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Am I Really A Bad Son? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by YankzyBonny(m): 1:52pm On Nov 15, 2016
RaphaellaDD:
My candid opinion:
1) Don't live your life for anyone. Regret is an evil witch!!! If art is your passion go for it. Your parents are probably not going to be around in the next 50 years and that's when you'll realize that they lived your life for you!!!

2) Get a grip of your emotions. Find what makes and keeps you happy and bury yourself in it when wahala starts. Depression is the younger sister to regret. People will always have their own opinions about you, if you let that dictate your happiness, you're doomed!!

3) Find something to get you out of the house and keep you busy. A job,whatever. Start earning your own money,start being independent in the little ways you can. It'll definitely make you feel better.

Thank you my friend!You are on point...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by YankzyBonny(m): 1:54pm On Nov 15, 2016
RadicallyBlunt:
I like you for being real. We all have challenges some of which are unshareable. But in your case, youll get over it with time. They're all challenges peculiar to ur stage of life some are going thru tougher ones. You don't want to be an orphan house help to an unknown intolerant family. Some of your mate are going thru that right now because they lost their parents and were thrown outta of their fathers house by relatives

So encourage yourself boi. No challenge is worth making you a gangstar. If you yield and become one, it means the challenges overcame you. You should rather overcome it so you'll use your experience to father your children and husband your wife in future.
Thank you my friend!You got it right...
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by YankzyBonny(m): 1:56pm On Nov 15, 2016
baby124:
Why do you keep going to centers known for Expo? You see where you are self sabotaging? If maths is your challenge, sit down and work it. Maths is not hard at all, we just have very bad teachers in Nigeria. They do not know how to teach, neither do they know the fundamentals of what they are teaching. And they like to scare students with ridiculous scoring techniques to cover up their incompetence.

As for Jamb, why can't you use your 257 score? JAMB is now valid for a number of years. Please find out when that law took effect to see if your 257 can be used for the next admission cycle. Forget what your father is saying about that score. You are the one sitting at home, not him. If he doesn't want to help you process admission on the score, you find money and attempt the processing yourself. You are a man at 18.

Please and please, do not let any words put you down. Nigerian parents think being abusive towards their kids is constructive criticism. It's not. You are frustrated which is to be expected. So you need to help yourself. Let go of the frustration and all the harsh words and get to work. Don't wait till last minute to study for JAMB. You don't need to pull all nighter for JAMB if you prepare over a good amount of time.

If law is where you see yourself you will make it in. All these failures are a set up for your future study habits. With the way you study last minute and rely on expo, you will have failed in Uni. Change your study habit and commit to 3hrs daily at least 6months to JAMB. Also try to find something to do to occupy and develop your mind outside of your study time. Something positive like learning a trade.

Believe in yourself, not what your parents, friends and strangers believe you to be. Ask yourself who you want to be and what you want to be. Then work hard to make that possible. Zone out all the noise.
Thank you very much!I love great comments
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by YankzyBonny(m): 1:59pm On Nov 15, 2016
Hmmmm...OGBENUTAN
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Phunkyposh(f): 2:14pm On Nov 15, 2016
Jonwesley:
Why bring up a piece based on your emotions to ask such a naive question if U are a bad son. Yes, U are! And don't be carried away by ill advisedly crafted opinions of ur likes here in Nairaland. Certainly, Nairaland is full of teenagers and the young. Never talk ill of ur parents about your frustrations again. That alone make U a bad child.

Character moulding is a prime responsibility of parents. They were once in ur position and had all your current experiences, so stop the wailings. You painted a narrow picture of all that's going on there to seek for pity right? As to why U are a bad child, there's more U didn't say. The tendencies U exhibit is being prunned to avoid the mistakes ur parents had, they may not have told U. A parent wants the best for a child like U, to at least surpass their own achievements in their time. Avoid this rhetorical and cyclical innuendos that is bane of most families and take the necessary corrections. Even if U make 350 score in Jamb, there is still room for more. Stop being proud and rude. You are arrogant and egoistic to me. Look I'm a parent, and have children of ur age and so I know what I'm talking. Your sex feels is worrisome due to your early exposure, why shouldn't your parents be worry about U and treat U to avoid the trend. A teenager always think he's arrived, the same errors all of them makes. What have U said about God, ur maker. Do U know how to pray? How obedient are U to your parents, and how obedient are U to God whom U never see. I don't have all the day to write my mind here. The scraps written by ur likes here is annoying and I feel is more damaging. Try to feel ur parents and understand that they are meant to train U, a responsibility placed upon them by God. And be humble to learn and take ur time. You rush and U rush out of live. Everybody is not the same. Stop the comparisons, U are not yet in school but ur dullard mates are there, yes! Their destiny is different, face urs. Enough of bickerings and negative thoughts of suicide, hatred and so on. Haba!
Well said
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Zieristclair(m): 2:49pm On Nov 15, 2016
FriedYam:
about friends.

I move with responsible friends as I'm quick to sieve out bad ones.

My friend have style. They dress nice, barb stylish cuts like low layers nd low cut.

