Bumper stickers for PMB and co.

It’s a new year and in Nigeria it's the season for bumper stickers. Here are a few that I think President Buhari and others in this government should be sticking to the rear of their cars.

“2017! MY YEAR OF REDEMPTION”:
This should sit well on the bumpers of allof PMB’s official cars. The man needs serious redeeming. Even a diehard buharist like myself who has never cast a vote for any party that Muhammadu Buhari is not in, is quietly questioning many things. Truth be told, every aspect of the buhari ideal that drew us to him since 2003, needs serious redemption. His fight against corruption needs redemption. His monetary policy needs redemption. Even his budgets need to be redeemed. Thankfully he has the whole of 2017 to do the redeeming because 2018 the campaigns start and by then it’ll be too late.

“MAN PROPOSES GOD DISPOSES”:
This is for Kemi the Finance Minister. She has tried everything she knows in economics in the over one year that she has been in office but nothing seemed to have worked. The economy moved from “slowing down” to “negative growth” to “recession” to “stagflation”. But she’s human, she can only propose. The rest is up to God.

“THE DOWNFALL OF A MAN IS NOT THE END OF HIS LIFE”:
Something tells me Hon. Abdulmumuni Jibril already has this sticker. How do I know? Well just a few months ago he was sitting atop one of the most lucrative committees of the House of Representatives and now he’s suspended from the same house. He fought long and hard and threw tantrums all over the place in order to bring down his former “partners in crime” along with him but no one cared to listen. So at the moment he may be down but I know he’s not out. Nothing will convey this message better than this sticker.

“WHO GRAMMAR DON EPP [?]”:
would be great for Solomon Dalung’s car. And instead of a bumper sticker, I’d suggest he makes a much bigger sticker, big enough to cover his rear windscreen. That way it’ll be amply clear to all those people that are disturbing him because of his grammar that when it comes to Mr. Dalung, grammar doesn't count. They should find other things to disturb him about.

“WHERE MAN DEY WORK NA THERE HIN GO CHOP”:
There are many in PMB’s team thatshould proudly drive around with this sticker on their bumper but there is only one man for whom it’s a perfect match. You guessed it…David Babashir Lawal.

“LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE”:
I don’t live in Abuja so I can’t really appraise the performance of the FCT minister but based strictly on the complaints of Abuja residents, I assign this sticker to him. Because thats what he seems to have been doing since November 2015.

“LET MY ENEMIES LIVE LONG AND SEE WHAT I WILL BECOME IN FUTURE”:
If Amaechi hasn’t already done a victory lap around Portharcourt with this sticker then he needs to fire all his advisers. The very thought of a future in which Amaechi is bigger than he is now, would send shivers through Wike the strength of which can be picked up on the Richter scale.

“HAPPY SURVIVAL ”:
After what he went through to survive the CCT trial, Senator Saraki needs two of these. One to stitch on his agbada and the other to stick on his car.

“NOBODY KNOWS TOMORROW”:
This one is for me. I reserved it for myself because the only resolution I made for 2017 is to think positive. But it is impossible to do that with all the gloomy economic outlook for 2017 churned out by our know-all economists. So I say to them…NOBODY KNOWS TOMORROW

Cc: lalasticlala, seun, mynd44

https://medium.com/gainaako/bumper-stickers-for-pmb-and-co-2a776c2e852b#.ak3n8jvp5?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C8765106944
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