I give her everything she wants, I make love to her like no one else has {According to her}, I take out time out of my very busy schedule just to make sure I am always there when she needs me but I have this very deep feeling she’s seeing other men.


We don’t touch our phones, we respect each other that way, well she brought the idea and I accepted, I didn’t want it to seem like I didn’t trust her or anything, but I can’t shake this feeling that something is going on and I don’t want to ask her so I don’t offend her.


I haven’t seen her in weeks, she’s been giving me one excuse after the other, she doesn’t work, she doesn’t school, so what’s taking her time?, if I offer to come see her at her family’s house she would decline, but I have been going there in the past.


Bella please help me, how do I communicate with her, how do I make sure she’s not taking me for a ride, we have been dating for 8 months now and I really love her, I have been hurt so many times and I was hoping she’s my last trial when it comes to love, I want to spend the rest of my life with her but these days I feel there are things she’s not telling me, please help me.





Talk2Bella



First, I must commend your sacrifice in trying to make your current relationship work with your partner. It's a good thing to know that there are men out there who put out their best to make their women happy, please don't relent in such admirable character. But there are few things I would like to tell you.


1. You can't please someone enough. You stated in your story you provide all that she wants and I feel you are trying too hard to please her and at this point, I believe she needs some space.



2. There are subtle ways to make a woman open up to you when you feel things are becoming vague in your relationship with her. Do not try to play the blame game on her by making her feel bad, else it would only make matters worse. Do not let emotions get you depressed as it is not ideal to depend on feelings. Try to focus your energy on the things that will make you happy apart from love. I strongly believe as you are up with this task, she will realize how much she has missed you and apologize for having taking you for granted.


Sometimes, silence works.



Reply From Ikenna Ihekweazu [Cute Hector]



Talk2Bella Team

http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/09/i-think-i-might-have-been-fool-in-love.html

My experience on this area has taught me that the more I try to be over caring, the easier they slip through my fingers. So I have now learnt to face reality, never to over dwell in the past and to be nobody's fool in the name of love anymore. Op, when the inner voice refuses to shut up for a long time then it is your brain warning you to be careful with your heart.

You are dating a girl who is not working and not schooling for 8 months?

So what have both of you contributed to your personal and collective growth




But Talk2Bella, I don dey suspect you

Talk2Bella:
I give her everything she wants, [/b]I make love to her like no one else has {According to her}, I take out time out of my very busy schedule just to make sure I am always there when she needs me but I have this very deep feeling she’s seeing other men.

[b]I haven’t seen her in weeks, she’s been giving me one excuse after the other, she doesn’t work, she doesn’t school, so what’s taking her time?, if I offer to come see her at her family’s house she would decline, but I have been going there in the past.


I want to spend the rest of my life with her but these days I feel there are things she’s not telling me, please help me.


http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/09/i-think-i-might-have-been-fool-in-love.html

Classic case of ambivalence. Not only is she not sure of what she wants, but it is clearly not you. I mean, you are not her priority. In fact, she doesn't even value you as a friend in the simplest of case.

Something clearly is going on. It's a matter of what. She doesn't even value you as a friend enough to share what's bothering her nor mature enough to be upfront with you because you are spoiling her with all this attention of love and probably money- so she doesn't want give that up entirely. She puts you on hold instead of hanging up.


So yes, this guy is being taken for granted and for a roller-coaster ride. The writing is on the wall. Do not plan a future with someone who is exhibiting these signs. Case closed.

Often times than not, being in love means being foolish.

izzou:
You are dating a girl who is not working and not schooling for 8 months?

So what have both of you contributed to your personal and collective growth




But Talk2Bella, I don dey suspect you

What I do?

queencalipso:
Often times than not, being in love means being foolish.

Not far from the truth

Xiadnat:


Classic case of ambivalence. Not only is she not sure of what she wants, but it is clearly not you. I mean, you are not her priority. In fact, she doesn't even value you as a friend in the simplest of case.

Something clearly is going on. It's a matter of what. She doesn't even value you as a friend enough to share what's bothering her nor mature enough to be upfront with you because you are spoiling her with all this attention of love and probably money- so she doesn't want give that up entirely. She puts you on hold instead of hanging up.


So yes, this guy is being taken for granted and for a roller-coaster ride. The writing is on the wall. Do not plan a future with someone who is exhibiting these signs. Case closed.

You seem to have concluded already, what if she's going through something personal?

Talk2Bella:


You seem to have concluded already, what if she's going through something personal?

I think you misunderstood my post. When I said something is going on that includes anything ranging from other men to just family or self esteem issues etc .

Yes, it could be that the issue is not really another guy. The thing is that's what a relationship/friendship is about--you share your issues with other people especially the ones you are in intimate relationship with.

How can you be going thru a life issue (asides from cheating) and you not let the person you are in relationship know about it. Then, what are they there for? To chop your money or for decoration or for appearances? What?

What a 21st century FooL

queencalipso:
Often times than not, being in love means being foolish.

