by Sandra Hudson (Psychologist Harvard)

There is a lot potential for heartache with falling in love with someone before you see the real them.

When the veil of sex and passion eventually falls, what is revealed is the real person. That is the person you have to love. More importantly, that is the person your partner has to love. ~ David Soto Jr.

Of all the insecurities I have, love making is not one of them. Now that I think about it, maybe it is. But, it’s one of the things that I’m the least insecure about. I fancy myself a good lover. I mean there are a few women out there that would disagree but hey, 80/20 right?
So, why make this self-proclamation that I am good in bed? Because it doesn’t mean shit. That’s why! In fact, it may have made my life worse. For decades I have equated great sex with my soulmate. Do you know how many soulmates I have had? It’s romanticized in books and movies. The couples hot passionate love lead to a long happy life together? I even put this bullshit in my novel. “They’re passion is one of the things that kept them together.” What a crock of shit.
Here is a common cycle that has happened in my life over and over and over again: I meet a girl, we have sex, the sex is great, we fall in love, I reveal the real me, the real me is bleeped up, she leaves. Sometimes, I left to preempt her leaving. It’s time for me to realize that I’m 42 and single and something that I am doing is not working. (You have to understand that I have an unpublished article written entitled something to the effect of, “Why nothing matters if you are a good lover.” Seriously, this was just a few months ago. When am I going to be wise enough to stop being stupid?).

“Being great in bed and not having your shit together is like being rich and an asshole. After a while, no one cares and will stop hanging out with you.”

There is a lot potential for heartache with falling in love with someone before you see the real them.
When a couple quickly jumps into bed, and the sex is good, they can’t see who their partner for who they are. They may or may not be in love, but they are definitely infatuated. As the infatuation fades what’s left standing there is the actual person they are in love with. A person they hardly know and may not even like.

There is a lot potential for heartache with falling in love with someone before you see the real them.
When a couple quickly jumps into bed, and the sex is good, they can’t see who their partner for who they are. They may or may not be in love,cont... https://osagiesblogs..com/2016/10/the-difference-between-good-sex-and.html