but the initial gragra of love is sweet o ). To decide to be faithful, loyal and honest, after four years of relationship with all the temptations flying about on two feet can only be sincere love. Una own don become mature love, and like fine wine, true love matures with age.

Who even told you the guy is not feeling the way you are feeling too? But he has given you his heart and decided to love you, and you say he is an amazing guy? Babes hold your man tight, igboro o rerin rara, faithful men are getting scarcer by the day.

Decide to love him, eventually in every relationship love becomes a decision, so decide to love him, decide to be his, and your heart will open to him again. You will so love him that you will be so afraid of losing him.

My two pence

saderry:


We are very complicated. Why I don't want to let him go is coz he's done nothing to offend me. He'll be very heart broken. That's when you'll be seeing topics like my gf of 4 years just ended our relationship for no reason.women are wicked. Blah blah blah.

And secondly he truly loves me. There's no surety that the next man I'll meet would treat me like this. I used to love him deeply before but I just don't know what went wrong.

Love is an intoxicant and like all other intoxicants, it wears off.

poshestmina:
You don't love him anymore and you still don't want to let go of him?

Women are just too complicated

Travel to where kwa
To leave work and family to travel?

pcguru1:


Its normal, you should read the redpill, its because he shows so much love and is caring and this has now being turned to either being too boring or predictable, he no longer tickles your fantasy, sadly non of us can answer your problem, because most women themselves don't really know what they want, my only advice is to be honest and break up with him if you feel you no longer feel love for him, so another person can take your place and repeat the whole circle again. Oh rather since the problem is from you and not him, maybe you should find ways to spice up the relationship after all he's the happy one and you're the one not happy. Peace out

Note: It was bound to happen, most relationships don't last

Thanks bro