papa007:
Gosh! am I the only one sensing something romantic about the whole scene here? First, your woman demands a router from you and ends up picking the remote, which she hided in her pant. Dude for real, you couldn't decipher she wanted some hot romance in the kitchen. What manner of a man will be so lost in a game that wife whom you LOVE cannot distract you. Perhaps she is not working and all you do after coming back from work is to keep to your poor miserable life. You're selfish and wicked. Infact you are a true definition of a boring and horrible husband who has succeeded in turning the poor lady to a bad wife. Truly bro, you deserve every bad thing she said to you. All she wanted was the man you used to be while in school. But you have gotten so used to her that "a little romance" does not exist anyway near your marriage. Never mind all those saying you should send her back to naija o, if they know where she is they will not waste time to pay for her hands in marriage. In a time like this in this country, all you need is a woman who can help you keep it together. Do you want to get the truth from me? Go and apologize to your woman and crown it all with a round of s*x. May you never knew or remembered that marriage was first meant for companionship, secondly for help mate for each other, and finally for procreation. Why try to spoil the fun. Have a nice EID holidays and remember to enjoy your wife before someone else does it for you. Cheers.

I learned a lot from this post

Please don't send her back.

..as a married woman we cross lines sometimes but it Dosent mean we don't love and respect our men..


Give her the silent treatment when she come begging u sit her down and warn her never to do that again...


Cos it's like spitting on your food and going back to eat it

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.


nah....am so fed up!!!!

I will like to start by praising your maturity in handling the issue well at the boiling point. What she did is very is very condemnable and uncalled for.

But then if the truth must be said I will tell it here . You also need to work on how you relate with your woman . I suspect that woman is tired of the marriage already because you don't seem to create enough time for her hence the reason why she always target the TV , remote control or the console .

You work more than 51 weeks out of 52 weeks in a year , from work straight to your FIFA game and you expect her to be happy and sane ?

Your wife is not happy in the relationship because you are not giving her enough attention especially in a foreign land far away from her friends and family. And next time your wife is angry or in beast mode, don't try taunt or make her angry the more .

You should've answered her immediately that you forgot your router instead of keeping quiet ,
You shouldn't have tried to forcefully retrieve the remote control or the console from her prison yard when you can actually do that by being a bit more mature . Just a little play . some touchings here and there would have done the magic here.


And please don't send her back to Nigeria unless you are not interested in her again. sending her will back to Nigeria will create further gaps between you guys and she may even end up finding solace in the arms of another man.

Try to settle with your wife . give her very stern warning never to try such despicable act with you again, you guys should communicate more and more and be open minded with each other .


May God give both of you more wisdom , patience, knowledge and understanding to make your marriage work. Amin.

PaulkillermanAg:
for your own good ,I'm advicing u as a brother.... This is the advice I'll give to anybody dear to my heart.

LEAVE THAT GIRL,..

contrary to the misconceived believe, marriage is not a Do or Die venture... If its not working its not working, both parties deserve to be happy... Let both of u go your separate ways and find the happiness elsewhere....

Stay blessed bro, u a good guy, u deserve better...

bad advice

sllay:


Your ánal orifice should be impaled with a red hot, rusted boiling ring for suggesting he should physically assault a woman who didn't harm him physically , worse still his wife.

He either spits back in her face (which is childish) or spends time away from her to clear his head, take stock of the happenings in their relationship, wait if she'll show remorse (this is almost certain) then extract a promise that she'd never go on the offensive against him physically or verbally and they'd always discuss with/talk to each other to resolve their differences.

Once you slap her once, you'd slap her again and before you know it you're a wife-beater.

I do not get people like this who said you should not physically assault a woman that has assaulted you. What the Bleep was she thinking.

Yes, the woman has assaulted the man, emotionally, verbally and physically by spitting on him.

We must understand this, and the ladies should learn a thing or two from the genetic make up of a guy and a lady.

Men defense mechanism is his strength and hence react by physical means, they are encoded this way. Gentleman or monster, he results to physical means to resolve his grouse , frustration or threat.

The woman's weapon is her mouth- The terrible, horrible and damaging words she spew per minute. That is why women talk more than guys. This gentlemen is her weapon and her defense mechanism.
What she lacks in strength is made up for in talking.

So in this case and almost in every other case of this nature, women make use of all her strength to the fullest and the men are to compete with her in her area of strength, Talking!!!!?

Even in talking, you are term a "woman wrapper; as guys are not to talk".

