I was drawn to Oliviaarims's post by rosalieene and I felt I could add my own voice.

Okay, we all need relationship to pass through life and no man is an island, like the white man would say.

We have a problem in this country and I will like to address this into 3 categories and by extension, we will see where we are contributing.

Home, society and friends.

A lot of people get married even when they know that their financial capacity can not take care of a sustainable family. They get married, people celebrate them and after the wedding, the kids start to arrive. It will get to a time when they (Parents) can not take care of their offspring and therefore, the girls among them are left at the mercy of the society.

These girls go out to fend for themselves to get something to eat, shelter and clothes to wear. In some cases, when they make demand from their parents or friends, what they get is " Are you not a girl"?.

At this stage, the foundation of their upbringing is already faulty. Nobody teaches them how to exchange value, dignity, handwork, ingenuity for money.

Remember nobody was born bad. So, what changed and what is the cause of the changes?

Their parents do not even instill in them culture of good education and moral standards. When they start having and making friends, their friends influence their thought process. A girl who was a virgin is told to give her virginity up, after all who is she keeping it for. She take to their advice and give it to anybody, in most cases, not the guy who truly love and care for her but to random guy.

In the process, someone get hurt, the one who really cared but like anything, life must go on and so, the said girl start seeing herself as sex object by sleeping around because she has been subconsciously taught that is the way of life in the world. She has to get a guy to cater for her needs; it is only in some case by God's intervention that some retrace their steps but majority would just go on living a life dependent on their body.

They become so greedy, selfish and wicked in the process. They start having more than one boyfriend, dumping ones that can't measure up to them, giving themselves up to the highest bidder.

So what am I am driving at? In the "Supermarket boyfriend" thread, majority of the guys were telling the OP to give herself for sex since she has collected money from him. What they fail to realize is that they too will have a daughter someday; is that the best advice you or anyone would wish to give your daughter? Many will end up not being able to take care of their daughter and such, the scenario I described above will continue to happen.

This problem of girls collecting money from men is because they come from home where their parents failed in their responsibilities and can hardly take care of their needs at the early stages.

If you like, keep blaming girls and not learn to take care of your kids and children when they come or do you expect them to starve to death, wear rags? We just like attacking symptoms instead of causes.

iwatch:
I was drawn to Oliviaarims's post by rosalieene and I felt I could add my own voice.

Okay, we all need relationship to pass through life and no man is an island, like the white man would say.

We have a problem in this country and I will like to address this into 3 categories and by extension, we will see where we are contributing.

Home, society and friends.

A lot of people get married even when they know that their financial capacity can not take care of a sustainable family. They get married, people celebrate them and after the wedding, the kids start to arrive. It will get to a time when they (Parents) can not take care of their offspring and therefore, the girls among them are left at the mercy of the society.

These girls go out to fend for themselves to get something to eat, shelter and clothes to wear. In some cases, when they make demand from their parents or friends, what they get is " Are you not a girl"?.

At this stage, the foundation of their upbringing is already faulty. Nobody teaches them how to exchange value, dignity, handwork, ingenuity for money.

Remember nobody was born bad. So, what changed and what is the cause of the changes?

Their parents do not even instill in them culture of good education and moral standards. When they start having and making friends, their friends influence their thought process. A girl who was a virgin is told to give her virginity up, after all who is she keeping it for. She take to their advice and give it to anybody, in most cases, not the guy who truly love and care for her but to random guy.

In the process, someone get hurt, the one who really cared but like anything, life must go on and so, the said girl start seeing herself as sex object by sleeping around because she has been subconsciously taught that is the way of life in the world. She has to get a guy to cater for her needs; it is only in some case by God's intervention that some retrace their steps but majority would just go on living a life dependent on their body.

They become so greedy, selfish and wicked in the process. They start having more than one boyfriend, dumping ones that can't measure up to them, giving themselves up to the highest bidder.

So what am I am driving at? In the "Supermarket boyfriend" thread, majority of the guys were telling the OP to give herself for sex since she has collected money from him. What they fail to realize is that they too will have a daughter someday; is that the best advice you or anyone would wish to give your daughter? Many will end up not being able to take care of their daughter and such, the scenario I described above will continue to happen.

This problem of girls collecting money from men is because they come from home where their parents failed in their responsibilities and can hardly take care of their needs at the early stages.

If you like, keep blaming girls and not learn to take care of your kids and children when they come or do you expect them to starve to death, wear rags? We just like attacking symptoms instead of causes.

