Maaamaaa:
We still live together and we just paid the rent. I don't have any money to move out and I don't want to ask my parents for any money.

I still want to stay here till my rent expires. Is it a good idea?

I'm just going to focus on me and my work. I don't want to tell my parents anything for now.

I paid half of the rent and I don't want to say anything to my parents if not he will say

he wants to marry but I'm the one that cancelled it.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

splendidbaby:
my sister am really sorry about your predicament,the mistake has been done already.what u will do now is to move on with ur life and assume he doesn't even exist. focus your attentional on your work and ur child,you don't need to move out of the house just stay as Room mate but pls respect yourself by not allowing him tourch u.pls let's chat privately on WhatsApp 07036189706

soonest:
Op, that man doesn't love you one bit. If you go ahead with that wedding, very soon he will start beating you. Move on, what has happened has happened.
You can only move on if you move out of that house of co-habitation. But if you still want to go on with the marriage, all the best.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

butanep:


So she should move out just like that and start parading with a bastard son. it doesn't work that way. The guy must take responsibility. If you can Bleep a woman pregnant, then he will carry the cross.

The lady should stay and deliver the baby. The one the guy is doing now is just initial gragra to push her away. By the time she delivers, the stones in his eyes will fall off.

[quote author=Maaamaaa post=50488400]I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

Dyt:


I didn't see this


Ishilove
Mi.mzyy
Did you see this?

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Maaamaaa:


He said he met her September and then it was just an online relationship but they physically met December when he went home for Christmas last year.

I did not force myself on him, yes I was just stupidly in love. He will get drunk come to my place when I go out with another man, I never tried to make him jealous. I was just having other friends.

I did not move in with him to keep tabs on him, he was broke and could not afford his rent. So we planned to use my own rent to renew his.

He asked for an abortion because he was flat broke and had no money for the wedding (so he said) but we he got an option if taking a loan he agreed to it.. He is about to take the loan.

The OND case is that he said he still has a long way to go.

I believe he decided to date me because I was the convenient option.

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

butanep:


My dear don't be deceived by some comments here. He will definitely love you. Just give it time. Especially when you give birth to the baby, he will have no other choice than to love you as a wife. I know someone it has happened to. So just be diligent and play your role as a good wife to be...

People blaming you about how you force yourself on him. We all makes some careless decision sometimes so it's none of your fault. As far he has scored the goal, he will definitely take responsibility and in the short run you will be accepted back as his true love. Just don't quarrel or always fight with him. His sense will come together soon.

For the other girl he was dating, she has to move on. Although what you did wasn't right by moving with him when you know he is still with the other lady but you have the best reasons for your decision. the other girl will definitely moved on, the fastest runner get it sometimes. That is Life for you.

Do not leave him, you will have a bastard son which will affect you in the long run. Just endure, by the time he becomes a father, things will turn around, that is if your love for him is genuine.


Take heart dear. Shit happens in life. Stand. Strong to face it.

jaxxy:


Hey girl u need perfectly fine till u got pregnant for d guy without proper planning by both of u involved dats all. Dats ur only crime here. To hv a baby u hv to know if u both want it at d time if not protect urself against it.

U didn't lead him on or breake his home like sm people called u. The guy knew he had a gal bt still came for u wether u made him jealous is pointless cos he shud know wat he really wants and not be bothered by dat or wud ur life moving on because of him? He choose u selfishly and it only backfired cos u got pregnant. Now he feels trapped cos he was expecting it and dats where u bleeped up.(cos it affects life more).

