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When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) - Romance - Nairaland

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When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 8:03pm On Sep 22, 2016
cheesy


Dear Christian,

Why would you involve spirituality over everything?

You want to have sex with your wife,

YOUR WIFE!

And you have to pray to God and speak in tongues

"Father in Jesus name,

Father Lord, we commit this activity into your hands Lord, watch us till the end in the name of Jesus.

We sanctify our body with the blood of Jesus

We cover our activity with the blood of Jesus

We speak against every demon that will want to take advantage of this activity in Jesus name

Father, forgive us in anticipation for our sex positions which might not be according to your will. We know that the missionary style is scriptural but incase we do the doggy, 6-4, 6-9, and others, father forgive us for we know not what we are doing at that time

We cover our room with the blood of Jesus

We sanctify our bed with the blood of Jesus

During the climax of our activity, if we call your name during the session, father forgive us.

Thank you father for agreeing with us,

In Jesus name we pray

Amen"

No No No, A thousand times NO!

God is not agreeing with neither of you!

I mean are you this religious?

Sex is for you. Enjoy it mehn!

Your wife should be turned off when you start up the prayers

Instead of you to remove your cloths and send yourselves to cloud nine you are busy praying to God for guidance and protection

You are not serious..

You need help

Your religiosity will ruin your marriage with boredom!

I rebuke you in Jesus name!

Taar!

Yours Lovingly,
P.Menorah

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by thesicilian: 8:06pm On Sep 22, 2016
Lol. Watch us till the end indeed.

1 Like

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Luckymay(f): 8:36pm On Sep 22, 2016
Omg! I can't stop laughing. Imagine "forgive us for doing extra styles like 64, 69 and doggy." BTW... Which one is 64 again?
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by iykekelvins(m): 8:43pm On Sep 22, 2016
Luckymay:
Omg! I can't stop laughing.
Imagine "forgive us for doing extra styles like 64, 69 and doggy."
BTW... Which one is 64 again?
Mesef dey hear am for the first time
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Luckymay(f): 8:50pm On Sep 22, 2016
iykekelvins:
Mesef dey hear am for the first time
Maybe the sex pros in this section will enlighten us
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by IncomeClass: 8:53pm On Sep 22, 2016
Religion must not interfere in marriage


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_gDtZwaJk0
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 8:55pm On Sep 22, 2016
64 ko 120 ni grin grin


Only deeper lifers do pray before sex.
I'm fact, I heard one that cried after sex because 'They' said it's a sin and they are married oo.
Smh.

4 Likes

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 8:58pm On Sep 22, 2016
HateU2:
64 ko 120 ni grin grin


Only deeper lifers do pray before sex.
I'm fact, I heard one that cried after sex because 'They' said it's a sin and they are married oo.
Smh.
Why are you lying like this?. grin
And op, which married couple prays b4 sex?.
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:00pm On Sep 22, 2016
herbie27:
Why are you lying like this?. grin
And op, which married couple prays b4 sex?.
I am not lying oo grin grin. Na deeper lifers dey do am smiley
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by IamLEGEND1: 9:01pm On Sep 22, 2016

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:04pm On Sep 22, 2016
Luckymay:

Maybe the sex pros in this section will enlighten us
obontami angry
This sister needs your help smiley

1 Like

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:05pm On Sep 22, 2016
HateU2:
I am not lying oo grin grin. Na deeper lifers dey do am smiley
Op is referring to married couples, and the union has given them the legitimate authority to have sex, if they like they should do 360 or break a bed, God is ok with that.

Maybe a deeper lifer who doesn't even know why God joined them. grin
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:15pm On Sep 22, 2016
herbie27:
Op is referring to married couples, and the union has given them the legitimate authority to have sex, if they like they should do 360 or break a bed, God is ok with that.