Gbam........ True talk

Talk2bella you give questions and you answer it yourself..
i dont see where we come in anymore
Or do you need my dïck

NOBODYY:
Talk2bella you give questions and you answer it yourself..
i dont see where we come in anymore
Or do you need my dïck

lol the person who she posted the story about wants advice from all and sundry dats why she posted it in here. She being the host also has to chip in one or two words.

NOBODYY:
Talk2bella you give questions and you answer it yourself..
i dont see where we come in anymore
Or do you need my dïck

No I don't

firstking01:
What a 21st century FooL

Please tell me who broke your heart

Xiadnat:


I think you misunderstood my post. When I said something is going on that includes anything ranging from other men to just family or self esteem issues etc .

Yes, it could be that the issue is not really another guy. The thing is that's what a relationship/friendship is about--you share your issues with other people especially the ones you are in intimate relationship with.

How can you be going thru a life issue (asides from cheating) and you not let the person you are in relationship know about it. Then, what are they there for? To chop your money or for decoration or for appearances? What?

Not everyone knows how to share something personal
I recently read a post here on nairaland where a girl told her boyfriend she's had an abortion in the past and he broke up with her so you see some situations can't be talked about they would rather go thru it alone

Talk2Bella:


Please tell me who broke your heart

epic

Talk2Bella:


Not everyone knows how to share something personal
I recently read a post here on nairaland where a girl told her boyfriend she's had an abortion in the past and he broke up with her so you see some situations can't be talked about they would rather go thru it alone

So then, you advocate people hide or lie to their partners about stuff that's personal? And is this healthy emotionally? Psychologically? spiritually? or to certain point, physically? NOOOO.

At some point, everyone should have at least one person they can be open and vulnerable to. If its not your partner, then you should not be with that person at all.

Per your abortion example; it is the right to tell your potential spouse a past like that, if they can't get past it, then so be it. If you hold on to a secret like abortion, what kind of relationship succeeds when it is based on lies and secrets like that?

Xiadnat:


So then, you advocate people hide or lie to their partners about stuff that's personal? And is this healthy emotionally? Psychologically? spiritually? or to certain point, physically? NOOOO.

At some point, everyone should have at least one person they can be open and vulnerable to. If its not your partner, then you should not be with that person at all.

Per your abortion example; it is the right to tell your potential spouse a past like that, if they can't get past it, then so be it. If you hold on to a secret like abortion, what kind of relationship succeeds when it is based on lies and secrets like that?

none at all, but we need to break the barrier of judgments and sentiments, and this is common amongst African folks, no relationship should thrive on lies the end is always disastrous for both parties.

trust is earned and not given, I do not think he has earned her trust

Talk2Bella:


none at all, but we need to break the barrier of judgments and sentiments, and this is common amongst African folks, no relationship should thrive on lies the end is always disastrous for both parties.

trust is earned and not given, I do not think he has earned her trust

Fair enough. Maybe so. But, shutting him off isn't a good way to begin earning someone's trust. Baby steps helps.

Alright, enough of this super story. We are on the same page. Next drama please.

Talk2Bella:

Please tell me who broke your heart

Tarrrh, no girl fit

firstking01:
Tarrrh, no girl fit

Uhun

Xiadnat:


Fair enough. Maybe so. But, shutting him off isn't a good way to begin earning someone's trust. Baby steps helps.

Alright, enough of this super story. We are on the same page. Next drama please.

Talk2Bella:

Uhun

Even you sef, you no fit.

NOBODYY:
Talk2bella you give questions and you answer it yourself..
i dont see where we come in anymore
Or do you need my dïck
And she says...

and she says...

Talk2Bella:

No I don't

Just a question Talk2bella..Why do you like fabricating stories?

NOBODYY:
Talk2bella you give questions and you answer it yourself..
i dont see where we come in anymore
Or do you need my dïck

ok, if i can get you, you want it to be that she should post the issue alone here without her advice while we discuss it? Talk2Bella it might be a nice idea...

bi0nics:
Just a question Talk2bella..Why do you like fabricating stories?

bamisepeters:
ok, if i can get you, you want it to be that she should post the issue alone here without her advice while we discuss it? Talk2Bella it might be a nice idea...

Can't do that dear, not everyone on nairaland reads my blog can't ask my readers to come here for answers na

firstking01:
Even you sef, you no fit.

Don't intend to

My gf is like also...she's got her on-peak and off-peak periods. I used to be bothered and all before, asking her what's wrong, what's is it blah blah blah... But now wey I get like 2 side chicks....I no longer care so much.
The truth is ur gf doesn't av faith in d relationship and I can bet my left blokos, dat she has anoda guy outside, she's just with u probably cos d oda doesn't give her money/affection as u do. Ure a spare bf.

Talk2Bella:


Can't do that dear, not everyone on nairaland reads my blog can't ask my readers to come here for answers na

No, that is not what i mean. Your reply will be in your blog for the blog readers, you just copy the issue alone and paste here so that some people will not feel you have already answered, let them participate too.