There has been "What Do You Think" Series always showcasing every Friday by 7pm on www.maturemindstalk.com and we make sure that we verify the authenticity of each story before putting it out. We don't want to feed readers with Africa Magic Plus. We prefer real life stories.

Just wanted to share the one we had on the blog last Friday with Nairalanders and let's see what Mature Minds here think about this issue. Believe me, when you think you've seen or heard it all, come check Mature Minds Talk WDYT just to be sure. You just might surprise yourself.


Here we go

"Dear MMT readers,

I "THINK" I WANT A DIVORCE

There is love in sharing is what people, say. But as it is, I find myself in a marriage where my partner cannot stand sharing some things with me, because of the sky set standard of his stupid hygiene. He's clean and tidy to the extent that it's making me flip over the thought of calling it off between us. I almost don't know who the woman in the house is anymore, and it's driving me nuts."


I've been 'happily' married for three years to a very caring husband and all round gentleman. Everything is going on fine... except for one thing, my husband is too freaking hygienic for my liking and as if that isn't enough in itself, he suffers from "Ordering and Arrangement OCD".

My husband has never shared his towel, soap, sponge, or anything of sorts with me, and all hell broke loose the day I used my husband's toothbrush only to tell him two days later. I don't see the big deal in it. After all, we kiss and exchange saliva. He was so livid when I told him. He didn't talk to me for a week for that crime. Nothing can be out of place for ten seconds where my hubby is. Sometimes he'll come back from work and without even removing his tie, start putting this and that carefully in their places. I love this man but the escalation of his behaviour is giving me nightmares.

My husband, sometimes, like a man possessed, would wake up in the middle of the night and start arranging the living room, the kitchen, and any other room not well arranged, putting every single thing where they are meant to be - In the middle of the night. Sometimes I'll think robbers have gained access to the house.

I've 'tolerated' his behaviour for too long and I might lose my mind if I keep up with his OCD and over-hygienic behaviour.


***************

So, should she just overlook that side and focus on his other good sides?

Should she go ahead and opt out of the marriage?

Should she keep praying for him or probably she needs to understand that it's a good thing to have a man who is hygienic and meticulous. Or...

...What Do You Think?



www.MatureMindsTalk.com

Y'all still young in marriage. This should not be happening. Why did you marry him ? Can't ever marry a lady with such attitude. Never.

If he's been that way before they got married then so be it...

Eyah, i feel your plight...
















That kain man no fit giv head oo, he go first wash ur puna wit hypo 4 "HYGIENIC" sucking b4 he can get down wit u...














Wait ooo, when you guys where courting didn't you notice this?

Wetin no go problem for women

u are the problem mma, you are dirty,how could u share brush of #200

The husband is a chronic perfectionist! its both a good thing and a bad thing! Buh the bad outweigh the good because that lifestyle is a perfect way to finish anybody both physically and spiritually!
I have seen it over and over it doesnt end well!
That lifestyle will creep into is waying of thinkin, his finance, investment, family etc... All because he wld bliv dere is a particular way of doing tins.

My advise is she should look for ways to manage him n bring him to terms on some things. in order to avoid regrets later in the future.

#Mytwokobo#

TEVLI:
una don learn work for Talk2Bella hand ahbi??

What I do

Talk2Bella:


What I do

u don teach them how to pick stories from thin air ahbi?? .. Watch out for Talk2Tevli

Tnk ur stars u got married to an hygienic fellow

Life is totally simple, all you need is a good analytical/ problem solving skills.

Problem: He likes things put in order, he would even wake up midnight to do so.

Analysis: There is only need to put things in order when things are not put where they ought to be. Ask yourself, if he were still a bachelor will he need to wake up midnight to arrange things? I don't think so, cos there wouldn't be a need for that since everything will be in their right places.

Solution: Dear wife, know where you husband likes things to be positioned (you two can talk about it too). Put things in their expected places. It's not rocket science. If he always left the salt on the kitchen table instead of inside the cabiet, trust me, you would do the same.

Having obsessive compulsive disorder is debilitating not for the person who has it but also for the family. It is anxiety driven and will have a trigger he needs help in addressing his anxiety and above all he needs your support to get better.

Calebosko:
u are the problem mma, you are dirty,how could u share brush of #200

for our area na #100 sef...

Having somebody with ocd around is very frustrating..I watch' the big bang theory', #Sheldon cooper so I knw Wat I'm talking abt, and I av a friend too.....it's not ur hubby's fault,ocd(obsessive compulsive disorder) is a mental disorder that ranges from mild to chronic....following Wat uve outlined ,ur husband's case is not in the mild bracket .. besides u shld av known abt his condition before marrying him..leaving him might not be the best option...it might cause additional mental conflict..besides u can learn to live with it

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a common, mild or chronic and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.

Obsessions are repeated thoughts, urges, or mental images that cause anxiety.
Fear of germs or contamination
Unwanted forbidden or taboo thoughts involving sex, religion, and harm
Aggressive thoughts towards others or self
Having tinz symmetrical or in a perfect order
Compulsions r repetitive behaviors dat a person with OCD feels the urge to do in response to an obsessive thought. For example

Excessive cleaning nd/or handwashing
Ordering and arranging tins in a particular, precise way
Repeatedly checking on things, such as repeatedly checking to see if the door is locked or that the oven is off
Compulsive counting
Not all rituals or habits are compulsions. Everyone double checks things sometimes.

