Women, taking advantage of men's weaknesses since Adam's . . . I can't deal . . .

Never try to send her home. I am married with kids. Once you leave her alone in Nigeria she will turn to worst. She will enter into serious relationship with other men. Manage her. No marriage is with out issues. Make sure she has no guy there that is disturbing her. God bless you

To advice you here, I'll like to take from experience and try to guess and touch the root cause of your marital problem. Your wife's character evolution to my best guess could be due to ur lack of playfulness and lack of ur continuity and evolution of ur romantic escapades with ur wife who used to be ur girlfriend back in ur campus days.
I'm guessing you've stopped playing the romantic games u used to play with ur wife when she was ur girlfriend. Guess what, women including ur wife love the continuity of those romantic games oh. Actually, now that you're married ur romantic games should evolve. If u're one of those guys that act like commanders to their wife in this modern times, I'm sorry, but ur problem will continue until u learn that u're now in modern times where being playful and romantic with ur wife is way to solve most problems. A good example is the issue at hand the u're lamenting to us now that you had to squiz and grab the router out of your wife's hand and told her off. In that situation, I think a better way to handle it is that u could have used that situation to playfully ignite a naughty game that would have led to very hot sex. Do even know women love a man that can make love to them at anywhere and at any position. Women love romantic and sexual surprises from their man.
I'm guessing u miss the signal that that's what she craves whenever she starts misbehaving. that's just the woman psyche.

My brother, just learn to be more playful and more romantic in most situations in ur marriage cos with this simple tools, ur wife will always call u her king everyday.
Goodluck and all the best in your marriage

DICKtator:
Wooow!!.
Dude you are in Saudi Arabia!!
Give her the beating of her life!!!!!

I even thought you were in America where you talk back at woman, poosie pig men police would lock you up!!!

You are in Saudi, beat the phucck out of her till she only sees black and blue (or flying birds!!!)

Lool, joke apart, you mean she hid a remote and later a whole console in her pant? You for just talk say na Yokozuna you marry instead of all this euphemisms you gave!!!

OK. Jokes apart, what's your FIFA username? Make I beat you well first!!

U just a cow

I wonder why you will come on this shitty forum filled with under aged boys/girls for advice. Guy, this is your cross, deal with it.

Is this how you run to people you don't know for advice? No wonder the woman dey disrespect you. How can you go back to someone that broke up with you when you traveled to hustled for both of you? This is the Genesis of your problem. I'm sure you begged her like a baby and she saw how weak you are emotionally. She must have been wondering, this guy na mumu o!

The things you see as 'love' or respect, women see it differently, they think you're just one big malumalu. If you want to send her packing ( I'm sure she would love it because she's tired of being with a 'weak man') do it and you don't need any advice on any forum. Be a man, mannnn!!!!!!!

Woman,a necessary evil...

chuksbogus2001:
I don't know how Saudi deals men beating women .let me tell u when we were small my mum used to be very arrogant and rude to my dad cos he is a quiet man not until my mums mother I mean her own mum told my dad to beat her .After my dad gave her a better beating peace ,love respect came to our house since 1984 till now my mum has never raise her voice against my dad. Am not advocating women battery but a times small spanking does the magic

.

The making of a wife beater. I hope the table turns back on you when you try to emulate your wife beater father

In conflict resolution we try as much as possible to be neutral.

Op I am not saying you are lying, but in conflict resolution we try to get your side of the story, her side of the story and finally we deduce the truth based on some questions we ask.

Nevertheless assuming what you said was exactly how it happened.
How long have you been married, her background, training and personality and current perception of your person would show how she relates with you.

I will never support her spitting on you though. Is she pregnant at the moment, there may be accumulation of anger in her over how she feels about you. She's trying to draw your attention to her. You said you have holidays 6 times in a year. Now finally the time for you two to bond together by shopping and spending time together you'll rather be playing games not with her but with yourself.

I feel she's frustrated. She needs attention. Sending her away is not the right move.
Talk with her. I didn't say talk to her. Be open with her as your wife and try not to speak harshly, be calm and listen to her.
After you have made up with her, tell her not to ever spit at you or insult you, but to talk when she needs to talk.

She asked you repeatedly, you could have answered her but you continued playing game like she doesn't exist. She is human and has feelings too. Women are emotional and she's lacking attention from you. Walking doesn't solve problems. Speaking about it does.
You know why you married her, remember it. Both of you are hurt right now. Go back and settle your differences.

