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How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up - Family (2) - Nairaland

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She Said She Was Raped, But See Why I Didn't Feel For Her / How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up / How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 11:39am On Sep 15, 2016
JoyChinwe22:
You think you are so knowledgeable. I weep in English. I won't banter words with you, but I just hope, for the sake of our daughters, that other African men stop reasoning like you. No man should force himself on his wife. It is a crime. You may have paid her bride price but you did not buy her. When she says 'no', find out why and deal with it like a loving husband should; don't exhibit your animalistic tendencies by forcing that 'thing' inside her. Remember, you will have daughters too.

I wish I can give you a thunderous slap from here with this rubbish that you just spewed. What is wrong with you? Do you have problems comprehending? Seriously you are a really annoying person.

How many times will I make my Stand known on the issue? I have said it that I'm against forcing and I can't do it. yet you keep laying emphasis on it what is wrong with you?
I posted it here and on the second thread you created and you still don't get it.

Please stop quoting me.,

3 Likes

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 12:30pm On Sep 15, 2016
JoyChinwe22:



*modified*
Why are you so pained? Because it's evident in your Last post. I can sense you are also a victim of female genital mutilation. and since you can NOT enjoy sex or have any urge for it, you always deny your husband so anytime he demands for it, it seems like he is forcing you.

That is your own problem, and that of your husband. I only feel for him. But he doesn't have a choice other than to live with it. Because it's for better for worse.

I strongly feel that you are a victim, that is why you are advocating on behalf of other women who probably are not even feeling the same way as you are feeling because they are not circumcised. Luckily we still have 30% of uncircumcised women in Nigeria and there are lucky men who get married to them.

You can't find such women creating this type of topic or complaining that their husband is raping them.

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Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Acidosis(m): 12:44pm On Sep 15, 2016
dasparrow:


Alright. And whose fault is it that black Africans - Nigerians included - have such barbaric archaic traditional customs that mess up females' private parts and leave them sexually incapacitated for life? Who came up with the idea to cut off a girl's clitoriz so that she would not be promiscuous? was it not African men? Do you see Caucasian men inflict such harmful nonsense on their females? No they don't. It is only the backward African-bred male who sits there and comes up with ways to cause bodily harm on the females of his society. And then tomorrow, you people want to complain about your females being frigid in bed. Why won't they be frigid after you people have completely messed up their God-given varginas?

Secondly, let's not even get started on the topic of pedophilia and how raping innocent little girls have also left them traumatized for life thereby causing them to hate sex as adults. Anyways, until you people change your barbaric and satanic ways all in the name of culture and tradition, expect more of these problems to arise.


The husband should not be forced to bare the consequence of child rap.e.


Women should deal with their emotional garbages before dealing with innocent men. If you don't enjoy s.ex, abstain from marriage.


The same ed!ot who supported and used razor on her daughter's private is the same person who sit back in the village asking for N1million bride price. So why should an innocent man pay up, and still bare the consequence?

If you don't enjoy sex for this reason, just sit back in your papa house.

1 Like

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by sisisioge: 12:51pm On Sep 15, 2016
Hmmm, how will a wife explain that what transpired was rape? How will she explain it to her people and his? You mentioned human rights activists... How nau? They are married o.

Reverting to the bible, its says their bodies now belong to each other and on no account must either deny the other of sexxx unless they both agreed to fast for a certain period of time.

How will she claim rape? It is well.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Nobody: 1:00pm On Sep 15, 2016
Drdreyy:


The part i canceled is not correct. You talk/reason as if you don't live in this present time or you don't read/listen to the news. Women (especially the ladies) of nowadays are not the ones we use to know in the 70s/before the 70s or early 80s. That was
when women were still women., and very much feminine. Not the ones with masculine tendencies/xtics that we have today.

Today we have a lot of dare-devil women that do things men are even afraid of doing and other unimaginable things.

There are a lot of female robbers now that kill and Carry AK47 riffles, some are even gang leaders.
Alot of women murder their husbands gruesomely nowadays, some even chop off their husband's manhood., how much more a total stranger. And so many other disheartening and sickening practices.

We read this news virtually every day here on Nairaland, and other platforms and you can't deny it.

am sure even you realised the absurdity of that statement you wrote while you were typing it.

Check news well biko, 99.9 percent of people committng those vile animalistic beastly crimes are men. You had no problem generalizing all women as dumb because you met few dumb ones so me sef I will generalize all men as criminals because majority of criminals are men.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 1:06pm On Sep 15, 2016
sisisioge:
Hmmm, how will a wife explain that what transpired was rape? How will she explain it to her people and his? You mentioned human rights activists... How nau? They are married o.

