dis is d story of my life, pls i need u advice on wht 2 do.

14 Aug 2003, i came across a guy we started dating but d guy is not straight forward always talking in parables above all full of himself, i was bearing all believing tins will work out one day but no way, Mar 2005 i came across another guy so i was dating d 2 guys but dey don’t kn, dis one was down 2 earth 2 make me happy and above all very plain and straight forward, we were dating d love was growing everyday in fact if i don’t see him it looks as if i am incomplete. Jul 2006 he left 4 S/Africa, he promise 2 come back in 6 months time. b/4 he left, he told me dat we have gone a long way but he will not say anytin now, dat if he comes back and i am still single dan he will kn dat is d will of God, d relationship will move 2 d next level ( marriage) i accepted.

8 months after he left i did not hear anytin 4rm him, i decided 2 move on with my life stopped thinks abt him continued with d first guy still notin was still coming out he never mentioned marriage all through. 22 Sept 2008 d one dat traveled came back and proposed me i accepted. The frist guy hard abt it and said dat d marriage will never hold as far as he is alive. Since dan it has been problem here and there.

WHT DO I DO.

_{*omo u go fear*}

I'ld say,eliminate him! Hehehe,just kidding.
U need to tell the guy that proposed to u about his rival(if he doesn't know) and let him know about the threat. Dunno if telling the police would solve anything.
_{*that's what u get for double-dating*}

how did he get to know that u have been proposed
no bi ur tongue so next time brittle it

nana:

U need to tell the guy that proposed to u about his rival(if he doesn't know) and let him know about the threat. Dunno if telling the police would solve anything.
_{*that's what u get for double-dating*}

I 2nd this all the way! n lemme add    etoiee 

nkeiru2005:

dis is d story of my life, pls i need u advice on wht 2 do.

14 Aug 2003, i came across a guy we started dating but d guy is not straight forward always talking in parables above all full of himself, i was bearing all believing tins will work out one day but no way, Mar 2005 i came across another guy so i was dating d 2 guys but dey don’t kn, dis one was down 2 earth 2 make me happy and above all very plain and straight forward, we were dating d love was growing everyday in fact if i don’t see him it looks as if i am incomplete. Jul 2006 he left 4 S/Africa, he promise 2 come back in 6 months time. b/4 he left, he told me dat we have gone a long way but he will not say anytin now, dat if he comes back and i am still single dan he will kn dat is d will of God, d relationship will move 2 d next level ( marriage) i accepted.

8 months after he left i did not hear anytin 4rm him, i decided 2 move on with my life stopped thinks abt him continued with d first guy still notin was still coming out he never mentioned marriage all through. 22 Sept 2008 d one dat traveled came back and proposed me i accepted. The frist guy hard abt it and said dat d marriage will never hold as far as he is alive. Since dan it has been problem here and there.

WHT DO I DO.

How come you knew what to do (Double-dating) when the first guy wasn't straight forward and always speaking in parables and now you are asking "WHAT DO I DO".

I would say you posited yourself where you are right now by double-dating you should have let go of the first guy if you truly werent feeling him before hitting it off with the second guy whom you felt was your dream man.The way it stands now i see you losing out on both ends but i honestly pray it works out for you but girl the blame is all on you.

You were trying to knock down 2 birds with one shot.

Wish you the best girl.

I don't feel sorry for u at all, when u were busying dating 2 of them did u come here to ask us whether its right?

Stop feeling sorry for urself and face the music. Rubbish!!

nana:

_{*omo u go fear*}


U need to tell the guy that proposed to u about his rival(if he doesn't know) and let him know about the threat. Dunno if telling the police would solve anything.
_{*that's what u get for double-dating*}

I third this all the way!

@poster
Shut up and stop feeding us with lies, you were double dating you unfaithful bitch. You were in a relationship since 2003 and did not leave even when it was bad up till 2005 when you decided to double date and you still wnet back to the bad relationship after the supposed better man came, you are a liar a cheating one, Bad girl

kidsam:

@poster
Shut up and stop feeding us with lies, you were double dating you unfaithful bitch. You were in a relationship since 2003 and did not leave even when it was bad up till 2005 when you decided to double date and you still wnet back to the bad relationship after the supposed better man came, you are a liar a cheating one, Bad girl

My view exactly!!

The frist guy hard abt it and said dat d marriage will never hold as far as he is alive.

is he mad you sef, ur going out with illiterate mugus.

What goes around comes around, it's your price for two-timing. Enjoy it!

