Just keep praying for him because he doesn't know what he is doing

The only thing I'm reading from so called advice here is blaming the woman for her husband's philandering. Asking if she is fit and in shape, or does well in bed or cook well or blah blah blah.

Woman talk sense to him and if he won't change leave him for your sanity and peace of mind. Remember AIDS is real oo.

ItsQuinn:
Cheating is natural and normal, please learn to accept that fact and ignore his actions, when he realize that you don't give a fvck about what he does, or he sees that what he does doesn't hurt you anymore, he will be forced to change. Tell him to go for stds tests, when you guys want to make love, use condoms for your own protection until you know he's clean

Cheating is natural and normal ? Wow, Sister...come and date me oh, so i can be cheating on you everyday, i hope you will find it very natural and normal

toyetade:

Divorce him and you may be single for the rest of your life.

Toks2008:


Wow! I'm so impressed with what I'm reading from nland ladies on this thread.

Some guys are hopelessly wayward and it won't be a bad idea if the wife begs him to use a condom on the side chics for her sake even if he hates himself.

Listen to yourself sir. So because she is a woman, she has become a non entity who would give a man condom to go sleep with other women ba? Why are you people this inconsiderate ? Would you entertain this same thing from your wife? Why do you people believe women have to bear shit in marriage? Who tells you God said women should keep forgiving? Can you quote the Bible verse for me please.

napa:


Thanks. I am indeed getting really tired. I just feel if I were some wild girls he won't try what he's been doing. Love is getting a bit cold. I hope I will be able to put up with this longer

Show him u can be wild toooooo

Look for an old friend n chat up let him see it n say its nothing n truely its nothing...

Or when next u catch him, let him know u cant n wont continue.
U r being too cool headed.


Me?
I will start saving seriously n making craxy demands to save too...
He will have a rethink when he suspects ur plans.
Dress more, change wat u can... snap more... change dp. ... let him be very attracted again n actlike its nothing.

Becareful of infections sha if u r sure he is cheating.... if i am sure, i will nice up n refuse conjugal duties except he has a condom or two on.... he will think well.

If its too much, take a walk.
U have ur kids to love

napa:
Thanks for the responses. We were close friends from the university, didn't see such traits in him while we were dating, if not I would never have gone ahead. What he keeps saying is that it's the ladies that are forcing themselves on him which sounds very lame to me. I will however ask him if there are things he wants me to change because he doesn't complain about me and he's someone that talks a lot so I know he'd have complained if he had issues with me

You are in the best position to know what to do. Take us all here as your brothers,sisters and friends. Napa,I love the fact that your life is a triangle as in work-home-church.

If you were my biological sister,you for don start to stay with me since before you go carry AIDS or STD by proxy come give us.

Haba. What's your own na ?

However sometimes you have to take some drastic decisions else you might regret the results. You said you can't report him because no one can chastise him. Well that's too bad.

You have just confirmed that you are in big trouble.
Here is my advice.

Go get a small apartment of say a self contain
Pack every single pin you have and move out
Serve him divorce papers
Adopt a kid from the orphanage to pour your love on.

If that goofer of a husband respects you,he will come and look for you and then you give him your terms.

If he doesn't start coming home before 7:30,he should forget the marriage.
If he won't go for a general medical check-up which includes AIDS test and all other related STDs,...NO SEX...not even with condom.

Dear,move out ASAP
God won't be angry for that one. It does not mean you don't love or want to fight for him. It just means you are being wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. Afterall,the bible says wisdom is profitable to direct.

But in case you want to stay with him till he gives you STD,be my guest.

You don suffer too much...
Imagine
5years....
And you are still s sitting duck

I dey vex for you right now.
You sef dey look for trouble.
Do you want an STD first before you get wise ?

#AngerWithSteam

tascotyee:
[/quote][quote author=napa post=49955709]We've been married for five years and he has cheated all through these years. He keeps late nights without any tangible reason. He travels in and out of Nigeria for the purpose of meeting different women, he chats dirty with different women. He calls random women at home e.t.c. He is also very quick to apologise and promise to turn a new leaf anytime I confront him with evidences.
The issue here is I'm getting really fed up of his kind of life style, I feel he is taking me for granted and just playing on my emotions because he knows there is nothing I can do after his apologies. He too relaxed with me and feels he can do anything and get away with it. I work and he does too but he knows I live a triangular kind of life. From work back home then to church, I'm more of a homely person. I'm beginning to think it's my fault for him not getting on his toes. I don't intend reporting him to any of his family members because he won't be chastised.

I need candid and matured advice please.