Some of the people advising you here are teenagers. Are you willing to terminate your marriage based on that? Once you send her back, you have lost her completely. Remember that. Every marriage has its challenges, its only when you talk about it that people know. Some people here are experiencing far worse than yours right now.

Yours can still be saved by an open and honest talk with her. Let her express herself to you. Buy her presents, take her out, treat her like a queen and she'll recognize you as her king.

Finally you never mentioned whether she was working? Is she a house wife? You need to get her a job.

@op I don't know if you would read this but I must commend you for how far you have handled the bad situation in your home. Yes, you are a man. Not an ordinary man but a real man.

Having said that I need to tell you the truth. I am a married man so I want to advise on my little experience and some facts gathered from your post.

First let me tell you that sending your wife back to Nigeria does not solve the problem. Don't mind the kids advising you on this forum. Also, slapping/beating her is not the solution.

I perceive that you both have been having troubles because of certain things you didn't pay attention to. First year of marriage usually bring challenges as yours. But sincerely you can correct matters and bring peace to your home.

Let me mention that your wife did a very bad thing by her words and actions. That is for sure. But I see that there is a fundamental problem in your marriage. For instance, as a young husband your wife needs your attention and help in the house. If you come back from work and always playing games then you have not come to understand women.they have deeper emotions and feelings. She needs you to talk to her and assist her on house chores. She can get angry seeing you playing games while there's plenty of work to do in the house or running of errands outside the house. She needs you.
I see that you really love her so you need to demonstrate that to her. Stop playing games like a 7 year old boy. Communicate with your wife. She needs your attention. You are only a year into the marriage. You need to still be bonding together, romancing. talking, etc.Everyday when you return from work, find time to gist about how your day was, and how hers was, etc. This is more so because you are in a foreign land where you people don't have family or friends nearby to visit or talk to. I perceive your wife had been lonely emotionally. So take charge of her emotions.

Having said that, you can solve the problem on ground by following this advice: COMMUNICATION. Wake your wife up in the midnight and have a heart to heart discussion. Let her know much you love me and cherish her. Make her realize how much she hurt you by her words and spitting on you. I know you don't have to ask her to apologize, she would do so naturally. Then forgive her. But you also need to ask her what are the reasons for her bitterness to you. Let her talk while you listen. Then work at correcting the flaws she might raise. In all you need to be a complete man by forgiving her after her apologies.

You too need to apologise to her for not answering her when she asked about the Internet modem. Your lack of response was because you were engrossed with your game and ignored your soulmate. Haba it's not okay. Don't ever assume that she was already angry. Even if she was, she deserved a prompt calm answers to her question because she is your love.

You can email me for more advice

formailsalone(at) gmail(dot)com

sllay:


Dude, just because you grew up watching your temperamental dad knock out your mum's teeth every Christmas while she spent every alternate weekend recuperating in a hospital bed after he beat her to a coma doesn't mean that's the way women, worse still married women should be treated.

Some of us were raised in homely environments.

Don't end up like your dad, boy. Rise above female brutality!

Graphic!

Nice one, it's hard to believe he actually celebrated his mum being brutalized by his dad

LuvU2:
Go to your spiritual leaders/elders for advice. A face to face counsel is way better than putting it on social media.

spiritual what? Nonesense, women and their chicken brain,

This one pass me o. She spat on a human...her husband . Pls no vex...no vex biko. She must be high on something. Try to be more involved at home, maybe she misses how it used to be between you too.

Still, which kind spitting be that? She would apologize soon.