My parents use hairstyle to judge my friends. If the haircut is high, the guy is a smoker, rapist, cultist and whatever, just name it. Even the ones with low cut don't escape. I grew up practically locked inside the house till now. I'm given no room to talk to anyone outside.

Dad saw a junior of mine from the school i finished from. The dude was only informing me of their upcoming inter-house sports at school nd was inviting me. I was called inside the house and welcomed with punches nd slaps from dad who was a former karate guru. Why? because the boy usually ddnt greet him. I was punched to stupour.

Now, they think I smoke weed..... They are even convinced that I do. I gave a barber money to help me mix stuffs that'll help hair that was thinning. The man mixed weed in it. I applied it nd it worked. Mum found out nd now I'm a chain smoker... She's told dad nd they both think i'm a smoker cos i sumtimes react angrilly due to the irritation from the fact that i'm still home when my friend are in school. The call it the effect of weed.

Why am i telling nl? I don't know. I've got no one to talk to.
I'm amidst my fam but feel like an outcast.

Tis is just a tip of what I'm going tru
my brother, I can totally relate.Anyone on this forum who has watched the movie: LIKE STARS ON EARTH will know how parent's belittling of their children could almost or even kill these kids.Take my advise,talk to an older relative(uncle,aunt,family friend etc.), neighbour or school teacher and explain your situation to them.Ask them to speak to your parents on your behalf and they shouldn't be nice about it.Be absent on the arranged day of the visit but check your parents' attitude towards you after wards.You can trust they will be more tolerant and understanding(although this may not mean the meeting was a consensual success). do not hinge on that but also pray for God to boost your self-esteem when facing your parents.At the right time, they would want to hear from you as well.GOOd luck.
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by nnamdiosu(m): 6:03pm On Nov 15, 2016
FriedYam:
thank you so much. I'll act on number 1 nd 2. Number three is impossible. Only school can get me out of the house. I respect my parents a lot tho. I have plans to go into agriculture in my third yr... Build an agro company nd start an empire from there... Before 23... Sadly, they think ion have any plans for tomorrow.

Thanks again

Hey bro. Guess what? Ur not alone. Most of us have fine thru this. Urs is soooo heart breaking. What u need is someone to talk and advise you. Are u on Wassap? Hit me up on 08164220091. Its urgent. Don't give up. Its just a passing stage
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Nobody: 6:14pm On Nov 15, 2016
baby124:

Only you is the adult and parent of the world. Mr adviser ITK. If they check now, you probably cheated to pass JAMB. But you are very good at insulting the guy that he's rude because he told us his JAMB score. I am sure you have not seen life. But huffing and puffing on this thread. Nonsense. Go and treat your children like dumb fools who must follow every thing you say without thinking for themselves and see how well they end up.
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Easyman247(m): 9:20pm On Nov 15, 2016
FriedYam:
about friends.

I move with responsible friends as I'm quick to sieve out bad ones.

My friend have style. They dress nice, barb stylish cuts like low layers nd low cut.

My parents use hairstyle to judge my friends. If the haircut is high, the guy is a smoker, rapist, cultist and whatever, just name it. Even the ones with low cut don't escape. I grew up practically locked inside the house till now. I'm given no room to talk to anyone outside.

Dad saw a junior of mine from the school i finished from. The dude was only informing me of their upcoming inter-house sports at school nd was inviting me. I was called inside the house and welcomed with punches nd slaps from dad who was a former karate guru. Why? because the boy usually ddnt greet him. I was punched to stupour.

Now, they think I smoke weed..... They are even convinced that I do. I gave a barber money to help me mix stuffs that'll help hair that was thinning. The man mixed weed in it. I applied it nd it worked. Mum found out nd now I'm a chain smoker... She's told dad nd they both think i'm a smoker cos i sumtimes react angrilly due to the irritation from the fact that i'm still home when my friend are in school. The call it the effect of weed.

Why am i telling nl? I don't know. I've got no one to talk to.
I'm amidst my fam but feel like an outcast.

Tis is just a tip of what I'm going tru

Hello bro. please can I have your Facebook username for a better chat.
Thanks
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Christardor: 9:38pm On Nov 15, 2016
FriedYam..do you stay in Ibadan?
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by pressplay411(m): 10:27pm On Nov 15, 2016
A bunch of half truths. Teenager Issues.

My 2 cents:
No one's perfect, not even your parents. They are struggling with your situation too.
You not a kid anymore, you need to do some self evaluation and know what exactly you want for yourself.
You also need to channel your frustration into something that gets you going: Go for a Training (IT) or Get a job or build your skills (music or art)
Get your geek on: U need to sign up for tutorials if you have to pass your exams and get admission.
Stop your friends from coming over, if u have to visit them instead.

