Tabioth 21: 1-32

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
1. Now when Jasheb did not return to the mountain at Beth-El where Nymphidis(Yahweh) and his angels lived, Nymphidis(Yahweh) began to get angry. And he said, what has befallen Jasheb? For I know that he can never have fled by himself?
2. And Nymphidis said, I shall destroy the homos of Yacob for this thing. For they indeed have caused this thing. Now Asherah stood before Nymphidis and pleaded with him to spare the homos of Yacob of his wrath.
3. But Nymphidis said, do you know to what purpose the Almighty God named me Satan? I am he who does not listen or change my ways. And Reverad knew that I shall be a great enemies to the homos on earth if they do not worship me.
4. And I am the embodiment of jealousy and anger. Therefore I shall do whatever I have determined to do and no one shall stop me.
5. Now Asherah knelt daily before Nymphidis to plead for Yacob, saying, Jasheb shall be found, O lord. For I perceive that the loss of Jasheb is not from the land of Yacob.
6. But Nymphidis said, I do not want to hear anything at this time. For if the homos of Yacob did care about me, they would have protected Jasheb. For they know that he is the one whom I have been sending to them all the time, saying, tell my people what is in my mind.
7. Now when the pleas of Asherah was not accepted by Nymphidis, Asherah ceased to plead with him. And she said, do as you wish, Yahweh, the consuming fire. But this which you have determined to do shall speak against you in the future.
8. For the homos shall by this know that you are evil. For how shall you destroy multitude because of this little thing? Shall you pervert justice because of this?
9. For if you destroy the young and old and the innocent ones altogether, how then are you justified? For this is the act of terror and nothing more. When Nymphidis heard it, he was angry with Asherah. And he put her in prison, saying, how do you raise you face against me and speak this?
10. Therefore you shall be locked up until I shall accomplish that which I have determined to bring upon my people.
11. So Nymphidis communed with Daoud that night in his dream, saying, Yacob have sinned against me in taking Jasheb away. Now go and search all through the land of Yacob for Jasheb and count the homos to see those who are no more in the land.
12. For anyone who is not in this land shall I hold at ransom for the loss of Jasheb.
13. Then when Daoud rose up in the morning, he called Joab who was the Chief of his armies and said, go and count the numbers of homos in Yacob. And you shall record the names of those who have left the land and the purpose to which they left shall you also record.
14. And you shall check the names of these three for me, to know if they are in the land, hiding in the caves or they have departed; Salak, Regima and Jasheb. For Salak the chief scribe upon my mountain is he who has the scrolls in his hands where I have written all the genealogies of Yacob into.
15. And the last time when I sent him to Yacob from the mountain at Beth-El, saying, go and take record of the names of they in Yacob from ten years below, he did not return anymore. And he has taken away the book of record with him.
16. Then Regima did I also send down from my mountain, saying, go and seek after Salak, but I did not also find him.
17. Then I sent Jasheb to you, Daoud, saying, go to Daoud and tell him that I am angry with Yacob for the loss of my messengers, but Jasheb also did not return to me.
18. And this thing I would have told you directly, O Daoud, but you did not come up to your higher self through meditation for a month now, therefore you did not hear from me until now.
19. Therefore Daoud, tell Joab to count the Yacobites and give me the names of those who are not in the land. And these shall I hold ransom for the loss of my messengers.
20. So Daoud sent for Joab in the morning, saying, go and count Yacob and bring me the number. And bring also the names of those who are not in the land now.
21. Then Joab wondered and said, did the messenger of our god not come few days ago to write the names of everyone in Yacob? And this he took with him to the mountain of our god.
22. Then Daoud said, go and do what I said, for of a truth Salak did not return to our god, but he was lost. And our lord did instruct me to find out those who are not in the land also, so that we can know those who left the land with the messengers of our god.
23. So Joab went and counted Yacob according to the commandment of Daoud. And he counted about 100 thousands in Sumeria and about 60 thousands in the land of Jew.
24. And Joab returned to Daoud and said, Simei and Abiatar the priests are no more in the land. Also, Jonathan and Adonija the sons of Solmani are not in the land.
25. For they are grieved at you for keeping Roboam their brother in the prison until this time. For Roboam was he who should have become king over the whole land of Yacob, but you denied him, putting him in prison.
26. And Jonathan also, who is the second son of Solmani, you denied kingship. And they have conspired together to start another kingdom. And they rebelled against you and left the kingdom.
27. And who knows if they are also the homos who took Jasheb and all the messengers of Faulkin who are missing?
28. Now when Daoud heard this, he was angry with Joab, saying, you know all these things, yet you did not tell me beforehand. And you did cause great tumult in the land.
29. Then Joab said, when I came to your court to tell you, Nathan your son did hinder me to come to you, saying that you are fasting. And I told him all the things which I would have told you, saying, O Nathan, tell the king saying, Adonija and Jonathan, the sons of Solmani have declared themselves kings among the homos of Yabus.
30. And they have the support of Abiatar and Simei the priests. Now tell the king to command us to fight against them and capture them.
31. Now when I told Nathan this, he said that he shall deliver my message to you, king. And Nathan came to me and said that you have commanded that we should prepare a fierce battle against them.
32. So we did and drove them out of the land. But we did not know if they took the messengers of our Lord god with them when they fled the land.

Yahweh is just one king god that is about the worst of all. Yet some worships his ego.