1. Maybe you are incompatible with her. It is possible that you are the major culprit,mor maybe it is she...but listen: it takes two to tango.
2. Your story is one version of the facts, plus we don't know the background of your relationship, which can explain a lot of what's going in now.
3. Your marriage will not get better. It will only get worse. What you get away with today, you'd want to get away with more in the future because you never suffered consequences. She WILL do the same things to you if she gets away with stuff.
4. Apparently you have no children, so that's a good thing because you don't want your child(ren) to witness immature behavior and fights from adults. They'd grow up to replicate the behavior.
5. I am an Ivorian living in the US and was in the same situation as you are now twenty years ago. We were incompatible. I have my weaknesses. She has hers. I thought things would change. They got worse with the years. I should have acted then and walked away when I tried my best but she took it as weakness.
6. If I were you I wouldn't send her back home NOW because that would be a bad decision taken under the counsel of anger.
7. Keep her in the house. It is also her house. Apologize to her for the part you played in the fight. If she doesn't do the same take note of it but don't say anything.
8. Be on your best behavior going forward. Every day. Treat her like a princess. Shower her with praise and show her respect at all time. Don't enter into silly arguments that you wouldn't remember six weeks from now.
9. Never show pride. It is a bad advisor.
10. If you treat your wife like a princess and she doesn't change then within a year you should terminate the relationship while you haven't invested too much into it.
11. But be honest with yourself. If you are REALLY the bad person in the relationship or one of the bad persons, sending her back to Nigeria won't do anything for you: your next relationship will also fail because you are the problem or part the problems.
12. Be nice to her at all time even if you decide to send her back. Never be mean to her. Never disrespect her in private or in person. Never ever ever put your hand on her. By going for the remote, you DID put your hand on her. That's classified as violence. You should know that and never do it again. Get more remotes. Get more electronics. You make enough money.
13. Your wife is a mirror of your behavior: you treat her well, she SHOULD also treat you well. Do your part first. It should work. If you HONESTLY do your part and it doesn't work, then no one would blame you for splitting.
14. Take your religion seriously. Everything you need is in your sacred book. That's the truth.

Forgive her, treat her case as the case of someone that is not in control of herself (possessed) and pray for her to regain her lost sense of reasoning.

My brother,i can appreciate why you came public with a private matter.Its actually a difficult time for you right now.But my bible tells me that marriage is for better and for worse,i don't know if it is the same with yours.I can assure you that i feel your pains,but i don't think sending her packing is the best option.Nobody is perfect even though i frown seriously on her attitude.How ever,you also have your blames,your wife asked you for some thing but you kept quiet hhhhmmm,Just immagine you were the one that asked her and you got the treatment of being ignored.But my advice is prayers and a lot of talking.I am not married any way but thats what has been helping my relationship.I talk to her when she goes wrong. Remember that no woman is perfect.This is a professional advice.

kabaka1:
To advice you here, I'll like to take from experience and try to guess and touch the root cause of your marital problem. Your wife's character evolution to my best guess could be due to ur lack of playfulness and lack of ur continuity and evolution of ur romantic escapades with ur wife who used to be ur girlfriend back in ur campus days.
I'm guessing you've stopped playing the romantic games u used to play with ur wife when she was ur girlfriend. Guess what, women including ur wife love the continuity of those romantic games oh. Actually, now that you're married ur romantic games should evolve. If u're one of those guys that act like commanders to their wife in this modern times, I'm sorry, but ur problem will continue until u learn that u're now in modern times where being playful and romantic with ur wife is way to solve most problems. A good example is the issue at hand the u're lamenting to us now that you had to squiz and grab the router out of your wife's hand and told her off. In that situation, I think a better way to handle it is that u could have used that situation to playfully ignite a naughty game that would have led to very hot sex. Do even know women love a man that can make love to them at anywhere and at any position. Women love romantic and sexual surprises from their man.
I'm guessing u miss the signal that that's what she craves whenever she starts misbehaving. that's just the woman psyche.

My brother, just learn to be more playful and more romantic in most situations in ur marriage cos with this simple tools, ur wife will always call u her king everyday.
Goodluck and all the best in your marriage

I tend to agree with you

Reading comments

VolTOxic:
Most men would have given her a beating, but you kept your cool. For that I respect and admire you. Now to the point, Yes. Please send her away. That woman hates you!

How can your own wife say that horrible thing and spat to you face?! She hates you. She have crossed the line.
You said your marriage is a curse. You are not happy at all. Neither is she. You are not making a mistake. Do it.

You are a true gentleman. You deserve better. You'll find someone to heal your wounds. Don't even waste your time for any shìt counselling. She is not the woman you fell for. That woman is gone the moment she spat. Forever.

I I think that you are completely right, sir. I can still still resolved Amicably.

My bros,
Sorry I had to come from this angle.
Your wife did nothing wrong. She only needed more ev ur attention during this pubhols.