OMG!! this is the best comment I have read so far!!!
I QUOTE;
"In the "Supermarket boyfriend" thread, majority of the guys were telling the OP to give herself for sex since she has collected money from him. What they fail to realize is that they too will have a daughter someday; is that the best advice you or anyone would wish to give your daughter?"

Bro, you made lot of sense up there. But do you know that there are some that even though the parents are well to do and takes care of all their material needs, they still go out there looking for a guy who will be spending extra for them? Some of them are even into runs. See, this is one of the reasons why l hate discussing women's matter cos their matter don tire me. You can never understand them or why they do what they do. The more you try, the more you are led into more complexities.



To marry don even they fear me sef!

From the begining let them tell the man what they actually want,...if the man agrees then they are good to go..if he disapproves let her go her way immediately not staying because of what you will get from the man...and when the man comes calling for what is underneath you start telling him the economy will come out of reccession in 2018...after yoh don chop him up and down ...

Dotwillis1:
hey this ladies aint loyal

Bro, we know but the cause is due to upbringing by parents (which you will become one day) and influence from friends.

I remember one time in my life and for the first time, I starved so much that I was almost driven to steal, the inner mind was tempted but I recalled I wasn't bred to steal. I was less than 15 at that time bro and this happened because we were going through some turmoil in our home.

osesology:
Bro, you made lot of sense up there. But do you know that there are some that even though the parents are well to do and takes care of all their material needs, they still go out there looking for a guy who will be spending extra for them? Some of them are even into runs. See, this is one of the reasons why l hate discussing women's matter cos their matter don tire me. You can never understand them or why they do what they do. The more you try, the more you are led into more compexities.



To marry don even they fear me sef!

Bros, it still boils down to upbringing. I know what I am saying. I am not talking about the kind of upbringing where you pamper a child but one that will instill good moral standards in them.

liquidmetall:
From the begining let them tell the man what they actually want,...if the man agrees then they are good to go..if he disapproves let her go her way immediately not staying because of what you will get from the man...and when the man comes calling for what is underneath you start telling him the economy will come out of reccession in 2018...after yoh don chop him up and down ...

Agreed. we all should be mindful of how we raise our kids, especially the girls.

rosalieene:

OMG!! this is the best comment I have read so far!!!
I QUOTE;
"In the "Supermarket boyfriend" thread, majority of the guys were telling the OP to give herself for sex since she has collected money from him. What they fail to realize is that they too will have a daughter someday; is that the best advice you or anyone would wish to give your daughter?"

It is just the way I see it. Female child should be more protected than the male child. If their minds are carefully nurtured and developed, they wouldn't grow up to be dependent on anyone. They will always want to compete with the men and even top them. I have no problem with the no sex until marriage but the lady, like Oliv. clearly stated in her post, has to bring something to offer.

Personally for me, I am not someone who sees sex like most guys. For instance, if a girl like bring the best sex in the world to me, I won't stay if she has nothing else to offer.

The things that move me are reasoning trajectory of a lady, smartness, intelligence, hardwork, taste for knowledge in diverse topics (That is why I respect ladies who engage men in the politics section) plus does she buy me stuff with her money once a while, does she call to check on me, does she motivate me, does she have a mind of her own to make some cogent decisions? In fact, Oliviaarims stated exactly what I would want a girl to do.

Unfortunately, girls like this are hard to find. The day I find such, ain't leaving her one bit. we sealing it within a short time.

It is not sex that even make guys decide to marry some girls, if your mind can reflect on African culture, you will have a glimpse of the reason.

iwatch:
It is just the way I see it. Female child should be more protected than the male child. If their minds are carefully nurtured and developed, they wouldn't grow up to be dependent on anyone. They will always want to compete with the men and even top them. I have no problem with the no sex until marriage but the lady, like Oliv. clearly stated in her post, has to bring something to offer.

Personally for me, I am not someone who sees sex like most guys. For instance, if a girl like bring the best sex in the world to me, I won't stay if she has nothing else to offer.

The things that move me are reasoning trajectory of a lady, smartness, intelligence, hardwork, taste for knowledge in diverse topics (That is why I respect ladies who engage men in the politics section) plus does she buy me stuff with her money once a while, does she call to check on me, does she motivate me, does she have a mind of her own to make some cogent decisions? In fact, Oliviaarims stated exactly what I would want a girl to do.