Brother for a piece of advice from me.
The woman is wrong in so many ways.

If you love her that much, call her and in no uncertain terms tell her she has to manage her anger or both of you are done.

And when next she cross the line by assaulting you by words or physically, both of you are done as the alternative would mean you resulting to physical means.

Send her home as you planned, as it is a marker and a strength that you will not tolerate her assault.

And if she result to self help as in the previous time to looking for old love, you will know she is irredeemable.

Its a lovers quarrel or misunderstanding please forgive her and keep loving her,don't send her back to nigeria or else u will never know peace,she is d love of your life! Worse things may occur in d future so bear this small one n please next time leave whatever u are doing and accompany her shopping,was d shopping not for both of u for sallah celbration? Pls be more Romantic and your wife will mellow! Force does not work in Love matters please.

chris81964:

You ignored the message she was sending. Obviously you are not giving her the attention she deserves. Does she have friends? Does she have an outlet? You work, you come home watch TV or play games. When do you make time to talk to her or show her affection.
She hid the remote in her undies. You went in there and all you took was the remote. I am sure she was in the mood and you had ignored all the cues you had been sent.
Take your wife out on a date bring her home and make love to her

Yep sweet love, repeatedly!

If that doesn't work in the mid to long term then the relationship has perhaps run its course and so you will have to be strong and emotionally detach yourself from her..When you have done that you can then get rid, sending her back to Sambisa or Darfur or any other tourist hot spot lol

Sorry man, I feel for you, you'll feel better as the days go by.

NB: on a lighter note, this your spit spit wife relate to El hadji diouf?

NobleG1:
I blame both of you for this mess.

Please OP listen to the post I quoted. All those other previous posts on this forum with hundreds of likes suggesting you end the marriage,send her back and all that are emotionally charged and so not best solution!
First,have you checked? may be she is with your baby (as in pregnant). That's one heck of a condition that makes women weird.
Besides,a woman that loves you will seek your attention more than your money. She wanted your attention (shopping) but didn't get it (you had good reason but wasn't lovingly conveyed to her), hence her resorting to 'display of attitude'.
Again,your ignoring her and preferring your game would trigger more consequences (put yourself in her shoes,if you were so ignored would you take it lightly...?). You just have to recognize that communication is key in every relationship. She went far with words,you later joined too..(That's unfortunate,but misunderstanding/hot argument does happen in marriages). When you sit to talk,you will both appologize and resolve never to let things degenerate to that level.
So much to advise but time and space won't let us..
Just try resolve things amicably, you both,openly identify and discuss hurtful things that shouldn't be repeated and stick to it,that way your marriage will grow,marriage is all about getting better with time..none is perfect right from the start,there must be adjustments.
Lest I forget,I commend you for not battering her,if you could do that,the rest is easy.
Wish you best!

crownedrookie:
PLEASE EVERYONE, THE FIXED MATCHES GUY IS A SCAM. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONTACT HIM. HR COPIED THAT PICTURE FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE

my brother is like you've being into this betting game for long..pls do you mind carrying me along with your games?am a jjc in it.awaiting your response sir,God bless in advance

thekingisback:
A slap or two is definitely the solution. If you're not willing to do that, then I'll suggest you give her the silent treatment.

you're a good man...

God knows I can't predict what would happen after that spit.


that is definitely the lowest of lows. how she could resort to fighting this dirty beats me. especially for someone who professes to love you.


I've never been spat on my entire life. it would take divine intervention for me not to kill her that night.


As for me the marriage is over.


OP just better watch your back.... that lady can snuff the life out of you without any qualms.

nameerfhtennek:

The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases.

I don't know why this sounds familiar to me.

Anyway, I'd just wanna say that there's no need sending her to Nigeria unless of course you've decided to divorce her.

She's trying to pass a subtle message across which you haven't gotten yet I think.

Since you didn't mention any child or children in your write up I'm assuming she's yet to conceive. Have you thought that maybe she thinks that you spend way too much time time with your PlayStation than you do with her?

No matter how bad a situation, I think you can still sit her down and talk this whole thing out.

Sending her back to Nigeria will only compound your problems for your marriage.

In fact I'm willing to bet that if you send her back, you can kiss your marriage goodbye.

So when the two of you have cooled off, sit her down and talk about it. You're lucky she's there with you and you don't have to do that over whatsapp from different countries. At least this way you can look into each others eyes and learn the truth.