Some individuals with OCD also av a tic disorder. Motor tics r sudden, brief, repetitive movements, such as eye blinking and other eye movemnts, facial grimacing, shoulder shrugging, and head or shoulder jerking. Common vocal tics include repetitive throat-clearing, sniffing, or grunting sounds.so u cld av had it worse...imagine him doing like this in public wit u.(like an episode from walking dead)

Symptoms may come and go, ease over time, or worsen. People with OCD may try to hlp themselves by avoiding situations that trigger their obsessions, or they may use alcohol or drugs to calm themselves. Wc i don't nid to emphasize its negative consequences.

OCD is typically treated with medication, psychotherapy or a combination of the two. Although most patients with OCD respond to treatment, some patients continue to experience symptoms.

Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs) and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are used to help reduce OCD symptoms. So I urge him strongly to go for psychotherapy....the best thing for u to do is just to manage his behaviour and be more empathetic,see things from his own point of view as he his not intentionally frustrating u.....U beta tank God that his obsession is bin a germophobe and arranging things...U cld av had it worse..

TEVLI:
u don teach them how to pick stories from thin air ahbi?? .. Watch out for Talk2Tevli

My stories aren't out of thin air

Talk2Bella:


My stories aren't out of thin air

yea.. And Buhari is a graduate

Seriously speaking her husband and I have same in common; I do have 'arrangement and order' issues, and I love cleanliness but I can share a towel, sponge and soap but certainly not toothbrush.

This shouldn't be a problem, at least he is not committing adultery or other negatives. She should learn to stay with him and adapt except if she is a very dirty person. Was she expecting a perfect marriage?

.

I just found a many that is like me.

Imagine this kind woman, me hate dirty things tho, ask my family members ,my pals, if you can't put things in order, how would your life be huh,,, nonsense, better get used to such shii and stop wailing,

I really understand the woman's plight. I have a similar fiance . He doesn't allow me sweep, wash his cloths and some order normal chores like that because he feels no one else can do it as much as he does. He's a clean freak. It can b really frustrating, at times i feel i can't meet up to his extravagant standards. He even told me his mum complains abt it at times. I feel its part of him tho, i just have to try had to catch up so I'll advice this woman to do the same.

Some women get issues, the problem the hubby is having is not much of a problem. All she can do is learn to live with it and open her mouth to talk to the husband about it cause am not sure she had done that by this post.

These guys up here chatting shit have no idea how mad it is having a partner with OCD. It's like you can't even try be wild or something, they're so predictable. At first the behaviour is cute but as times goes on it becomes really frustrating.
People actually see therapists for stuffs like this cos there's nothing much you can do to help even if you've got fire poomps that's not enough to make him change.
Be strong yea

how do u sleep at night knowing all u do is to post lies

OCD is a serious disorder and I think you need a professional to actually talk to your husband to understand that his action is a psychological problem that needs help. Obsessive Cleaning Disorder has made so many people stay without spouses in Europe a lot, and when the partners understand that is an underlying problem then they can manage the situation.

The wife is half-way there, now you understand that your husband has the condition, you need to steer clear of his personal stuff, its not normal, but then your husband isnt the normal gentleman. He is OCD patient, and he needs to be exposed to first class filth by professionals and carefully rehabilitated.

[quote author=Amabeast post=51040095][/quote]

Bros, na correct question you ask. Some ladies will blindly and but consciously get married with a guy who's got those freaking behaviors believing after getting married to dem guys maybe dem guys will change but the reverse is the case. No for better for worse ni o!



My 2cents sha...

I suggest this wife in question should learn to embrace her husband. I mean real talk here - very few men do mind putting every thing in order, nice and tidy so if your's does, put up with him no matter the standards.

On sharing a toothbrush ma, that would be going to the extreme for me. I mean i have spent all my life knowing that u just don't share Personal effect especially toothbrush. Because if there wasn't any bad breath/dirt in my mouth it wouldn't be useful, so why go about sharing it.

Even when our salivas do mix while kissing, would you then say you can as well lick up my puke in the name of love...I guess not.

Your husband is just like me lol.. it shows you're not tidy woman.

Taiofil:
The husband is a chronic perfectionist! its both a good thing and a bad thing! Buh the bad outweigh the good because that lifestyle is a perfect way to finish anybody both physically and spiritually!
I have seen it over and over it doesnt end well!
That lifestyle will creep into is waying of thinkin, his finance, investment, family etc... All because he wld bliv dere is a particular way of doing tins.

My advise is she should look for ways to manage him n bring him to terms on some things. in order to avoid regrets later in the future.

#Mytwokobo#

Really, so you prefer someone that will rather nag about everything? That is the best kind of person, instead of complaining about this the wife should join, when he discovers that everything is always in their right place, he won't bother.

That's one of the reasons living with someone during my school days was a big problem for me, every time I return from class, i can't explain how they can be so disorderly and to add to it, sometimes I will meet them with their girlfriend.

To me you are the problem, if he can kiss you and exchange saliva, that means he is not germaphobic.