There's a thread on FP right now (supermarket boyfriend) that's generating a lot of controversies... Her boyfriend wants sex, she doesn't and somehow she's scared of losing him. She's wondering whether or not to give in and a lot of people are bashing her on the grounds that she's received financial favours from him and as such, it's only fitting that she returns the favour by allowing him have his way.

Well, the truth is that this sort of issue would always be a problematic one, all thanks to the status quo obtainable. A girl dating a guy expects him to foot her bills, and he in return expects to screw her whenever he wants.

Now, this is what I have to say about this. We all need a reorientation about how these things should work. First of all, each individual must decide what he/she wants to be... Celibate or sexually active. After that, you decide if you want to be in a relationship. And by relationship, I mean a proper one that's defined. But before you go into any relationship, you must first honestly answer these questions.

*Why do you want to go into a relationship?
*Are you sure you're ready for a relationship and all the hassles that come with it? Commitment, time, sincerity, misunderstandings, compromises, etc.
*What do you want out of a relationship?
*What are you bringing to the table? You definitely should have something to offer.
* State the rules from the beginning. Don't start what you can't finish.
*Keep your relationship private and don't compare that of others to yours. Your friends don't need to know that your man doesn't get you take you shopping or to exotic places or gives you money regularly or that you cook for him with your money.

It's high time we started getting our priorities right. For the girls, stop going into relationships JUST because you need someone who'd foot your bills. When you're in a relationship, don't make demands. In a healthy and proper relationship, you should be open and free with each other such that at every point in time, he knows what you really need and would assist if he can... Of his own volition, without you having to ask. Ask only when you're in dire need. Your needs are really not his responsibility. If he's the type that never does anything without you having to ask, then it's up to you to decide if you can deal with that.

If you're sleeping with him, it should be because you want to...because you like sex and don't care about abstinence. Lol. And not because you feel you owe him, or it's a way to keep the money coming.

And you must also keep it in mind that most guys are very much interested in sex. As a matter of fact, it's the one major reason why some of them desire to have a "girlfriend." It's the trophy for the chase. So, before you accept any guy's proposal make it clear from the get-go that it would a total no-sex relationship, except of course you are ready to play ball. Don't be fooled by the looks of them, even if he's your youth pastor. Lol. Should he walk away, oh well, there's no cow on the ice. But stick to your guns.

Very importantly, an ideal relationship should be hinged on "give and take." You shouldn't always be at the receiving end. Give too. Get him tangible presents, not only on his birthdays. Shower him with love. Find out what his problems are and see if you can help in any way. You should be someone he trusts to tell about his plans and goals in life. It shows you mean something to him and not just some mere existential entity. Go out of your way to do things for him sometimes. You may not be able to do much financially, but do something once in a while when you can... And of course, there are other things you can do. You can always think of things you can do for him. Kpanshing alone won't do. If that's all you're offering or all he's interested in, then you belittle yourself. Walk away. There's but a time allowed for foolishness.

At every point in time, we must assess and reevaluate our lives. There's so much I want to say, but...


Finally, in my very own highly, tremendously, "subjective" opinion, ABSTAIN and develop a tough skin. The benefits are plenty, whether or not you're a virgin. Don't start counting dicks in their droves before you make the decision. Allow them guys f*ck themselves. Lol. We'll begin to have some sanity after then.

Op, point of correction please ...

It isn't 'sleeping with him' ... it's 'sleep with each other' .... Girls enjoy sex as much as we do... So don't make it sound like you are benevolently dropping a coin in a beggar's bowl


As per the whole epistle. .. na una vagina... You girls are free to hoard it as much you want. ... Just as we guys are also free to alternatively, find multiple parking lots for our dicks.... ar least we are not having sex with her... so 'technically' , we are abstaining too

But Unrivalled Stupidity is when the girl withholds the Puna and still expects 'faithfulness' to her on the guy's part ..... yeah... You have his 'heart, his love, and even his soul' ... but since you have refused to accept his dick, which is supposed to be part of the whole 'package', what right do you have to demand that it shouldn't get a 'warm reception' in some other girl? ....

When you go to buy gift hampers, and tell the seller that you are not interested in some items in the hamper basket, do you have any right to stop the seller from selling the individual items you rejected? ....

Summary. ... Ladies, Abstinence is all good ....it increases the shelf-life, moisture quality of your vaginas, among other myriad benefits .... please keep up the zips.... just don't expect us to do same

this should be fun


this should sums it up.

"And you must also keep it in mind that most guys are very much interested in sex. As a matter of fact, it's the one major reason why some of them desire to have a "girlfriend." It's the trophy for the chase. So, before you accept any guy's proposal make it clear from the get-go that it would a total no-sex relationship, except of course you are ready to play ball. Don't be fooled by the looks of them, even if he's your youth pastor. Lol. Should he walk away, oh well, there's no cow on the ice. But stick to your guns"

Nice one OP




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Any man that expects sex from his woman as a reward for footing her bills is a foòl. Any lady that spreads her legs as a price to any man for footing her bills is a hoe.

Even cutehector loves this!

AS a lady, you cannot expect your boyfriend to keep spending on you without giving him sex. I am not saying its a good thing but what i am saying is that as a lady, when you become the receiver, a pest, then you should be ready to give in any way possible. But when you bring a lot in the relationship, when you sometimes give to your boyfriend, you spend your time, money on him, then the equation will be balance. when you tell him you dnt want sex, then he will respect you becaus you have given more than enough in the relationship.

I love this

konji na bastard Do you know Kissing smooching a guy but no show is an act of wickedness

OP I hope you follow your own advice? If not...

A girl is either a wife to be or a sex mate to a guy,it all depends on what you have to offer. U can't give what you don't have

Nice one

This is awkward...

Nice one.

Olivia if you really practice what you preach, then you're just the perfect girl.

Na that girl wey dey burst my brain topic....make I book space.

Laveda:
Nice one.

Olivia if you really practice what you preach, then you're just the perfect girl.

There's no perfect girl..

Fkforyou:
Na that girl wey dey burst my brain topic....make I book space.

See, this kind of joke dosen't go down well with me..

Hahaha! Wonders shall never end. See who's giving relationship advice.


Make I no talk again sha.

discoprophet:


See, this kind of joke dosen't go down well with me..

Why?

Fkforyou:

Why?

Lol. Just kidding, bro

discoprophet:


Lol. Just kidding, bro

Lol...no tell me say you too dey gbadu the babe.

She and Ishilove na correct babes....

OK..@ OP...you've made sense...although where you said she should state the rules governing the relationship you made it look like a contract. ..you know that kind Mr. Gray and Anastasia had.
Asides that, thumbs up.

In summary of your whole post, take charge of any relationship and don't leave everything to chance.

OK, nice write up, zone reality is the best. Nothing is real until it is personal. Each to his own.

joseph1832:
OP I hope you follow your own advice? If not...

Nice one

Laveda:
Nice one.

Olivia if you really practice what you preach, then you're just the perfect girl.

Nice one!!

Trendin:
Hahaha! Wonders shall never end. See who's giving relationship advice.


Make I no talk again sha.

She needs it more than anyone in the world