Wish your marriage well.

vecman22:


my brother is like you've being into this betting game for long..pls do you mind carrying me along with your games?am a jjc in it.awaiting your response sir,God bless in advance

Sorry my man. I don't carry people along in betting because i feel extremely bad if I make a bad call. If it was investment I'd gladly put you through

Brov
Lemme let you in on a fact known to most married couple who has been married for years.
What you guys are going through is a phase. Yes! All the yelling, fighting, quarrels,its a phase.The first 1 to 3 years of most marraiges are like that.
You guys love each other thats why you fight.You are bringing out the worst in each other becuase the romantic stage has passed so you see the flaws clearly and both of you subconsciously blame each other for bringing out those flaws and you guys want to force the other one to see that tye have these flaws and to change it.Both of you are focusing on the flaws of each other right now. You are sensitive to your diferences.
Thats why you can say she was never like that.She also would be thinking that you were never like that.
For example...would you have usually forgoten something so important to her comfort(the Router)when you guys were dating?If you had would you have responded to her question with silence when you were dating? I guess not.Seeing her would have been uppermost in your heart and with the love pulsing through your heart you would have done anything to make her happy.

This trend would continue until YOU,the man does something about it.(Your wife is obviously still young and inexperienced about marraige).You must change the flow unless you guys would break up.

Unfortunately you will go through this same phase with another woman.All relationship have their issues.It takes two mature adults to make a determination to work through their issues and make their home a refuge.

I am talking from 5 years experience of marriage here.My wife and I went through these phase.I am not proud of some of the things I did then.

Lemme tell you something...A woman responds to love and affection.When she feels cared for, valued and understood,she responds with respect and diference to the man.
When she feels she is not loved or cared for she immediately begins to resent and disrespect her man.

A man on the other hand thrives on respect. When he is held in high esteem and respected by a woman,he responds with love towards that woman and shows care for her.When he senses in attitude ,words or action that he is being disrespected or not being respected enough he would usually respond with withdrawal of affection and his expressions of love will dwindle.
That my brother is the secret of marriage. It is a cycle.

Enough of the talk.(I am sure i have bored you)
What's the solution.
Swallow your anger and pride.Take responsibility for your marriage. Tell your self that your marriage will work if its the last thing you do.
Now take some hours to pray and lift up your marriage to God.Tell him to send the Holy spirit to work on both your heart and the heart of your wife.Let the Holy spirit soften your hearts and bring the peace of God to each heart.Rebuke the spirit of discord and marital strife
For indeed there are demonic forces at work in your home whose mission it is to scatter your marriage and destroy the Divine purpose and destiny of God for your marriage.

You will notice that you will have unusual calmness and patience.You will need it and unselfish love would flood your heart towards your wife.

Then go to her and apologise for everything that has gone wrong in the marriage.Admit your faults to her...You have been impatient,insensitive etc to her and her emotional needs etc
Hold her,look into her eyes and tell her that you are sorry.Let her know that you love her.
Prepare for resistance. If she doesnt melt right away.Its ok.Keep on praying for her and continue to show her affection.Say Im sorry baby until she gets it.
Trust me after a while you will get through to her and her heart will melt.

After then sit her down and you guys work out how you can communicate your needs and issues without resorting to anger or silence.Work on the friendship.Always pray in the morning for your relationship and marriage. Pray for your hearts too.
Most importantly buy and read and give her to read too relationship books and spiritual book.

You guys should work on bonding with each other and trust me your marriage will become sweet and though there will be issues once in a while you guys would have had the experience to deal with them without them consuming you and you would have perfected a mutually beneficial way of resolving your issues.
I pray God comes through for you.Sending her away is not the solution.
Cheers.My name is Uzoma Agbanyim.

Avoidance worsen the outcome in such situations. I advise you call her stand face to face and warn her that if she ever insults your parents or spits on you, she's going home. And if it happens again, send her home immediately while you plan for divorce or not, depending on what follows.

But do you have any kid with her? It's usually a confounder.

sllay:


Poo-faced tramp! Haven't you been fùcked countless times over a plate of noodles, a bottle of sprite and free recharge cards? Heck! The very phone you're typing from was purchased from money you didn't earn. You live to beg and never work.

Half of Romance Section boys have your contact 'cause you're cheaper than a used styrofoam cup.

You should be ashamed you sell your body for cheap favours.

Since you support those who support violence against women, may you be turned to a punching bag by every man you meet. May you never be respected until you confess openly and campaign against female brutality.

Trampy scarecrow!