Imagine, you refused to shop with her when u could afford to
Now you are home during holiday with your console playing game when you are supposed to be spinning her world with intimacy

She waited for u to no avail after wearing a short gown.
She seized remote and hid ''under her pant'' of all places
Game console, ''under pant again''

Haba bros!

So you wanted her to yell out to you like

''this man, stop being boring! I need sex!''

Even a revd father would have don better.

Tot you guys dated before marriage
You for don sabi all these signs naa

I blame both of you for this mess.

Firstly, you didn't handle the situation appropriately at all. It is not a bad thing for your wife to ask you to accompany her to shop! She wanted you around her, which is what any woman who loves her partner does. Even if you don't want to go, you could tell her politely and promise go to with her next time.

If your wife wants to use your stuff, you shouldn't say no (unless you're using it). In the case of a router, many people can use one at the same time. She's your wife and will always use your stuff till you leave this earth. What's yours is also hers and the same applies to hers.

When she asked for the router, you could have easily told her that you forgot it at the office and that you will bring it home the next day. Ignoring her "to avoid problem" was a st*upid and childish thing to do. Good communication in marriage is very important and it prevents/resolves a lot of problems! You can't resolve MOST problems by simply keeping quiet or ignoring the issue or your partner. You escalated the situation by not responding to her! By the way, why would you go to your office with the router? Your workplace has no internet?

You shouldn't have collected the remote from her by force! It probably bruised her hands when you squeezed it from her grip. You supposed to know how to calm your wife down. You're the man in your home and should behaved like one, not like an immature guy who was given a wife to marry and has no clue what to do.

Your wife should come first before your st*upid game. She felt the game was more important to you than giving her the attention she needed at that moment. It's a humiliating thing to do to your wife!

Secondly, I understand your wife's frustration and anger but she went too far by spitting on you. That's not the best way to react to an annoying husband. And that's the only thing I feel she did wrong.

She did the right thing by seizing the remote to get your attention but you blew it. A smart husband would apologize and pet her until she releases the remote.

A happy wife, a happy life. When a husband seeks to please his wife, he can single handedly change the atmosphere in his marriage. There are great benefits for both a husband and wife to seek each other's happiness in their relationship.

I think she needs ur attention down there that's y she hides d remote and everything there...Don't u think u play game alot and ignore her..it annoys women that's y she is over reacting

I'm not married but when my gf starts all these I just grab her....kiss her even if she fights me off I tame her down and romance her...in fact that's when our sex use to make brain

onatisi:
"Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement .in the end you ignore everything and click " I agree", so please men stop arguing with tour wives"

The day I read this quotation was the day I stopped arguing with women.as loving and caring as they are ,their brains sparks ar times like kazeem the mechanic wires ,when it does just ignore them and leave .

Who is dis kazeem sef that some pple talk abt on NL?

pragmatistm:
@op I don't know if you would read this but I must commend you for how far you have handled the bad situation in your home. Yes, you are a man. Not an ordinary man but a real man.

Having said that I need to tell you the truth. I am a married man so I want to advise on my little experience and some facts gathered from your post.

First let me tell you that sending your wife back to Nigeria does not solve the problem. Don't mind the kids advising you on this forum. Also, slapping/beating her is not the solution.

I perceive that you both have been having troubles because of certain things you didn't pay attention to. First year of marriage usually bring challenges as yours. But sincerely you can correct matters and bring peace to your home.

Let me mention that your wife did a very bad thing by her words and actions. That is for sure. But I see that there is a fundamental problem in your marriage. For instance, as a young husband your wife needs your attention and help in the house. If you come back from work and always playing games then you have not come to understand women.they have deeper emotions and feelings. She needs you to talk to her and assist her on house chores. She can get angry seeing you playing games while there's plenty of work to do in the house or running of errands outside the house. She needs you.
I see that you really love her so you need to demonstrate that to her. Stop playing games like a 7 year old boy. Communicate with your wife. She needs your attention. You are only a year into the marriage. You need to still be bonding together, romancing. talking, etc.Everyday when you return from work, find time to gist about how your day was, and how hers was, etc. This is more so because you are in a foreign land where you people don't have family or friends nearby to visit or talk to. I perceive your wife had been lonely emotionally. So take charge of her emotions.

