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Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. - Romance - Nairaland

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Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by MalikTheCynical(m): 8:01am On Oct 11, 2016
I am suffering. I am suffering greatly.

NOTE: This will be REALLY LONG. I'm just doing this for the sake of catharsis. I am in turmoil
NOTE AGAIN: I am not a stranger to heartbreaks, this one just caught me unawares.

I will call her Adaeze. We got chatting over whatsapp early August last year after her brother, who is my online friend gave me her number. By the following month and against my better judgment, I was in a relationship with a girl in PH while I was(still is) at Ilorin. I wasn't going to take her serious because of the insane distance especially considering the fact that we're both students, I just wanted to have an experience of puppy love too 'cause I don't do love. Just FWB.
She fell in love with me 'cause of my humour and intellect and I fell in love with her(much later than she did) because of her seemingly unblemished sweetness and innocence.
I fell in love more and more. Up to the point that I started cutting off some of my real life biitches cause I wanted to get something as close to faithfulness to her as possible.
We had only one problem: Adaeze behaves like a child; with all that entails, of course. She would get embarrassed and quickly try to change topics whenever I try to get us talking about any sex-related activity. She seemed to so totally abhor any notion of sex that I complained to a friend. Naturally, I assumed she's a virgin. She led me on. I'd made many mention to her virginity when talking about something else and she'd always seemed cool.
My love for her got raised to the power of a gazillion when she told me we had to see this September to celebrate our year of being in a relationship. Being the man, I ordinarily should set the precedence by visiting her first what with these news of cyber sexual predators and what not but when I made her realise that my coming over would be very impractical, she decided she'd be coming instead!
To come see a guy she'd never met before. A guy with whom she's shared at best, a kiss emoji with! I was impressed. She was always the one who calls the more often and shii but mehn, this was the real deal. My affection for her danced dangerously around the threshold of reverence.
Meanwhile, I'd noticed that lately, in the past 2-3 weeks, actually, she's actually said she's Hot on more than 2 occasions and she seemed generally receptive of my romantic/sexual innuendos. I just hung it on maturity. She wasn't going to be so puritanical forever, I rationalised. I was nonetheless happy with this new development; the last knot had been unraveled. And just in time for her visit too. Given the tone of our recent chats, that we'd hit sheets seem a given.
In spite of my disinterest in virgins and my motto that only hypocrites look for virgins to marry(and yeah, I'd already visualised marriage with her...I'd actually couldn't wait to marry her even though I'd always wanted to marry late) while they themselves enjoy a liberal sexual life.
Enough of the irrelevancies sha.

I went a-strolling yesterday and of course, I wass chatting to my princess. We were chatting about something and just to make it official, I asked if she was a virgin. She remarked that I'd never asked her this question before and that why was I asking now. I told her I just assumed it's a given and that I just wanted to be sure. She said I should wait and find out when she finally comes to visit. I was puzzled but hey, this is Adaeze, right? She couldn't be any more than a blushing maiden, yes?
Later in the evening, my cousins who came to visit(I stay in lag but school at Ilorin) were making light jest of me; that but for the fact that I get laid and I got game, they'd have seriously quarreled me over Adaeze. That how could I be in an online shii? I just laughed it off. They said maybe she's rich that's why she'd come over to Ilorin. I told them her parents are cops(they thought it was one). They had a field day snickering and taunting me. When they realised that both of her parents are actually cops and that she stays in a barrack, they almost ganged up on me. They assured me that when she comes, I was gon' call them I swam in a sea(meaning she a hoe cause she too wide). I laughed it off.
But there was something oddly disquieting about their sureness.
That night, last night. I asked Adaeze for a heart to heart. I asked her to tell me the truth if she was a virgin or not.