Eeeeewwooo
But y r u so mad at her? Beginning to look like she rejected you. There will always be tramps. Live and let live

tivta:
Another reason why most men fear marriage...

yes oo
Marriage is for extreme patient men and the funniest aspect of it all Is that " ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME ",when you think ur own wife is bad and you hear about another man's wife attitude you will gently pat your own wife on the back and tell her to continue . Before reading this story I always thought my wife was out of the way or rude but reading the op story I am now even thanking God for my own ,likewise I know if the op listens to other married men stories about their wives he will see that his wife is a complete angle. All women are the same ,they all have some degree of craziness and madness,no wonder African elderly ppl used to say ladies are like deranged patients,their healing is completed in their husband's house. The woman hasn't even poured pepper or disgraced the op in public!!! She loves the guy. Despite all their madness ,it doesn't mean they dont luv their men,I think the more a woman loves you the crazier she is bound to react to you.

pls men don't be selfish for her to seize the remote and game console that shows after work you don't have her time again you always concentrate on your games it can't work that way she needs your time I've been having issues with this sometimes when ever am back home I'll grab my smart phone and start surfing the internet till around 2am naija time until later I realised that is the cause of making my woman angry when ever am home so I've to stop that immediately and now I don't experience such thing again, so pls just give it a trial when ever you're back from work don't play any game if she's in the kitchen be around and keep her company try to give her your time am sure things will change.

VolTOxic:
Most men would have given her a beating, but you kept your cool. For that I respect and admire you. Now to the point, Yes. Please send her away. That woman hates you!

How can your own wife say that horrible thing and spat to you face?! She hates you. She have crossed the line.
You said your marriage is a curse. You are not happy at all. Neither is she. You are not making a mistake. Do it.

You are a true gentleman. You deserve better. You'll find someone to heal your wounds. Don't even waste your time for any shìt counselling. She is not the woman you fell for. That woman is gone the moment she spat. Forever.

.
That's all.

No advice from me, m not married.

But dont lay a finger on her if you know whats good for you.

Op, in as much as I don't support her reaction towards you, I still think your wife would rather want you come home and f**k her brain out than you sticking your ass in that sofa playing some videogames like a kid. Videogames destroy marriage when there's an addiction and I could tell that there is in your own case.

Give you wife more attention bro.

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

#Dude ..I don't think you should send her back to Nigeria..Marriage is never all smooth..it has a lot of trials and tribulations. Marriage is like a pot,if its broken its not thrown away,it is mended..You said you love her so much..you could do virtually anything for her..from ur story..Guy u love her so much..u love her to the moons..She really bleeped up..I think you both need to go see a shrink..U gotta save your marriage bro..she needs to start respecting you as the husband and man of the house and in her life..I must give credit to you for being so tolerant and cool headed..not raising your hand on her.."Self control is the hallmark of a man"-(odogwu)Danny Brasco

bonjovi12:
Brov
Lemme let you in on a fact known to most married couple who has been married for years.
What you guys are going through is a phase. Yes! All the yelling, fighting, quarrels,its a phase.The first 1 to 3 years of most marraiges are like that.
You guys love each other thats why you fight.You are bringing out the worst in each other becuase the romantic stage has passed so you see the flaws clearly and both of you subconsciously blame each other for bringing out those flaws and you guys want to force the other one to see that tye have these flaws and to change it.Both of you are focusing on the flaws of each other right now. You are sensitive to your diferences.
Thats why you can say she was never like that.She also would be thinking that you were never like that.
For example...would you have usually forgoten something so important to her comfort(the Router)when you guys were dating?If you had would you have responded to her question with silence when you were dating? I guess not.Seeing her would have been uppermost in your heart and with the love pulsing through your heart you would have done anything to make her happy.

This trend would continue until YOU,the man does something about it.(Your wife is obviously still young and inexperienced about marraige).You must change the flow unless you guys would break up.

Unfortunately you will go through this same phase with another woman.All relationship have their issues.It takes two mature adults to make a determination to work through their issues and make their home a refuge.

I am talking from 5 years experience of marriage here.My wife and I went through these phase.I am not proud of some of the things I did then.

Lemme tell you something...A woman responds to love and affection.When she feels cared for, valued and understood,she responds with respect and diference to the man.
When she feels she is not loved or cared for she immediately begins to resent and disrespect her man.

A man on the other hand thrives on respect. When he is held in high esteem and respected by a woman,he responds with love towards that woman and shows care for her.When he senses in attitude ,words or action that he is being disrespected or not being respected enough he would usually respond with withdrawal of affection and his expressions of love will dwindle.
That my brother is the secret of marriage. It is a cycle.