The liar has seen that no one is enjoying her story and has wisely decided to be quiet, shhhiooooo

The liar has seen that no one is enjoying her story and has wisely decided to be quiet, shhhiooooo

lol, cant remember the last time i heard that,

the story can be true. Why? I was almost in similar scenerio years ago. After my secondary school days, I had my first love which run for 8 years. Like the poster's first guy, I always speak in parable even till date. I didnt defiled my lady and kept faith with her. Unknown to me, she started secret one. And within few weeks, the other guy (who live closer to her) has brainwashed her into sex and from then, it was a cat and mouse game. I found out through my brother that she is double dating and my virgin lady is now sleeping around!

What did I do?

Madam poster, what I did was to visit the gal late at night, though it was very inconvinence to me. I went to her house at 7pm and waited for her till 10pm. I lived in lagos, and she in ogun. But my brother live on her street, so I was prepared for it.

When she finally appeared, I sat her down and talked as if nothing has happened. I love using parables alot (and those familiar with me here will have seen that). But that day, I told her things that made her cry. It is not that she didnt understand the parable. It is just that the second guy was closer, and faster. I blessed my girl and asked her to go ahead with d second guy. In short, I freed her.

She came back months later to beg! I heard the new guy was a pervert he maltreated her a lot. Anyway, I didnt send her back and I didnt take her serious anymore. She eventually married the guy. It isnt a smooth wedding as she espected. Even after having a kid, she still return to beg! But this time, shame wont allow her to visit me again.

My points?
The guy talking in parable must have been telling you something that made you sticked to him in the first place. You cant tell us that in over 2 years, he never mention about his plan and desire. That would be an indictment of you. What stopped you from asking for clarification? And what make you stay longer with him when you dont understand him?

Unfortunately, the deed is done!

The second guy has advantage not because he didnt speak parable (you know my lady think writting love poem is parable?) but because he is more flashy and maybe the allure of travelling out of a rotten country is an irresistible bait. But he may also be a good man.

Let me ask the following questions:
1. Supposing the SAfrica guy has been deported or returned home worse off, will you still have left the parable guy?

The answer to that question will tell more about the kind of love you had for him.

My suggestions:
In as much as you have decided to go with SA guy, you must not underestimate your first guy. You cheated on him by double dating. And the general problem with double dating is that the player may lose everything when the victims find out.

If your first guy make too much noise about it and paint you in a bad light and the 2nd guy found out. A gradual distrust btw you and the 2nd guy will be established.

The key to your problem is your 2nd guy. He must be informed about the threat before it is too late. It is risky, because if he is an impatient type, he may dump you asap when he find out you are double dating. It is your cross!

Before you do the above, however, talk to you oracle. Let him know that he didnt propose and hence the reason you have to move on as you dont want to be wasted. That is if truly, he did not propose.

And when your 2nd guy accept your stories, learn to stick with one guy for better.

Well, not surprise.gals are always cheat, you have being play games enjoying ursef all dis while eh?now u are asking for what to do, you are not serious.

Well, not surprise.gals are always cheat, you have being play games enjoying ursef all dis while eh?now u are asking for what to do, you are not serious.

Thanks all, 4 d advice and insult as well. but 4 u all dat feel like rendering insult i hv seen wht ur product looks like. if i double dated i did it with reasons, even his friends blame him 4 every tin bcs d truth is clear. In life, learn 2 give second choice 2 people so dat u hv evidence against whn tins like dis come. Even God does so y won't we do d same as Christians. My special thanks go 2 Nana 4 ur advice i will do just dat.

There is no big deal in double dating,so far u r not yet married

freeview:

There is no big deal in double dating,so far u r not yet married

No big deal in double dating abi?

I wonder why girls make a big deal of it when guys decide to do it too.

@ Olanajim, thank u very much 4 ur story, yes i kn i wrong my frist guy but i did with reason, but 4rm d frist day i meet d second guy, i let him kn dat i hv an affair, i tell him every tin inrespect 2 dis issue, he is awere of d treat, d question he asked me was dat ( did he @ any piont told me he want 2 marry me and wht was my respond ) and d ans was no.

he made other efforts by inviting some of the guys friends and let dem kn wat is going on, and dey ask him 2 go ahead if he was seroius hw would hv done dat b/4 his coming back. also let me answer ur dis question (Supposing the SAfrica guy has been deported or returned home worse off, will you still have left the parable guy?) infact whn he came back he had problem he came back with nothing. he explained wht happend 2 me.

my dear money is not everytin mostly whn it has 2 do with marriage, ur happness should be ur major concern.