Reverting to the bible, its says their bodies now belong to each other and on no account must either deny the other of sexxx unless they both agreed to fast for a certain period of time.

How will she claim rape? It is well.

Don't mind all these genitally mutilated/destroyed women that are complaining.

Anyway such claims won't even be taken seriously here in Nigeria/Africa. But in advance countries like USA. they take it seriously and can charge the husband.

But such case is rarely reported there because their women are not circumcised and they have normal libido, some can even match that of men.
So I don't see any reason why their husband will force them when he is satisfied.

1 Like

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 1:15pm On Sep 15, 2016
[s]
fellis:


am sure even you realised the absurdity of that statement you wrote while you were typing it.

Check news well biko, 99.9 percent of people committng those vile animalistic beastly crimes are men. You had no problem generalizing all women as dumb because you met few dumb ones so me sef I will generalize all men as criminals because majority of criminals are men[/s]

3 Likes

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by sisisioge: 1:15pm On Sep 15, 2016
Drdreyy:


Don't mind all these genitally mutilated/destroyed women that are complaining.

Anyway such claims won't even be taken seriously here in Nigeria/Africa. But in advance countries like USA. they take it seriously and can charge the husband.

But such case is rarely reported there because their women are not circumcised and they have normal libido, some can even match that of men.
So I don't see any reason why their husband will force them when he is satisfied.

Oga, my post is written with expectation that all things are equal...husband and wife being considerate.

By the way, genital mutilation does not entirely erode the pleasure areas in a woman's Virgo. This is not to say the exercise is barbaric. Stop attacking. Cheers.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 1:19pm On Sep 15, 2016
sisisioge:


Oga, my post is written with expectation that all things are equal...husband and wife being considerate.

By the way, genital mutilation does not entirely erode the pleasure areas in a woman's Virgo. This is not to say the exercise is barbaric. Stop attacking. Cheers.

Oops, sorry i quoted the wrong person. I wanted to quote the guy above you.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 1:21pm On Sep 15, 2016
Acidosis:



The husband should not be forced to bare the consequence of child rap.e.


Women should deal with their emotional garbages before dealing with innocent men. If you don't enjoy s.ex, abstain from marriage.


The same ed!ot who supported and used razor on her daughter's private is the same person who sit back in the village asking for N1million bride price. So why should an innocent man pay up, and still bare the consequence?

If you don't enjoy sex for this reason, just sit back in your papa house.

Drdreyy:


Don't mind all these genitally mutilated/destroyed women that are complaining.

Anyway such claims won't even be taken seriously here in Nigeria/Africa. But in advance countries like USA. they take it seriously and can charge the husband.

But such case is rarely reported there because their women are not circumcised and they have normal libido, some can even match that of men.
So I don't see any reason why their husband will force them when he is satisfied.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Nobody: 1:27pm On Sep 15, 2016
Drdreyy:
[s]

when you have no meaningful argument you resort to insults. Typical man behaviour

***rolls eyes***
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by JoyChinwe22(f): 1:29pm On Sep 15, 2016
Drdreyy:


*modified*
Why are you so pained? Because it's evident in your Last post. I can sense you are also a victim of female genital mutilation. and since you can NOT enjoy sex or have any urge for it, you always deny your husband so anytime he demands for it, it seems like he is forcing you.

That is your own problem, and that of your husband. I only feel for him. But he doesn't have a choice other than to live with it. Because it's for better for worse.

I strongly feel that you are a victim, that is why you are advocating on behalf of other women who probably are not even feeling the same way as you are feeling because they are not circumcised. Luckily we still have 30% of uncircumcised women in Nigeria and there are lucky men who get married to them.

You can't find such women creating this type of topic or complaining that their husband is raping them.
Sorry if you feel insulted. This issue is quite sensitive and it gets to me, a lot.. I'm not married yet, I'm not a victim of circumcision, neither am I a rape victim of any sort. I get ur point. But I don't understand why u think that people who mostly complain are circumcised women. I have spent barely 2 decades on earth and for the greater part of those years, I have been opportuned to witness first hand what most married women go through; and how they keep it under wraps just to save face. Some even die untimely and leave their children un catered for.. So if u think this is me being pained, then i don't mind. You should try to open your mind a little. And Yea, I won't quote u again.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by JoyChinwe22(f): 1:33pm On Sep 15, 2016
sisisioge:
Hmmm, how will a wife explain that what transpired was rape? How will she explain it to her people and his? You mentioned human rights activists... How nau? They are married o.