Enough of the talk.(I am sure i have bored you)
What's the solution.
Swallow your anger and pride.Take responsibility for your marriage. Tell your self that your marriage will work if its the last thing you do.
Now take some hours to pray and lift up your marriage to God.Tell him to send the Holy spirit to work on both your heart and the heart of your wife.Let the Holy spirit soften your hearts and bring the peace of God to each heart.Rebuke the spirit of discord and marital strife
For indeed there are demonic forces at work in your home whose mission it is to scatter your marriage and destroy the Divine purpose and destiny of God for your marriage.

You will notice that you will have unusual calmness and patience.You will need it and unselfish love would flood your heart towards your wife.

Then go to her and apologise for everything that has gone wrong in the marriage.Admit your faults to her...You have been impatient,insensitive etc to her and her emotional needs etc
Hold her,look into her eyes and tell her that you are sorry.Let her know that you love her.
Prepare for resistance. If she doesnt melt right away.Its ok.Keep on praying for her and continue to show her affection.Say Im sorry baby until she gets it.
Trust me after a while you will get through to her and her heart will melt.

After then sit her down and you guys work out how you can communicate your needs and issues without resorting to anger or silence.Work on the friendship.Always pray in the morning for your relationship and marriage. Pray for your hearts too.
Most importantly buy and read and give her to read too relationship books and spiritual book.

You guys should work on bonding with each other and trust me your marriage will become sweet and though there will be issues once in a while you guys would have had the experience to deal with them without them consuming you and you would have perfected a mutually beneficial way of resolving your issues.
I pray God comes through for you.Sending her away is not the solution.
Cheers.My name is Uzoma Agbanyim.

another sound advice

It is possible that your wife is undergoing psychological challenges. A place like Saudi Arabia can make a woman lonely. When a woman feels lonely she becomes bitchy. You can look for games both of you can play together. Look for spots were she can find responsible female company. Above all be her prime companion try this and see if she is still bitchy.

Mzgracie:
@ nameerfhtennek.

So sorry about what happened.. you are a gentleman and thanks for doing things you might end up regretting..

I ll like to ask u these questions

Do you spend most of ur free period playing games?
Do you give her attention at all?
How's your sexual life?

For a lady to react like this, I believe she has been through some moments of rejection.. I'm not saying spitting on ur face is right oooo..
She even hid the remote in her panties, aawwww, probably she needed some sweet loving...

Modified: if u know u r really addicted to ur games, teach her how to play.. that way, things get really interesting... you spend plenty time togeda etc

Exactly . There was a time I used to play ps3 a lot and my lady always complain but I later trained her how to play the game and we always play together . It even reach a point I got busy and she will be the one dragging me to come and play PS .


The main problem in the op's marriage is his wife is not getting enough attention from him . he work 51weeks out of 52 in a year , when he's home he turn to his main wife ( TV and games) neglecting the poor woman . I can't imagine my own woman keeping a TV control or console inside her pant ( of all place in the house ) and not get the message . maybe because I am naturally the troublesome and disturbing type and I hate boring relationship .

Sorry my view might be different from others. I realise that men that are too much in love with their Phones and Play stations are bound to have this kind of issues. In your story,you didn't tell us when you have time to play with your wife,all you do most time is to embrace your game console, this neccessiated her hiding the remote under her pants (that was a message bro). I used to have that problems with my phone,my wife was always bold enough to joke with me that honeeeeeey press me not the phone every time. This has really helped me to give less attention to my phone and more to my family. It is good you love your wife,but love needs fertilizers that keep it growing most especially when you are married. You must have been married for few years,you didn't talk about any kid between you guys, may be you have not really have enough time with and for your wife. Learn to give her enough time while you are at home,teach her how to play the FIFA with you and make sure you have good husband and wife sessions together. Thanks,God will keep your marriage.....

chuksbogus2001:
I don't know how Saudi deals men beating women .let me tell u when we were small my mum used to be very arrogant and rude to my dad cos he is a quiet man not until my mums mother I mean her own mum told my dad to beat her .After my dad gave her a better beating peace ,love respect came to our house since 1984 till now my mum has never raise her voice against my dad. Am not advocating women battery but a times small spanking does the magic

Haba. See what faulty foundation can cause! I pity the wife you will marry o. There are better ways to make a woman very loyal to you. All woman want a real man and not a boy man. From the story of this young man it seems to me that he is still a boy-man that is why the woman is acting that way.