Maybe a deeper lifer who doesn't even know why God joined them. grin
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy



I like that 360 smiley
Wanna teach me

1 Like

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Luckymay(f): 9:16pm On Sep 22, 2016
HateU2:
obontami angry This sister needs your help smiley
Who is obontami?
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:18pm On Sep 22, 2016
Luckymay:

Who is obontami?
relax sister cheesy, he's here. He will help you with what you don't understand about sex cheesy smiley wink

1 Like

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by obontami: 9:18pm On Sep 22, 2016
Luckymay:
Omg! I can't stop laughing.
Imagine "forgive us for doing extra styles like 64, 69 and doggy."
BTW... Which one is 64 again?
if your toto dey available I go teach You the style angry undecided
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:18pm On Sep 22, 2016
HateU2:
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy



I like that 360 smiley
Wanna teach me
cheesy cheesy You and sex talk, just add the memes.

Lol.
360 degrees on bed na, u no sabi am?.
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Chiscomax(m): 9:19pm On Sep 22, 2016
Yes o! Pray before u eat



grin

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:20pm On Sep 22, 2016
herbie27:
cheesy cheesy You and sex talk, just add the memes.

Lol.
360 degrees on bed na, u no sabi am?.
I'm still learning oo cheesy.


No, I don't . Biko teach me cheesy.
Edakun, epp me cry
Don't let them snatch my boo cheesy

4 Likes

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 9:22pm On Sep 22, 2016
herbie27:
Why are you lying like this?. grin And op, which married couple prays b4 sex?.


Deeper life couples.... lol
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Luckymay(f): 9:45pm On Sep 22, 2016
obontami:
if your toto dey available I go teach You the style angry undecided
It's not available. You can put it in writing. Thanks
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by plutosun0123(m): 10:10pm On Sep 22, 2016
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Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 10:58pm On Sep 22, 2016
Zzz

1 Like

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by eunisam: 12:07am On Sep 23, 2016
hmmmmmmm not funny enough to make me laugh.this is funny seriously
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by obontami: 1:19am On Sep 23, 2016
Luckymay:

It's not available. You can put it in writing. Thanks
I think it will make a lot of sense if I use my huge dick to praticalise it with your pusssy, hence you'd grab the logic of the sex position easily wink
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by obontami: 1:21am On Sep 23, 2016
HateU2:
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy


I like that 360 smiley Wanna teach me
lez alert tongue
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by petkoffDrake(m): 3:13am On Sep 23, 2016
Check My signature
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Lovexme(m): 5:23am On Sep 23, 2016
Please guys, help a fellow Nairalander win this by liking.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKq2WrBjk9H/

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Lovexme(m): 5:23am On Sep 23, 2016
Please guys, help a fellow Nairalander win this by liking.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKq2WrBjk9H/

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by Nobody: 6:45am On Sep 23, 2016
obontami:
lez alert tongue
better than having dicks in there tongue tongue

1 Like

Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by eojepa: 7:02am On Sep 23, 2016
grin weird.
Re: When A Christian Wants To Have Sex With His Wife (read Hilarious Prayers) by tpiar: 8:13pm On Sep 22, 2019
cheesy


Dear Christian,

Why would you involve spirituality over everything?

You want to have sex with your wife,

YOUR WIFE!

And you have to pray to God and speak in tongues

"Father in Jesus name,

Father Lord, we commit this activity into your hands Lord, watch us till the end in the name of Jesus.

We sanctify our body with the blood of Jesus

We cover our activity with the blood of Jesus

We speak against every demon that will want to take advantage of this activity in Jesus name

Father, forgive us in anticipation for our sex positions which might not be according to your will. We know that the missionary style is scriptural but incase we do the doggy, 6-4, 6-9, and others, father forgive us for we know not what we are doing at that time

We cover our room with the blood of Jesus

We sanctify our bed with the blood of Jesus

During the climax of our activity, if we call your name during the session, father forgive us.

Thank you father for agreeing with us,

In Jesus name we pray

Amen"


And when there are too many eyes staring at your sexual intercourse, aren't you supposed to pray this prayer?

(1) (Reply)

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