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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh (766 Views)
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How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by raphieMontella: 9:49pm On Sep 13, 2016 |
The bible is considered by christians to be the best guide for one's life,,,so here's How to get a wife according to the bible: 1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13). . 2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3). . 3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. - Moses (Ex 2:16-21). . 4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10). . 5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25). . 6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. - Adam (Gen 2:19-24). . 7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30). . 8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27). . 9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) -Cain (Genesis 4:16-17). . 10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4). . 11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say,"Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3). . 12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). -David (2 Samuel 11). . 13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth). . 14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3). . 15.R.ape a virgin and then pay her father 50 shekels-Deutronomy 22:28-29 Well,,Modern day humans do strictly abide by this book.. This shows that for one to be a christian,one has to willfully and hypocritically selective in what one reads from the bible. |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by herzern(m): 9:50pm On Sep 13, 2016 |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by ColdHardTruth: 10:20am On Sep 17, 2016 |
lol! |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by otem4eartum: 11:10am On Sep 17, 2016 |
Jacksonville, Pls make your choice |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by Aaronsrod: 11:37am On Sep 17, 2016 |
raphieMontella: You are taking this text out of context. You cannot comprehend them with a canal mind. |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by ifenes(m): 11:41am On Sep 17, 2016 |
Damn!!!! 3 Likes |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by ifenes(m): 11:43am On Sep 17, 2016 |
Aaronsrod: You mean only a carnal mind can see the truth then. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by JSoE(f): 11:46am On Sep 17, 2016 |
Lwkm.
Way to go. |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by mustymatic(m): 12:20pm On Sep 17, 2016 |
Shett! |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by raphieMontella: 12:45pm On Sep 17, 2016 |
Aaronsrod:mr comprehension! |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by raphieMontella: 12:47pm On Sep 17, 2016 |
ifenes:lol..pick your choice! |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by raphieMontella: 12:48pm On Sep 17, 2016 |
ColdHardTruth:should i choose for you? |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by ifenes(m): 12:55pm On Sep 17, 2016 |
The bible is so anti-women 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A Wife..according To The Bible And Yahweh by CAPSLOCKED: 9:15am On Sep 25, 2016 |
raphieMontella: GO TO A PARTY.... AND HIDE? WHAT SORT OF KIDNAPPING IS THIS? |
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