Hello there,

Hope you’re ready again for another interesting episode of www.maturemindstalk.com 's WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Thanks for your comments on the last WDYT. Please if you want to really stamp dwon your comment and ensure the person in question actually gets to see it, you might just want to take three minutes of your time, head over to the site and drop the comment in the comment section.

Thanks a lot.

For the sake of clarity, the stories we post are 100% real stories. If you find it hard to belive, that's because more things than you can take in are going on in the world. You thought you've seen or heard it all? Oh well...

So, without wasting time, it’s the WDYT for today.

Here we go!


I’LL OSTRACIZE MY WIFE FROM HER FAMILY

Hi, my name is Richard and I’ve been following your blog for a long time. I even do check on it even when you didn’t post for a long period of time. Good job you’re doing here but be more consistent.

Now, I’ve been married for 8 years but what I’m writing about started some time ago. My wife is caring, loving and everything I want in a woman but I’m about to make a decision that I hope would not tear us apart. That’s why I want to seek opinions first.

You see, my wife has one bad habit, and that’s “Pity” she’s the 21st century Mother Theresa. She can pity human, animal, living thing and non-living thing. This shouldn’t have been my headache but it has become a thorn in my flesh.

We gave birth to our first child/daughter three years into our marriage and since then one of her brothers have been staying with us – Fast forward to today, she has three siblings, all male and one of her friends staying in the house with us.

As if that isn’t even enough, these grown up younger brothers (and even her friend sometimes) ask her for cash. Especially the youngest, who is twenty. The second is twenty-three and the oldest is twenty-five. She’s way older than her immediate younger brother.

I’m not asking her not to take care of her family, at least I take care of mine but carrying all their burden isn’t making me a financially happy fellow and if I try to talk to her about it, she’s quick to say “If they have better options, would they be here?” None of them is ready to go out and hustle.

I’m a businessman, she works in a top company with a very decent salary but we have two kids now, and she’s pregnant with the third. Asides from the fact that I’m not totally comfortable with my daughter growing up amidst three men – and believe me, she’s growing up really fast.

These guys have turned to ‘professional job seekers’ (that's what they tell me when I ask them what they are doing now) and they won’t take the initiative to go fend for themselves, as long as she keeps meeting EVERY of their needs. Sometimes she’ll ask me and I’ll reply with a categorical “NO”. She’ll still find a way to collect or borrow (like she’ll pay me back) and give it to them – This thing really pisses me off. I feel like I have five children already!... and it's a luxury I can't afford.

Now, I’m about to close my eyes and send them all packing, and tell her that it’s either I remove her name as a signatory on our joint account or she stops her silly pitying habit. We need to help our families but we shouldn't go overboard because we want to help.

But the thing is, I’m scared how she will react to this. She has fragile emotions. I’m even second-guessing my decision. So should I just leave them and open another secret account and be saving? (I’ll tell her in future, why I did it) or should I stamp my foot down and chase them away? Or should I give her a monthly allocation for “Helping People”? Or… what do you think?


Thanks everyone

Link: http://www.maturemindstalk.com/2016/11/wdyt-ill-ostracize-my-wife-from-her.html

It's an African thing, especially in the Eastern part of Nigeria. Daughters a sacred cash cows to be milked and sucked dry even in matrimony.

But Nigerian women find it so convenient crowding their matrimonial home with their siblings when they wouldn't condone similar behaviour from their husbands.

You shoyld flush them out. If they haven't got jobs, they should go back to the village and farm; so much money in agriculture these days.

Trust me, if you don't put a sure foot now, these spongers will grow lazy and dependent on your wife all their lives.

Its a very serious issue also considering the kind of person you know your wife to be....


.Is there no way you can support them in a big way and also telling them to leave at the same time?...


I wouldn't advice you just chase them away with nothing...discuss it with your wife,let her know bout your insecurity with your kid also...she should be bothered...dont let it look like it's just what you want...sit with het and plan what to do for them...

She would be concerned about you too..