My brothers and sisters, she dropped the first bombshell o. She isn't! I was petrified!
How?!! I knew she'd told me she'd dated twice before me: the first time when she was 15 and then, when she was 17.
I asked her who she lost it to and she said the second person. I started picking holes, inconsistencies in her narrative. This was when, my brothers and sisters, I took delivery of the second bombshell: this time, it came in the form of a Voice-note. She was sobbing and telling me about how she had a family friend who used to come around often back then. How he made love to her(as if it was a unilateral decision) when no one was around. How she called it off and threatened to expose him to her mom when she realised what she was doing was wrong but that she knew deep down that she wouldn't tell on him afterall. Cause she was as guilty. How she was oh-so-sorry for lying to me and why she had to come clean when she realised that she couldn't live with lying to me.
I went cold.
I went numb.
I asked her who else and she said no one else. I coerced and coaxed her to reveal more and she said there was one more guy she had while she was still with her 2nd boyfriend.
Mehn, I was blown off.
Na Adaeze dey reel off body count so?
I was(still am) heartbroken, to put it mildly.

I gave her the necessary assurances that I wouldn't leave her for what's already done and that I just need her loyalty from now onwards.

What never ceases to amaze me is how she got away with these secrets for so long. I mean, one of my greatest gifts is that of my perception. I am next to clairvoyant. How the heck did I miss this whaler?

I am suffering now. This is the wrongest time to be me.

1 Like

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Nobody: 8:07am On Oct 11, 2016
Hmmn
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Cutehector(m): 8:08am On Oct 11, 2016
Iffa woze u slap, I hope it's not d girl I think u talkin about
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by jonaifame22(m): 8:13am On Oct 11, 2016
.

1 Like

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by falconey(m): 8:16am On Oct 11, 2016
Protect yourself

4 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by youngestmilly: 8:21am On Oct 11, 2016
Mr man man what is all this? Your post is only a medium to show off your grammatical ignorance. Pls communicate simple next time

14 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by UrWorstNitemare: 8:25am On Oct 11, 2016
Damn!! How did I end up here?? embarassed

4 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by MalikTheCynical(m): 8:30am On Oct 11, 2016
I have completed it.

youngestmilly:
Mr man man what is all this? Your post is only a medium to show off your grammatical ignorance. Pls communicate simple next time

I'm not responsible for your ignorance. I can't water down my diction to please you.


You all should go back and re-read.
CC: falconey
Jonaiframe22
Cutehector
Colik

9 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by EkoErrands: 8:35am On Oct 11, 2016
MalikTheCynical:
I am suffering. I am suffering greatly.

NOTE: This will be REALLY LONG. I'm just doing this for the sake of catharsis. I am in turmoil
NOTE AGAIN: I am not a stranger to heartbreaks, this one just caught me unawares.

I will call her Adaeze. We got chatting over whatsapp early August last year after her brother, who is my online friend gave me her number. By the following month and against my better judgment, I was in a relationship with a girl in PH while I was(still is) at Ilorin. I wasn't going to take her serious because of the insane distance especially considering the fact that we're both students, I just wanted to have an experience of puppy love too 'cause I don't do love. Just FWB.
She fell in love with me 'cause of my humour and intellect and I fell in love with her(much later than she did) because of her seemingly unblemished sweetness and innocence.
I fell in love more and more. Up to the point that I started cutting off some of my real life biitches cause I wanted to get something as close to faithfulness to her as possible.
We had only one problem: Adaeze behaves like a child; with all that entails, of course. She would get embarrassed and quickly try to change topics whenever I try to get us talking about any sex-related activity. She seemed to so totally abhor any notion of sex that I complained to a friend. Naturally, I assumed she's a virgin. She led me on. I'd made many mention to her virginity when talking about something else and she'd always seemed cool.
My love for her got raised to the power of a gazillion when she told me we had to see this September to celebrate our year of being in a relationship. Being the man, I ordinarily should set the precedence by visiting her first what with these news of cyber sexual predators and what not but when I made her realise that my coming over would be very impractical, she decided she'd be coming instead!
To come see a guy she'd never met before. A guy with whom she's shared at best, a kiss emoji with! I was impressed. She was always the one who calls the more often and shii but mehn, this was the real deal. My affection for her danced dangerously around the threshold of reverence.
Meanwhile, I'd noticed that lately, in the past 2-3 weeks, actually, she's actually said she's Hot on more than 2 occasions and she seemed generally receptive of my romantic/sexual innuendos. I just hung it on maturity. She wasn't going to be so puritanical forever, I rationalised. I was nonetheless happy with this new development; the last knot had been unraveled. And just in time for her visit too. Given the tone of our recent chats, that we'd hit sheets seem a given.
In spite of my disinterest in virgins and my motto that only hypocrites look for virgins to marry(and yeah, I'd already visualised marriage with her...I'd actually couldn't wait to marry her even though I'd always wanted to marry late) while they themselves enjoy a liberal sexual life.
Enough of the irrelevancies sha.

