Over the years, it has been a tradition, that whenever a man wants to marry, then bride price must be paid. In other countries, especially in Asia, and previously in Europe, it was the other way. The family of the girl had to pay dowry.

Dowry is what the family of the girl pays to the family of the man, while bride price is what the man pays to the family of the girl.

In India, dowry has been misused, to the extent that the family of the man demand a lot. Sometimes the girl is even killed if the dowry is not enough. In Africa, bride price has been commercialised. A highly educated girl commands more. In the past, it was a girl who was of good virtue and a hard working virgin who commanded a high price. Where do we get hardworking virgins today?

I believe both bride price and dowry have outlived their useulness. We cannot talk about sex equality and still contonue with these practises.

These practises must stop, and the sooner the better

Firstly, do you mind expanding on the relationship between Bride Price/Dowry and sex equality (as you see it, of course)?
Secondly, I see nothing wrong with the practice of Bride Price, or Dowry.

The answer is Yes. why? because without bride prize is like you are snatching the woman away by force without the notice of the family

Yes, but not the hundreds of thousands demanded by certain tribes in Nigeria, Ibos, Ogonis, etc. I stand corrected.

snowdrops:

Yes, but not the hundreds of thousands demanded by certain tribes in Nigeria, Ibos, Ogonis, etc. I stand corrected.

Which one be ibos again?.
Please, use Igbo instead of Ibo.
You may
use ndigbo instead of Igbos
Also, you may use Igbo people or the Igbo instead of Igbos.
Nothing like Ibo.


IT IS IGBO.

There are so many threads on bride price in this culture section.
Nevertherless, bride price and dowry is the in thing.

Its our custom jare.

We must not modernalise our culture, otherwise it will amount to another form of slavery in the name of modernisation.

Those fighting for sex equality are fools, they should go back memory lane to the garden of Eden, God created woman from man, so how dare can we be equal. Even when it comes to sex itself, we are always on-top, so let's pay their bride price because they are vessels which their parents cared for, and we also take the responsibility from them till eternity.

Bride Price is inevitable, unless we want to enslave our culture for modernisation.

Well, if women want to continue being bought, they should not complain if they are treated like property

lipuka:

Well, if women want to continue being bought, they should not complain if they are treated like property

Pray tell, who told you they were being bought?

Bride Price is something we cant avoid, from begining of the world it was practised because if you read the world of God Abraham paid Rebekah's bride price for his son Isaac, even Jacob was not spaired for he paid twce to Laban for his two wives Rachel and Leah etc.

So we can run away from the truth and a only poor fellows that would want a woman dash to him.

Thanks!!!!!

no money, no honey!!!!!

Ladies , Where you at?

why not show some respect to the would be bride,cos it is a confirmation that you really want her

@OP; you are advocating a change to our culture?

Well I think u pay the bride price of the lady u met intact but if she has been tampered y then pay it?

It's part of the culture.

@all,
My opinion is the poster got lost somewhere around the misapplication of tradition. My summary of his take is one of since we are not getting it right then we can as well do away with it. Tradition has to be fulfiled and it has become part of society's requirement to modernise this institution as she sees it. Is it right? Depends on who you are asking.

The worth of a woman steadily over the years has been rising. Bread winners, family support, CEOs, you name it so that era when she used to be valued like a piece of furniture is long gone. She has a say in how she gets married and it is a change any man who so desires has to agree or no show. At such competition has been thrown into what formerly used to be an affair for both families only. Surely, it is the times were in. While it is true that the price paid for the bride used to be in cowries, sheepskin, etc and still is in some quarters, it only now sysmbolises the past in modern times. Her worth has increase, so too her stock. So inflationary trends brought in as a result of modernisation has caught up with good old cowrie. It is what change has brought us. However, it is case dependent too, for every father and mother of a bride desires that their willing daughters get married and make a home. Me I price well well and others too should irrespective of the size of their pockets. So my take is tradition like change has undergone change. Who knows your view may just come in down the line. For now, make we pay to take her home.

its part of our RICH culture and should not receive any criticism from any adulterated mind

Paying bride price/dowry is not buy and sell .
It's a show of commitment from one party to the other depending on the culture.
Granted it's being misused in some cases but it cannot be wished away.
It's part of the socio cultural and psychology of the mankind now.

@aomom

The tampered part is where you get ur juicy from and maybe kids will come out off.bad English bt hope you get what I mean.

i think whats important here is moderation on the part of the families.some might be quick to throw the culture/tradition line, what stops us from discontinuing or modifying practices that have lost relevance or r not applicable in its entirety in present situations.they were propounded by some people who deemed it fit at the time.
jacob paying bride price was the jewish culture at the time.r jewish men still required to work for 7 years as shepards tending to the sheep of their would be father in law?

@Topic
just talk say u dey look for free commodity, lol

u dey look for iyawo sa ra (free wife)

Lol poster must have found a wife in the eastern part of Naija and they nearly cut off his neck with the price

Don't be afraid; at the end of the ceremony they'll return almost half of the money to you.

Besides the pride price in what they might have quoted to you is just 100naira or 75naira. What you're paying is called something else that I can't really remember now.

yes let keep on paying it make them have value

@Poster

I am sure the poster is yet to get a daughter and if he has, she is not yet in primary school not to talk of university. No amount charged is too much. Those traditions are meant to ensure that entry and exit from marriage will be very hard. Check those tribes that give out women without much ado and you will notice that exit is also very easy.

I am not even happy with my own community because the highest you pay is #1500 and a list that #60,000 can take care of. I will then proceed to expend over a million naira on buying a car and other finery for the dowry.  I am plotting a way of crafting a more reasonable list for my two very beautiful daughters. The community list reads like my girls' provision lists when they are returning to school. verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry unfair.

sleak:

i think whats important here is moderation on the part of the families.some might be quick to throw the culture/tradition line, what stops us from discontinuing or modifying practices that have lost relevance or r not applicable in its entirety in present situations.they were propounded by some people who deemed it fit at the time.
jacob paying bride price was the jewish culture at the time.r jewish men still required to work for 7 years as shepards tending to the sheep of their would be father in law?

Sleak, I agree with your case-by-case treatment analysis but the question is should we or shouldn't we pay?  Are you saying, yes we should but moderately?

madam L:

No amount charged is too much. Those traditions are meant to ensure that entry and exit from marriage will be very hard. Check those tribes that give out women without much ado and you will notice that exit is also very easy.

I think this concept you posted here is extremely stupid.
You're watching people buying and selling women and you're here telling me it's social control against divorce??
Come on, we know it's your culture but it's total bullshit.

Paying for women before marriage is disgraceful . . . c'est fini.