I think you need to put him on his toes. Begin to socialise, go out and meet people. Flirt with the opposite sex, and let him see it. Don't cheat on him but make him feel jealous. You will be surprised. It works like magic. He will change his ways

Joy1706:

Where in the bible is it stated that a lady is expected to keep on forgiving her husband's infidelity.
Wonderful heart of forgiveness my azz. Anyways thank God you said MOST ladies not all

Forgiveness is the nature of God towards man but difficult from man to man

We are instructed by Christ to forgive 70 x 7 times a day and in the case of marriage the only condition for a woman to remarry when the man I'd still alive is desertion meaning the man abandons their marriage and not just when he cheats on her.

A man can be with a wife at home yet has abandoned the marriage in many ways...

-If a man neglects his conjugal right
-If a man beats his wife (this is very relative considering the role some women play in this act.)
-If a man refuses to play his primary role of providing for the family provided he has the means. .

Someone advised you to try reverse psychology. Be careful if you choose to take that as some men wld never take it as a joke and that might spell the end of the marriage (especially when you don't want out)
Just work on your appearance, physique, dressing, make-up et Al.
You just may not be paying attention to how you look now.

ItsQuinn:
Cheating is natural and normal, please learn to accept that fact and ignore his actions, when he realize that you don't give a fvck about what he does, or he sees that what he does doesn't hurt you anymore, he will be forced to change. Tell him to go for stds tests, when you guys want to make love, use condoms for your own protection until you know he's clean

on point

Only two options now: manage or leave him. Because chronic womanizing is a habit that won't stop anytime soon

LyfeJennings:


Does he perform his responsibilities?
I have to be very blunt with U
U see, U very very lucky he comes home and acts like a man.
Men are polygamous in nature and the earlier you take it. The better for you
Just keep being a good wife and be prayerful
God will change him for U

......what nonsense is this now??..so pathetic!

Dyt:
I can't believe what I am reading on this threwad
This is most ridiculous


For five years?
Different women?
Your husband is a serial killer ma'am

And you are being adviced to pray, check yourself and ask questions?


Oh God have mercy

A CHEAT IS ALWAYS A CHEAT
THAT MAN WONT FECKING CHANGE
CHOOSE TO DEAL WITH DISEASES, EMOTIONAL TORTURE, MENTAL INSTABILITY, AND WHAT NOTS OR THE HECK LEAVE


Hypocrites will flood me with mentions now
Awon oloriburuku
As if they can take it

you are absolutely correct. Forgiveness is only extended when one is genuinely repentant. If not it will be taken for granted, as is it has in this lady's case.





OP, I'll suggest you separate for sometime, for him can come back to his senses. Otherwise you should get a divorce. I can't stand cheating, and i don't expect or encourage anyone to bear it.

dotedote:

Just work on your appearance, physique, dressing, make-up et Al.
You just may not be paying attention to how you look now.

^^^^^^^

Ngokafor:

......what nonsense is this now??..so pathetic!

Try the option of asking him to take you often, you could do more to chop him up with your presence.

call him up after work and request you both hangout or travel together on times you can stay off work

ItsQuinn:
Cheating is natural and normal, please learn to accept that fact and ignore his actions, when he realize that you don't give a fvck about what he does, or he sees that what he does doesn't hurt you anymore, he will be forced to change. Tell him to go for stds tests, when you guys want to make love, use condoms for your own protection until you know he's clean

Queen...u are shockingly too bright for your own good! Cheating is normal? For the two of them or for the guy alone? Oya let us pray...

napa:
We've been married for five years and he has cheated all through these years. He keeps late nights without any tangible reason. He travels in and out of Nigeria for the purpose of meeting different women, he chats dirty with different women. He calls random women at home e.t.c. He is also very quick to apologise and promise to turn a new leaf anytime I confront him with evidences.
The issue here is I'm getting really fed up of his kind of life style, I feel he is taking me for granted and just playing on my emotions because he knows there is nothing I can do after his apologies. He too relaxed with me and feels he can do anything and get away with it. I work and he does too but he knows I live a triangular kind of life. From work back home then to church, I'm more of a homely person. I'm beginning to think it's my fault for him not getting on his toes. I don't intend reporting him to any of his family members because he won't be chastised.

I need candid and matured advice please.