Above all, your not alone. Virtually everyone passes through this phase in life, trust me you'll face even bigger challenges (no be curse).
So don't let it break you instead let it shape you.
Diamond and Charcoal come from the same element (Carbon), the difference is how they both handle pressure.
Wish you all the best bruv.
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by adekennis(m): 11:46pm On Nov 15, 2016
FriedYam:
About sex. I was introduced to sex at a very tender age. 6 precisely by one of those big aunties. Consitently abused till age nine. However, since then, I havent had sex. Maybe this is the reason why anything sexual gets me erect in a flash but I can't help it. I've tried but I get erect most times even when I'm not thinking of sex. I may lie down to sleep nd wake up erect to discover someone saw me. Or maybe I'm just chatting on phone, not anything related to sex, I'll get erect. My fam have seen me dodging this several times. They think I'm having sex. They think I'm a pervert nd think every girl is unsafe with me. Its not lack of chance that's made me not have sex, I want to, but it doesnt seem right, si i just abstained.

A female friend got me 1500# airtime on my bday last yr. Her bday came nd I decided to repay her buy buying a sandal for her.. Mum saw it nd concluded that I had a gf nd was having sex. The house has been hell for me. Dad heard nd now every single wrong I do, I get to hear about my rapist tendencies nd numerous girlfriend ion know abt.

I'm handsome, i look like dad. Very handsome so they think I'm using that to get girls.

I've been depressed severally and thought of suicide many times... A whole lot of other things have happened too which i cant say

Like when i was 12 nd was sprouting pubic hair. Ws so fascinated that i used to pull the hair evrynight to make sure it was there. Mum entered my room at night nd caught my hands in my boxer, I was doing my nightly check. She screamed, said i was masturbating. Ddnt even know what the word meant. Since then They knew me at home as a porn addict nd masturbator... i ddnt even know what they meant.

Tat's abt sex


OP..Forward this your tread to their email address if they have any . leave the house without telling them and thank me later undecided
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Ejaisky: 11:22am On Nov 16, 2016
It's a phase. Most of us passed through this and we are now glad we did. This is a critical formation period of your life, a period most adolescents experiment with most vices. if you don't get it right now you may never get it right again. Your parents mean well for you, they don't want you to end up like the hooligans they see around. Cheer up dear.
Trust me this too shall pass.
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Easyman247(m): 12:56pm On Nov 16, 2016
[quote author=FriedYam post=51017215]thank you so much. I'll act on number 1 nd 2. Number three is impossible. Only school can get me out of the house. I respect my parents a lot tho. I have plans to go into agriculture in my third yr... Build an agro company nd start an empire from there... Before 23... Sadly, they think ion have any plans for tomorrow.

Thanks again[/quote
please, can I have your Facebook username.
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Easyman247(m): 5:26pm On Nov 18, 2016
FriedYam:
thank you so much. I'll act on number 1 nd 2. Number three is impossible. Only school can get me out of the house. I respect my parents a lot tho. I have plans to go into agriculture in my third yr... Build an agro company nd start an empire from there... Before 23... Sadly, they think ion have any plans for tomorrow.

Thanks again

I wish to have your Facebook username or you add me up with Israel Babs ArtistGas on fb. Just for better chat with you.
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Easyman247(m): 5:30pm On Nov 18, 2016
Zieristclair:
my brother, I can totally relate.Anyone on this forum who has watched the movie: LIKE STARS ON EARTH will know how parent's belittling of their children could almost or even kill these kids.Take my advise,talk to an older relative(uncle,aunt,family friend etc.), neighbour or school teacher and explain your situation to them.Ask them to speak to your parents on your behalf and they shouldn't be nice about it.Be absent on the arranged day of the visit but check your parents' attitude towards you after wards.You can trust they will be more tolerant and understanding(although this may not mean the meeting was a consensual success). do not hinge on that but also pray for God to boost your self-esteem when facing your parents.At the right time, they would want to hear from you as well.GOOd luck.

check me out with this www.Facebook.com/artistisrael.babalola
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by thesuave10(m): 2:44am On Jan 03, 2017
RaphaellaDD:
My candid opinion:
1) Don't live your life for anyone. Regret is an evil witch!!! If art is your passion go for it. Your parents are probably not going to be around in the next 50 years and that's when you'll realize that they lived your life for you!!!

2) Get a grip of your emotions. Find what makes and keeps you happy and bury yourself in it when wahala starts. Depression is the younger sister to regret. People will always have their own opinions about you, if you let that dictate your happiness, you're doomed!!

3) Find something to get you out of the house and keep you busy. A job,whatever. Start earning your own money,start being independent in the little ways you can. It'll definitely make you feel better.


Hey RaphaellaDD I know this is kinda random.i really like this post you made. I think it says a lot about you plus you are gorgeous . I'm currently staying in PH. Feel we could chat up BBM or IG . Your pick grin tongue
Re: Am I Really A Bad Son? by Nobody: 9:16pm On Sep 18, 2019
FriedYam:
according to my father, any course other than law, med nd engineering is for lazy people.. Even art...nd that's my talent, I make wonders with pencil

You have bad parents. They are what you call narcissists. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Please don't get down on yourself. Please. I wish I could help you, take the pain away.
I'm sorry for everything you're going through. Please take heart. Don't give up. Everything will be fine.

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