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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How To Take Care Of Your Wife: (5051 Views)
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How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by dayokanu(m): 3:17pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES -- You make the bed (+1) -- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) -- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) -- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) -- In the rain (+ -- But return with Beer (-5) -- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) -- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) -- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) -- You pummel it with iron rod (+10) -- It's her pet (-10) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS -- You stay by her side the entire party (0) -- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2) -- Named Tina (-4) -- Tina is a dancer (-10) HER BIRTHDAY -- You take her out to dinner (0) -- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1) -- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2) -- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3) -- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10) A NIGHT OUT -- You take her to a movie (+2) -- You take her to a movie she likes (+4) -- You take her to a movie you hate (+6) -- You take her to a movie you like (-2) -- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3) -- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15) YOUR PHYSIQUE -- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) -- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) -- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30) -- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000) ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION -- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT] -- You hesitate in responding (-10) -- You reply, "Where?" (-35) -- Any other response (-20) COMMUNICATION -- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0) -- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) -- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) -- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000) |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Emperoh(m): 9:48pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
I have been waiting for +10000 or +20000 Wetin happen nah? And what about cheating on her? WHats the points for that> |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Nobody: 9:52pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
I love this |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by MissyB1(m): 9:59pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Very hilarious . . . .I likey. |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Emperoh(m): 10:04pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Missy B: Ebonyeyes:'Why una no go like am. . . . .no be women empowerment we dey talk of? |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Nobody: 10:06pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Emperoh:After so much oppression by your gender? |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by TOYOSI20(f): 10:09pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
~So subscribing!! But seriously, making a woman happy really makes for a great foundation for any relationship!! dont care if u've been together for thirteen days or thirty years!! |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Emperoh(m): 10:11pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Ebonyeyes: Or when u try to use emotional blackmail to whips into line? Thank God for Polygamy At least i can marry as much as i want!! Est-ce que ca t'interresse? |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by MissyB1(m): 10:20pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Emperoh:Forgive me . . . but like every human, I love to be treated rightly. |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Nobody: 10:27pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Emperoh: Goodluck with that, make sure you stock up on ibuprofen when your house becomes a battlefield |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by TheSeeker(m): 10:29pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Dayo, na you open eye write these things? You get time oooo |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by sweeti14(f): 11:21pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
roflmao i absolutely love dis |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by deji2009(m): 11:22pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
Nice |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Shola2009(m): 11:59pm On Oct 10, 2009 |
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)lol. its supposed to be, You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." =divorce attorney hotline |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by oge4real(f): 12:03am On Oct 11, 2009 |
cool. |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Nobody: 12:55am On Oct 11, 2009 |
Funny. |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Akinagirl(f): 2:30am On Oct 11, 2009 |
Love it. |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by kaypinchi(m): 8:15pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
Nice1. Hilarious. A great way to end the weekend. Got (-18) for my deep noisy laughter sha. |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by posakosa(m): 8:20pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
@OP: Cute and very funny, hahahaha! |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by aomom(m): 8:50pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
cuul but it gonna be diffcult for me cux am alwayz the busy type but one thing u shuld put into consideration is that it may work for some ppl while to some no. human being are different |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by ochukoccna: 9:12pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
wow |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Nobody: 9:18pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
@ Dayo my main man . . . . nice one. . . . . . .funny this is coming from u though. . . . . |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Atreus(f): 9:51pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
I never make the bed. |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Secretz(f): 10:11pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
LOL |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by mamagee6(f): 10:14pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
How about rules to make a good christian? |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Igwe9(m): 10:26pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
damn! so hilarious, |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by davidif: 10:48pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT POST. Dayokannu, you the man. This is the best thing i've read on nairaland since sagamite's "What Nairaland Female Members' Pictures Say To Me." https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-316937.0.html Once again, this is an incredibly funny thread, the -8000 had me going. By the way, where did you get this one from? |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by ritaNL: 11:34pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
My kind of man |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by yme1(f): 11:40pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
thumbs up bro |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by Outstrip(f): 11:56pm On Oct 11, 2009 |
lol |
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife: by trekkie: 1:30am On Oct 12, 2009 |
:d ;d :d ;d |
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