Unfortunately, girls like this are hard to find. The day I find such, ain't leaving her one bit. we sealing it within a short time.

It is not sex that even make guys decide to marry some girls, if your mind can reflect on African culture, you will have a glimpse of the reason.

Truly, sex alone wouldn't keep a man. It's funny though, the way some people go about hopping from one man's bed to the other and they feel fly because he's offering then stipends. And then at the end of the day when things don't work out, she consoles herself by saying, "at least I ate his money."

I'd more readily keep a friend who f*cks a guy because she's attracted to him and not because he's rich and would dole out cash in the long run

I think it all boils down to 'syndrome'

Oliviaarims:


Truly, sex alone wouldn't keep a man. It's funny though, the way some people go about hopping from one man's bed to the other and they feel fly because he's offering then stipends. And then at the end of the day when things don't work out, she consoles herself by saying, "at least I ate his money."

I'd more readily keep a friend who f*cks a guy because she's attracted to him and not because he's rich and would dole out cash in the long run

lol "at least I ate his money". They forget that the money can be replaced lol.

Some guys are attached to a lady cos of sex, I know someone who is and when I told him I don't he found it hard to believe, even accused me of being a gay lol.

It's a complicated issue, honestly.

rosalieene:

OMG!! this is the best comment I have read so far!!!
I QUOTE;
"In the "Supermarket boyfriend" thread, majority of the guys were telling the OP to give herself for sex since she has collected money from him. What they fail to realize is that they too will have a daughter someday; is that the best advice you or anyone would wish to give your daughter?"

That girl was as confused as fvck, i dnt blame the guy one bit....when you where busy collecting money and gift, what was going on in her mind??, that the guy is father christmas or what??...as far as i grasped that thread, the said girl wasn't a virgin neither was she a celibate or she was conciously abstaining, "NO", so, why blame the guy??

tosyne2much:
I think it all boils down to 'syndrome'

care to explain?

iwatch:
lol "at least I ate his money". They forget that the money can be replaced lol.

Some guys are attached to a lady cos of sex, I know someone who is and when I told him I don't he found it hard to believe, even accused me of being a gay lol.

It's a complicated issue, honestly.

Yes, it is.

firstking01:
That girl was as confused as fvck, i dnt blame the guy one bit....when you where busy collecting money and gift, what was going on in her mind??, that the guy is father christmas or what??...as far as i grasped that thread, the said girl wasn't a virgin neither was she a celibate or she was conciously abstaining, "NO", so, why blame the guy??

Nobody is blaming the guy who gave her money. But what I didn't like is the way so many guys where hammering on her giving up herself for sex as a pay back for what she has gotten from him. Did you also consider her own worries?

I don't think most of such ladies are doing so for wicked reasons except for the fear that he might not marry them or stay after they have had so much sex.

Op poverty is not a guarantee for a lady to give out her body for money, its not a gurantee for a lady to start acting as a pest to his boyfriend.
Most of the world power women today were born poor, but they took it upon themselfes to succeed without selling their body.
Poverty is suppose to be a motivation to poor ladies, they can learn a trade, handwork and other things that can give them money.
Poverty is a state of mind, and wealth is a state of mind.

iwatch:
care to explain?

Almost every Nigerian lady grew up with the ideology that men are born to provide for them, and as a result of this, it has become our norm in Nigeria.... This makes many of them not wanting for strive hard towards self dependent, therefore, they see men as Messiah that would help them out of their mystery. No matter the orientation you give to a lady, it will not totally remove that ideology

iwatch:


Nobody is blaming the guy who gave her money. But what I didn't like is the way so many guys where hammering on her giving up herself for sex as a pay back for what she has gotten from him. Did you also consider her own worries?

I don't think most of such ladies are doing so for wicked reasons except for the fear that he might not marry them or stay after they have had so much sex.

I was realigning my school of thought till this recent comment ,don't you think that's double standers ...You feel the ladies entertain fears the guys will ditch em after sex ,guys also have the same fears that ladies will ditch em after taking their money both parties have fears and doubts and sex doesn't keep any man in a relationship... That's why I like what Olivaarims said sexuality in any relationship should be based on mutual attraction ,not monetary so that way no one feels he or she gave more in the relationship...

drewxx88:
I was realigning my school of thought till this recent comment ,don't you think that's double standers ...You feel the ladies entertain fears the guys will ditch em after sex ,guys also have the same fears that ladies will ditch em after taking their money both parties have fears and doubts and sex doesn't keep any man in a relationship... That's why I like what Olivaarims said sexuality in any relationship should be based on mutual attraction ,not monetary so that way no one feels he or she gave more in the relationship...