Keep him on his toes, go out more, go to the movies, gym , girls night out , swimming pool, accept compliments from people, spend money on looking good but DO NOT CHEAT ON HIM

He will be a bit jittery, and try playing the detective card.. That is enough to distract him off his game, and he gets into your game

toyetade:
Divorce him and you may be single for the rest of your life. Look away from his ways focus on building your family having children. Intensify your Christian life

What is wrong with being single for life?


www.nairaland.com/attachments/2967747_fbimg1444992350224_jpegf70cc525e33ec68bb8fc9bcebcb23f66


www.nairaland.com/attachments/2967748_img115703433667984_jpeg_jpeg2c6bca7566c716e01d87844d8a6aa6c0

Like serious such habit is uncalled~for, ensure you address it fast as possible. Get elders that you know he must listen to so they can caution and make sure he change his ways. May God assist you!

Dyt:
I can't believe what I am reading on this threwad
This is most ridiculous


For five years?
Different women?
Your husband is a serial killer ma'am

And you are being adviced to pray, check yourself and ask questions?


Oh God have mercy

A CHEAT IS ALWAYS A CHEAT
THAT MAN WONT FECKING CHANGE
CHOOSE TO DEAL WITH DISEASES, EMOTIONAL TORTURE, MENTAL INSTABILITY, AND WHAT NOTS OR THE HECK LEAVE


Hypocrites will flood me with mentions now
Awon oloriburuku
As if they can take it

what's now your advise?

what exactly those he get out they? are u given him? don't come here and paint urself white and make us feel u are the best wife... go and know what ur husband needs and if no chances tell go to church and tell God

I feel ur pains dear but I would like to know how u react each time he cheats b4 I can say anything

napa:
Thanks for the responses. We were close friends from the university, didn't see such traits in him while we were dating, if not I would never have gone ahead. What he keeps saying is that it's the ladies that are forcing themselves on him which sounds very lame to me. I will however ask him if there are things he wants me to change because he doesn't complain about me and he's someone that talks a lot so I know he'd have complained if he had issues with me

the problem with gentlemen is that they cheat, most wives beaters don't, that is why their wives don't quit. Just start a new hobby and get happiness there

anonimi:


What is wrong with being single for life

You dey mind that one?

Lexusgs:



He needs a sharp shock treatment!!!!! Unfortunately your actions of accepting the quick apologies, are simply only fueling his urge and insatiable desire for external desires.
Sharp shock treatment - He either needs some sort of therapy (actually both of you need therapy) or you walk out of the marriage.
Are you awaiting the time he infects you something, before you do the needful?
Staying in this type of marriage is only encouraging him to spread his wings and explore (he knows only an apology would always pacify you)...... .

@Lexusgs, that's a nail on the head
You just did justice to this topic point blank.

Leave her to be speaking latin till he infects her with something terrible and let's see if an apology will solve it...

I am a man but I am so pissed right now.
If my wife catches me cheating even once,na only me go do all the test and show her the results sef and then beg plenty with my friends and family plus one small vacation for her in any country she chooses just so she forgives me.

For those people who say cheating is always a norm...I disagree...cheating is a choice.

Imagine
5years

This woman get mind sha

idu1:
what's now your advise?

Which do you have issues with:
Reading?
Comprehension?
Or what?

anonimi:


What is wrong with being single for life?


www.nairaland.com/attachments/2967747_fbimg1444992350224_jpegf70cc525e33ec68bb8fc9bcebcb23f66


www.nairaland.com/attachments/2967748_img115703433667984_jpeg_jpeg2c6bca7566c716e01d87844d8a6aa6c0

God and ask women who have gone through it especially if they were married before. It is better to do all you can to repair yoir marriage than becoming single again

Oh Thank you! For both

sisisioge:


Queen...u are shockingly too bright for your own good! Cheating is normal? For the two of them or for the guy alone? Oya let us pray...

napa:
Thanks for the responses. We were close friends from the university, didn't see such traits in him while we were dating, if not I would never have gone ahead. What he keeps saying is that it's the ladies that are forcing themselves on him which sounds very lame to me. I will however ask him if there are things he wants me to change because he doesn't complain about me and he's someone that talks a lot so I know he'd have complained if he had issues with me

Madam, the bold portion needs to be handled very carefully.
Best.

adeaks:
Play him at the same game he is playing. Start cultivating very close friendships with other men. If he raises any queries, tell him it is not your fault, rather it is the men who keep bringing themselves to you.

However, If he is truly not bothered that you might be seeing other men, then prayers is the only thing that can help his case.

I disagree with you abeg on that playing on same game level stuff. You cant feign mad to cure madness. What are those knees meant for, let her go down on her knees and pray, that is the key. Some of those actions may be as a result of coming into contact with demon possessed ladies who will never let him go until his life is ruined. Prayer is the key.