Let him know he's free to do wat he wants and insist on him to marry u. Let him do so only if he wud if u were not pregnant also.

ladyverere:


OK. There is nothing like a 'liberal believing Christian'. I try to be fair because I have a lot of brothers and they struggle to be good men and great husbands. I have handled and still handling cases involving couples who cohabited and had kids. Not even 1 or 2 but up to 4, 5 and 6 kids! The men got tired of the women and left. Within a year they are property married to some other woman! And guess what? These are men whose women did everything, and I mean everything for them. Women should be very careful. Love should be mutual and as it is never enough to sustain any long-term relationship women should ensure the men cares for them deeply, respects them and they are highly responsible. Do not waste ur feelings and resources on someone who is only there for some freebies.

ladyverere:



Wait, U said 'back home' then I guess U r not in Nigeria. What I said wasn't just an opinion but from stark experience. My own personal experience, not just once but 2x! Currently my colleague and best friend is also going through the same thing. Pursue men here in Nigeria and they will take U for granted. If the feeling is mutual then it is good but if it is one sided then U in trouble. U cannot force someone to love U, a thing I have learnt to my cost. U can never put ur husband before God in ur life unless of course U r a mere church goer. God first no matter what. And by the way way., I am no longer single. I was before. As for cohabitation, I maintain it is completely and utterly wrong unless the couple r not genuine and bible believing Christians then they can do whatever they want adult or not. Ur friend was lucky her man loved her genuinely for herself and the feeling is mutual. Do not assume it must be the same for every couple. To each his own. Never forget that. A lady who feels attracted to a guy should pursue him all she wants and gives herself to him but she should be ready for the consequences when he does not feel the same way towards her. A promiscuous husband would be promiscuous whether U put him first or last. A Christian wife married to a Christian husband knows the balance. Putting God first doesn't mean neglecting ur home. U say U r married but I don't see ur experience unless of course U r a free thinker in which case U will never understand my points. When God is first in ur home, He makes ur home straight. U will both understand each other and give selflessly. It will never be one sided.

butanep:


So she should move out just like that and start parading with a bastard son. it doesn't work that way. The guy must take responsibility. If you can Bleep a woman pregnant, then he will carry the cross.

The lady should stay and deliver the baby. The one the guy is doing now is just initial gragra to push her away. By the time she delivers, the stones in his eyes will fall off.

nan1:
MADAM DONT LISTEN TO THE ADVISE THAT YOU SHOULD CANCEL THE WEDDING I BET YOU THIS IS JUST A PHASE AND IT WILL PASS.
EVERY ONE MAKES MISTAKE AND YOU ARE NOT AN EXEMPTION HE WILL DEFINITELY CHANGE WHEN YOU GIVE BIRTH ILL ADVISE HE IS THERE WITH YOU DURING LABOUR LET HIM SEE WHAT IT TAKES TO BRING A CHILD TO LIFE HE WILL TURN OUT TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND I KNOW YOU CANNOT FORCE LOVE JUST GIVE HIM SPACE AND TIME HE WILL BE THE ONE TO BEG YOU JUST BE YOURSELF AND DO YOUR DUTIES AS A NOBLE WIFE CAN JUST CONCENTRATE MORE ON YOUR JOB AND THE BABY SO YOU DONT HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE PROBLEMS (DO THIS FOR YOUR UNBORN CHILD) I HAVE BEEN THERE BEFORE I AM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE AND TODAY THE STORY HAS CHANGED TO THE BEST

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN LIFE AND A SAFE DELIVERY

Dyt:

Awww Now I wanna cry

Dyt:

Awww Now I wanna cry

butanep:



You aren't married. You think it's easy to move on after having a baby for a man.

Maaamaaa:
Please pardon me, I'll respond to your mails when I'm better.

I appreciate your sincerity and love

Ujoan:


I'm just really really confused. I mean how does a woman force a man to impregnate her

It's funny how men conveniently exonerate themselves when women get pregnant, as if he was forced to have sex without taking precautions.

He knew he wasn't ready for marriage, yet he kept taking advantage of this lady. I think he deserves every single pain he is apssing through right now. Serves him right . . .

I pray OP gives birth to Triplets, 2 boys and a girl . . . . .

butanep:



You aren't married. You think it's easy to move on after having a baby for a man.