Reverting to the bible, its says their bodies now belong to each other and on no account must either deny the other of sexxx unless they both agreed to fast for a certain period of time.

How will she claim rape? It is well.
I can't believe you are a woman.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by sisisioge: 1:38pm On Sep 15, 2016
JoyChinwe22:
I can't believe you are a woman.

I am sweetie.

1 Like

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by JoyChinwe22(f): 1:38pm On Sep 15, 2016
sisisioge:
Hmmm, how will a wife explain that what transpired was rape? How will she explain it to her people and his? You mentioned human rights activists... How nau? They are married o.

Reverting to the bible, its says their bodies now belong to each other and on no account must either deny the other of sexxx unless they both agreed to fast for a certain period of time.

How will she claim rape? It is well.
I can't believe you are a woman. Please we should learn how to be our sister's keeper. A man can rape his wife and that is a fact. That your bodies belong to each other is a privilege that should not be abused. Saying no to sex at any point does not always mean u are denying your husband sex. You may be emotionally disturbed, or physically down; some men do not care. They must get it when they want it, because according to women like u, 'our bodies belong to each other'. Their are equally frustrated men out there who turn to alcohol and take their anger out on their wives. They forcefully have sex with her, using violence and reeking of alcohol. I guess that is okay too. #smh
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by sisisioge: 1:43pm On Sep 15, 2016
JoyChinwe22:
I can't believe you are a woman. Please we should learn how to be our sister's keeper. A man can rape his wife and that is a fact. That your bodies belong to each other is a privilege that should not be abused. Saying no to sex at any point does not always mean u are denying your husband sex. You may be emotionally disturbed, or physically down; some men do not care. They must get it when they want it, because according to women like u, 'our bodies belong to each other'. Their are equally frustrated men out there who turn to alcohol and take their anger out on their wives. They forcefully have sex with her, using violence and reeking of alcohol. I guess that is okay too. #smh

Once again my post was written with the mindfulness that all things being equal...the man and woman are considerate people.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by TV01(m): 1:59pm On Sep 15, 2016
Drdreyy:
I hate chatting or dragging words with women due to their comprehension capacity and data/information interpretation.
Ah! The fatwa wey dem go put for your head eh! shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked. Gird yourself 0, thunder cometh grin!

JoyChinwe22:
A man can rape his wife and that is a fact.
Very few men have the heart or desire to force themselves on women. And I would imagine even fewer who have been properly vetted and found worthy to be husbands. And, we roundly and unreservedly condemn any man, and more so a husband who forces himself on his wife.

However, marriage is at it's heart a conjugal union, and ATBE, a man has every right to enjoy physical intimacy with his wife. While one may "subjectively" consider coerced or forced sex (which cuts both ways by the way, and add manipulative sex often employed by wives) more heinous than women refusing sex, one cannot deny that objectively, the latter happens far more frequently and causes lots of men deep frustration.

Ergo, your OP is lopsided and biased. Any discussion of forced or coerced sex within marriage, must go hand in hand with the equally wrong act of withholding physical intimacy, manipulative sex and a lack of loving effort to ensure husbands are getting sex, by their wives.

I'll be happy to give it attention when there are social media drives, NGO's set-up, human rights activists mobilised and government intervention mandated equally on this deeply painful issue which is blighting the lives of many men undecided.

Thank you for listening - fatwa already in effect to no effect, so don't waste your time cool.

Wey dem?

TV

5 Likes

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 2:13pm On Sep 15, 2016
JoyChinwe22:
Sorry if you feel insulted. This issue is quite sensitive and it gets to me, a lot.. I'm not married yet, I'm not a victim of circumcision, neither am I a rape victim of any sort. I get ur point.

But I don't understand why u think that people who mostly complain are circumcised women. I have spent barely 2 decades on earth and for the greater part of those years,
I have been opportuned to witness first hand what most married women go through;

and how they keep it under wraps just to save face. Some even die untimely and leave their children un catered for.. So if u think this is me being pained, then i don't mind. You should try to open your mind a little. And Yea, I won't quote u again.

Alright, I'm also sorry if you feel insulted. It seems you are a cool-headed and respectful lady. I thought I was chatting with the usually rude, arrogant, disrespectful and spiteful Nigerian lady, and was ready to unleash verbal missiles.

For the part i underlined, it's NOT what I think., its what I know. People are more educated and enlightened these days and from our studies and findings on FGM, we now know it's a major factor on why women deny their husbands.