I went a-strolling yesterday and of course, I wass chatting to my princess. We were chatting about something and just to make it official, I asked if she was a virgin. She remarked that I'd never asked her this question before and that why was I asking now. I told her I just assumed it's a given and that I just wanted to be sure. She said I should wait and find out when she finally comes to visit. I was puzzled but hey, this is Adaeze, right? She couldn't be any more than a blushing maiden, yes?
Later in the evening, my cousins who came to visit(I stay in lag but school at Ilorin) were making light jest of me; that but for the fact that I get laid and I got game, they'd have seriously quarreled me over Adaeze. That how could I be in an online shii? I just laughed it off. They said maybe she's rich that's why she'd come over to Ilorin. I told them her parents are cops(they thought it was one). They had a field day snickering and taunting me. When they realised that both of her parents are actually cops and that she stays in a barrack, they almost ganged up on me. They assured me that when she comes, I was gon' call them I swam in a sea(meaning she a hoe cause she too wide). I laughed it off.
But there was something oddly disquieting about their sureness.
That night, last night. I asked Adaeze for a heart to heart. I asked her to tell me the truth if she was a virgin or not.

My brothers and sisters, she dropped the first bombshell o. She isn't! I was petrified!
How?!! I knew she'd told me she'd dated twice before me: the first time when she was 15 and then, when she was 17.
I asked her who she lost it to and she said the second person. I started picking holes, inconsistencies in her narrative. This was when, my brothers and sisters, I took delivery of the second bombshell: this time, it came in the form of a Voice-note. She was sobbing and telling me about how she had a family friend who used to come around often back then. How he made love to her(as if it was a unilateral decision) when no one was around. How she called it off and threatened to expose him to her mom when she realised what she was doing was wrong but that she knew deep down that she wouldn't tell on him afterall. Cause she was as guilty. How she was oh-so-sorry for lying to me and why she had to come clean when she realised that she couldn't live with lying to me.
I went cold.
I went numb.
I asked her who else and she said no one else. I coerced and coaxed her to reveal more and she said there was one more guy she had while she was still with her 2nd boyfriend.
Mehn, I was blown off.
Na Adaeze dey reel off body count so?
I was(still am) heartbroken, to put it mildly.

I gave her the necessary assurances that I wouldn't leave her for what's already done and that I just need her loyalty from now onwards.

What never ceases to amaze me is how she got away with these secrets for so long. I mean, one of my greatest gifts is that of my perception. I am next to clairvoyant. How the heck did I miss this whaler?

I am suffering now. This is the wrongest time to be me.

If I had told you to buy this book N500 ...you would have been doing shakara. Now see ya life?
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LIEMI92

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Nobody: 8:38am On Oct 11, 2016
Help me understand this...
Are you angry because she's not a Virgin?
Because she's had sex with more than one guy or because the image you had of an innocent and naive maiden has been shattered?

Bear in mind that we all have secrets.
The fact that she opened up to you should count as something...

6 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by walexzee11(m): 8:39am On Oct 11, 2016
You both are playing games.
If you think it's just for you to play her around at first, what makes you think she didn't have same plan for you?

How are you sure your Online friend hasn't play with her Coochie?

1 Like

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Rayfield: 8:44am On Oct 11, 2016
Please since you're communicating to a larger audience, I would advice you to use simple English next time. This was the reason Anna rejected Smith proposal because Anna couldn't understand Smith Gramatical inuendos.

NOW
The girl have a Low self esteem for telling you her secret (some of them fall in love easily mostly when you're so carring though). I just hope you'll continue relating and be close to her just like the onset.