I agree with you. But what

drewxx88:
I was realigning my school of thought till this recent comment ,don't you think that's double standers ...You feel the ladies entertain fears the guys will ditch em after sex ,guys also have the same fears that ladies will ditch em after taking their money both parties have fears and doubts and sex doesn't keep any man in a relationship... That's why I like what Olivaarims said sexuality in any relationship should be based on mutual attraction ,not monetary so that way no one feels he or she gave more in the relationship...

I agree with you. But you would agree with me that women are often at the receiving end and stigmatised in all of these.

sex is everywhere, the west has successfully corrupted us. chat app nd social media too has made sex easy. parents are at fault too. dey dont nonitor their kids or they even knw self

saintfellow:
Op poverty is not a guarantee for a lady to give out her body for money, its not a gurantee for a lady to start acting as a pest to his boyfriend.
Most of the world power women today were born poor, but they took it upon themselfes to succeed without selling their body.
Poverty is suppose to be a motivation to poor ladies, they can learn a trade, handwork and other things that can give them money.
Poverty is a state of mind, and wealth is a state of mind.

Bro, agreed but all these you have stated will not hold when a girl is born without monitoring and kind of life she leads. It takes the grace of God to direct her ways bro.

osesology:
Bro, you made lot of sense up there. But do you know that there are some that even though the parents are well to do and takes care of all their material needs, they still go out there looking for a guy who will be spending extra for them? Some of them are even into runs. See, this is one of the reasons why l hate discussing women's matter cos their matter don tire me. You can never understand them or why they do what they do. The more you try, the more you are led into more compexities.



To marry don even they fear me sef!

Don't be afraid of marriage.

Just pray to God to give you the right partner

I understand you Op.

But I don't think lack of money should make a lady sell her body. It should challenge her to achieve the best in life.

A wise and intelligent lady should make use of her brains and not her body.

lilyqueen:
I understand you Op.

But I don't think lack of money should make a lady sell her body. It should challenge her to achieve the best in life.

A wise and intelligent lady should make use of her brains and not her body.

Can you do what you do not know or were never thought?

You have no idea what it looks like to be in the world you ever knew!

Think about that!

iwatch:
I agree with you. But you would agree with me that women are often at the receiving end and stigmatised in all of these.

of course women always seem to get the bigger share of the shame cum stigma ...

tosyne2much:
Almost every Nigerian lady grew up with the ideology that men are born to provide for them, and as a result of this, it has become our norm in Nigeria.... This makes many of them not wanting for strive hard towards self dependent, therefore, they see men as Messiah that would help them out of their mystery. No matter the orientation you give to a lady, it will not totally remove that ideology

Just same way most Nigerian men believe a woman's place should be in the kitchen and taking care of household chores. That's also a typical Nigerian man mentality is.
secondly, an average Nigerian guy today encourage girls to collect money or favors from other guys directly or indirectly abi I lie?
So you see, in trying to point out other people's flaws, try to work on yours as well.

rosalieene:

Just same way most Nigerian men believe a woman's place should be in the kitchen and taking care of household chores. That's also a typical Nigerian man mentality is.
secondly, an average Nigerian guy today encourage girls to collect money or favors from other guys directly or indirectly abi I lie?
So you see, in trying to point out other people's flaws, try to work on yours as well.

wow, I was gonna reply that but I forgot. Let me see how he will do reply yours. You did well.

osesology:
Bro, you made lot of sense up there. But do you know that there are some that even though the parents are well to do and takes care of all their material needs, they still go out there looking for a guy who will be spending extra for them? Some of them are even into runs. See, this is one of the reasons why l hate discussing women's matter cos their matter don tire me. You can never understand them or why they do what they do. The more you try, the more you are led into more compexities.

To marry don even they fear me sef!

hahahahaha, True talk bro

rosalieene:

Just same way most Nigerian men believe a woman's place should be in the kitchen and taking care of household chores. That's also a typical Nigerian man mentality is.
secondly, an average Nigerian guy today encourage girls to collect money or favors from other guys directly or indirectly abi I lie?
So you see, in trying to point out other people's flaws, try to work on yours as well.

Make I dey look ni jare

tosyne2much:
Make I dey look ni jare

lol. Na wa o.