Although naturally/biologically, women have low androgen secretion, thus low libido and lack of interest in sex when compared with men. It applies to all living female species (all form of living things) it's part of nature's plan to regulate mating and control population. It's usually females that determine whether sex takes place or not.

Look at the animals around you and see how the males Chase the female just to mate and most times they are not successful because the females are never going to agree easily.
it's the same with humans.

But, back to the issue, circumsion further kills this libido, reducing it to almost zero or even zero in some women that were grossly mutilated and makes intercourse a painful experience all together.

So you can see the reason now, i can bet it with you that 98% of those women you claim to have witnessed were circumcised. This is Nigeria and the prevalence rate is very high, about 70%.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by lezznjr: 2:26pm On Sep 15, 2016
dasparrow:


Alright. And whose fault is it that black Africans - Nigerians included - have such barbaric archaic traditional customs that mess up females' private parts and leave them sexually incapacitated for life? Who came up with the idea to cut off a girl's clitoriz so that she would not be promiscuous? was it not African men? Do you see Caucasian men inflict such harmful nonsense on their females? No they don't. It is only the backward African-bred male who sits there and comes up with ways to cause bodily harm on the females of his society. And then tomorrow, you people want to complain about your females being frigid in bed. Why won't they be frigid after you people have completely messed up their God-given varginas?

Secondly, let's not even get started on the topic of pedophilia and how raping innocent little girls have also left them traumatized for life thereby causing them to hate sex as adults. Anyways, until you people change your barbaric and satanic ways all in the name of culture and tradition, expect more of these problems to arise.

cococandy:
It's almost as if all African tradition/culture is based on ideologies that centered around stroking the men's egos and their sexual satisfaction. Nothing else mattered to them I suppose.

you just couldn't wait to slaughter the African male! every race of men has its dark parts.

The UK granted female lawyers liberties to wear trousers to the Queen's Court not so long ago....some couple decades.

Nigeria granted women suffrage before some major Western European countries, e.g Switzerland. We are not so bad in the global comparison index.


we take care of our women's families in the unwritten custom of in-law well-being and requirements.

America still leads the world in rape and violence against women!

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by cococandy(f): 2:31pm On Sep 15, 2016
Mtchew
lezznjr:




you just couldn't wait to slaughter the African male! every race of men has its dark parts.

The UK granted female lawyers liberties to wear trousers to the Queen's Court not so long ago....some couple decades.

Nigeria granted women suffrage before some major Western European countries, e.g Switzerland. We are not so bad in the global comparison index.


we take care of our women's families in the unwritten custom of in-law well-being and requirements.

America still leads the world in rape and violence against women!
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by lezznjr: 2:33pm On Sep 15, 2016
cococandy:
Mtchew
i wasn't expecting a factual debunking grin

6 Likes

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by crackhaus: 2:39pm On Sep 15, 2016
sisisioge:
Hmmm, how will a wife explain that what transpired was rape? How will she explain it to her people and his? You mentioned human rights activists... How nau? They are married o.

Reverting to the bible, its says their bodies now belong to each other and on no account must either deny the other of sexxx unless they both agreed to fast for a certain period of time.

How will she claim rape? It is well.
It will be safe to assume that any woman who continually denies her husband sex IS NOT a Christian, and deserves a place in hell. gringrin

3 Likes

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by crackhaus: 2:45pm On Sep 15, 2016
JoyChinwe22:
I can't believe you are a woman. Please we should learn how to be our sister's keeper. A man can rape his wife and that is a fact. That your bodies belong to each other is a privilege that should not be abused. Saying no to sex at any point does not always mean u are denying your husband sex. You may be emotionally disturbed, or physically down; some men do not care. They must get it when they want it, because according to women like u, 'our bodies belong to each other'. Their are equally frustrated men out there who turn to alcohol and take their anger out on their wives. They forcefully have sex with her, using violence and reeking of alcohol. I guess that is okay too. #smh
All things being equal and barring the violent alcoholic men, Do you honestly feel all those men who force themselves on their wives did so the very first time she refused sex? cheesy
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by crackhaus: 2:55pm On Sep 15, 2016
Drdreyy:


Force a woman to sleep with me? What type of rubbish are you vomiting?
This topic deals with married couples so which woman are you talking about? Or you meant to say "wife"?

I can't force my wife or any other woman for that matter for sex.
And Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's only circumcised women that complain. Read my comment again and pay close attention to the percentage
It seems you and I are at an accord on that statement.
Never have and never will force/coerce/beg a woman for sex, wife or otherwise.

Some women deliberately play that game of not wanting to give in with me, and every darn time they lose because I instantly go to sleep and forget about the sex entirely.