3 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Lsofdk(m): 8:50am On Oct 11, 2016
i see no reason why you were worked up. stop making assumptions as to whether a girl is a virgin or not based on good characters displayed.

besides i don't see sense in inquiring about a lady's virginity status or trying to know how many guys she has had sex withundecided

forget that your gift… you never jamgrin

I've met virgins that i could have swore were not

7 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Adeoba10(m): 8:51am On Oct 11, 2016
You just dey blow grammer like say na u b Patrick.
You are dating omo olopa and u are xpecting her to be virgin. 99% of omo olopa are oloshos, while dia sons are wasting dia time at bet9ja shop....

7 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by MalikTheCynical(m): 9:01am On Oct 11, 2016
walexzee11:
You both are playing games.
If you think it's just for you to play her around at first, what makes you think she didn't have same plan for you?

How are you sure your Online friend hasn't play with her Coochie?


Err...because he's her elder brother.

3 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by MalikTheCynical(m): 9:04am On Oct 11, 2016
You all should disregard my big words, please. It's not deliberate.
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by firstking01(m): 9:07am On Oct 11, 2016
MalikTheCynical:
I have completed it.



I'm not responsible for your ignorance. I can't water down my diction to please you.


You all should go back and re-read.
CC: falconey
Jonaiframe22
Cutehector
Colik
We know say you sabi english, but, always try to make your post brief and in summary that's if you want people to read and comment cheerfuly like one nigga above me said...

Unto your matter, i always advice us, we(guys), that whenever you come across a girl you like and she likes you too, ignore her past and try to make her what you want her to be cos we all at one point have an ugly past but that shouldn't be a criterion to measure hw our future would be like, reason is because we are all prone to changes...


I actually have more to say but no time...taking that your adaeze into consideration, you know at the age of 16-17 it's really like a gestation period for girls under that age bracket...any girl who escapes sex at that age might likly be because she had a good guidian and strict parents who really took out time to educate them on sex and keep a close tab on them while they go out and come in...


However, some girls fall pray in the hands of these sex starved and hungry guys who would stopped at nothing to get the pants of these adolescent unravel, even going to the extend of promising them heaven on earth....

In essence, since she was opened enough to you i'd advice you consider her, hence she's willing to change.

1 Like

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by youngestmilly: 9:21am On Oct 11, 2016
Guy u see why I call you ignorant? See, forget all this past stories u are trying to get from Adaeze (your babe). Focus on the present together and think abt the future. How many girls av u slept with wey you wan start to judge adaeze? Almost all girls lie about this shit for fear of being called a slut. Ask the girls here. Nice story
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by youngestmilly: 9:23am On Oct 11, 2016
firstking01:
We know say you sabi english, but, always try to make your post brief and in summary that's if you want people to read and comment cheerfuly like one nigga above me said...

Unto your matter, i always advice us, we(guys), that whenever you come across a girl you like and she likes you too, ignore her past and try to make her what you want her to be cos we all at one point have an ugly past but that shouldn't be a criterion to measure hw our future would be like, reason is because we are all prone to changes...


I actually have more to say but no time...taking that your adaeze into consideration, you know at the age of 16-17 it's really like a gestation period for girls under that age bracket...any girl who escapes sex at that age might likly be because she had a good guidian and strict parents who really took out time to educate them on sex and keep a close tab on them while they go out and come in...


However, some girls fall pray in the hands of these sex starved and hungry guys who would stopped at nothing to get the pants of these adolescent unravel, even going to the extend of promising them heaven on earth....

In essence, since she was opened enough to you i'd advice you consider her, hence she's willing to change.
baba u wise o. I realized we wrote almost the same thing after commenting. Hmm
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Nobody: 9:43am On Oct 11, 2016
I guess you are not as half as cynical as you thought you were.. undecided

1 Like

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by anigbajumo(m): 10:24am On Oct 11, 2016


Op gat disappointed,as far as there is no sign of cheating nd she is committed abeg forget the past and continue wif da relationship.






As far as she is not a hoe with rotten nd smelly punny abeg fire dey go without wasting of time.


Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by ednut1(m): 10:34am On Oct 11, 2016
i am not understanding, u made wrong conclusions, u aint a saint either. no face ur book u hear dey worry about gal wey dey PH. top 3 baddest babes in 9ja ph gals dey among. adaeze deff had more guys and u also hv gals so no biggie

2 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by MalikTheCynical(m): 10:53am On Oct 11, 2016
colik:
Help me understand this...
Are you angry because she's not a Virgin?
Because she's had sex with more than one guy or because the image you had of an innocent and naive maiden has been shattered?

Bear in mind that we all have secrets.
The fact that she opened up to you should count as something...

A little of all three and then some more.

See, I noticed that no one has mentioned the real issue. Trust.

If she could fool me so flawlessly for over a year, is there something else she could be hiding?

Now, I'm going to suspect everything. I'll unconsciously start taking her words with a bag of salt.

I forgot to tell you guys this, but in her voice-note, she told me she started sleeping with that family friend when she was 11 and he(the guy) was 17.

She said she later threatened to tell on him when she realised she was indulging in the wrong thing. But that she knew she wouldn't tell 'cause she was scared and ashamed.


Anyway, I didn't break up with her or anything. I was supportive all through cause I know say nobody holy pass.
However, I didn't fail to let her know how devastating this is for me.

We go survive. All I can say is, I shock sha.
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Malayy(m): 11:24am On Oct 11, 2016
if you write this as a novel, I won't buy it.. trying so hard to sound smart..

1 Like

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Nobody: 11:45am On Oct 11, 2016
Yeeee, see comprehension.....Q1: Suggest a suitable title for the passage grin

OP don't mind the ignorant Eze has went in school hillbillies throwing shade at your writeup. Its not their fault. Next time I suggest you provide a special edition for simpletons, with lots of images and coloring sections tongue

4 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by PROWESX(m): 11:46am On Oct 11, 2016
i am not understanding
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by jaxxy(m): 12:37pm On Oct 11, 2016
Wat I hate most is deception. She gave an impression of innocence bt she's probably more experienced than u. However I don't think dats the situation here. I wud say if u go along take things abit slow so as to see the real her and that there's no more pretence.
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by schumastic(m): 12:57pm On Oct 11, 2016
I GOT PISSED AT YOUR ? OF VIRGIN THIS, VIRGIN THAT AND BODY COUNT..CUS YOU ARE NOT A VIRGIN AND YOU MADE MENTION OF HAVING SO MANY BITCHESS N ALL, OR DO YOU THINK IF YOU SLEEP WITH A LADY IT DOESN'T COUNT OR WHAT..IF YOU DON'T WANT THE RELATIONSHIP OR FLING THEN MOVE ON CUS IS NOT BY FORCE AND LOOK FOR THE ONE WITH LESS BODY COUNT SINCE YOU CAN CREATE ONE.

3 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Idydarling(f): 1:02pm On Oct 11, 2016
MalikTheCynical:
I am suffering. I am suffering greatly.

I am suffering now. This is the wrongest time to be me.
i don't wish to be you, not now, not ever!
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by Nobody: 1:31pm On Oct 11, 2016
Op what's your business with her virginity Your the one acting childish don't go asking a girl if she's a Virgin are you a ritualist? She even has a good heart to tell you the truth and your heart broken. You need slap, you got what your looking for (a reason to get heartbroken). Next time you meet a girl you love or like which ever, let her past be.. Don't go asking who she fvck. You self how many u Don bang? She no ask you?.. .. Am outa here. Smh can't believe you made me read that long piss of shiiiit.

2 Likes

Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by MalikTheCynical(m): 1:44pm On Oct 11, 2016
CreamyMoltenLar:
Yeeee, see comprehension.....Q1: Suggest a suitable title for the passage grin

OP don't mind the ignorant Eze has went in school hillbillies throwing shade at your writeup. Its not their fault. Next time I suggest you provide a special edition for simpletons, with lots of images and coloring sections tongue


Wicked! gringringrin
Re: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady. My Personal Experience. by MalikTheCynical(m): 1:51pm On Oct 11, 2016
Idydarling:
i don't wish to be you, not now, not ever!

Who cares?!

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