Onijagidijagan:
she's might be lying...

sweettease:
*whistles*
She needs real support and psychotherapy, it's a major problem that won't be easy to overcome but with the right emotional and psychological support, she'll cope better in time.

Ephort:

I'm just wondering if two years is not enough time to overcome such. I thought of psychotherapy too but I don't know if it will work on her. It appears she has accepted the condition as part of her life. I will check online tomorrow to know if there is any established institution that does it here. Thanks for your suggestion.

Ephort:
I'm in deep confusion now and seem not to have any solution handy. I met this lady in my former place of work sometime in 2015. We became very close, but I couldn't ask her out then because she was my colleague in the same office. Fortunately, I got a better job elsewhere and saw it as a great opportunity to ventilate my feelings to her.
I asked her out in August last year and since then we have been inseparable. She is a very wonderful, beautiful and honest young lady that has all it takes to make a good wife. We started discussing marriage in November. All these while I have not made any move to sleep with her. The farthest we went was kissing.
She came to my house yesterday to pass a night & I felt it was time to know our selves sexually. She initially refused but later yielded. We had the worst and probaly the shortest sex ever as she was sobbing all along. I tried to know why and she made me promise not to hate her or tell anybody if she tells me. She then said that she was raped in 2014 by 3 men who got her pregnant which she carried for 3 months b4 removing it through a painful process. That ever since then, she had never enjoyed sex and hates the thought of it. She also hates to be touched on her breast or to be fingered and so many other things I cannot say.
I consoled her as she slept under my arm but the taught of what she told me kept me awake and worried.
I just don't know what to think of. I don't know how to make her overcome the hunting experience. She even remembers the date. She doesnt seem to believe she would enjoy sex again and this is something I wouldn't love to miss. This is not part of the things I planned to endure in my marriage and I don't want to think of leaving her. We have gone so far and I don't wish to add to her pain.
Is there any drug that she can take? Is there any medical process that corrects such? I just wish the idiotts that did this suffer very well.

Kondomatic:
She said don't tell anybody.








and here you are

CorGier:
Ephort, hmm if at all her story is genuine, I doubt you've got the time or the patience to see her through this trauma. Victims of rape rarely ever recover fully, let alone one who was gang raped and impregnated in the process.
Obviously you love her, so it's normal for u to feel the need to want to "fix" her. But bear it in mind that there is no quick fix, cos a lot depends on her willingness to forgive herself, and whether or not her level of trust/love for you is really enough to make it work. So if you feel you're up for it, then she needs lots of reassurances from you. Once in a while, pull her close, make her feel safe, get her to open up to you about the stuffs she enjoyed in the bedroom b/4 her sad incident, get her to loosen up a bit, tell her what you like, get her to want to touch/please you - just be comfortable with your bodies, then little by little you can then escalate to PIV and see how it goes. Good luck, you've got your work cut out for you.

Divay22:
since she appears to have accepted the condition as part of her life,it's up to you now,she needs your constant reassurance of your love for her,her been healed fully is directly related to you,she needs all the love,attention,care now.........
Recovery from this trauma is not linear,there will be good days and bad days,Just be kind and gentle........

Ephort:

You are right. I'm even thinking of getting someone who suffered same to help her out, but I know no one. My happiness is that she is open to me. I believe she will get over it.

sweettease:
*whistles*
She needs real support and psychotherapy, it's a major problem that won't be easy to overcome but with the right emotional and psychological support, she'll cope better in time.

Kondomatic:
She said don't tell anybody.








and here you are

extwoo:
It's bad enough to lose the company's money, it's worse yo get rapped in the process. It's horrible to get rapped by someone, its even more horrible to get rapped by 3 guys, and getting pregnant, now having to read get rid of the pregnancy. Bro. She needs a life time of Therapy, there's no forgetting this easily.

here:
Lack of communication or unhealthy one is key always key I keep telling people.Some would say let what happened in the past remain in the past and they only care about the future that's also perfect but for this case how can this be explained? In relation even if no intimacy but it should be discussed freely and let the partner make his or her choice. Afterall you kissed ;would give room for understanding and issues cared for rather than put a partner in a position to decide if he or she can live with something after full commitment. Not like am advocating putting your story out there. No wonder some partners don't even know about an ailment until almost wedding...not fair...no partner has to bear the burden left by the past if he or she doesn't want to and should be given the chance early to decide.
Dear friend,it's your life...sort it out,if you chose to stay make it work.But be sure she is interested in healing,if not you will get frustrated by the time she heals and the circle continues...pain.
The thought of this your first time will make you frightened each time you want to ever sleep with her...no male ever pray to. experience what you did...not many males would ever want to be with her intimately because of feeling of pity,but you get to decide how you want it to stay...many will tell you support her but you gauge ur strength and chose what you want to do...would be beautiful if you go through this healing together but both must show desire I repeat...because sometimes rescued partners who played no part seem to wear out the relationship in long run..goodluck with whatever you decide

Ephort:
I'm in deep confusion now and seem not to have any solution handy. I met this lady in my former place of work sometime in 2015. We became very close, but I couldn't ask her out then because she was my colleague in the same office. Fortunately, I got a better job elsewhere and saw it as a great opportunity to ventilate my feelings to her.
I asked her out in August last year and since then we have been inseparable. She is a very wonderful, beautiful and honest young lady that has all it takes to make a good wife. We started discussing marriage in November. All these while I have not made any move to sleep with her. The farthest we went was kissing.
She came to my house yesterday to pass a night & I felt it was time to know our selves sexually. She initially refused but later yielded. We had the worst and probaly the shortest sex ever as she was sobbing all along. I tried to know why and she made me promise not to hate her or tell anybody if she tells me. She then said that she was raped in 2014 by 3 men who got her pregnant which she carried for 3 months b4 removing it through a painful process. That ever since then, she had never enjoyed sex and hates the thought of it. She also hates to be touched on her breast or to be fingered and so many other things I cannot say.
I consoled her as she slept under my arm but the taught of what she told me kept me awake and worried.
I just don't know what to think of. I don't know how to make her overcome the hunting experience. She even remembers the date. She doesnt seem to believe she would enjoy sex again and this is something I wouldn't love to miss. This is not part of the things I planned to endure in my marriage and I don't want to think of leaving her. We have gone so far and I don't wish to add to her pain.
Is there any drug that she can take? Is there any medical process that corrects such? I just wish the idiotts that did this suffer very well.

Achievement:
Let me tell you the truth she is just lying to you. .. .. . You'll one day discover she did an abortion in the time past what better way to bring it up than through this means?

sashishalom:
Whether shes lying or not,shez hurt and she can be fixed...
Your involved now and she should know getting better now isnt just bout her or for her but for the both f you guys...

I'll also recommend you doing some test bout some infections one can be exposed to through rape...

Talk to her and let her know how it would affect you guys if she doesn't heal and how you wont be happy...

No matter the kind of help she gets,if she doesnt open up well,she wont heal...

Ephort:

She knows it's a big snag & has made a few promises about working on it. Truly, she felt freer discussing it with me this morning. She was expecting me freak out or get annoyed yesterday but my reaction made her open up more this morning.
As per the test aspect, I already know she will run some tests including the one for fertility.

bisoye11:
OP, she is lieing, rape by 3 guys? Haba!