Even if she continues on other days, lord knows I will get it elsewhere if it gets to that point where I can't take it no more—there are always choices.

1 Like

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Anas09: 3:03pm On Sep 15, 2016
Acidosis:



The husband should not be forced to bare the consequence of child rap.e.


Women should deal with their emotional garbages before dealing with innocent men. If you don't enjoy s.ex, abstain from marriage.


The same ed!ot who supported and used razor on her daughter's private is the same person who sit back in the village asking for N1million bride price. So why should an innocent man pay up, and still bare the consequence?

If you don't enjoy sex for this reason, just sit back in your papa house.
Maybe men should find a way of asking if a lady was genitally mutilated before proposing. What do u think?

Something like this...
Guy: In my culture women gets circumcised, what about your culture?

Babe: My culture does too.

Guy: So, are you circumcised?

If babe says yes, guy shd decide.

1 Like

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 3:51pm On Sep 15, 2016
Anas09:

Maybe men should find a way of asking if a lady was genitally mutilated before proposing. What do u think?

Something like this...
Guy: In my culture women gets circumcised, what about your culture?

Babe: My culture does too.

Guy: So, are you circumcised?

If babe says yes, guy shd decide.

Yes, guys should start asking if a lady is circumcised or not before proposing or risk facing a sex starved and frustrating marriage.

We hear a lot of stories everyday on this issue. Some weeks ago the story of a brother was on front page complaining of how his wife always deny him of sex.

There is nothing like finding a way to ask, guys should ask bluntly. Marriage is not a joke, it's once in a lifetime. And once you make a wrong choice, you are doomed for the rest of your life.

Especially for those that are very religious., they can't go out and get it elsewhere, and can't marry another woman thus they will live with sexual frustration for the rest of their life.

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Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by sisisioge: 3:51pm On Sep 15, 2016
crackhaus:

It will be safe to assume that any woman who continually denies her husband sex IS NOT a Christian, and deserves a place in hell. gringrin

May God forgive your cauustic mind. The bible assumes sex will only take place between two married people and the only reason it gave for sex no dey is as stated there. I no too know bible but I hold that one for hand wella!
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by crackhaus: 3:58pm On Sep 15, 2016
sisisioge:


May God forgive your cauustic mind. The bible assumes sex will only take place between two married people and the only reason it gave for sex no dey is as stated there. I no too know bible but I hold that one for hand wella!
Whatchu going on about Willis? grin
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by sisisioge: 4:05pm On Sep 15, 2016
crackhaus:

Whatchu going on about Willis? grin

Oh! You are American shocked
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Drdreyy: 4:11pm On Sep 15, 2016
crackhaus:

It will be safe to assume that any woman who continually denies her husband sex IS NOT a Christian, and deserves a place in hell. gringrin

sisisioge:


May God forgive your cauustic mind. The bible assumes sex will only take place between two married people and the only reason it gave for sex no dey is as stated there. I no too know bible but I hold that one for hand wella!

Don't mind those spirikoko Christian women. Some do it intentionally to punish their husbands since they know he can't get it outside and self gratification is also forbidden.

In Islam, women are not allowed to deny their husbands whenever he needs it, she must submit unless she has a tangible reason for refusing. Such as during her period, fasting or if she is sick.

I listened to an alfa on radio who even said God is not pleased with women that constantly starve their husbands of sex.
Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by Nobody: 4:35pm On Sep 15, 2016
Wives getting raped here and there...
You got married to a woman, you want to kpansh, she says no, you try again, she says no, you wait another week and try again, she says no... grin grin grin
By them, the semen is piled up and threatening to spill from your nostrils, what sort of frustration is this angry angry angry....
This is the same sex you were getting day in day out from different donors without stress when you were still a bachelor, now you are bound by a vow that says you shouldnt get it outside till death do you part, your wife don't wanna give you and you can't get it outside...
Is marriage meant to be that frustrating?
My advice to my brothers, marital rape is gradually becoming a more serious crime than infidelity, so whenever you find yourself in this dilemma, go for option B...
Find one of those hot chicas always giving you the side-eye anytime you out there chilling by the bar and feck her brains out.... Wife gets her peace and you satisfy your urge, case settled.....

1 Like

Re: How Some Wives Are Continually Raped But Can't Speak Up by soonest(f): 4:55pm On Sep 15, 2016
Drdreyy:


I hate chatting or dragging words with women due to their comprehension capacity and data/information interpretation.

See this one. If men talk you sef go talk. Abeg commot for road make I see joor

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