Having said that, you can solve the problem on ground by following this advice: COMMUNICATION. Wake your wife up in the midnight and have a heart to heart discussion. Let her know much you love me and cherish her. Make her realize how much she hurt you by her words and spitting on you. I know you don't have to ask her to apologize, she would do so naturally. Then forgive her. But you also need to ask her what are the reasons for her bitterness to you. Let her talk while you listen. Then work at correcting the flaws she might raise. In all you need to be a complete man by forgiving her after her apologies.

You too need to apologise to her for not answering her when she asked about the Internet modem. Your lack of response was because you were engrossed with your game and ignored your soulmate. Haba it's not okay. Don't ever assume that she was already angry. Even if she was, she deserved a prompt calm answers to her question because she is your love.

You can email me for more advice

formailsalone(at) gmail(dot)com

That's more like it. Problem solved.

sllay:


Your ánal orifice should be impaled with a red hot, rusted boiling ring for suggesting he should physically assault a woman who didn't harm him physically , worse still his wife.
He either spits back in her face (which is childish) or spends time away from her to clear his head, take stock of the happenings in their relationship, wait if she'll show remorse (this is almost certain) then extract a promise that she'd never go on the offensive against him physically or verbally and they'd always discuss with/talk to each other to resolve their differences.
Once you slap her once, you'd slap her again and before you know it you're a wife-beater.

I agree with you that no human being should physically assault another whether in marriage or not. But the kind of torture you recommend for the wrong suggestion given should never even be imagined by any human being. You seem to be more evil than all.

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Nigga I respect you as a person, but as a man? You really need to learn a lot. If you had me as a friend in the university, you definitely would'NT have gotten married to this shrew. The cross is yours already since love blinded you. You have to figure out how to deal

‎Cc: nameerfhetennek
‎
Hmmmm, guys de always fuckup sha.

A girl you were in a serious relationship with left u to start dating another older man just because u left the country to seek for a greener pasture And after u have settled well and made it financially, u came back to beg the same girl that left u for another older man to pls marry u Hmmm guys una well done o

For your info number 1: that girl married u only because u have money and living comfortably abroad, which 99.9% of Nigerian ladies wouldn't say no to!
‎
Her true love for u flew away the day she decided to start dating another man while u were away; u weren't supposed to forgive that!

So your marriage started on a very shallow foundation and that will affect your marriage generally no matter how hard u try. Your wife can even cheat on you when she feels lonely or unsure of your total love and care.

Men aren't supposed to marry any lady who sees them as second option. Every guy ought to marry a girl who sees him as her only hero and only option not a fall back.


Guys will keep making this mistake of marrying ladies who see them as an option, and their marriage will keep ending in disaster.

Whoever told u that the first year in marriage comes with fights, misunderstandings, quarrels, etc is telling u lies because not all couple fight in their first 1 - 3 years of marriage and I know I won't whether devil likes it or not! Nigerians need to kill this wrong mentality that first 3 years in marriage is always about fights and misunderstandings because it's wrong! Not all couples fight in their early years in marriage. In fact, y must u guys that claim to love and accept each other's faults fight It's total wrong!

The major mistake people make in marriage is ignoring the negative signs during courtship in the name of lust they call love.

People always see the red signals during dating but always ignore it maybe because their partner looks pretty or handsome physically and they feel they can't get a more handsome or prettier person, so they keep ignoring their partner's faults and end up marrying, and when these faults escalates in marriage, they start to cry fowl as if they didn't see them earlier during courtship.
‎
Your own red signal was the breaking up with u to date another guy and u still came back to her to wife her, who does that Is she mami iwota abi wetin? You try, so endure and enjoy your wife, u got what u wanted bro. 


And your wife spat on your face, for real Hmmn some ladies get mind sha. Happy married life‎

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Bro sir,I don't know if you can get this message but please kindly go and watch Fireproof

You married 2 wife, Fifa console and her, you are giving much attention to the game, women hate that, the game want to be played and she want to be banged but you choose to please the game with your only day off, she even hid the remote near her kitty kat, go and give her banana right now! Make her apologise for her unruly behaviour.
You are both kids!

The day i will spit on my husband, i sincerely would expect divorce soon after.

Spit on your husband? For what reason? That is the height of disrespect and what is marriage without mutual respect?

I noticed OP and his wife are verbally abusive to each other? Im not sure both of you arr ready for marriage sef. Counselling and maybe seperation to think things through might be the solution.