Hunny you were trying to eat your cake and have it. If you knew dude A wasnt cutting it, why did you stay with him? _{I guess to keep all options open}. Anyway sha tell dude B about dude A and hope for the best. Goodluck sha but I dont think its looking good for you

Some of you on this site always open a new id anytime you want to post a thread that tells how bad you are,you are just a bad girl,the guy suppose to poison you instead threating your wedding.You date 2 guys at the same time?I don't know why its hard for you ladies to admit you have got a boyfriend if another man propossed to you



And what make you think you will even be a good wife?

@poster,
As much as I know that all experiences cant be the same, there is a lot to learn from others. And yet, only a foolish man will turn blind eyes to reality.

If your final explanation is true, I want you to know that any man that go to the extent of threatening a woman with death just to marry the woman will be a violence husband. It will be a tragedy if you allow his threat to make you go to him even if you want to do so in the first place. He has shown the other side of him.

Did he want to marry you or he want you to wait for him?

As for the second guy, if you love him as to be his wife and he knew all these, then confide in him and both of you should map out plan of action. He as a man will know what to do. I just hope the first guy isnt an area boy because he may make you suffer physical damage.

I suggests you find a wise man to talk sense to the first guy while you and your prefared guy arrange your wedding. If the first guy go to far, try call the police.

You must be so good sha. Because guys dont fight over useless ladies.

olanajim:

@poster,
As much as I know that all experiences cant be the same, there is a lot to learn from others. And yet, only a foolish man will turn blind eyes to reality.

If your final explanation is true, I want you to know that any man that go to the extent of threatening a woman with death just to marry the woman will be a violence husband. It will be a tragedy if you allow his threat to make you go to him even if you want to do so in the first place. He has shown the other side of him.

Did he want to marry you or he want you to wait for him?

As for the second guy, if you love him as to be his wife and he knew all these, then confide in him and both of you should map out plan of action. He as a man will know what to do. I just hope the first guy isnt an area boy because he may make you suffer physical damage.

I suggests you find a wise man to talk sense to the first guy while you and your prefared guy arrange your wedding. If the first guy go to far, try call the police.

You must be so good sha. Because guys dont fight over useless ladies.

Nkeiru listen to this.

LOL,

Go ahead and hold ur wedding jo, the man no fit do nothin'.

Just make sure that U turn him down when he offers to make the cake or buy the drinks

@ Olanajim,  thks 4 your advice, i am very gr8ful, it shows d maturity in u. his friends told he dat if he try's anytin sutpid, dey will deal with him cos is all his fault. our wedding is coming up Dec.

@ stillwater,  thks, i hv listened.

nkeiru2005:

@ Olanajim, thks 4 your advice, i am very gr8ful, it shows d maturity in u. his friends told he dat if he try's anytin sutpid, dey will deal with him cos is all his fault. our wedding is coming up Dec.

@ stillwater, thks, i hv listened.

I stand with my previous comment, no excuse for double dating. U called for it, how will u feel if another woman is after ur man now? Happy?

Lets face it, u screwed up.

@ justwise
Y can't u be wise even 4 once in ur life.

nkeiru2005:

@ justwise
Y can't u be wise even 4 once in your life.

Wise in what sense? To praise u for dating 2 guys at the same time? What planet are u from? u asked for it nkeiru!! whether u told the first guy abt ur double dating or not that doesn't make it right. get real.

@ justwise

were u force 2 contribut, or is ur brother d frist guy. or ar u trying 2 tell me u hv never double dated or cheated on ur partner snice ur life. every dog eat born but is only d one caught in d act is a victim, u ar now claiming a saint, hw i wish i kn who someone who kns u better. i double dated YES, any normal human being in my shoe will do even more than wht i did. if his friends could be against him u ar u.

nkeiru2005:

@ justwise

were u force 2 contribut, or is your brother d frist guy. or ar u trying 2 tell me u hv never double dated or cheated on your partner snice your life. every dog eat born but is only d one caught in d act is a victim, u ar now claiming a saint, hw i wish i kn who someone who kns u better. i double dated YES, any normal human being in my shoe will do even more than wht i did. if his friends could be against him u ar u.

I can see that u are struggling to see my point. Nkeiru double dating is wrong, whether half Nigerian does it, it doesn't make it right. If u double date and get away with it then good for u but if u found urself in a mess like this then deal with it. Don't expect me to feel sorry for u.

Girls like u are morally inbalance, i don't double date, one woman at a time is my policy. I'm not a saint either but if i do the crime i do the time.