A real man automatically influence everything around him and his life is an authority.

Dear Brother.
I really pity you for what you are passing through. May God guide you to taking the best decision for you in both worlds.
I have so many advises and inquiries to make regarding your marriage but this medium might not be the best mode to do it. If you don't mind you may offer me your email address and i will contact you privately and i am even ready to call you and talk on phone if you provide your contact number.

Meanwhile, summarily i say the following:
1. patience is never too much, and i thank God that He granted you patience during the episode you described.
2. . It is always good for someone to have the narration from the other side before a balanced judgment could be made, but there are few things from your narrations that point to the fact that your marriage was not properly conducted in Godly manner and you most likely married the wrong person. Few of such inductions are as follows:
a. Having premarital relationship is Un-Godly and the often stated reason that it allows both spouses to know themselves better and prevent marital problems does not hold water. This you can see in your case now. Despite the long courtship (since University days) you still ended up with this troubled marriage. But it is not too late. There is still room to repent to God and He is forgiving and merciful to anyone that sincerely repent and amend his or her ways.
b. Another thing is that there should be something you seriously seek after in a girl that made you went back to her after she has tasted another man (in a wrong manner). This is by far the greatest mistake! This is one of the wisdom of the Almighty God in prohibiting premarital sex. Once a woman has tasted the goods in another man she will constantly compare you with such person (psychologically or otherwise). So the question is what exactly made you so desperate to return to her after she has started with another man? Now for the past one year you said the marriage has not been peaceful!
c. Are you both practicing the same profession in Saudi Arabia? Both of you working? What amount of time did you give to her? Knowing that ladies like their man to give them time to chart and relax together. It is also her right that you must provide to her.
d. Coming from job and heading straight to watching TV while your wife is at home is at home is not correct. Why? were you fighting before?
e. Note that marriage should bring piece rather than evil. You need to work out a lasting solution to your marriage as soon as possible. (I am ready to offer advises if you allow on personal level through phone on this). Marriage troubles that are not resolved early do lead to bad consequences like spouses murdering the partner and all sort of other vices (May you never experience such evil). So act fast. Since you have married her you need to make the marriage work. If you are not ready to make it work then better the two of you do the needful separation to avoid greater evils. I know many Christians do frown at separation (divorce) but unfortunately it could be the only solution in some cases that will ensure both parties lives happily after the separation and they could both get married to partner that will be compatible and things will work out. But please note that separation is the last option after all efforts to reconcile and make the marriage works failed (You don't jump out of marriage because you have a problem in your marriage, otherwise you ended up beeing a serial and continuous divorcee (or divorcer-lol) because there are always issues with marriages but they get resolvable). But as a fact, a divorce is far better than a forced marriage where the two parties consistently live as enemy and with resultant consequent of murder or suicide in some cases.
f. If you stay in Saudi Arabia and your marriage is this chaotic then i imagine what you will be facing if you are both in Canada or USA. Perhaps she could have thrown you out of the house through divorce (you know ladies over there have this advantages). Why i say this is that there have been cases of women for example who were very humble and respective to their husband while staying in Saudi Arabia but quick to kick the husband out of the house once opportune to relocate to the West.

Finally, work on your marriage and make it work and if all efforts fails then do the needful.

To the yet to marry, please say "no" to premarital sex or courtship because it is sinful and against God's plan for us to live a happy and happy married life.

I wish you all the best.

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

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My advise is you forgive her and talk to her. Sending her to Nigeria won't solve your problem cos it may be you who actually is the problem and not her. Talk to her and tell her what you don't like and what you like about the union and events so far. Learn to sacrifice for your wife even when it's very inconveniencing and when you may not be able to accompany her to a thing, endeavour to convince her thoroughly on why you cannot follow her and see to it that she understands with you and don't just assume she does. Women are not wired as men are so there is need to always understand them. You need to be a man and control your home

crownedrookie:

Sorry my man. I don't carry people along in betting because i feel extremely bad if I make a bad call. If it was investment I'd gladly put you through

making investment how? pls explain to me more on dat..making a bad call in betting is something we all are use to na is just dat mine is legendary.. for years hv being playing dis I have nothing to show for it after all hv spend on it...

Bross,I understand u love her soomuch, but from all what u av said I see she has a very bad character,the worst thing a man can do to himself is to marry a woman with bad character,she will make life hell for that Man.u hav done well by not laying a finger on her,pls send her back b4 its too late,forget counceling,this kind of woman can stab u in ur sleep.